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Speed didn't wait for his team leader to join him. He headed out the door and onto his bike. Seeing Horatio exit the house he took off, emotions mixed about seeing his ex lover with another. Sure, it had been nearly a year. But working with the man every day sometimes allowed for fantasies he kept to himself... and invested hope in.

Things wouldn't change. But they might be uncomfortable for a while. Speed, lost in his thoughts and struggling emotions, didn't see the Hummer Horatio drove take a wrong turn behind him. When he arrived at HQ he assumed the team leader had just driven slower then him. Speed had a love for... speed. And Horatio had been driving the CSI issued house vehicle. Every other car in Miami was an SUV and they simply weren't intimidated into getting out of each other's ways.

An hour went by before Speed or any one else once again noticed Horatio hadn't made an appearance.

"He was right behind me," Speed raised both hands at Eric, shaking his head. No way was he going to attempt contact again. He had seen the man leave his house.

And again, the cell phone, pager, radio, and house phone were not answered. Tracing the Hummer to a garage there was no sign of the missing CSI this time. It wasn't like the lead criminologist to up and leave.

Anya had taken a cab from Horatio's home back to the club. She hoped she had crept in the back way unnoticed and into her apartment. Making sure her alarm was set for sunset, she collapsed into the bed and was almost immediately asleep.

Her dreams were troubled by unseen monsters menacing her and her love. She wasn't precognitive at all, she reassured every time she woke with a start. But still, the nightmares had an unsettling affect on her. And she wasn't able to shake that unsettled feeling as she performed that night onstage. Victor was his usual charming self, but there was an undercurrent of something that she couldn't quite read.

So the moment she was done and could slip away (having had to have 'dinner' with Victor - she didn't taste a bite of the rare steak that she ate as Victor drank his ration of donated blood), she headed to Horatio's apartment. The key had given her let her in without difficulty. But much to her worry, the apartment was empty. "Maybe he has to work late," she said to herself, although she didn't believe it.

Speed had grudgingly continued on his assigned case for the rest of the day, glancing at the door, around the crime scene, in his rear view mirror, every where for Horatio to make an appearance. He never did and Speed could see even the other's grow antsy and a bit troubled about the empty Hummer that had been tracked down. It was being treated as a missing person case since there was no evidence of a struggle or homicide... nothing to suggest it.

Though evidence had been gather at and around the vehicle... it showed nothing. It didn't even show if H had left the car and walked into a nearby building. It was as if he had literally disappeared.

That night as his shift Speed peeked into Horatio's office. He stood there, not knowing what he should be seeing. He was a CSI, if he didn't see anything... he had to look deeper.

That woman he had been with... Speed shook his head and headed home. But he couldn't sleep. And he soon found himself at Horatio's front door well past midnight. Tailed by an officer, Speed tried to seem casual. But he was at Horatio's house. This was not casual.

The officer stationed himself just inside the front door as Speed let himself in and glanced around the foyer. Feeling foolish, he called out: "H?"

She had been waiting in his apartment for Horatio to return. There was no answer to his cell phone, and she didn't answer his ringing phone. Instead she sat lotus style on his bed, waiting for any sign of him.

"He's not here," Anya said, recognizing the voice as the young man who had been here this morning. Anya walked out of the bedroom, visibly upset. It was clear to her that Horatio hadn't been here since this morning, and her unease was threatening to become full fledged panic. "Speed, right?" she said, a bit uncertain of his name. "What's wrong? I thought Horatio was with you."

"No..." Speed set his kit down on a nearby table. He opened it and paused. "You haven't seen him tonight?" She looked upset. Sure. But he had seen women before, bawling about a lover and then found the evidence that put their fingers around the rope that had killed the man. He looked around the room for signs of disturbance. An open drawer. A paper out of place.

"Been here long?" He shifted his weight as the officer took a step into his line of sight. "Give us some room?" He perked a brow at the younger uniform in annoyance. Speed tended to dress down and while relaxed on the job without the hindrance of a suite he knew it also put other's at ease. The badge, gun, belt, the whole nine yards of an officer tended to put some people on the defense without them knowing it.

"No, I haven't seen him tonight." Anya's blood ran cold when Speed told her that he hadn't seen Horatio either. "I've been here a couple of hours. No calls or any sign of him. He gave me a key this morning," she said to explain her presence.

"How long has he been missing?" She was stupid to think that just because it was daylight they had been safe. Victor had his spies and servants who could move during the day, and wouldn't hesitate to employ them. And if he had been gone since this morning, there was a good chance Horatio was in serious trouble.

Speed watched her closely and despite his dislike of Horatio's new lover he could find nothing to further his suspicions in her demeanor and tone of voice. He sighed and rubbed at his eyes. "Since this morning," he closed his kit. He wouldn't find anything here.

"When I was here... I haven't seen him since I left." His fingers rested on the tab of his kit, unsure what to do with his hands. "Do you know anyone who might have... taken him?" He couldn't say it, couldn't think Horatio had been hurt. Because of his job Horatio had people who disliked him, Speed could think of many who would hurt him... but not on the way to work in broad daylight when Horatio was armed. Horatio was too sharp to be caught off guard.

That was the one question that Anya had hoped would not be asked. And the one that she had been trying to figure out the best way to answer it without putting anyone else in danger. Except that there was no way to do so.

Even though, she couldn't answer him in an absolutely direct manner. Anya let out a sigh and nodded. "His last case, the one that brought you to the club. Did he speak to you about what he learned?"

Speed looked at her accusingly. "No," he paused. So Horatio had discussed that case outside of HQ. Exactly how much did this woman know, exactly what did their team leader keep from them? Who was he protecting here? "What did he tell you?" And will I end up like Horatio if you tell me... he inwardly cringed at the thought.

"If you're withholding information we may need to bring you in for questioning," closed cases weren't often reopened... but if their findings had been false, their leader was in for a world of trouble if they ever found him alive.

Anya's eyes flashed something not quite fear. Speed had no idea what he was stepping into. "If you do that," she warned, "you, me, and Horatio will be dead for certain." Victor would assume that she had betrayed him, and would begin tying up loose ends. And although she was a valuable asset to his club, almost a trophy of sorts, he wouldn't hesitate to kill her if it meant keeping his undead hide safe.

Still, she would need help trying to find Horatio. She could ask Victor, but she doubted she'd ever get a straight answer from him. "If you want to know what I told him, meet me at the end of pier 30 at dawn." They would be able to see anyone trying to spy on them, and the sunlight might give her a false sense of security and hope, but it was better than none.

Speed looked over his shoulder to see if the cop had overheard that. What kind of loon had H been dating? Licking and then tightening his lips he looked back at her. "That's a joke right? I have a better idea."

He smiled but it was anything but happy. This woman was wasting his time. "Why don't you tell me right now and I don't bring you in as a possible suspect?" He wasn't sure what he was annoyed at now, Horatio or his girlfriend.

Anya rolled her eyes. It was to be expected, she guessed. Her request was odd. However, that didn't make it any less annoying. Her eyes flicked from Speed to the beat cop and back to Speed as she considered the situation.

Realizing that he probably wasn't bluffing, and she didn't need to be brought to the station and deal with all those hassles, she nodded at the uniformed officer. It was bad enough that she would have to reveal her secret to another stranger, but she wouldn't to two at once. "I'll talk here, but not with him present."

Speed lowered his voice and leaned in closer to the woman. "You'll talk in front of whoever I want if I have to bring you in, but if it will help me find H tonight instead of next week- fine." He gave the cop a meaningful nod. "Two minutes Jerry. Off the record." They'd both have their asses in a sling is some one found out Speed interviewed a possible suspect without a partner.

"You better speak fast, I'm not sure if Jerry understands 'off the record.'" Speed could only wait and see if any one approached him about deviating from policy.

Anya let out a sigh as she tried to figure out the best way to tell him without telling him everything. This is what she didn't like about dealing with humans. Most vampires knew how to play the game politically and for the most part without strong arm tactics or resorting to such blatant threats. Their threats were much more subtle.

"Horatio stumbled into a... for lack of a better term... war between... two secret societies. I'm afraid that he's caught the attention of one of them." Inwardly, Anya cringed although her expression remained earnest. Her story sounded lame to her own ears, and she hadn't even gotten to the supernatural elements of it yet.

Nodding his head Speed knocked on the table beneath his hands for something for them to do. He wasn't sure how to react to that. Taking a slow breath he studied the woman in front of him. Why were all the crazy ones beautiful?

"These... Uh, 'secret societies'," he used finger quotations, "got names?" He'd play her game. Maybe if he pretended to believe her she'd smile instead of wearing that earnest expression, it made him feel guilty.

Anya rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. He was reacting just the way she was afraid of. "There's no need to patronize me," she said with a scowl. "Believe it or not, I'm telling you the truth."

"Be careful what you do or say around Victor," she said evenly. "He is way more dangerous than he appears to be." Probably a vain warning that would send him straight into the danger zone, but she had to warn him anyway.

His job was to find out if she was telling the truth. At the mention of a name he perked up however. "Victor? Got a last name, address?" He perked a brow, spreading his hands slightly. He brought out a pen and pad from his back pocket.

The cop opened the door, stepping back in and purposefully towards the two. Speed handed Anya the pen and pad to keep the name and address, assuming she gave it, quiet.

For a moment, she considered 'accidentally' giving him a wrong address. But then he'd hunt her down, and since she lived in the building that Victor owned and lived in as well, it was pointless. So she scribbled down the name and address, wondering if she was signing Horatio's, hers, and possibly Speed's death warrant.

"I hope you know what you're doing," she said as she handed him the paper.

Speed didn't get a chance to look at the name and address. As Jerry stepped across the floor he snatched the pad in mid transfer and tore Speed's note out. Handing him back his pad he pocketed the note. "You've been temporarily relieved of duties, sir. From the pig's mouth itself, he suggests you leave this case to the others."

Speed blinked at Jerry for a moment. Pursing his lips he nodded his head. With one last, meaningful look at Horatio's girl he grabbed his trace kit and allowed himself to be escorted out the door.

Anya held herself still as she watched the cop take the address. Now she knew she was in deep trouble. Someone in the police force was in Victor's pay, and she had just revealed that she was working against his best interests.

If Victor did have Horatio, she had just given him the excuse he needed to execute her lover. Once she was certain that she was alone, she collapsed in heap on the floor of the apartment, and sobbed heartbrokenly.

14 days had passed. 14 days of restless sleep when he slept at all. 14 days without the case moving a smidge (according to Alexx). Speed was beginning to feel lost. Alone. Isolated. He was told he would be allowed back at work on another case in 36 hours. It was that phone call that woke him up, made him get dressed and greet the real world again. Work would be a relief from the pit of despair and guilt he had found himself in.

He shouldn't have treated her that way. She was the only one who might understand what he was going through... assuming he told her. Either way, he had to apologize. Problem was he had no idea where to find her... had he even asked her name?

He drove back to Horatio's house after midnight. Not sure if he'd find any one there he still half expected to see Horatio as he knocked at the door.

She knew she shouldn't be here, but she couldn't stay away.

It was Anya's night off, and it was the first chance she had, she went back to Horatio's apartment. It was the only way she could feel close to him. Other than a knowing look when she returned to the club, Victor had been silent on the subject. But he didn't have to say a word. She knew he was behind Horatio's disappearance.

Curled on his bed, she heard the sound of someone pounding on the door. With a heavy sigh, and not quite sure what she would say to explain his absence, she walked to the door and opened it. "Yes?" she said as she recognized the officer that Horatio had introduced her to, and then later had questioned her. "What do you want?"

Speed wasn't sure where to start, he hadn't exactly been rehearsing what to say for this moment so he came right to it. "I'm sorry." He put his hands in his pants pockets. "I wasn't exactly kind to you... I was upset and shouldn't have questioned your relationship with H."

He took a breath that straightened his posture. "Can I come in? We all miss him... some more than others."

Anya looked him up and down cooly before pushing the door open wider. "Come in," she said and turned around, stepping deeper into the apartment. Even though she hadn't spent a long time with Horatio here, she felt... safer... closer to him... while there.

"I haven't seen or heard from him," she said. She walked over to a couch and sat down, elbows resting on her knees. Again she looked Speed up and down, still slightly defensive. "And if you're here to arrest me, or drag me in for more questioning like you threatened earlier, let's get it over with."

Speed took a long breath, suppressing his sarcasm. He wasn't here to dig the wound deeper, he was here to heal it. He sat on the edge of an arm chair cushion. "I'm not here to do any of that. I'm sorry for speaking the way I did that night... H would have had my neck for it."

He knew what she was going through but he wasn't sure he could bring himself to admit it. Would she even believe him? He raised his eyes from the floor to her. "You love him. Its been two weeks and you're still here... I still expect him to call in a case." He dug out his pager, which had been silent since that day and wouldn't start beeping until he returned to work.

Anya stared hard at him for a long moment before sitting up and relaxing a bit. She nodded. "I don't know if it's wise for me to come here or not, but I can't stay away. I feel... closer... to him here." She wasn't certain what to do when the rent came due at the beginning of the next month. She was half tempted to pay it just so she could continue to come here.

She looked at Speed, who appeared to be just as miserable as he did. An unsure awareness dawned in her eyes. "And you feel the same way?"

Not exactly avoiding the question, Speed answered: "I knew I'd find you here," because I knew I'd come here too (he left the last part unvoiced). "He was family... he meant a lot to a lot of people." Speed looked down at his hands, interlocking the fingers. He hoped he wasn't being obvious. Who else had shown up at Horatio's house knowing Anya would be here?

He could feel that weight starting to lift, however. With another person to grieve with the wound didn't seem so painful. And with another present it was easier to stop the tears.

She thought she heard words half spoken in his statement. There had been no others who had stopped by while she was here mourning. And as she had wandered around the apartment, looking a pictures and poking at his furniture, she had realized that as much as she loved Horatio, the man was still a mystery to her, and now would likely remain so.

But Speeds grief didn't quite match to a lost son's. Cautiously, she leaned forward and put a well manicured hand on his joined fingers. "And he was.... more than family to you?" she asked.

Speed's eyes looked up to hers. He took a breath and shook his head. "No. Nothing like that," he started and faltered. He couldn't lie to her. She was the only one he could share this with. "Not for a long time," he finished. "We... called it off. It got in the way of work." His hands trembled as he looked down again. "It was his decision, not mine. I still love him."

His chest tightened as he stopped speaking, knowing his voice would give away the tears he fought to control. He wanted to run out of that house that smelled like Horatio. Resign from his position where H would never lead again.

Anya slowly slid off the couch to perch on the arm of the chair next to him. "And you haven't had a chance to mourn him as a lover." She squeezed his hand again gently. "It's okay. I know how you're feeling," she said as tear appeared in her eyes. "I feel the same way.

Looking up, Speed furrowed his brows at her tear. Not a confused look, nor angry, but empathetic. "He loved you," he took her hand between his. "I saw it from the beginning. He changed. I knew some one had gotten to him... and I was angry it wasn't been me."

Reaching up he brushed her tear aside. "I'll be here if you need me." His voice finally broke and he looked down at their hands to hide his face as a tear escaped. He was never one to show anything but his strong exterior, which often just came across as being pissed off most the time. Having a shoulder to mourn on was something nearly alien to him. The only other person who had offered him a shoulder had been Horatio himself.

"It works both ways, Speed," Anya said. Getting the young man in deeper wasn't probably a smart idea, but if he had loved Horatio as she had, he deserved to know what happened. He deserved the whole truth, no matter how insane it sounded.

"I can talk to you about what I know, what I wouldn't tell you the night we were here first." She squeezed his hand again. "But I've got to warn you. You'll probably think I'm insane after I'm done telling you."

Speed sighed, looking back up at Anya. "You're right..." he paused. Did he really want to push this? Did he even want to know? He was a man of science, he just didn't believe in the paranormal. He wasn't religious.

But then why had Horatio vanished without a trace (literally)?

"But I have to know what Horatio knew. Maybe I can find him." And he could swear to her he wouldn't laugh. Not now. He rubbed her hand between his and released it, standing to walk to the kitchen. "It's going to be a long night," Pouring them both glasses of water he sat down at the table. "Start at the beginning. When you met."

Anya let out a heavy sigh. "Horatio had come to the club tracking a killer. What he didn't know was that the man he was tailing was the... servant... of the club owner. I watched from the stage, and picked Horatio up after the set was over."

That part was the normal, humdrum part of her story. Now things would get weird. "While we were at my apartment, I told him a few things I shouldn't have." Her next words were delivered without a sensational tone, hoping to make them sound rational. "Namely that Victor, the club owner, is a vampire, and I am a werecat."

Speed grew silent for several breaths, staring at Anya, expecting her to break up laughing and for Horatio to pop out of a closet and it was all one big April Fools. But he didn't hear Horatio's laugh and her face remained straight.

Blowing a sigh out Speed ran a hand over his face. "Okaaay... I assume you can prove it. But that's what got H in trouble, right? You're saying he was abducted by some vampire: after all vampires like their anonymously." His last words grew sarcastic with a forced laugh and he bit his tongue. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, I can prove it all right," Anya said, her eyes narrowing, despite his apology. All that was missing from her expression of feline displeasure was the pinned back ears and lashing tail. She was sorely tempted to show that at least one portion of her story was true. "But I don't think you'd like how I'd prove it."

She took a deep breath, forcing herself to relax. Speed wasn't the enemy, she reminded herself. "Horatio knew, but I'm not sure that the ones responsible knew that he knew. Or if they saw him just as a loose end to take care of." Either way, it didn't look good for him. "Apparently, they felt that he got too close to the truth and as a risk of exposure. Because like you said, vampires like their anonymity. They've been fighting to rule humankind from the shadows from day one."

Speed groaned past a smirk as he ran a hand through his hair. Taking this seriously was more than difficult. The way Anya spoke of it with such a straight face was infuriating. He looked off to the side, unable to look right at her without yelling. He had more patience with his suspects, but at least with them he could walk it off, have his partner take over. And usually if they were spouting this kind of crap you could also smell it on their breath.

Clearing his throat he looked back at her, not happy but holding it back. "And why won't I like the way you prove it?" He held his tongue in check, biting off his words at 'it'.

Anya smirked as she rose to her feet in one smooth movement. He wanted proof, and proof he would have. "Because seeing is believing." As she said that, her ears went pointy and the corners of her eyes elongated. Flat teeth became rounder and more pointed as her nails thickened into claws. Dark, sleek fur covered her arms as a long tail snaked out from beneath her skirt.

She gave him a feline grin, slit pupiled eyes sparkling in mirth. "Now do I have to call my friend Carl to have him come over and suck your blood to convince you about the other part of my statement?"

Speed had spilled his chair as he stood with a sudden start. He stood there, staring and heart pounding. With a shaky hand he moved as if to reach out and touch the cat creature with one finger. But he drew his finger back as if it had been burnt, uttering a sharp "no!" and jerking as his legs swiftly led him to the door. He paused for a moment, head tilted as if confused.

He turned, eyes roaming the room like he was looking for something, like he had come here and forgotten why. Seeing Anya he took a startled step backward, grabbed the door knob and flew out into the night. His feet carried him a good mile before he began to slow and wonder what the hell he was doing jogging at night. Coming to a stop he rubbed at his eyes, only then realizing he had been crying.

That was exactly what she expected. It was how most humans who hadn't been carefully educated about the existence of things that go bump in the night reacted. Blind, unadulterated fear and panic, and the flight instinct taking over.

But though it was what she expected, it wasn't what she wanted. Completing the transformation to something that appeared to be a jet black caracel, she ran hard on Speed's trail. She had to find him before something happened to him.

Speed's heart was racing hard, too hard for a simple run through the park. His limbs shook as he came to himself, trying to recall why he was out alone this late and why tears blurred his vision. Using a tree to rest against he glanced around the park. It was for kids, with a playground and swings. It was just down the street from Horatio's house. They had come here a few times.

He had been at Horatio's house. Why had he left on foot? Speed lowered himself to the grass underfoot, he didn't bother to wipe his eyes this time. He had been successfully bottling this up for weeks...

Following his scent, Anya raced along Speeds trail, worried about what would happen to him. Cursing herself for giving in to her impulses, she searched for Speed, hoping that she could find him before someone else did. Because Luna only knew who was still watching Horatio's apartment.

Spotting him sitting on the grass and crying, she hung back, hoping that her black fur blended into the night. Now she wasn't certain what to do next. Coming up to him would probably send him running and screaming into the darkness again, so she hung back, watching and waiting.

It took several moments for Speed to pull himself together. Distraught by the lack of memory and sudden burst of emotion he allowed himself to cry it out. No one was around and if there had been he would have been suspicious for it was late and he was at a park. Drying his eyes on his sleeve he stood and looked the way of Horatio's house. Surely he had driven there, he lived too far to walk. But as he considered walking back to retrieve his bike he began to shake again.

'I'll get it tomorrow,' he thought. Something there had triggered a memory or emotion his brain just didn't want to deal with and he had to obey those impulses no matter how annoying they were. They were illogical. And he was logical man. Sitting on a park bench he stared at nothing, finding safety in letting his mind go blank as he waited for the sun.

Trailing him silently, Anya watched him start towards Horatio's home and then abruptly change directions. Her instinct said to follow him, but she knew that would be worse if he spotted her. He was in shock from seeing her as a feline, and any reminder might make it worse. So she watched him sit on the bench until an hour before dawn, and then melted back into the darkness.

Two weeks passed. Anya had tried to live without Horatio as best as she could. But not only did her mind think often of her missing lover, she also thought of his partner. Wondered how he was doing, if Speed had recovered. So that was how she found herself at CSI headquarters, hoping to talk to him for a few minutes.

"You have a visitor." Speed perked a brow and glanced up after the girl didn't leave. Glancing around the lab he had forgotten he was alone in the room. "Thanks," he nodded as the girl gave him an odd look.

Who came to "visit" this time of night? He had taken to night shifts when he returned to work, surprisingly his old team understood it would be too weird and emotional to work without H. To work under a new leader's guidance. New dynamics.

Finishing up what he was doing he hung his lab coat as he exited and headed to the waiting area. It was elaborate and large with many chairs though Speed had never seen more than a hand full of people in occupancy at any time. Tonight he knew his- that sounded weird- his visitor would likely be the only one there at this time of night.

"Anya?" He felt a stab of grief at the sight of Horatio's lover and stopped just short of the door. Something kept his feet from approaching her though he didn't notice that underlying fear that just grazed at the corners of his mind. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh, wanted to see if you had heard anything," Anya said with an uncharacteristic uncertainty. Horatio had been heavy on her mind, a shade haunting her day and night.

As had Speed. "And I was wondering how you were doing." She had wondered if he was okay, if she had damaged his mind when she had lost her temper and shapeshifted before him. And how he was handling his grief at his mentor and lover having gone missing. "I know that you must miss him," she said simply.

Speed nodded. Something was feeling stranger and stranger about standing here with Anya. "It has to be worse for you," he said softly. She had lost him without closure. At least when H and he had ended it, it had been expected, mutual. "You didn't expect to lose him. H and I splitting... I saw it coming."

He had to get to the bottom of why he was suddenly so fidgety around Horatio's lover. "I can be off in an hour, you got time to grab a bite?"

Anya's first thought was that wouldn't be a good idea. It was too big of a risk to be seen out in public together. But still, she needed to talk to someone, and no one at the club was safe to speak with. And someone who was close to Horatio was just what she needed. "I'll meet you out front at the end of your shift, then."

Speed nodded and made haste with his farewell to return to his duties. Though his mind wasn't fully on them as he proceeded. The hour seemed to crawl by.

Grabbing his keys he headed out the front doors and down the long and wide steps to the parking lot. He just had his bike so when he looked for her his first impulse was to ask "Your car? I just got my bike," he gestured at it a few yards away. He was anxious to be done with this encounter despite also wanting to draw it out... the conflicting emotions were making him tense.

"Um, I don't have a car. I came in a cab," Anya explained. She didn't usually stray too far from the club - walking distance for either her human or feline forms. "It's a lovely night for a walk," she offered. "And isn't there a coffee house at the end of the block? We could grab a bite to eat there."

There would likely be only a few other costumers. That was something that both made Speed nervous and agreeable. Nervous because he'd be alone with her... and he still wasn't sure why that bothered him. Agreeable because there would be few ears to overhear them.

"Sounds fine," Speed offered. "There are coffee houses at every end of the block." He looked back at the CSI building as they walked. "It's weird, him not being there. Even this time of night I still expect him to walk in for a report." He glanced at her, trying to read her face in the poor light. "How you holding up?"

Anya stared ahead, eyes slightly downcast. "I'm hanging in there." Her eyes lifted to the sky, taking in the starry night. "I keep expecting him to walk around a corner, or if I look out over the stage, he's there in the audience." She let out a heavy sigh. "I miss him. I didn't know him that long, but there's still a big hole in my soul now that he's gone."

She then looked at him, blinking back tears from her eyes. "How are you holding up? This still has to be rough on you." She couldn't mourn Horatio in front of the vampires, which gave her an inkling of how he must have been feeling.

"About the same," Speed hadn't missed the tears in her eyes and all subconscious fear of this woman temporarily vanished as he lay a supporting hand on her opposite shoulder. He sighed as he looked back down the block where they headed. "It's still hard not to think he's just on some unannounced vacation."

His thoughts returned to that night he had ran from Horatio's house in tears and he bit back his own emotions at that stab of grief. "Anya... have you been staying at his house? I... I think I was... or tried to go there one night. But... it was too hard. I can't recall much, if I even made it to the front porch."

"At first I was," Anya said. She knew the night in question, and she wasn't going to reopen those wounds intentionally. He was still in shock about seeing her in her true form, and with time the memory would fade. "But it was too painful for me too. I need to let him go, but I don't know that I can."

As they reached the door of the coffee shop, Anya realized that she didn't want to be around people. "Do you want to go to his place?" she asked. turning to face him. "Try to come to terms with it?" She wanted to help him past this. In many ways, Anya felt that it was her responsibility for what happened to Horatio, and by extension Speed as well.

Speed halted, nearly blanched at her question. Something was telling him no. Some alarm was blaring in his mind. His heart quickened enough he felt hot. "Anya..." His voiced quivered. "I'm not sure it's a good idea." He took a step back and turned.

Coming to the curb he rested his hands on his knees, closing his eyes and trying to calm his breathing. "There's something I'm not sure I can face."

Alarmed by Speed's reaction, Anya sat down next to him. She put what she hoped was a reassuring hand on his back, stroking and patting with a gentle touch. "It's okay, Speed," she reassured. "You don't have to face anything until you're ready."

Inwardly she cursed herself, knowing that it wasn't Horatio's disappearance he was reacting to, but seeing her in her fear inspiring feline form. Guiltily, she wondered if he could ever trust her. And half wondered why she was so worried about his opinion of her.

"I can't sleep," he choked out. "Every time I do I go there. I'm at his house." He balled his fists and in frustration pushed them against his temples. "I don't know why but I'm terrified. And I can't get out." His entire body was tense, braced against the crumbling wall as he tried to reign his emotions and the tears he had thus far managed to keep inside his apartment bedroom.

Anya gently continued to stroke his back. She knew they were getting some odd looks from people entering and exiting the coffee house, but a sharp glare encouraged them to keep their distance.

She leaned closer to him, whispering so only Speed could hear. "It's okay. Let it out. You'll feel better if you let it go."

He had told her more than he had told any one. As that realization gave him what he needed to pull together, knowing he could go to her if he needed, that some one understood and listened. Burying his head in the crook of his arm he wiped off the tears he had hidden and then looked to her.

"Some one was there," he was remembering pieces. Or thinking he was. "We were..." He trailed off shaking his head. "I'm sorry. You wanna get out of here?" He placed a hand on her arm, squeezing gently.

"It's okay," Anya said. She lightly ran her hand over his, hoping she could guide him through the memories. Either bury them so deeply in his subconscious that they didn't trouble him, or help integrate them into his reality.

Her fingers continued to lightly play over his as she thought. "Is there someplace you would like to go?" She couldn't take him back to the club or her apartment, and she wasn't certain now that going to Horatio's would be the wisest move.

Speed found her fingers playing over his. He hadn't realized she was even touching him at first. Turning his hand to his palm lay upwards he took her hand in his, squeezing gently. "Thanks for being here. Without you I'd just hide and bury all of this, I couldn't face it alone." He stood and ran a hand over his face.

"We can go to my place, it's quiet." And dark. He hadn't realized how much he had missed the darkness until now. Working at night he rarely got to indulge in the quiet runs he used to take.

"Okay," Anya said, squeezing his hand. "Quiet is good." She signaled a passing cab, not wanting to have to walk there. Getting Speed settled into the car, she sat back as the driver was given directions to his home.

She let out a quiet sigh in the dark of the cab, glance straying between Speed and the passing lights. His grateful words only had twisted the knife in her gut. It was partially her fault he felt the desire to bury everything. And what would his reaction be when he came to learn the full truth?

Speed settled back as they made their way to the highway. He stared ahead of him at the back of the cabbies head before tapping his shoulder. "Change of plans, man. Take us back to CSI. I want to get my bike."

He fell back into silence until they arrived. Paying the cabbie with neatly folded bills he got out and lead Anya to his parking space. "Taking a cab to work tonight doesn't sound too tempting." He straddled the small vehicle. It wasn't the kind that sent the driver sprawled out, instead one rode this as if hugging it, bending at the hips to lean forward.

"Very nice." It almost came out as a purr, but Anya caught herself just in time. It wouldn't be good while they were in public to remind him of what he had seen that night. She was debating if she should try to remind him, or just let the memory bubble to the surface or sink into the depths on its own.

Settling on the bike behind him, she pressed her chest to his back and wrapped an arm around his waist for security. She couldn't help but let out a little shiver. Simple physical contact was something that she didn't have much of since Horatio had disappeared, other than the brief touches she and Speed had shared. And with her nose practically pressed to his neck, she couldn't help but inhale his scent. And he smelled very good.

It had been a while since Speed had felt arms around him and a warm body against his. Despite what they had in common, Horatio, he felt something stir inside. Something he thought was hibernating. Feelings for another.

Licking dry lips he set the bike on the road. This time of morning he didn't yet have to worry about traffic and climbed to speeds he usually wouldn't if there were many others sharing the roads with him.

He took to the highways and though the lanes still had running room he slowed to just above the speed limit. He was drawing this encounter out, her grip around him was becoming more welcome. Though he knew they'd part when they arrived.

Coming to his road he slowed in front of his apartment building. He turned the engine off, hand brushing hers as he pocketed the keys.

Anya let out another little shiver at that touch, tempted to lean forward and stay close. But instead she leaned back, releasing her arm from his waist, her hand brushing his flank as she pulled away.

"Nice place," Anya said, trying to take her mind off her body's reaction with simple conversation. She was still missing Horatio, and Speed was her connection to him. Unconsciously she licked her lips as she asked her next question "Have you lived here long?"

"Few months," Speed gestured for her to follow after unlocking the lobby door. "Rent is good considering it's Miami." The chilly morning air quickly erased the warmth she had left his back with before they got inside.

"I'm on the third floor," he pressed the elevator button and stepped in as it dinged open. He grew quiet inside, remembering how nice it felt to be close to someone. Not just physically but emotionally. That's what made him prone to lash out at Miami women, so many spoke of meeting a man like him, so few meant it.

Anya nodded, as they walked into the elevator. Something similar about closeness was going through her mind. Only she was more centered on the physical. It was nice to be near someone who radiated body heat instead of the coolness that was common among vampires. And almost without thinking, she reached out with one hand, fingers lightly brushing over his.

Speed inhaled softly at her touch. Opening his hand he touched her fingers, not quite taking her hand in his but feeling the intricate design of another's hand and fingers next to his. He stepped closer, not sure why or what might happen when the doors dinged open on his floor.

He didn't move at first, finding his feet planted where he stood looking at her. As the doors began to shut he blinked and held out a hand to catch them. He looked back at her, one arm holding the doors open and still unable to move.

Anya stared back, not quite sure what to do next. He wasn't Horatio at all. But he did know her lover, and was her last connection to him. Maybe that was what made her grip his hand tighter.

So without hesitation, she stepped from the elevator, dragging him along behind her. Her decision was made, and she knew now how this evening would end, for good or for ill. "Which one?" she asked simply.

He thought to deny them this act and pull away but already he knew it'd be in vain. They needed each other for the simple fact they both mourned the same thing. When one comforted the body it had the habit to soothe the mind.

And Anya seemed to have made up both their minds.

Digging out his keys he unlocked the door just a few feet away and locked it behind them. He lead her a few yards inside to the den. "No regrets?" He asked, sitting on the futon still holding her hand.

"No regrets," Anya affirmed as she sat down next to him. She reached up with her other hand and lightly stroked along his cheek. "Not now," she said lightly kissing his cheek. She wouldn't lie and say there wouldn't be any tomorrow. But they wouldn't be because of Horatio. It would be because she hadn't been upfront with Speed about what she was like she had been with Horatio.

"And you?" she asked, looking into his eyes. "No regrets?"

"No, not now," he reached up, lightly touching a fingertip to her jaw. He couldn't fathom a regret unless it was if Horatio returned to find his ex lover with Anya... or if he fell in love with this woman.

Drawing close he kissed her lightly on the lips. He squeezed her hand and his other dropped to rub her arm.

Anya nestled closer, letting her arm slip around his waist. She squeezed hand in return before interlacing their fingers. Her kisses however were deeper than his, tongue coming out to lightly caress his lips before delving between them.

She let out a soft whimper at the physical contact. There had been precious little of that since Horatio had disappeared. It would be too easy to close her eyes and pretend that it was him holding her. But She wasn't going to dishonor his memory, or insult Speed, by doing that.

It took a moment for Speed to let go of his inhibitions, to let go and give in to the rising wants and needs and desires to be with her. He pulled back, however slightly, from her deeper kisses. Until after she whimpered, when her body heat finally got the best of him. He gradually returned her attentions instead of just accepting them. He parted his lips more, tangling his tongue with hers whether their lips had yet made full contact or not. Drawing her closer with one arm around her shoulders, the other eventually resting on her hip.

Anya let out a soft moan, almost a purr. But she tried not to, afraid of triggering another memory. Instead she kissed him deeper, hands gripping him tighter. Giving into her desire, she shifted her weight and threw her leg over his lap. the skirt of her dress hiked higher as she straddled his legs and settled against him.

Speed's hand lowered on her thigh as her skirt shifted. Running it up her bare skin and under the skirt he broke the kiss in a moment of surprise from finding nothing beneath her clothes but soft flesh. He moaned, kissing her harder, hand pressing and searching as his other slipped around to her zipper.

Pulling the zipper down he pushed the leather aside between her shoulder blades. He pulled from her lips again, kissing her jaw, the soft skin directly beneath her ear, her neck.

Anya smiled to herself as her fingers started to unbutton his shirt. She pushed the fabric to one side to explore the hot flesh of his chest. Fingers traced every curve of his pectorals, and lightly tweaked his nipples before heading downwards.

Tugging lightly on hairs that she encountered, Anya worked her way down to his jeans. Reaching his fly, she began unbuttoning his jeans, a small and slightly wicked smile on her face. Then teasingly she pulled away from his touch, shrugging her shoulders slightly so the top of her dress fell away.

His breath caught as her hands grazed near his bulge. He inhaled sharply seeing her smile. There was something... animal, feral, inhuman about it. Something familiar about it. He didn't have much time to reflect on that realization before she pulled away and shrugged her dress down to her hips.

It was then he knew how long it had been. Too long. The sight of her sent fire through his extremities to the point of painful need. It was all he could do not to unzip and place her on his cock in two swift movements.

"God, Anya..." He moaned, tracing one finger over the curve of a breast. His heart and breath hitched and then sped.

Anya shivered at the light touch on her flesh. So like, and yet so unlike, her missing lover's. All the need that she had been bottling up surged through her as she lunged forward, pushing him flat against the futon. She managed not to snarl as her mouth took his in a passionate, almost vicious kiss.

She pushed his shirt the rest of the way off, tearing a few seams in the process. And she rubbed her chest against his as their tongues dueled, needing to feel the friction of flesh on flesh.

Friction. Flesh. Nipples. Speed could feel them on his chest. Feel his own against hers. Rubbing, pressing. Oh god. His hand rubbed, pressed into her back, drawing trails down to her hips. Pressing down with his hands cupping her ass, pressing up with his hips. Rubbing. Grinding.

He wasn't going to last long this way. He began pushing and pulling her dress down further. "Anya, pants," he moaned in desperate need.

Anya had an urge to chuckle at the eagerness in his voice. Except that she was feeling it just as strongly. His fingers and flesh were hot against her, making her squirm more against him. Groaning, she pulled away enough from him to undo his fly and jerk down his pants. And when she saw his swollen cock, Anya let out a strangled moan. And she didn't give her next actions a second thought.

Anya dove down and swallowed him almost to the root.

Speed's cry was a split between a moan and a yelp as she took him in. Hands gripped into the futon, heels digging and raising his hips as he arched his spine. He panted a moment before prying one hand loose of it's grip on the futon and lowering it to lay on her head, fingers gently into her hair.

He was desperate to hold back. It was becoming painfully apparent it had been too long. He could feel his climax threatening to overtake him and they hadn't even started yet. He groaned, nearly afraid of what Anya's next moves would bring and yet eyes rolling back in anticipation of just that.

There was a pleased smirk on Anya's face as she bobbed her head. Her lips glided smoothly over his hot flesh, sucking lightly. She kept her movements light and soft, sensing that too much stimulation would end this sooner than she wanted.

After a few lazy ducks of her head, she slowly pulled off of him, making sure her lips made a loud smacking nose. Then she scrambled up is body to plaster herself against him, her mouth taking his in a ferocious kiss.

Gripping her tightly against his chest, Speed pressed with equal animalistic need. Thrusting his tongue past her moist lips and tilting his head. The taste of himself on her tongue drew forth a muffled moan. Reaching down he guided his aching cock between her legs.

Parting her he groaned and broke away with a nip to her lips. Breathing hard he looked up into her eyes as they joined one another, his lips crashing to hers again as their hips met.

Anya backed against him, driving his cock as deeply inside of her body as she could. If she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine it was Horatio beneath her...

She kept her eyes open as she kissed Speed. She didn't want to hurt Speed or dishonor Horatio's memory by pretending something that Speed was someone else. This may have not been full blown love, but it was something a bit more than comfort sex.

Breathing heavily, Anya dragged her nails down his chest as she continued to meet his thrusts. He was hitting all of her right spots, making her writhe above him. She continued to nip at his mouth possessively.

Fingers digging into her ass, Speed thrust into her hard and fast in determination. He was breathing hard with his climax threatening to explode any second. But he wouldn't without her. He nipped back at her, groaning softly now and then.

Horatio briefly crossed his mind. Remembering how desperate their lovemaking had often seemed. Though not like this. A different, urgent kind of sex. While this encounter seemed so Speed knew he'd slow down with her. He was already certain this wouldn't be their first and last time together. They needed one another.

His thrusts became shorter, faster. He was on a razor's edge in holding back. He could feel his balls climbing... "Anyaa..."

Anya held on for all she was worth to him. She let out a soft moan with each of his thrusts, gripping him tighter. "God, Speed," she groaned, working her feet beneath his thighs. Her nails continued to scratch into his chest as she sucked on his lower lip.

And quickly it became too much. She pushed away from Speed so she was sitting bolt upright, drawing him in as deeply as possible. And that quickly became to much. She tilted back her head and let out a sharp cry as she quivered above him.

Speed cried out with her, hips jerking violently. He gripped her hips though there wasn't a need to. He was spent fast though his body relaxed from the climatic high much slower. His breath held at first and then breathing hard as his fingers and legs and spine let go of their tense holds.

He panted, drawing her down to his chest. The sheen of sweat they shared cooling him where she didn't touch.

She lay limply beneath him, one hand softly stroking his back. She was exhausted, and for the moment satiated. And it had been a while since she felt this way.

Remembering the last time that Horatio held her like this, Anya's eyes welled with moisture. She tried to reach up to reassure Speed that what she was feeling wasn't his fault, but wasn't able to keep her tears from falling.

She didn't have to speak for Speed to know what she was going through. It had been too soon. And with Horatio missing, was much more painful. There were questions about missing people that could rarely be answered. With the dead at least one had closure and knowledge of what happened. Laying next to her in the crook of the futon's small frame Speed gathered her to his chest, a hand gently moving a strand of her raven hair from her face.

"I know," he whispered, kissing her temple.

She continued to sob softly, rocking against him. Anya clung to him tightly, a lost kitten, seeking comfort in his embrace. It felt good to be held by a warm body, to hear a heartbeat beneath his chest. To be reminded that she was alive and Speed was too.

Eventually she raised her head and looked up at him, tears still streaking her cheeks. Gently she squeezed her arms around him as she stretched up and kissed him lightly on his mouth.

Speed kissed her gently, running a hand through her hair. Rubbing a thumb over her tear streaks he brushed them away. Untangling himself he wrapped his shirt around her shoulders. "Lets get some tea," he drew her to her feet, enfolding his arms around her and kissing her temple.

Anya nodded, still sniffling as he lead her to the kitchen. Numbly she followed him to the kitchen and sat down on a barstool. She leaned her elbows on the bar and rested her head on her hands. "I'm sorry, Speed," she said. "I didn't mean to break down like that."

"Don't be," Speed brought over a tissue box, laying it next to her elbow as he reached over the bar to rub her shoulder. They both had been needing each other for a while. The only other person who knew what the other went through, was still going through.

"I'm here for you," he caressed her jaw with the back of a finger. Putting the kettle on the stove he took a stool across from her.

Anya leaned heavily on the bar, resting heavily on her elbows. She looked at him with a tired expression. Speed wanted to help bear her burden, but couldn't fully. Not until he accepted what she was, and what had truly happened.

But how could she tell him without a repeat performance? And what would his reaction be when he did accept the truth and discovered he had slept with a werecat? Trying hard not to think of that, she reached over and took his hand and squeezed. "And I'm here for you too." [For as long as you'll let me be.]

Speed stroked her wrist with his thumb in a slow circle. His reverie was interrupted by the whistling of the kettle. Fetching it he poured them both a cup of water with tea bags. Setting them on the bar he put a jar of sugar with them.

"Stay here a while," he couldn't imagine waiting every night at Horatio's house for him, it would cause more grief than he knew how to handle.

'I can't' was on the tip of her tongue, but looking into his eyes, she couldn't force the words past her lips. Although they had just shared a very special and intimate moment, she was in love with Horatio...

... who was most likely dead, never to return. She had to accept that and move on.

Anya took a deep breath and then looked down at the cup of water steaming in front of her. She took a deep breath as she looked back up at him, making her decision. "I'll stay."

---

Speed glanced down at his empty and cold cup of tea. He hadn't really given it much thought until he felt it chill in his palms. How long had they been talking? There had been a mutual silence, one that didn't need filling. Just knowing the other one was still there was enough...

"We both should get some rest," he said softly. They both had jobs to continue at night. Facades to keep up.

Anya nodded. It felt good to be able to speak with someone without having to totally have her guard up. There were still thinks that she couldn't tell Speed, but just being able to unburden herself even slightly was a relief.

"Do you have someplace to be tomorrow night?" There was a guest singer at the club, so it would be an all too rare night off for her. And it was such a comfort to be in Speed's presence, she was loathing the thought of giving it up.

Speed paused before answering, wondering if he'd be able to get off easy missing a shift. Knowing that wasn't possible he finally shook his head. "I'm sorry, I have to go in," he admitted. "But you're welcome to come here."

He got up and rounded the bar. "You can take the bed," he gestured to his room.

A warm feeling went through her at the offer to stay at his place. But Anya arched an eyebrow. From the sounds of it, he wasn't going to be in the bed with her. "And where will you be sleeping?" she asked.

Speed glanced at the futon, the kitchen and den not separated by much. "Out here," on the futon we just made love on. He wasn't sure he would get any sleep now, the guilt clear in his expression.

"Try to get some sleep," he turned, trying to put an end to any thing before it started.

"Speed, wait," Anya said. She reached out and grabbed his wrist, halting any further retreat. She saw the guilt in his eye, and to be honest, she was feeling some herself. But she didn't speak of it. Instead she squeezed his arm lightly. "Stay, please."

Speed avoided her eyes, halted but stood with his back turned and arm out behind him as she held it. He stayed that way several moments. When he did turn there was sorrow on his face, eyes misted in anger and grief. He took a shuddering breath before looking at her hand, holding his wrist.

He looked back up at her. "Horatio..." He whispered, a small shake of his head.

Anya took a deep breath and began. She picked her words cautiously. "I think I know why Horatio disappeared. And I doubt that there will ever be anything you and I can do about it. You see, he caught the attention of a.... secret society. One that's very old and very powerful. And this... group... doesn't like any attention placed on them. So they put him out of the way." She paused to take in his reaction, and give herself a second to think about how to continue telling the tale.

Speed drew up a brow as she chose her words carefully. It didn't sound like a gang... Or mob hit the way she was speaking. And he grew more anxious as the deja vu reared up.

"Anya... Is there a reason you're dancing around?" He didn't realize his hands were white knuckled and gripping the edge of the bed.

"Speed, just hear me out. I know your first reaction is going to be disbelief." Anya took a deep breath and plunged onwards. "There are those legends and powers of darkness that were once believed in and are now dismissed as legend. However, belief or disbelief in their presence doesn't mean that they don't exist. In fact, they prefer that people dismiss them as myth." She took another deep breath. "The group I am referring to are what most people call vampires, Speed."

The growing sense of deja vu kept him from his usual annoyed response as he stared at her, searching her face for some signs of a prank or joke. After a moment, "You're serious?" Well, of course. There were reports of cults who wore specialized false teeth, drank blood, slept during the day. But something told Speed Anya didn't mean these. A flash of memory. Horatio's house. "You've told me this before..."

"Yes, I tried to," Anya said gently. There was a genuine guilt in her voice. "I was angry and I lost my temper and tried to make you believe before you were ready to. You've been repressing the memory of that night since." She squeezed his hand. "Do you remember anything else about that night?" she asked in a slightly worried voice.

He had to think a moment before he remembered what night. Now forced to think about the memories jumbled. They were at Horatio's house... He ended up in the park... some how an animal was involved, did H have a dog they were caring for or... "A cat...?" He narrowed his eyes.

"If I've suppressed as you say then... why?" it was important that he remember though or she wouldn't be asking him to. "Won't I just run" he ran... "again?"

"Because you're remembering. And it helps that now we're...." Anya was about to say lovers, but was that what they were? Friends seemed too impersonal. And yet were they close enough to be considered lovers? "I'm not trying to scare you this time."

Speed squeezed her hand, pulling her close and looking up at her as he wrapped his arms around her middle. He too wondered what they were, caught the pause and hanging word. "I'm not going anywhere, Anya." Holding her close seemed to speed his already pounding heart and despite clammy hands he didn't let in to the growing anxiety.

Anya squeezed his hand. "Do you want me to show you again, Speed?" she asked seriously. Shapeshifting was what started all their problems, ones she didn't want to have to repeat if she could avoid it. "I don't want to frighten you. If you're not ready for this, I can wait until you can accept it."

Speed looked up at her a long moment. She had spoken of vampires. He was never going to accept it as a man of science. And his will was faltering, he could feel himself beginning to shake. "Whatever it is, Anya, you have to show me now," cause the only way to go now was forward.

Anya took a deep breath. "Don't be afraid, Speed. I won't hurt you." She took a step back, holding his eyes with hers. And those dark brown eyes turned a golden amber, the pupil lengthening to a slit as her ears became pointed. A slim muzzle appeared as dark fur sprouted from each of her pores, covering her skin. A long tail flicked into existence as a purr caused by both worry and the urge to reassure Speed filled the room.

Speed's reaction this time was belated and not so hasty as the first. He tilted his head, drawing his feet up on the bed to backpedal with uncertain movements. Tripping at the other end he barely caught himself from falling and froze half laying on his back. He blinked at Anya and a small smirk came to his lips. "You have to be kidding me..." How could he forget cattleman?

Anya's tail twitched as she stepped forward on silent paws. Her forepaws were still hand like, although covered in short black fur. Keeping her claws retracted, she reached out to gently lay her hand on his shoulder. "Speed, it's still me, even though I look different."

Sitting up, Speed now wasn't sure why this had been so traumatic before. They were closer... He trusted her now... Perhaps it was more than that though. Drawing her close his hand hesitated at the feel of her fur between her shoulders. Smooth, silky... And felt something inside. A familiar need that clearly showed in his eyes and the way his hand stroked between her shoulders.

Anya's purr ended in a surprised chirp. "Speed?" she said a little uncertainly. She had expected him to bolt and run again. Or to lash out in defensive fear at her. But these touches felt like a seduction. Which was confirmed by the gleam in his eyes. Her eyes answered that gleam with a flickering of interest. Her tail snaked forward to wrap almost in a prehensile fashion around one wrist. And the tail drew that hand downwards over her back and down to her firm ass.

With her invitation Speed willingly cupped and kneaded a cheek, pulling her onto his lap. This was different to say the least: he found himself tilting his head to kiss her neck but pulled back, paused, and instead inhaled deeply, her fur tickling his nose. Her scent was stronger. Arousing.

"What are you?" he asked, awed by her as much as his arousal of this new Anya. "Did H know...?"

Anya nodded, her ears drooping at the mention of her former lover. "He knew that I'm Bubasti, a kind of werecat. And that I... work for the vampires." She let out a heavy sigh. "He was asking about a murder that was making a lot of the vampires uneasy. And I think that's why he disappeared."

Her nostrils flared slightly. Then her mouth opened slightly as she inhaled. "You... like me like this?" she asked with a bit of surprise.

How deep had H gotten, he wonder. The CSI rarely quit or knew when to let go... Something Speed had tried desperately to live by though it wasn't easy going it alone. He stroked her shoulder as her ears drooped, nodding his head slightly in understanding.

At her question his eyes blinked. "Yes, I-" he paused, eyes locked on her catlike pupils before he looked down her form, still dressed but where once-skin now-fur showed she was definitely feline... His hand in that fur. He didn't know what to say so looked back up at her, hand lifting the back of her shirt, palm splayed on her upper back, fingers exploring the new texture. It had to be animalistic, this draw to her... This need so sudden.

There was less of her to taste unless he wanted a hair ball but her scents and feel and the very sight of her were going straight to his groin, and fast.

Well, the bulge growing between his leg answered her question. She squirmed slightly, feeling her fur rub awkwardly against her clothing. But the squirm had more to do with seeing him so obviously turned on by her feline shape.

Curious how far he would take this attraction, she reached out and stroked his cheek first with a silken paw. Growing bolder, she leaned forward to kiss him, her rougher tongue stroking over his.

Speed parted his lips willingly, though the kiss was hesitant, testing the new boundaries her muzzle represented... And her needle sharp teeth. As their tongues danced, slow at first, he pulled her against his chest. The kiss deepened briefly before breaking where he nuzzled the underside of her jaw and tilted his head, lips nibbling at her sensitive whiskers.

"Do you like..." Well, he knew where they were headed and she knew but he had never thought he'd be asking her what form she preferred sex in... What the differences were. "You this way?" That wasn't the right wording... "I mean... You know."

Anya gave him a slow grin, her fangs being shown in a nonthreatening manner. "Why don't you find out?" she asked as she stretched out next to him on the bed. Her tail playfully lashed against his legs as she twisted onto her side. "And here's a hint. I love to have my ears rubbed." Still smiling, she scooted closer to him and kissed him again.

"Who doesn't?" He kept a serious face at the admission, sitting up and looking at her from ear tips to feet. He reached for her shoes first, freeing her paws from the confines. Straddling her legs he stretched up her body, a hand tracing a pointy ear before finding the softer fur just behind it where the controlling muscles lay.

"Like this?" he smiled, tilting his head to kiss her. Her tongue felt like nothing he could compare it to, rough and slightly grating but it was that texture with the smooth saliva that sent a shiver down his back.

Anya wriggled her toes and stretched them, happy to have the ache of too tight shoes gone. "Yeah," she said, a low rumble sounding. Now that her secret was out, there was no need to repress that instinct now. Her tongue slowly explored his mouth as one paw like hand reached for his shoulder. Her claws just barely dug into his skin as she lightly kneaded kitten-like.

Speed explored her muzzle, the shape and feel new to him but her kiss familiar in style. He massaged behind her ear, fingers scratching through fur and moving down her neck, teasing trigger points in the muscle as he went.

Lifting the hem of her shirt he pulled her up as he helped her out of it, kiss breaking briefly as the material came off. Then his tongue sought out hers again, hands running through the fur down her sides, coming around to tease the underside of her breasts.

Anya's purr grew louder as she thrust her chest forward. Feeling his fingers digging through her fur was an erotic sensation she had practically forgotten. Her kiss deepened as she rolled onto her back and pulled Speed on top of her.

Both hands now wrapped around his back and slowly slid down to his ass. Now her kneading started in earnest. There was a devilish gleam in her eyes as her claws tangled in the seams, and she pulled downwards. The sound of tearing cloth drowned out her purr.

Speeds heart pumped harder at her eagerness. He kissed her hard, tearing the buttons down his shirt open and squirming out of the arms before returning his hands to her body, kneading her breasts gently. Breaking the kiss he straddled her hips, helping her finish his pants and throw the shredded clothes and boxers to the side.

He was slower with her clothing, inching it down her hips, hands exploring each inch of exposed fur until they were discarded off the side of the bed. Eyes roamed over her exposed, feline beauty body. He wondered... And had to see for himself, if her taste was the same... Though he hadn't while she was human, he would...

Spreading her legs he lay between them, drawing a leg over each shoulder.

Speed needed little encouragement. Flicking his tongue against her clit he tasted the barest hint of her. He teased her clit with his lips, feeling her through his smooth and pouty lips before nipping with his teeth. He wasn't going to dive in and give her what she needed right off, he had to work her up, get her squirming before hand.

Toe claws flexing, Anya kneaded the air with her hind feet. He was wet and hot against her flesh. Whimpering, she squirmed, trying to get nearer that talented mouth. "Speed," she moaned as she kicked again. Her tail wrapped around the top of his head, attempting to pull him closer.

Giving into her pleas Speed licked her, parting her and swept his tongue into her folds. Sweet. Addicting. His thumb trailed up her thigh to tease and press against her clit. He kissed her harder, a husky moan pulsing in the air. He attacked her swollen sweet spot, tongue playing over the small slit that would give him want he needed.

Anya writhed and flexed her paws in helpless pleasure. She made a yowling sound that was reminiscent of a cat in heat. Her tail lashed, but not in displeasure. Instead she worked it below speed's body to rub against his groin, wriggling until it had worked down his waistband and was rubbing against his cock.

Speed gripped the bed at the feel of fur between his legs, rubbing him. He pressed against it eagerly, shifting his hips so it rubbed just the right spot.

He alternated now between pumping his tongue in slow strokes to swallow her and pressing it firmly, bathing her sweet spot with it. He pressed her clit, on and off. Teasing her but maintaining enough pressure to send jolts through her.

He was very good at this. Too good for Anya to resist. Breathing heavily as she wiggled her hips, her hand/paws gripped the sheets below her, claws tearing parallel slits in them. Her head tilted back and her tail stiffened as she let out an unearthly yowl of pleasure.

Panting and shuddering, she lowered herself back to the mattress. Slowly the slit pupil eyes opened and she reached down to cup his face. Her claws lightly scratched the back of his skull as she tilted his head upwards, indicating she'd had enough.

Speed leaned his jaw on her thigh, taking the moment to center himself. Nuzzling her navel as he crawled up next to her he trailed a path of kisses up her side, feather light on her fur. "Are you..." He trailed off, the absurdity of the question on his mind making him stop. He had been so aroused, had completely forgotten his earlier reserves until now. He had a feeling it'd take more than sleeping together to stop thinking of her as Horatio's.

Anya stretched beneath him, her claws extending and retracting in lazy pleasure. It was rare to find a human who accepted, much less pleasured, this other side of her. And he seemed to enjoy it, or at least until he laid out beside her. Her ears pricked forward as she gently stroked his back at his aborted question. "Am I what, Speed?" she asked.

Speed shook his head though his eyes weren't seeing her as he looked to the past, staring past her shoulder. "Just..." He blinked slowly, eyes seeking hers. "Thinking. Remembering." The feel of fur laid out beside him, teasing his nude flesh with it's tickling softness brought him back from his reverie.

He wondered if H were still out there. And now that he had seen all his truths and beliefs of the world, of science, shattered: what pains or living nightmares was H in. Surely Anya was on his mind. Worrying.

"He's still alive," he whispered mostly to himself though for Anya's ears. He had to be alive. Part of being a csi was intuition, and after that gut feeling there came proving it. But this time he couldn't.

Anya hadn't been thinking of her former lover, until Speed said his name again. For a while she had held out hope that he had survived, but she knew of the relentlessness of the Kindred. But hope had faded with time.

She reached out and stroked the back of one furred finger against his cheek. "He's gone, Speed," she said with an utter certainty. "If he were alive he would have come back to... us by now."

"I can't believe that," Speed moved and pressed his cheek against the finger. Reaching up he took her hand between his, looking down at her hand. "Statistics say he's dead," the word tasted like bile in his throat. He laughed though there was nothing funny or amusing in the tone of it.

"I knew a lot of things, thought I did. Now you come along and," he shrugged his brows. He stroked her furred wrist. There was still a pulse there, he wasn't hallucinating. Was he? He felt precariously balanced between sanity and madness.

"And I throw a monkey-wrench into your your world-view." Anya took a deep breath and her muzzle retracted. Her fur melted away, revealing her dark tattoo encircling her eye. "It's not an uncommon reaction when you find out that the creatures that go bump in the night are all too real."

She gently stroked Speed's cheek with the tips of her fingers. "I wish I had your faith," she said with a mix of jealousy and sorrow in her voice.

Wrapping her in an embrace Speed kissing her temple, running a hand over her hair. He was so sure Horatio was alive... Or was he in denial? And yet he couldn't tell Anya they couldn't do this. That they wouldn't work out. It would devastate Horatio when they found him. If they found him.

"We both have to get up, can you rest?" He wasn't going any where but if they couldn't sleep he wasn't going even going to try.

Anya let out a soft sigh. "No, I can't sleep." She was tired, but true rest was all too fleeting these days. "And I should go. If I'm gone too much longer, it may cause problems." She knew the vampires had been watching her closely, although not as closely when Horatio first disappeared. And she would feel completely guilty if the same thing happened to Speed.

Speed stroked her upper arm, silent. He knew he should let her go. This had happened so fast, there was very real danger, and he still had hopes for Horatio to return... to her. But he propped his head up on a hand. "Don't go," he said softly.

"I have to," Anya said. But she made no move away from Speed. She rested her hand on his, squeezing it. "I want to stay, I really do," she said, trying explain her confused feelings. "If anything were to happen to you..." she trailed off.

Speed squeezed her hand. "I'm not Horatio," he whispered. "From what you've told me H was snooping where he shouldn't have... He didn't know, and wouldn't listen." Speed sighed. "I'll let it go if it means you'll stay." Hard as it would be to let go he couldn't face this alone now.

No, he wasn't Horatio. But that didn't mean that she didn't care for him, if in a slightly different way. Anya let out a heavy sigh. Speed was in it now, as deep as Horatio had been. Perhaps even deeper, if he continued to persist that Horatio was alive and searched for him. And because she cared for him, she would do her damnedest to protect him. "I'll stay," she said.

This was it, he couldn't continue with his guilt. He had to let it go for her. Hard as that would be he had to. Squeezing her hand after her words he sighed. "We'll get through this." Though he wasn't sure how he'd do at work for a while, sleepless nights and science in question now.

He glanced at the bedside clock. Even if they managed to get some sleep it would never be enough, just a few hours. "You want to get out of here...? Or just stay like this."

Anya's eyes glanced at the clock as well. There was no where she wanted to go, no place outside that was truly safe for them to be together in public. "Just stay like this," she said, snuggling closer. Her choice was made, and now she would have to live or die with it.

She reached out and stroked his hair. So young, so full of hope. It was hard to believe she was like that once. "You're not going to give up searching for him, are you?"

"I will do what I can," he replied, kissed her temple. "But if you say I'm going too far, I'll pull back. I promise."

He rested his forehead against hers. "When did we stop believing and start calling you myths, legends and folklore?" And why?

"You haven't believed in us for a long, long time." Anya idly stroked his back, trying to figure out the best way to explain. "Humans have always outnumbered vampires, and after the Inquisition, it was decided that it would be safer for vampires if they became myth and legend. Same with shapeshifters. And with the rise of science and rational thought, it became so much easier."

She kissed his temple. "Remember the reaction you had when I showed you what I was the first time? Your fear? Humans have always had that reaction. We just nurtured it for our protection."

With a sigh Speed nuzzled closer to her. "So now I'm a threat to them, like Horatio." Though not nearly as big of one if it mattered to them. "They've been myths for so long- does one of us knowing matter so much?"

"Yes," she said as she lightly stroked his head. "To most Kindred...vampires, and some of the Changing Breeds, humans are a necessary evil. Necessary for food, for breeding, but evil because of the destruction you are capable of. You can kill a vampire when he's at his most defenseless during the day. You can lay waste to a forest that held a sacred site that the Garou, werewolves, have worshiped at for centuries. And like any prey species, you've always outnumbered the predator by a large margin. If you were to learn as a whole of our existence, and chose to fight back, we'd have no chance," she said with a shrug of slim shoulders. "One tells another who believes, who tells another... and so on and so on until the entire world is aware. Or so the argument goes."

"There are special cases where humans know. But those are people who are under tight control of a vampire master, or are genetic relatives of a Garou or Bastet. Or like us - you find out accidentally and are trying to cope with the knowledge."

"If it means being with you, do what you have to... I'll do what I need to but I don't know what that is," Speed didn't hide the emotion in his vow. He didn't want them to part.

He kissed her hard, the frustration and anxiety that had been building up trying to find a vent with passion. His tongue swept her mouth as he pulled her close with an apologetic noise.

Anya let out a noise somewhere between a purr and a growl. But her hands held onto him tight, keeping him close Humans who just accepted what she was on face value were rare treasures that she didn't willingly let go of. And she had no intention of letting him go.

Nipping at his lips, Anya rolled onto her back, pulling him on her. Long legs wrapped around his waist and locked, not letting him go. Her arms tightened around him as well, making sure he was trapped against her.

Being embraced. He hadn't been held like this for so long. He wasn't going anywhere. Speed held onto her, clung just as tightly. She was anchoring him and helping him through this. One hand slipped behind her neck as he kissed her deeply. The other caressed her thigh as much as held onto it.

He could feel each breath as her chest pressed against his, their rising heart beats nearly in sync. He broke the kiss abruptly to look at her, the need and desire in his gaze where loneliness and heartbreak may have been.

Anya reached up and softly touched his cheek. Her biggest fear was that what happened to Horatio would happen to Speed. And she didn't think that she could handle living through that again.

Instead she clung to him tightly as she pushed that thought out of her head. One hand slid down his back to rest on his ass. Trying to distract them both from their morbid thoughts and fears, she squeezed the muscle firmly.

Speed could see the worry there. And he knew there was very real reason for it. "I'd rather die being with you than living without," he whispered. "I can't go back." He nuzzled her neck, inhaling deeply. He could smell it now. Or thought he could. That wild part of her with fur that smelled of natural perfume.

"I know," Anya said, gently stroking his ass. She arched beneath him, relishing the feel of his lips on her neck without worrying about fangs breaking her skin and sucking the life out of her. Not that she wouldn't mind feeling his lips on her neck...

She let out a soft mewl and stretched against him. "I can't go back either," she whispered in his ear before kissing the lobe.

"We don't have to," he whispered, lips grazing her neck. Raising his head he smiled at her. "We don't have to. I'm here," he felt the loneliness lifted at those words. Two simple words.

He kissed her neck, tongue tracing a path that his teeth soon followed. Gentle love bites against her neck.

Anya let out a soft rumble of a purr, arching against him. Her fingers kneaded his ass as she smiled at his words. Eventually they would have to leave this place and return to their real lives. But not now and not any time soon.

Whimpering softly, she arched her legs and locked them around his waist. "Please," she pleaded in a whisper.

There was something to her mewls, the way she stretched, bringing a side of him out he hadn't known. His love bites become more aggressive, teeth biting slightly harder but not coming close to breaking the skin. Lifting his hips he slipped inside of her, guided himself into her slowly until their hips danced together.

Anya let out a cry, arching up to draw him into deeper. Her legs tightened around him even tighter, making it hard for him to move. In a way she didn't want him to move. Because if he moved, it would be over.

But at the same time she wouldn't feel the pleasure if he didn't move. Slowly she loosened her grip on him as she arched into his biting kisses.

Speed understood her need, her want, to hold him with in her. For that moment all he felt was her tight walls trembling. "We have forever," he whispered a promise as she loosened her grip. He moved his hips, slipping in and out in a slow rhythm.

In and out. He moaned, biting her ear lobe and tugging.

It was a romantic platitude, but Anya wasn't about to point that out. The only way that they would have forever was if they became one of the undead vampires she served. And that was a fate she hoped to spare both Speed and herself.

Or so she would have said if she Speed hadn't been causing her such pleasure. Softly she drew her nails across his back as she let out a soft feline yowl.

Those primal feline sounds were what caused Speed the greatest waves of ecstasy as he moved in and out, nibbling her neck. They were sounds he strove to draw out as often as possible. Angling his hips he didn't pump faster so much as harder, aiming for the swollen nubbin inside her which each stroke.

She arched up beneath him, Anya's cry taking on the tone of a cat in heat. Each rub of him against her hit the one spot that always sent her to a place of ecstasy. Her nails dug into his flesh as she quaked in pleasure. Her arms and legs tightened on him, not wanting him to move away.

Speed gasped as he came, burying himself deep with a final, hard push. Trembling, he lay against Anya. Buried within her his cock softened, nestled within her walls. Kissing her neck softly he breathed heavily as he came down from his climax.

Anya gently stroked her lover's head. "You know," she said, looking over at the window. "I need to get some sleep, and it's almost dawn. It will be pointless for me to go home until after dawn. Besides," she added with a mischievous smile. "You've worn me out."

Speed kissed her softly before disengaging to lay beside her, arm about her possessively. "Sleep," he sighed in contentment. "But you do not need to go home, stay... if you can," his tone of voice betrayed his hope that she would.

Anya gently stroked his cheek. "I wish I could," she said sadly. "But the longer I'm gone, the more suspicious the people I work for will become. And I don't want you to disappear the way..." She couldn't say Horatio's name. "The way he did."

He looked up into her eyes. "If this is the only way... I'm not going any where." If their days together were spent by long times apart he'd see it through. Those times apart could only make their meetings the more sweet.

He laid his head down to listen to her beating heart, letting his eyes close again.

Anya gently stroked his hair. She hated the idea that their relationship would bring danger. She could face what could happen to her, but the thought of what could happen to Speed made her blood run cold.

But that would be a worry for another night. For the moment, she was content to rest with him for a few more minutes. And then it would be back to the real world.

---

He hadn't seen her for weeks. Long days at work were taking their toll. But finally a break- this night he'd break free. He just hoped she'd be able to get away as well.

Glancing up he caught sight of someone he hadn't seen for months. The red hair was a give away. He froze. Nearly forgot what his hands were doing until the clink of glass on metal drew him back to reality. He finished his task and met Raymond in the hall.

"Someone called me," Raymond jumped straight to it. "Horatio was found on the streets... he's at Kendall Hospital."

She had just finished her second set of the night when one of the human stage hands gave her a folded slip of paper. Anya looked down at the words printed on it, disbelieving.

Horatio. Kenda