Title: Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash #11 - #15
Author: Lycanthrophile (lycanthrophile@imadethis.org) and KMS! (kmspider@aol.com)
Fandom: The X-Files
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Officially they belong to TenThirteen Productions and the Fox Network.
Rating: NC17 for male/male sex
Summary: These are the ongoing adventures of two chatroom admins and various and sundry residents. Names have been changed to protect the (not so) innocent.
Word Count: N/A
Archive: Please inform me


Keeping Your Boys On A Short Leash 11
By Lycanthrophile
(lycanthrophile@imadethis.org)

"Welcome back, boys. So did you find any witches on your trip down the rabbit hole?"

"What do you mean you found no sign of Phoebe Green, Diana Fowley, or Marita Covarrubias? I said witches, Alex, not bitches."

"When did you two switch outfits?"

"You did too! I distinctly remember Mulder wearing the bunny suit and Alex wearing the fedora. Although I must admit, I am impressed by your 'human hatrack' trick, Mulder"

"Wait a minute... where's Jeffery? Don't tell me you left him in the hole! Oh god! Ferretboy's going to kill me!"

"The rabbit hole has a side tunnel that leads to the Ferretcage? Thank goodness. But that still doesn't tell me what you did in that hole for a week, aside from fluffing each other's cottontails."

"The three of you tunneled under the AD's Office? Whatever for?"

"Alex wants the motorcycle back, so you were going to ride it back here through the tunnel? First of all, you're not allowed to ride it in The Rathole, second, I won't have that thing leaking oil all over the bunny now that I got it cleaned off, and third, wouldn't it have been easier just to ask Skinner if you could borrow it? Or you could have traded it for a plate of Muldercock(tm) Cookies."

"Okay, so where is it?"

"You miscalculated and dug the tunnel under something else? What did you boys do now?"

"You tunneled upwards and ended up beneath Walter's desk and it fell through?

We just got him a new desk to replace the one you two ruined!"

"You and Alex will fix it? After watching you two do home repair the last time, the only power tool I'm letting you boys near is a battery powered dildo. And even then, I'm going to remove the batteries!"

Keeping Your Boys On A Short Leash 12
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

"So what else did you see down the 'Rabbit Hole', Bunny Boys?" "Cancerman?"

"What was he doing down there?"

"Sitting on a mushroom, and smoking from a bong?" "Uh, right. Are you two sure that he didn't' *share* whatever he was smoking with you?"

"And Fowley was there? What do you mean she had petals around her head? She was a fawning flower? And brainless, too? Well, that goes without saying."

"Okay, so you're not running a fever. What else did you see?" "A full tea party in progress? Who was there, the Queen of England?" "I am not being snide. Okay, maybe a little. So who *was* there? Byers in a big hat? Frohicke hiding in a teapot? And Langly said he was the March Hare? Uh, did you happen to take *their* temperatures? Alex, you didn't taint Mulder's water supply with LSD again, did you?"

"Oh, my God! How the hell did you convince Jeffrey to wear that blue pinafore? This is a scream! Who's he supposed to be? Alice? Who's Alice? Like in Wonderland? Do me a favor and burn this picture. Ferretboy will kill me if he finds out you've been playing dress-up with Jeffrey and put him in a blond wig. No wonder he went straight back to the Ferretcage. He was probably dying of embarrassment."

"Scully was the Queen of Hearts? I'll bet she really liked that! It serves you right that she ran around yelling 'Off with their heads', Alex. Kind of makes you even for the 'Burn the witch' chant you had going last week."

"So who was the White Rabbit? Mulder, you had the outfit on when you left."

"I bet it *is* hard to run in those size 30 bunny feet! But you still have your head, so I'm guessing that Scully didn't catch you."

"So what were you, Alex? The Cheshire Cat? That seems appropriate. I'll bet the only thing you were wearing was a grin. And I'd bet that it wasn't the last thing to disappear, either."

And who was Tweedledum and Tweedledee? Phoebe Green and Marita Covarrubias?

"And all this happened before you decided to 'liberate' the Harley from Skinner's office? I'd be careful. I don't want him to come back here with any more of those darn... you-know-whats."

"We don't want another incident with you know who."

"That was for the bunny, Alex."

"My mistake, Harvey. I meant the *other* rabbit." "So did Skinner catch you messing with his desk?" "He ran you off? What do you mean he was dressed like the Black Knight?" "How the hell did Skinner get a horse in his office?" "Oh. That's why you didn't get the motorcycle. He was using it as his trusty steed when he ran you off."

"When you tunneled under his desk, I'm surprised that you didn't just sneak under and give him a blowjob to distract him?"

"Welcome to the Rathole."


Keeping Your Boys On A Short Leash 13
By Lycanthrophile
lycanthrophile@imadethis.org

(Thanx to Araxdelan for the story idea!)

"So why are you boys now wearing hardhats with lights on them?"

"You're going back down the hole? Whatever for?"

"You're going to probe one of the side tunnels for buried treasure? Alex! The only probing for buried treasure you've done is in Mulder's ass!"

"No, you cannot put the bunny in a cage and take him with you like miner's did canaries. We don't want to get the... you-know-who... to get mad."

"Okay, go on, but be careful. And remember Mulder, those ropes are meant for climbing gear, not for bondage games. We only play those at home."

"Welcome back, Mulder. Did you and Alex find the treasure?"

"You did? What did you find? Gold? Jewels? My old David Cassity poster?"

"My god, Mulder! *They* are the *treasure*? Where did all these clones come from? And how are we going to tell them apart from the original Alex?"

"The clones have cotton tails? Why do they have tails?"

"The witches changed the bunnies into Krycekclones but kept the tails so you'd have an excuse to fluff them." "As if you'd need an excuse to 'fluff' their tails."

"Alex, don't look so jealous. You know Mulder's insatiable. Anyway, look on the bright side. When Fowley tells you to go fuck yourself, you can smile knowingly."

Welcome to the Rathole!
Grab a clone and make yourself comfortable!


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 14
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

"What the devil are you two up to?"

"What do you mean you're running a genetic experiment on some of the clones?"

"Mulder, you can't build DNA like it was an erector set. Or in your case, Leggos."

"So, what are you trying to make?"

"How the hell did you get turkey feathers on him instead of a fluffy bunny tail?"

"You know, there is a gobble-gobble joke in there somewhere."

"Oh no. Not in my kitchen! Mulder! Alex! No!"

"He'll never straighten out those feathers again."

"Skinner, what are you doing here?"

"Mulder. Alex. Stop him!"

"What the..."

"So that's what happened to the blue pinafore. Good job, Jeffrey!"

Welcome to the Rathole.
Happy Thanksgiving.


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 15
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

"Well, boys, you've finally done it this time. We've been banned from Dalnet. For life. Now what are we going to do?"

"Alex, you've tried to go down there and talk to him. He's just not buying what you're selling this time. Sorry, dear heart. I know you tried."

"Mulder, I've seen your skills as a carpenter. There is just no way to rebuild the Chatroom here after you and Alex left the Bunsen Burner on and torched the kitchen. We're just lucky to have gotten all the clones out of there before we lost everything. By the way, Alex, could you have a chat with them about fire safety? They are not supposed to lay on the floor and wait for the big, strapping firemen to come in and carry them out. Or steal the firemen's' hats afterwards. I think a few of them got their tails singed."

"And you're going to have to tell them that they can't keep that one fireman. Fireman Joe will have to go home eventually."

"And next time, Mulder, don't put Kool-Aid in the fire extinguishers. Thank god I managed to save the recipe for the Muldercock(tm) cookies."

"Also... Alex, if we ever have a fire again, I want you to promise not to teach the clones how to roast wieners on an open flame. No, marshmallows are not a good idea either."

"What's this? You found us a new home? We're not going to be holding our chats out on the streets?"

"Walter H. Hopgood. He's our new landlord?"

"Hmmm. You don't think he's related to the BKCs do you? With a name like Hopgood?"

"My god, Mulder, its beautiful! Look at all the room!"

"And look! Ferretboy and Jeffrey are moving in next door. And there's Skinner just down the street with his new Turkey Krycek Clone. It's just perfect. We can put the couch there, and the coffee table there. And, oh my, I think we might have enough room for a Sunday Night Post Episode Chat. Wouldn't it look just lovely sitting in that alcove? And the cage can go over there. And we can put up some hooks to hang your spurs and chaps on."

"No holes in the walls! No pits in the floor! No tunnels! My word, I've gone to Remodeling Heaven."

Welcome to the NEW Rathole
Please watch out for the moving boxes.
And... Has anyone seen that white fluffy bunny around here anywhere?