Title: Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash #46 - #50
Author: Lycanthrophile (lycanthrophile@imadethis.org) and KMS! ()
Fandom: The X-Files
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Officially they belong to TenThirteen Productions and the Fox Network.
Rating: NC17 for male/male sex
Summary: These are the ongoing adventures of two chatroom admins and various and sundry residents. Names have been changed to protect the (not so) innocent.
Word Count: N/A
Archive: Please inform me


Keeping Your Boys on a Short Leash 46
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

"Alright, boys, where is Mistress-in-Training? She was in charge of tonight's chat and I haven't seen her all day. The Muldercock(tm) Cookies haven't even been made!"

"Kidnapped? How? When? Why?"

"You received a ransom note? Let me see. They want $45.63 and a new Slip and Slide in exchange for her? What kind of kidnappers would want $45.63 and a Slip and Slide?"

"Wait a minute. Why is this written in crayon? And why does that amount seem so familiar? Alex, isn't that the amount you needed for a new set of inline skates?"

"Alright. Give it up, boys. What have you done with Mistress-in-Training?"

[KBCs' shoulders droop and Alex sadly points out the window.]

[In the Winged Krycek Bunny Clone's nest is Mistress-in-Training, laughing and gleefully being held captive and being tickled by feathers.]

"So, tell me why you need a new Slip and Slide?"

[Alex points again and Mistress sees that the old one has been taken over by the neighborhood children.]

"Why didn't you just ask for it back?"

"Walter lost it in a bet?"

"What happened to all the money you earned in Vegas?"

[All the KBCs pull out silly hats and place them on their heads.]

"Oh. You needed them so your noses wouldn't burn. I see. And you didn't think Walter would lose."

"What was the bet?"

"The Slip and Slide for a video of the 'Phantom Menace?'"

"What did you have to do?"

"You bet you could spit watermelon seeds farther? You should have let Mulder do the spitting. You all know he's the one with the oral fixation."

[Mistress glances out the window one more time.]

"Well, it doesn't look like she's coming down too soon. That means you're all on restriction and Walter and Alex have to make the Muldercock(tm) Cookies. The rest of you can get the place together for tonight's chat."

[Sigh]

Welcome to the Rathole
Anyone want to buy a clone?

"Alex, you are not selling any clones so that you can buy your skates!!! Take that sidebar off!"

"..."

Welcome to the Rathole
[sidebar deleted at the request of the Management.]


Keeping Your Boys On A Short Leash 47
by lycanthrophile
lycanthrophile@imadethis.org

"Okay boys, I heard from the Mistress about Alex's little kidnapping attempt. As much as I appreciated the time alone being tickled by the Winged Krycek Bunny Clones, that wasn't nice. Especially not leaving a ladder for me to get out of the nest."

"No, I didn't enjoy being flown out of the tree. The Winged KBC's accidentally let go of me mid-flight."

"Yes, Walter. I appreciated your manly attempt to catch me. I hope I didn't hurt your back too badly. I told you not to carry me back into the Rathole. Especially with the clones still trying to tickle me."

"So how much was my ransom?"

"I'm *only* worth $43.65?!?"

"And a Slip and Slide?!?"

"I don't know if I should be insulted or relieved that it was so low. Why that specific amount?"

"Alex wanted new inline skates? That boy is hard to handle already. If he gets those skates, he'll be hell on wheels!"

[Mistress-In-Training jumps back as Alex goes zooming by on the skates, grabbing the silly hat off the head of the closest KBC. He's towing Jeffrey on a skateboard, who's grinning like a maniac.]

"Alex! Jeffrey! You two better be able to get those tire tracks out of the carpet!" [Sigh] "I should send whoever paid the ransom a thank you fic. Who paid it?"

"What do you mean 'no one,' Mulder?"

"Alex found the money for both his skates and the Slip and Slide in the couch? But that wasn't his first idea to raise money? What was his other idea?"

"He was going to sell the clones?!? Thank goodness the Mistress put an end to that idea."

"What's this bill?"

"You had to get the clone's teeth fixed after Walter and Alex's batch of Muldercock(tm) cookies came out hard as rocks? That's it! None of you are allowed in the kitchen anymore!"

Welcome to the Rathole
Eat The Muldercock(tm) Cookies Only If You Have Dental Insurance


Keeping Your Boys On A Short Leash 48
by lycanthrophile
lycanthrophile@imadethis.org

"Boys, I need your help moving some boxes. I've lost my webspace, and I have to store the files for All Things Rat, The Slipper Archive, and my personal homepage here."

"Mulder, be careful with that box labeled 'Phyre.' She's been writing some pretty hot stuff lately and I wouldn't want you to get burned."

"Alex, what are you doing with the box marked MSR?"

"You step away from that shredder, young man! I wrote that when I started writing fanfic and it's going on my home page."

"No, Walter, those two stories marked 'Spenderfic' belong here. One's for the homepage, ones for ATR."

"Alex, careful lifting Josan's box. She's been writing a lot of heavy stuff lately, and I don't want you to injure your back."

"Don't worry, Mulder, I'll find space for it all. Just keep the KBCs from hitting the play button on all the sounds at once."

"Alex, stop whining. Jeffrey's over at #the_ferretcage helping Ferretboy do the same thing we're doing here. We're lucky he's going to rent me space cheap for the archives."

"Alex! You weren't so upset about sharing space with Jeffrey when I wrote Wistful II."

"Mulder! Don't give the KBCs the box marked 'Works In Progress.' I don't want them to get into it..."

[As the Mistress-In-Training looks on horrified, the Krycek Bunny Clones open the box and start strewing papers around the room.]

Welcome to the Rathole!
New URLs soon to come for All Things Rat and The Slipper Archive (and maybe a fic if I can get these pages back in order)


Keeping Your Boys On A Short Leash 49
by lycanthrophile
lycanthrophile@imadethis.org

"Boys, be careful of that medical equipment. My grandma broke her hip, and I have to take it home with me in useable condition."

"Mulder, you and Alex stay off the bed! I don't want you jumping on it, or doing any thing else on it."

"Oh, you were going to be lazy and use the fact that it has a remote control that will make it go up and down. Sorry boys, still can't let you do it."

"Walter, get those ties off the walker. It's not to be used for clothing."

"No, you don't use it like a lion tamer's chair with the clones either."

"Jeffrey, get out of the wheelchair! You are not going to use it to race Alex on his rollerblades. No demolition derbies either!"

"Mulder! Alex! Quit wrapping Walter up with the bandages! I knew I shouldn't have let you watch that ancient Egypt special on The Discovery Channel."

"Wait a minute! Get that off your head! Alright, who told the KBCs that the bedpan was a hat?"

Welcome to the Rathole!
Be thankful I didn't bring any hospital instruments with me.


Keeping Your Boys on A Short Leash 50
By
KMS!
kmspider@aol.com

[Mistress attempts to enter The Rathole and has to push and push and push the door until it finally opens wide enough to allow entry.]

"What is going on here?"

"Why are there so many hospital beds in here?"

"Why are the KBCs wearing nurse's uniforms?"

"Walter threw out his back carrying book-length stories for the new archive?"

"Jeffrey ran over Mulder's toes when he had a box of short stories on his skateboard?"

"Alex turned his ankle when he tried to jump a box of long stories with his rollarblades?"

"So what happened to Jeffrey? He's in bed too."

"Oh. Nothing. He just likes it when Ferretboy brings him books and flowers in bed."

"So, you've all been laid up the whole week I've been on vacation? And you're letting the KBCs act as your nurses? I see."

"Where's Grandma? Mistress-in-Training said Grandma would be staying with us for awhile."

[Mistress follows the boys' pointing digits and sees Grandma, surrounded by KBCs and pieces of nurse's uniforms, shuffling a deck of cards.]

"Grandma! You aren't supposed to teach the clones how to play strip poker!!!"

Welcome to the Rathole.
Did you know that there's a 'Walter's Wiggles' at Zion National Park?