Title: Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash #31 - #35
Author: Lycanthrophile (lycanthrophile@imadethis.org) and KMS! (kmspider@aol.com)
Fandom: The X-Files
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Officially they belong to TenThirteen Productions and the Fox Network.
Rating: NC17 for male/male sex
Summary: These are the ongoing adventures of two chatroom admins and various and sundry residents. Names have been changed to protect the (not so) innocent.
Word Count: N/A
Archive: Please inform me


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 31
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

[Mistress watches as a group of clones hop by, their butts painted with lines, squiggles, and circles in bright pastel colors.]

"Well, I see someone found the bathtub crayons. What are the markings for?"

"You're getting ready for Easter? And each of you is decorated like an Easter egg?"

"You're planning on hiding in the bushes?"

[Mistress shakes her head and hopes they don't scare any of the neighborhood kids who are simply looking for eggs. On the other hand, it's going to be an interesting hunt for Alex, Mulder, Skinner, and Jeffrey.]

[Muttering to herself.] "I just hope you aren't all too worn out for Easter Dinner."

[Mistress watches as Alex grabs a clone and sits behind him with a crayon.]

"Alex, stop trying to play connect the dots on that clone's hinny!"

[Mulder sits next to Alex and they grab another clone, this one with straight lines on his butt, holding him down between them.]

"Can't you boys find somewhere else to play tic-tac-toe?"

[The giggling clones squirm as Mulder wins another round.]

[Skinner waltzes by and is pulled to the floor by the boys. Ever diminishing circles are painted on him, the bull's eye now sits at the still slightly red mark where he was hit by a stray arrow from the winged KBCs.]

"Alex, you put those darts away this minute! We are not having a repeat of last month's accident."

"By the way, where are the winged KBCs? Nesting? Nesting where?"

"They've built a treehouse?"

[Alex hands Mistress a pair of binoculars and points out the window.]

[In the large tree outside the winged KBCs have built a sturdy platform of wood and have filled it with a sizeable mattress.]

"What in heavens name are they sitting on?"

[Mistress squints through the lens and sees that they appear to be squatting on huge, dinosaur-sized, brightly painted Easter eggs?]

"Where did *those* come from? Nobody knows?"

"I hope they didn't steal those from the Natural Science Museum."

[Mistress watches as one of the eggs begins to rock back and forth and then suddenly cracks open. Suddenly Jeffrey emerges; grinning behind an obviously fake orange duck bill, his body painted completely yellow, and naked as the day he was... er, hatched.]

[The Krycek cupid clones pounce on him, clucking and cooing, and enclosing him in their wings as Jeffrey soaks up the attention.]

"It's going to be a very strange Easter."

"Welcome to the Rathole."
"Hunt Easter Eggs at your own risk."


Keeping Your Boys On A Short Leash 32
by lycanthrophile
lycanthrophile@imadethis.org

"What is this food coloring doing out on the kitchen counter?"

"The KBC's hinneys need some touching up? No Alex. The food coloring is only to be used on the Muldercock(tm) cookies. Besides, do you know how hard it is to get food coloring out of the upholstery? Those bath crayons were bad enough."

"Mulder, don't even think about painting another target on Skinner's butt. We don't want to tempt fate, or the winged KBCs. Speaking of which, where are they?"

"They're still outside nesting? Is Jeffrey still with them?"

"What do you mean they thought it was time he learned to fly? They didn't push him out of the nest. They did??? Oh god! What am I going to tell Ferretboy?"

"He was wearing a safety harness and a parachute? [Sighs in relief.] Wait... please tell me you didn't leave him hanging there?"

"Only for four hours? And you two wonder why Jeffrey only wants to play when Mistress, Ferretboy, or I are around to referee!"

"Anyway, that doesn't say where the winged KBCs are. [Mistress-In-Training looks outside and sees dark clouds in the sky and an abandoned 'nest' in the tree.] "I don't see them outside."

[A peal of thunder crashes. All the KBC's emit girly screams. Half dive for cover under the couch, half stampede to the bedroom to hide under the bed.]

"Mulder, Alex, try to comfort the clones. Mulder, no shaking a sheet of aluminum foil to scare those poor clones more. Alex, no making 'zzzzzttt' sounds like the lightening's going to get them. Just try to coax them from under the furniture."

"Mulder! Poking at the clones with a broomhandle doesn't qualify as 'comforting.' I don't care if the KBCs think it's an oversized dildo!"

[There is a knock on the door. Mistress-In-Training opens it, praying that it's not their landlord with another eviction notice. The two winged KBCs walk into #the_Rathole just as a furious April rain begins to fall.]

Welcome to the Rathole
Our Clones Have The Sense To Come In Out Of The Rain


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 33
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

"Skinner, why are you painted completely blue?"

"You've spent the day calling yourself Papa Smurf and chasing the clones around? Goodness, Walter, you'd think you were old enough to know better."

"What do you mean it's better than what Jeffrey is up to? Where is he?"

[Mistress peers over the heads of a passel of clones who are staring out the window and sees Jeffrey, looking sharp in a dark blue linen suit, directing an army of bare-chested construction workers as they prepare the yard for Easter. A large mechanical crane is used to gently move the giant Easter eggs from the nest of the winged cupid clones, to the ground below, where they are being hidden among the bushes. Mistress notices that one of the eggs has an end that unscrews, letting a KFC (Krycek Ferret Clone) in full FBI suit and detachable clip-on ferret tail emerge and give the thumbs up to the boss, Jeffrey.]

"So that's why Jeff was messing around with the cupids a couple of weeks ago? How did he get all that yellow paint off? It was frosting? And the cupids licked it off? That explains the happy grin on his face."

[Mistress notices that one corner of the yard is now decorated in imitation of Mount Rushmore - except for the bright yellow Peep now sitting next to Teddy Roosevelt.]

"What is that? Mount Peepsmore?"

[Mistress notices that the yard is littered with Peeps. Pink Peeps. Blue Peeps. Yellow Peeps. Lavender Peeps. A Peep on a motorcycle - Peepy Rider. Pirate Peeps with a patch over one eye and riding in a small pirate schooner. Pierced Peeps with gaudy earrings. Peeps stacked to form a pyramid. Peeps wearing sunglasses - PIBs - Peeps in Black - Mulder's addition.]

"Where did all these Peeps come from? Out of the giant Easter eggs? Oh my, we're going to be overrun with Peeps."

[Mistress watches as Mulder appears, wearing a lavender Peep costume, trailed by a small army of lavender Peeps. On the other side of the yard, Alex appears, wearing a similar costume, only in pink, leading a small army of pink Peeps.]

"What are they up to?"

[Suddenly the yard explodes as the Peeps launch into battle, marshmallow exploding everywhere as Mulder and Alex lead the charge. Jeffrey and the workmen disappear, but Jeff swiftly reappears leading an army of yellow Peeps. Inside the clones squeal in terror and hide. Peep carnage overlays everything.]

"It's a Peep War!"

"Skinner, you have to stop this!"

[Walter appears, changed into a blue Peep costume, leading an army of blue Peeps, joining the fray and the battle is waged.]

Welcome to the Rathole.
No Peeping.


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 34
By lycanthrophile
lycanthrophile@imadethis.org

"Where are all the clones?"

"Alex told them to hide out in the yard? Whatever for?"

"Because Mulder convinced them that since their butts were painted like Easter eggs they should be hidden like Easter eggs?"

[Mistress-In-Training looks out the window, wincing at the still evident carnage from the Great Peep War. She spots one of the KBCs 'hiding' under a bush, brightly painted keister in the air. Another is precariously perched on the edge of a birdbath. A third is squatting between two roots of the tree the winged KBC's nest is in.]

"How long have they been out there? Easter's next Sunday! We can't let them stay out there until Sunday!"

"Go out there and find all those clones now!"

[Alex, Mulder, Walter, and Jeffrey run outside and immediately begin to find the hidden clones. They all find sticks and start an impromptu Easter clone roll across the lawn.]

"Be careful! I don't want the clones to get so dizzy they get sick!"

[Eventually all the clones are rounded up and herded back inside, along with several stray Peeps. The boys also roll in the giant Easter eggs. The ends unscrew and reveal two chocolate covered KBCs, strategic areas covered in green plastic Easter grass.]

"The Easter Bunny left them for us? Yummy! Just be sure you don't do any Mike Tyson imitations."

Welcome to the Rathole
Happy Easter


Keeping Your Boys On a Short Leash 35
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

[Mistress looks about the yard, seeing the tattered sign, barely hanging by one lone nail, waving gently in the cool breeze.]

Come one, Come all,
To The First Annual
Krycek Bunny Clone Easter Egg Hunt
Finder's Keepers, Loser's Weepers.

"Boys, when are you going to go out and clean up the yard]"

"Well, someone needs to pick up the rubber remains from the Condom Water Balloon Toss." [Mistress remembers Easter as if it were... yesterday:]

[Walter winning the Wheelbarrow Race hands down, his ankles held aloft by a KBC. Mulder, Alex and Jeffrey trailing behind the finish line after him.]

[KBCs bobbing for Peeps, as the yellow marshmallow confections dissolved slowly in the water, brightly painted butts in the air. Alex unable to resist and pinching them at every opportunity.]

[New Mistresses and Masters checking out which clones they wanted to find in the Easter Egg Hunt while the clones watches 'Easter Parade' on cable.]

[And the Easter Egg Hunt! The clones giggling and hiding among the bushes, pastel painted butts barely visible among the greenery.]

"Alex, did you have to turn on the sprinklers? The lawn really didn't need watering yesterday."

[Mistress remembers those KBCs getting wet, stripes and circles and squiggly lines getting washed away until pink butts were easily visible beneath every hedge.]

"And I still want to know who threw the first mud pie. I'll be cleaning out the Rathole for ages."

"And just where did you get horses for the pony rides?"

"No, Jeffrey, the lawn did not need to get fertilized."

"It would have been nice if you hadn't spooked the horses, Mulder. I don't think we'll ever get all the stickers out of the clones' butts when they were bucked off and landed in the blackberry bushes."

"And next year, no jousting! There is no way you should have been bringing lances to an Easter Egg Hunt!"

"Jeffrey, I didn't know you knew how to do trick riding, but next time could you not try to build a pyramid of clones on the backs of the horses? We had to wash and wash them to get the dirt off when they fell into the mud puddle."

"And, Mulder? Is your tummy feeling better? I told you not to stuff yourself with jelly beans. I don't care if you were pretending to be Dr. Who and offering everyone Jelly Babies."

"I want you boys to go over the yard. I do not want to find rotten Easter Eggs six months from now."

"And, Alex. Next year we *will* boil *all* the eggs! I'm not going to have you start an Egg Toss game with raw eggs again. It serves you right that the clones decided to break all those eggs over your head. Besides, I hear its good for your hair. By the way, you might want to wash it again, I think I see a little bit of yoke behind your ear."

[Mistress grabs her raspberry flavored ice tea and kicks back in the lawn chair, watching as she puts the boys to work on the lawn. She tries not to think about where the huge Easter Bunny footprints came from. Best not to think of that now.]

Welcome to the Rathole
Hope the Easter Bunny left you what you wanted.