"The Eighth Side of the Triangle"(23/?) by Susan Jameson (DrBarnBarn@aol.com) See part 1 for headers, archive info, etc.
~~~~~ As Mulder Saw It ~~~~~ That walk was a complete waste of time -- mine and Scully's. She was a million miles away, and nothing I could say would draw her out. She gets like that sometimes; I mean, she always has gotten that way. I just thought that after everything we'd been through in the past year, maybe we'd gotten past this business of shutting each other out. I was wrong. Everything I said seemed to fall flat. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she was fine. I asked if I'd done or said anything and she said, "Don't be ridiculous, Mulder." I asked her if there was anything I could do, and she said... Yeah, you guessed it. "I'm fine, Mulder." I got pissed after a while and told her I thought we might just as well head back, to which she agreed so quickly that I was actually a little insulted. So I walked her back to her cabin and then headed back for mine. When I got there, I found Daniel lying on his bunk, fully clothed. The lamp was out, but the moon was bright and I could see him pretty clearly. He had that distant, thoughtful look he gets sometimes. It's not necessarily a bad sign, but it sometimes means he's brooding and wants to be left alone. He was holding something in his hand, holding it up and looking at it by the light of a moonbeam that shone faintly through the window. It glinted a pale gold as he turned it this way and that. "What do you have there, Daniel?" I said, and he looked up at me quickly. Clearly, he hadn't heard me come in. "It's my wedding ring," he said, his lips twisted into a rueful smile. "Your wedding ring?" I said, coming over to sit on the edge of the bunk beside him. "Oh, that's just fucking great. Scully's in a shitty mood, I'm tired as hell and I come back here to find you more or less literally mooning over your wedding ring. What the hell did you bring that for?" Okay, I was a little short with him, but I was in a pretty bad temper over the Scully thing, and this was a bit much for me. "I didn't bring it," he said, and I could tell he had chosen to ignore my outburst, which is just further proof that he's much too good for an asshole like me. "Jill brought it. She gave it to me. She's had it all this time." "Why did she give it to you now?" I said, my heart leaping into my throat. This was pretty scary. I got even more scared when he didn't answer right away. Okay, so I shouldn't be so fucking insecure. I shouldn't be a lot of things. I've just never been able to believe that I'm not going to lose Daniel somehow, some way, like I damn near lost Scully -- twice. Anyway, Zuckerman's warning had an annoying habit of insinuating itself into my thoughts no matter how hard I tried to keep it out. "Daniel," I said, more quietly, "am I going to hate what you're about to tell me? Because if I am, I wish you'd just go ahead and say it." "No, lover, it's nothing like that," Daniel said gently, shaking his head, but he didn't say anything else for a second; he just turned the ring around a couple of times, slowly. Then he turned his head and looked up at me. "When Jill and I got married, it was kind of improvised," he said, slowly, reflectively. "It was summer; I had just graduated from Duke, and I was at NAS Pensacola on TAD for the summer. I was due to start medical school in the fall. Jill was working on her degree at the University of South Alabama, about 90 minutes away. She had a pretty good job, too, working as an LPN nights at the hospital. She moved down there to be near me. I guess that's what made up my mind for me." "Made up your mind to marry her?" I said. "Yeah," Daniel said, nodding. He looked at the ring again, then slipped it onto the fourth finger of his left hand, looked at it for a moment and then pulled it off. "We were lovers already," he said, quietly. "But by that time, I was already beginning to understand that this relationship -- any heterosexual relationship, I mean -- wasn't going to change a damn thing. I had about decided to tell her the truth when she showed up one day and told me she was leaving school. She said she'd gotten a really good offer from Mass General. But when I questioned her about it, I found out that she was taking a pretty big pay cut, not to mention giving up her studies, to take the Mass General offer. I can't tell you how much that touched me. I decided if she cared for me that much, I ought not let her get away." "You loved her just as much," I said, trying not to sound as grumpy as I felt. "Don't try to pretend you didn't." "I loved her," Daniel said, softly. "I don't know if you can quantify it that way, as to who loved whom more. But I did love her, and I'd never felt that way about any other woman. I decided I'd better not let something this good get away from me, and that I'd just have to deal with the ... lack of spark, I guess." "I know the rest of that story," I said, just a little irritated. Shit, sometimes I just do not want to hear about Daniel's sad history of making love with Jill, okay? I'm not superhuman. It hurts. "So about the wedding ..." Daniel shrugged. "We got married at the base chapel a month later," he said. "Her parents were in Japan and my father was at sea -- he'd just taken command of USS Lynde McCormick. So Jill and I handled it all ourselves, but neither of us had much time to devote to it. We forgot all about rings until the day before the wedding, and there was no time to get them engraved. I got Jill's engraved for her when she got her RN from Johns Hopkins, but she never got mine engraved ... until now." And he handed me the ring. God, it was weird, holding that ring in my hand. It was plain as it could be, not very wide, and even in the dim light I could see that it was scratched in a couple of places. Of course it was -- he'd worn it almost constantly for 12 years. For 12 years, this ring was almost like a part of his flesh, a symbol of his membership in that great mystery known as mainstream society. It was a world I'd never belonged in and never would. Only rarely did I find myself regretting that. Now, it was as though every insecurity I'd ever suffered, my fears of losing Daniel, of losing Scully, were summed up in this small, perfectly round piece of gold jewelry. I almost expected my hand to tingle with the shock of touching it, or the ring itself to glow, like an elven sword in the presence of an Orc. This wasn't just a ring, it was a talisman, a powerful one .. a key to another world. What it meant to Daniel, I couldn't say. Then I looked inside and read the ancient Latin words of absolution, shining bright and sharp against the worn gold, and I felt my throat tighten up. "That's ... pretty amazing," I said, and I gave it back to him. "To say the least," he said, and he slipped it on his hand again. This time, though, he put it on the fourth finger of his right hand. "Fox," he said, slowly, "if you don't mind, I think I'm going to start wearing this again -- but on this hand." "Okay," I said, but it really wasn't. It felt like a slap in the face, if you want to know the truth. "I need to," he said, looking at me again, "because it'll help me remember that Jill really has forgiven me. And I need to know that if I'm going to go on with my life ... not just my life, but my life with you. That's why I'm going to wear it on my right hand, because I need to keep my left hand free for the ring you're going to give me." "The ring ..." I repeated, puzzled. "What ring?" "That's up to you," he said. "Although I believe you once suggested a Duke University class ring ..." That's when it dawned on me. "Daniel," I said, cautiously, "are you saying what I think you're saying?" "I am if you think I'm saying 'yes,'" Daniel said, softly. "I'm still scared shitless, Fox, but I want to do this. I have no idea how we'll work it out, but..." "Never mind that shit," I said, and I practically jumped on top of him and grabbed him and damn near kissed the life out of him. I stopped kissing him just long enough to burst into laughter, the most joyous laughter I can ever remember, as I looked down at Daniel, who was smiling at me with a joy in his eyes I'd never seen before, either. Forever. Daniel had just said he was ready to promise me forever. It was too damn much to take in. So I kissed him again; and this time, I didn't pull away. And so we made love, more gently, more tenderly than I can ever remember it being between us. Daniel was slow and patient with me, as he almost always is, and for once, I let myself relax and let him follow his careful, measured pace. It was almost dreamlike, feeling Daniel slowly arousing me with his hands and his lips, feeling the welcome pressure of his entry into me, the slow heat of his thrusts, the soft whisper of his voice when -- for the first time I can remember -- he whispered his love in my ear as I came. Afterward, we lay together inside our double sleeping bag, and for a long time, neither of us spoke. "I can't believe you made me wait this long for an answer, you bastard," I said, finally, stroking his hair. "God, Fox, you are such a romantic," he said, and then he laughed. "Romantic enough to think you look pretty damn hot in your dress whites," I said. "Any chance I can get you to wear them to the ceremony?" "On one condition," he said. "Name it," I said. "I'll wear my dress whites if you want me to," he said, "but just because I'm the one wearing white doesn't mean I'm going to carry any damn flowers." "Aw, shucks," I said. "I was already imagining your bouquet, too." "Don't tell me," he said. "Orange blossoms." "Are you crazy?" I said. "There's only one flower that'll do for this wedding." "I'm afraid to ask," he said, smiling. "Pansies," I said, solemnly. "You asshole," he said, and he kissed me again. "There is one more thing," I said as I flopped onto my back again. "What might that be?" Daniel said. "The ceremony," I said. "What the hell kind of ceremony is there for a gay-male, lapsed-Catholic/agnostic-Jewish military wedding?" Daniel laughed out loud. "God only knows, and He's not telling," he said, still chuckling. "I think we may have to wing it." "You mean write it ourselves," I said. "I'm okay with that -- if it's all right with the priest." "What priest?" Daniel said, looking at me with a slight frown. "No one said anything about a priest. Besides, I doubt you could find one who'd agree to officiate." "That's where you're wrong, asshole," I said. "There's a priest on this hike with us; a fact which has apparently escaped your notice." "Get out," Daniel said in amazement. "Sugar plum, I'm as out as I'm going to get," I said, in my swishiest voice. "No, seriously," I went on in my normal speaking voice. "You remember meeting Frank Henderson?" "The little guy with the mustache and no hair?" Daniel said, sounding surprised. "I had no idea he was a priest." "He doesn't like to be called Father when he's on these trips, that's why," I said. "But he is a priest. A Jesuit, to be specific." "And he's gay?" Daniel asked, still sounding as though he couldn't quite believe it. I nodded. "Queer as a three-dollar bill," I said. "But celibate. He is a priest, after all." Daniel shook his head. "Will wonders never cease," he said. "So you want Father Frank to perform the ceremony?" "I was actually thinking that you might want that," I said, mildly. "You're the one who misses religious services, not I." "I do miss it," Daniel said, more quietly. "But a wedding is a different situation from what I'm talking about." "Go talk to the man, Daniel," I said. "He's going to say mass tomorrow morning. Go meet him and get to know him. He heads up the D.C. chapter of Dignity." "And your point is?" Daniel said. "My point," I said, rolling onto my side so I could look at him, "is that you need more than just Jill's ring on your finger to make you feel forgiven, Daniel. You need to be part of the Church. You and Scully both need that. I don't understand it, I don't share it, but I can see it in you both. You need to make your confession, you need to take communion, you need to do the whole nine yards. You need to be part of the family again and not just the tribe." Daniel was silent for a long, long time. I actually began to think he might have fallen asleep, but then he rolled over, took my face in his hands and kissed me, very slowly and very, very thoroughly. God, he felt so good ... every kiss, every touch, seemed rich with new possibilities, imbued with meanings that had never been there before. Even Daniel's mouth seemed to shape itself more perfectly to mine than it ever had before. "Daniel," I whispered, still lying in his arms, "tell me something." "I will if I can," he said. "Why now?" I asked. "What made you change your mind?" Daniel gave a little shrug. "A lot of things," he said. "I will tell you that Jill had something to do with it. At any rate, she got me started thinking." "About what?" I said, reaching up to brush the hair off his forehead, realizing as I did it that his hair had never been long enough to need that before. He had let it grow a little while he was on leave, and God, did it ever look good. "About promises," Daniel said, softly. "About what they mean, about which promises matter the most. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that even though I have no doubts -- none at all -- about how much I love you and how much I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you do have doubts. Not about me, maybe, but about yourself, and because of that, you need that promise. You need to hear me say it before God and a company of witnesses, because you've just never really been able to believe that you were even lovable. Well, you are. And if it helps for me to make it a solemn vow, I will." I couldn't say anything. I was too choked up. "Also," he said, his voice sounding a little rough, "there's one more thing I need to do at that ceremony that I forgot to mention." "What, baby?" I said, softly. "I need to get down on my knees and thank God for putting you in my life," Daniel said, even more hoarsely. "Because I've never done that. I was never really sure before how God looked at us. After tonight, I won't doubt it again." I couldn't answer him. I could barely move. I laid my head on his shoulder and held him close, and if Daniel felt my tears as they slid down my face and onto his chest, he never, ever said a word. And slowly, peacefully, I drifted off to sleep listening to the beat of his heart. ~~~~~ CAPT ANTHONY J. REILLY, USNR 351 South Street Hyannis, MA 02601 2 JUN 1997 VADM ALBERT H. KONETZNI, Jr., USN Deputy and Chief of Staff, U.S. Atlantic Fleet 1562 Mitscher Ave. Norfolk, VA 23551-2487 Dear sir: I have read the proposed biographical information for my promotion ceremony, and I find it complete and accurate. There is, however, one correction to be made: My son, CDR Daniel A. Reilly, will receive his Navy and Marine Corps Medal at a separate ceremony. It was decided, for family reasons, that we would prefer not to mingle the two ceremonies. I am, sir, Yours truly, (signed) Anthony J. Reilly CAPT ANTHONY J. REILLY, USNR (text of biography attached) ***** RADM Anthony Joseph Reilly was born in Fall River, Mass., the eldest son of the late VADM James Walston Reilly and Mrs. Reilly, the former Elizabeth Halstead. He was commissioned an ensign upon graduation from the United States Naval Academy in 1958. RADM Reilly's first sea duty was aboard USS SHELTON as Gunnery Officer, Fire Control Officer, Navigator and Combat System Officer. In SEP 1962 he reported to the Naval Military Personnel Command as the Rating Assignment Officer for the Sea, Special Programs Branch. RADM Reilly reported aboard USS O'BRIEN (DD 725) as Combat Systems Officer in FEB 1966. On 23 DEC 1966, USS O'BRIEN was hit by shore batteries north of Dong Hoi. This marked the first time a United States vessel took a direct hit since the beginning of the Vietnam conflict. RADM Reilly was decorated with the Navy Cross for valor for his efforts to rescue injured crew members, stabilize the ship and rally the remaining armaments to return fire on the enemy despite his own injuries, for which he was decorated with the Purple Heart. In NOV 1968, RADM Reilly was assigned to the staff of the Commander, U.S. Seventh Fleet, homeported in Yokosuka, Japan where he served as the Fleet Scheduler until MAR 1971. His next assignment was as the Executive Officer of USS JOHN R. CRAIG (DD 885) in Norfolk, VA. In NOV 1972 he reported to the U.S. Naval War College in Newport, RI and he graduated with distinction from the Naval Staff College in DEC 1974. RADM Reilly's next assignment was to the United States Joint Forces Command in Norfolk, VA where he served as the Chief of Special Technical Operations until FEB 1980. In JAN 1982, RADM Reilly took command of the USS LYNDE MCCORMICK (DDG 8). On 20 JUN 1982, USS MCCORMICK, USS TURNER JOY (DD 951) and the cruiser USS STERETT were fired upon by machine guns from an unidentified vessel after returning from the United States-Thai exercise COBRA GOLD, '82. USS MCCORMICK returned fire and the foreign vessel fled without further action. In 1984, RADM Reilly was appointed deputy chief of staff to COMSURFPAC. He retired from active service in 1988 at the rank of captain, but continued in the active Naval Reserve. In addition to the Navy Cross and Purple Heart, RADM Reilly has been decorated with the Navy Distinguished Service Medal, the Navy and Marine Corps Medal, the Defense Meritorious Service Medal, the Navy and Marine Corps Service Medal, the Vietnam Service Medal, the Republic of Vietnam Presidential Unit Citation, the Naval Reserve Sea Service Ribbon and the Joint Meritorious Unit Award. PLEASE DELETE THE FOLLOWING PORTIONS: AJR As part of this evening's ceremonies, RADM Reilly's eldest son, CDR Daniel A. Reilly, MC, USN, will be decorated with the Navy and Marine Corps Medal for heroism while serving as Senior Medical Officer aboard USS GEORGE WASHINGTON (CVN 73) in support of OPERATION SOUTHERN WATCH. RADM Reilly is also joined this evening by his daughter, LT j.g. Grace Reilly Garland, USN and her husband, LT CDR John L. Garland, USN; his son, LT James S. Reilly, USN and his escort, Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, daughter of the late CAPT William F. Scully, Sr., USN (ret.) and Mrs. Scully; and the admiral's daughter and son-in- law, LT and Mrs. Howard M. Hull, USN. Also in attendance is CDR Reilly's former wife, Jill McDonnell Reilly, daughter of CAPT and Mrs. Randolph P. McDonnell (USN, ret.). Mrs. Reilly is escorted by Special Agent Fox Mulder of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
END "The Eighth Side of the Triangle"(23/?) by Susan Jameson (DrBarnBarn@aol.com)