Title: Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash #21 - #25
Author: Lycanthrophile (lycanthrophile@imadethis.org), KMS! (kmspider@aol.com) and Drovar (drovar@alltel.net)
Fandom: The X-Files
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Officially they belong to TenThirteen Productions and the Fox Network.
Rating: NC17 for male/male sex
Summary: These are the ongoing adventures of two chatroom admins and various and sundry residents. Names have been changed to protect the (not so) innocent.
Word Count: N/A
Archive: Please inform me


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 21
By lycanthrophile
lycanthrophile@imadethis.org

It has come to the Mistress's and Mistress-In-Training's attention that several people are not aware of what constitutes normal behavior and care for a BKC. Below is information that every BKC owner should be aware of.

Bunny Krycek Clones (Rattus Traitorus Leporidae)

Physical Conformation:
Bunny Krycek Clones do not physically differ from the Pre-Tunguska Alex Krycek except in one important area - they have fluffy tails. While adorable, it does make getting into skin tight jeans/leather pants difficult. While letting them run around au naturel is visually appealing during the summer months, it can be very chilly during the winter, given their lack of body hair. Therefore we recommend any clothing be altered by placing a hole in the seat in the pants (size of the hole is to be determined by the owner). Or, if you wish for easier access to the BKC's ass... er, I mean assets, use chaps to keep his legs warm.

Feeding Habits:
As mentioned earlier in previous posts, BKC's are partial to chocolate, and prefer See's. They are also known to raid the refrigerator at any given hour. The only place a BKC will not show this behavior is at Mulder's apartment, but whether this is an instinctive knowledge that anything found in Mulder's refrigerator would likely not be edible is not known. They will eat almost anything (or anyone), and also have a fondness for vegetables and other foods that can double as sex toys - see Mating Habits.

Mating Habits:
BKC's are known to, well, screw like bunnies. Their lives are spent in a perpetual heat, making them willing to do the nasty the drop of a hat, or boxer shorts. Although some experts claim that Mulder is this species true mate, BKC's have been known to mate (both willingly and coerced) with Skinner, Spender, Pendrell, the occasional Scully, the even rarer Cigarette Smoking Man (Nicotiana horribilus), and on even rarer occasions any series crossover character or original character that wanders by. The BKC is also well known for taking on multiple partners at one mating session, inventive use of foods in their mating rituals, and this is the only time that they can be restrained without trying to fight their way free. Although some encounters appear violent (especially between Mulder/BKC and Skinner/BKC) , this is considered normal. We do recommend that any mating be supervised (for fanfic inspiration purposes, of course) and that plenty of lube be kept on hand to prevent any injuries. Also, don't be afraid of administering a little (consenting) discipline. Your BKC will thank you for it.


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 22
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

Further Krycek Bunny Clone handling instructions:

Chatter1--- Hey, there's a listing under Krycek Bunny Clone that says there will be: free rabies, nail trim and anal sac cleaning.
Mistress--- If your Krycek Bunny Clone jumps back and forth in front of you or tugs on your pants leg, he wants to play. If he dances around, chuckling and dooking and bouncing off the walls, he's having fun.
* Chatter2--- snickers
Chatter1--- Dooking?
Mistress--- Dooking. It's a sound Krycek Bunny Clones make.
Mistress--- Yes, Krycek Bunny Clones are plenty smart enough to learn to sit up, turn around, roll over.
Chatter1--- And when you scratch their bellies, they giggle.
Mistress--- One very good trick to teach your Krycek Bunny Clone is to come when you make a particular noise.
Chatter2--- LOL
Mistress--- Drying a wiggly, dripping Krycek Bunny Clone can be a lot of fun.
Chatter1--- But be careful where you allow them to place their wet noses.
Mistress--- I find it's easiest to keep the Krycek Bunny Clone in a towel at chest-level, holding his head and torso in one hand while drying him with the other. Wearing a terry bathrobe is helpful here, too. You could also put your Krycek Bunny Clone on the floor in a towel and rub him dry.
Mistress--- Immediately after a bath, many Krycek Bunny Clones pretty much go nuts, thrashing and bouncing from side to side and rubbing against everything in sight.
Mistress--- Just imagine your house in a shambles with one excited Krycek Bunny Clone, two- dogs and a hubby on the edge of a stroke.
Chatter1--- And so does the guy in the terrycloth robe when the Krycek Bunny Clone rips it off his body.
Mistress--- Flicking the Krycek Bunny Clone's nose while his teeth are on you is a pretty common form of discipline.
Chatter1--- And so is spanking his bare bottom.
Chatter3--- I was informed that Krycek Bunny Clones are not rodents, but related to weasels.
Mistress--- Indeed they are


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 23
By lycanthrophile
lycanthrophile@imadethis.org

Mistress-In-Training steps into the Rathole carrying a large box full of Valentine's Day decorations.

"Hello boys. Did Walter Hopgood stop by and drop off the bot?"

"Yeah, a bot. Something I thought could help out around here with the manual labor."

"Oops? Mulder, what do you mean 'oops?' What did you do?"

"You thought it was a stereo and put the Kill Switch CD in it? Oh god, where is it now?"

Mistress-In-Training walks over to a pile covered by a tiger-striped blanket. Alex removes the blanket with a theatrical flourish and reveals the inert bot.

Mistress-In-Training sighs. "Oh well. I guess we can turn it into some sort of modern art sculpture. I got the Valentine's Day decorations out of storage. While you boys put them up, I'll start making some Muldercock (TM) cookies."

"Why is the chemistry lab set in the kitchen? Have you two been manipulating the KBC's DNA again? What did you do this time?"

"You already started decorating? What do you mean?"

Two KBC's wander by at that moment. In addition to the fluffy bunny tail, they also sport a pair of large white wings.

"Oh, those swan wings look lovely on the KBC's. Positively angelic."

"Alex, what do you mean they aren't swan wings?"

"You had to do genetic splicing with what bird DNA you had on hand? What bird DNA did we have?"

"Goose?!? Not the goose-down comforter! Don't tell me you ripped it apart! I just finished paying it off!"

Mistress-In-Training opens the bedroom door to find everything covered in goose-down. Two unwinged KBC's tossing handfuls of goose-down in the air and watching it fall like snow. Mistress-In-Training covers her eyes and shakes her head.


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 24
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

Mistress glances around the room and realizes the entire chat room is now covered with goose feathers that have escaped from the bedroom

"When are you boys planning on cleaning up in here? If I try to make cookies, we're going to have goosedown in them."

"In the closet, Mulder. You stuck the vacuum behind the Christmas decorations." [Mistress mutters to herself.] "Probably hoping to never see it again, no doubt."

Mistress sighs as Mulder chases a few Krycek Bunny Clones around the room with the vacuum, forcing them to cower under the couch.

"Mulder! Stop torturing those poor clones and finish cleaning up."

Mistress notices that more feathers continue to fall from above and looks up, surprised to find that the two KBCs with wings are hanging from harnesses from the ceiling. Mistress stands below them, craning her neck to get a good look at them.

"What are you two doing up there? What's that in your hands? Bows and arrows? Alex hung you up there and said you were cupids?"

Mistress watches as the ëcupidsí wiggle and kick.

"Mulder, stop trying to suck their toes into the vacuum!"

"Alex, how long have you had those clones up there? Well, yes, they probably *are* used to wearing harnesses, but they shouldn't be up there indefinitely and Valentineís Day is a long time away."

Mistress ducks as an arrow narrowly misses her and hits Mulder in the butt.

"Mulder, are you okay? Well, I told you to stop teasing them! Now turn around and let me see."

Mistress examines the small bruised spot on Mulderís left cheek. Then she picks up the arrow and fingers the blunt rubber tip.

"I don't think there will be too big a bruise, dear. You'll be fine. Now finish cleaning up."

"Mulder, I think you should shut off the vacuum and empty the bag. Now. Mulder? Mulder!"

The bag explodes with a bang and feathers burst forth, covering the chat room again. A small troop of pink-tailed (pink-tailed? How did that happen? Mistress sighs and reminds herself to hide the Chemistry set.) KBCs break into squeals and giggles, jumping on Mulder and pulling him below eyesight and into the fogbank of feathers.

Above them, the winged KBCs laugh and try to ping them with arrows.


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 25
By
Drovar
drovar@alltel.net

Ferretboy looks around #The_Ferretcage mystified. It was empty, and very much minus one sexy FBI guy. Not even the giggles of a gaggle of Krycek Bunny Clones being chased gave away his location... that *was* strange.

Ferretboy pokes his head into #The_Rathole, the most likely place for Jeffrey to be unless he was off lurking in the Due South chat room again. He was known to grab a handy Turnbull clone and sneak off for hours.

Ferretboy spots Jeffrey talking to three oddly dressed Krycek Bunny Clones, *Well the fact that they're dressed is odd enough.*

"Jeffrey what's going on here? And where are Mistress and Mistress-In-Training?"

"A revolution? You staged a revolution? You annexed #The_Rathole?"

Ferretboy takes a leaflet from a KBC, suddenly realizing the clone is in an FBI suit just like Jeffrey's.

"Welcome to #The_Rathole" a wholly owned subsidiary of #The_Ferretcage. Today #The_Rathole, tomorrow Squidge.org."

"Well yes, it *does* have a nice ring to it, but really I don't think Mistress and Mistress-In-Training are going to like this one bit."

"You sedated them? Good Goose and Gravy!"

"Oh, with a box of See's chocolates, okay, but still."

"And why do the Krycek Bunny Clones have signs around their necks?"

Ferretboy reads one, trying to hold the giggling clone still long enough. "KFC?"

"Ahh, Krycek *Ferret* Clone, that explains the suits, the ferret makeup and the paste-on whiskers."

"Uhh Jeffrey how much did these suits cost? Yes, I see that you made holes for the tails. That's very considerate. Yes, and easy for fluffing too, and the clip on ferret tails are a nice touch. But, how much?"

"Less than the posters? What posters?"

Ferretboy looks around the room and suddenly sees that every wall is covered by enormous posters showing a smiling Jeffrey in front of a gently waving flag. The legend underneath reads 'Jeffrey for Everything.'

"Yes, they're wonderful. Striking. Yes, it *is* an election year, but they really, really aren't going to like this."

"How did you pay for... Wait, have you been selling 'Alex Coupons' again?"

"Yes, I know they're good for 'one free ride' and... Mulder and Skinner bought them all? Why am I not surprised? Still that doesn't explain... What do you mean you *broke* the VISA??!!"

Suddenly Ferretboy freezes, hearing the sound of approaching footsteps and Mistress' voices.

"Mistress-In-Training, did you find Alex, Mulder and Skinner?"

"Someone sent them a box of very naughty valentines, Mistress."

"They were reading them?"

"Reenacting them, Mistress."

"Of course...[*sigh*] Have you seen the KBCs lately?"

In a wild panic, Ferretboy shoves a squealing Jeffrey into the tunnel (hidden behind the couch) leading back to #The_Ferretcage, grabs the suits (with curiously easy-break-away pants, hmmm) and temporary whiskers from the KBCs; pulls down the posters (stopping long enough to sigh wistfully); and dives into the tunnel just as Mistress and Mistress-In-Training step into the room.

"There they are... everything looks okay... Why am I surprised? Ummm... Mistress-in-training?"

"Yes?"

"Why are the KBCs wearing ferret-tails?"

Welcome to #The_Rathole, and don't mind the whip sounds from the other room.