Title: Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash #26 - #30
Author: Lycanthrophile (lycanthrophile@imadethis.org) and KMS! (kmspider@aol.com)
Fandom: The X-Files
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Officially they belong to TenThirteen Productions and the Fox Network.
Rating: NC17 for male/male sex
Summary: These are the ongoing adventures of two chatroom admins and various and sundry residents. Names have been changed to protect the (not so) innocent.
Word Count: N/A
Archive: Please inform me


Keeping Your Boys On A Short Leash 26
by lycanthrophile
lycanthrophile@imadethis.org

Mistress-In-Training looks around the back to 'normal' Rathole.

"No, Mulder, I'm not mad you, Alex, and Walter ran off to re-enact those X-rated valentines. I'm just mad the video camera ran out of tape when things were beginning to get interesting."

"No, Alex, we are not retaliating against #the_Ferretcage. Ferreboy's assured me that he's going to keep a closer eye on Jeffrey's ass in the future. Although I wouldn't be surprised if a hand didn't join it. He said he would give Jeffrey a spanking but for some reason, Jeff didn't seem too upset by the idea."

"So what are you boys doing for Valentine's day?"

"Spending all day in bed? Why am I not surprised? And what about the clones?"

"The clones will be reading love sonnets as you two do the nasty. How romantic. And the winged clones?"

"They'll be scattering rose petals and wafting exotic perfumes with their wings, holding lit candles. Are you sure fire and clones are a good combination?"

"Alex, we haven't been in this new room for too long, there are no holes in the walls and ceiling yet, and I don't want major damage to the building until we've been here for at least a year."

"Yeah, Mulder, you and Alex can go start celebrating while I make some Muldercock (TM) cookies. Just make sure that the video camera has the extended play tape and the wide angle lens!"

Welcome to the Rathole.
Happy Valentine's Day!


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 27
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

[Mistress ducks behind Mulder, who is ducking behind the kitchen counter.]

"All right, tell me again? Who gave *real* arrows to the cupids? Mulder? Alex?"

"It was Jeffrey?"

"Skinner! Get down! I don't care if you are wearing kevlar underwear, they seem to be aiming directly for your butt."

"Well, does anyone know where Ferretboy is? He can take care of Jeffrey unless, of course, Jeff has decided to run off to South America and stage a small coup in the small dictatorship of his choice. Again. I swear, that boy is more like his father every day!"

[Another arrow ricochets off of Skinner's kevlar underwear and impales a Muldercock(tm) cookie against the wall.]

"Alex, now is not the time to be bringing out the naughty valentines that Jeff left for you."

"Ferretboy is going to have to spank Jeff for this. No, Alex, you can't sell tickets."

[An arrow flies by Mistress' head.]

"Alex, can you and Mulder find another time to follow the instructions on the naughty valentines?
We're kind of in the middle of something here!"

"Mulder, I don't think you should pull Skinner into doing those!"

"Walter, I think you should keep the kevlar on."

"Oh, dear. Does it hurt? Mulder, you're going to have to pull that arrow out of Walter's butt. I told you to keep the kevlar on, Walter!"

"Alex, do something about the cupids! We've got to stop this! Company will be showing up any minute!"

[Mistress watches as Alex signals to the Krycek Bunny Clones across the room, darts out, ducking arrows, dives over the couch -- commando style -- finds the rope to the harnesses and cuts it. The cupids give a girly scream, clutching each other as they tumble to the earth, bows and arrows forgotten. A group of pink tailed KBCs leap out and wrestle them to the ground]

"Mulder, help Skinner into the bedroom and bandage his hinny. It doesn't look too bad, but I'm sure it hurts. Mulder, could you wait until later to kiss it better?"

[Mistress walks over and glares down at the jumble of clones, cupids and Alex.]

"You boys are in *such* trouble."

Welcome to the Rathole.
Anyone have any Antiseptic ointment?


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 28
By lycanthrophile
lycanthrophile@imadethis.org

Mistress-In-Training enters the Rathole and heads to the kitchen to make a batch of Muldercock(tm) cookies for the evening's chat and stops short at the sight of an open box marked 'Home Chemistry Set' sitting on the counter.

"Boys! Front and center! Now!" [Points to the box.] "What did you do this time?"

"What makes me think you did something? Because every time I find a chemistry set in your possession, Alex, I find that the Krycek Bunny Clones have new colors or new body parts. So which is it this time?"

"Green tails? You're getting ready for St. Patrick's Day with green tailed Krycek Bunny Clones?"

"Yes, it is a lovely color. The exact shade of Alex's eyes. But when is it going to end? [Sigh.] If I ever get my hands on whoever keeps giving you two chemistry sets...."

"Jeffrey keeps giving them to you? Ferretboy and I are going to have a little talk once he finishes setting things right in the latest South American country Jeff tried to overthrow."

"No, Alex, you can't watch Ferretboy spank Jeffrey. No, no selling tickets either. Anyway, I get the feeling neither of them really consider it a punishment."

"No, Mulder, you do not have the Mexican Flag if you line up three Krycek Bunny Clones. The flag has red in it, not pink. And doesn't it have a winged snake on it as well?"

"No, a Winged Krycek Bunny Clone's trouser snake isn't the same thing, Alex. Speaking of Winged Krycek Bunny Clones, how's Walter's butt?"

"Mulder! He'll heal much faster if you stop getting into bed with him."

"No, Alex, I'm sure Mulder was just being altruistic and concerned for Walter's health." [Pause] "Where are the Winged Krycek Bunny Clones anyway?"

"They ran in terror when they saw you had the chemistry set out? They're now hiding in the closet? I don't blame them, but it does seem like a step backwards."


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 29
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

"So, boys. Saint Patrick's Day is just around the corner and I see you already started to decorate. Did you have to paint *everything* green?

"Tell me again, how *all* the Krycek Bunny Clones turned green? They went down to the river that the city had dyed green and decided to swim? Because they wanted to see if the fish turned green too? [Sigh] Well, yes, that would explain why they are green from the tops of their little heads to the tips of their bunny tails.

"Mulder, I'm not sure you should be wearing your 'Kiss me, I'm Irish' button on that little gold chain around your waist. And where did you find a Leprechaun hat small enough to fit over the head of your cock? You stole it from Alex,s Irish Ken and Barbie set? I didn't know they made a Leprechaun Ken. Besides, I thought Saint Patrick ran all the snakes out of Ireland not put little Leprechaun hats on them. Oh. Poetic License. Got it.

"Where's Alex? Oh, there you are. Ah, if it isn't the boy with green hair! Are you sure you used hair dye and didn't just put too much chlorine in the pool again?

"And Skinner? What's with the toga? You're celebrating the Ides of March? Are you sure you want to do that? I wouldn't trust these Brutus here with any sharp daggers, if you know what I mean

"By the way, how's the butt? Nice Band-Aid there, big boy. Where did you find Band-Aids with green cartoon flying saucers on it? Mulder's medicine chest? I'm not surprised. You're lucky they are green, otherwise you know the boys would be pinching you, and I'm not sure your hinny is completely healed yet.

"Where's Jeffrey? Ferretboy said he'd come by and help me make green Muldercock(tm) and Jeffreycock(tm) cookies, and KrycekPuddingPops(tm)?

"Oh, there you are? Nice Leprechaun outfit. Why are your ears pointed? Oh, you stole them from Mulder's Spock costume so you,d be authentic. Very nice.

"Boys? Why are you all staring at Jeffrey like that? No, you can't catch him and demand that he tell you where he hid his Pot of Gold! No. No! I told you Run, Jeffrey, run!

[Mistress watches as the KBCs take off after a giggling Jeffrey and chase him around the couch, where he suddenly disappears from sight. Jeffrey's Leprechaun hat flies over the couch and a plethora of clones also disappear. Mistress peeks behind the couch to discover a tunnel leading to the Ferretcage, currently filled with squirming clones who are trying to strip Jeffrey naked so they can search him for his Pot of Gold.]

"Boys! That isn't his Pot of Gold, so you can just stop searching him there! Well, I can see that he doesn't seem to mind much, but...

[Mistress, voice is drowned out by the squeals of delight coming from behind the couch. Mulder and Alex suddenly appear with shovels in hand and head for the tunnel.]

"And just where do you think you two are going? The Ferretcage? You think Jeffrey must have hid his Pot of Gold over there? Oh dear. I'd better call Ferretboy before they destroy the place.

[Mistress grabs the phone as everyone but Skinner disappears into the tunnel. She looks over at Skinner.]

"Well, since you're the only one left, Walter, that means you get to make the goodies tonight.

[Mistress watches as Skinner begins to make Cornbeef and Cabbage for tonight's guests. Maybe they won't notice and will decide to skip desert.]

"Welcome to the Rathole.
"Happy St. Paddy's Day


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 30
By
lycanthrophile
lycanthrophile@imadethis.org

"Okay, boys. Help me round up the clones and get them to the bathroom. Time to scrub the green paint off them and the mud off you two. I'm surprised Ferretboy didn't have a heart attack after seeing all those holes you dug in the Ferretcage!"

"Alex, those were not mud wrestling pits! Although, I will pass the idea onto Ferretboy."

"Don't worry, Mulder. I'll make sure everyone gets a turn to drop the soap."

"Yes, we can wash all the KBCs at once. I filled the hot tub with Mr. Bubbles."

[Mistress-In-Training steps back as a herd of KBCs bellyflop into the hot tub. The resulting tidal wave drenches the floor. All the KBCs then look at the Mistress-In-Training with an adorable pouty expression.]

"What do you mean you thought Mr. Bubbles was an actual person? Look, the sooner we get this done, the sooner everyone gets Muldercock (TM) cookies."

[The KBCs, eager for the treat, begin to scrub the paint from their bodies, checking between each finger, toe, and crevice.]

"Go easy, you don't want to drown someone because you're over-enthusiastic."

"No, Mulder, you can't blow bubbles in the hot tub. Besides, none of the clones are named Bubbles."

"Everybody out of the tub and over to the shower to rinse off. Man, am I going to have to have a hard time explaining our hot water bill for this month to the Mistress."

"Walter, be careful! The floor's really slick and I don't want you to..." [Mistress-In-Training winces as Skinner's feet fly out from under him.] "...fall."

"Landed on your hurt hinny? I'm sure Mulder will rub it better."

"Alex, if you're trying to kiss Walter's boo-boo to make the pain go away, you're kissing the wrong side."

[The clones each line up and step into the shower to rinse off. They then step out and are dried off by Alex, Mulder and Walter.]

"Alex! No snapping wet towels at the clones! I don't care how tempting a target they make."

"Mulder, what do you mean we're out of towels since Alex soaked them all? How are we going to get the clones dry without... oh no! No! Don't even think about....!"

[Mistress-In-Training shields her head with her arms as a plethora of clones begin to shake themselves dry, soaking the boys, the walls, and the ceiling.]

Welcome to the Rathole
Anyone Got A Dry Towel Handy?