Title: Loup Garou III - Confessions
Author: Lycanthrophile (lycanthrophile@imadethis.org)
Fandom: The X-Files
Spoilers: Season 3
Disclaimer: Dana Scully, Fox Mulder,and all other X-Files regulars belong to TenThirteen Productions. No copyright infringement intended. Jessica Leahs and any other characters you haven't heard of before, are copyrighted to me.
Rating: NC17 for male/female sex, language
Summary: Confession to Jess have unintended results
Word Count: 3,201
Archive: Please inform me


I walk to the ground floor apartment set back in the complex in San Jose. Exactly why I chose to come here I'm not certain. All I know is that I need a friend now. Especially now.

I knock on the door. A woman, not much younger than myself answers it. "Scully," she said, using Mulder's habit of addressing me. "I didn't know you were in town. Come in." The surprise was plain on her face. "What are you doing here?"

I take a deep breath. "I needed to talk to someone about Mulder. Someone who understands."

Jess Leahs nods. She is an enigma. Mulder's friend, and by extension of her feelings for him, mine. Ex-lover of the man who I love and who does not know. Confidant of something she shrewdly guessed in a moment of stress. And werewolf, or so she says. Aside from that single delusion, she is as normally mental functioning as the next person. Maybe even more so.

As I move to the couch, I look at the surroundings. Typical two bedroom apartment. Her adopted little girl is sitting in front of the TV, absorbed in some inane show. The blond child looks up and smiles at me. "Hi, Miss Scully." I smile back.

"Lindy, why don't you go get ready for bed." As the child leaves the room, Jess turns to me. "Need a place to stay tonight?" she guesses.

"Please." I don't want to go and face the lonely motel room. I didn't want to face Mulder tonight.

"You can have my bed. I'll sack out in Lindy's room." She leaves the room to make arrangements. That was typical of Jess. Giving her best when she didn't have to. I would have been content with the couch. "Make yourself comfortable. Hot water's just finished boiling."

While I wait, I make myself some tea to try to calm myself. It isn't easy. The words from our fight still ring in my ears.

I'm so concentrated on the memory, I don't notice Jess reenter the room. "Scully?" she says softly. I startle, dropping the cup I'm holding. It shatters into a million pieces.

Just like my life.

"Goddammit!" I scream in frustration. The sisters at my parochial school would have never tolerated me swearing. They taught me to control my emotions. But I'm not in school anymore. I let go of the tight rein I always keep myself on. I start to sob like a child.

"Scully, it's okay." Jess puts an arm around my shoulder and guides me back to the couch. She puts a box of Kleenex into my lap, handing me one of the tissues. "Let me get that." She disappears into the kitchenette and cleans up the mess. She returns to sit in the chair opposite of me. "Now, what's wrong?" She hands me a second cup of tea. I could smell the hot chocolate she fixed for herself.

I put the cup down on the coffee table between us. "Mulder and I were out here investigating an 'alien abduction.' A young woman went missing and then returned abruptly, claiming to have spent that time in space. A microchip was found embedded in her neck."

Jess nods. "Go on." She takes a sip of her drink.

"Mulder and I started arguing over who put the implant there. Not too many people outside the Bureau know this, but I went missing for a time also."

Give Jess the facts and she comes logical conclusions or spookily close inferences. "And someone also put a microchip in your neck?"

"Yes." I look down at the wadded Kleenex I'm clutching. "And things haven't been the same between us since."

"Was this before or after I met you?"

"After."

"And you still haven't told him about how you feel?"

Tears start to fill my eyes. "I was going to. But he's been more distant lately. I thought it was possible that he loved me the way I love him, but now I don't know."

"So what does that have to do with right now?"

"Mulder wants me to go back to DC and let him finish the investigation alone. I told him that this was as much my case as his. Technically, he's the supervisor of the X-Files and I'm under him. So he pulled rank on me."

"Stupid," Jess whispered. "Then what?"

I shake my head. "We had a fight. I said some things about his beliefs and how they are usually unfounded in science."

Jess nodded. "And he...?"

"Told me unless I followed his orders, when we got back to DC, he was going to ask for me to be reassigned." I sigh. "I just turned around and left."

"He said *what*?" Jess's voice grew louder with each word. "I can't *believe* he would pull some bone headed shitty trick like that. No wonder you're upset."

I pull inward. "I can't face going to the motel, knowing he's one room over tonight."

Jess smiled. "Like I said, you can crash here. Do you want anything to eat?"

"No. I just want to sleep."

"Okay, let's get you set up."

Something in Jess is a nurturer. She leads me to her bedroom and got the things she'd need, fussing over me all the while. As she slid the drawer to her bed stand open, I notice a few foil wrapped packages inside. "I'm not ruining any plans you had for tonight?"

She looks at me blankly for a moment. "Oh, the condoms. No, I'm not sleeping with anyone, but they're there just in case. There's a spare robe and gown behind the door and an unused toothbrush in the medicine cabinet. Feel free to use them or anything else you need. I'll see you in the morning. Good night."

"Good night Jess." I close the door after her. I go through the motions of getting ready for bed, although I know that sleep will be a long time in coming. Just as I ready to turn out the lights, I hear the knock at Jess's door.

I hear her cross the room and open it. "Mulder! What are you doing here?"

I wrap her flannel robe around myself. I open my door a crack. Yes, Mulder is standing there, looking miserable. "Jess, I've really done it this time. Can I come in?"

Jess glances in my direction, but lets him in. "What happened Mulder?"

"I drove her away. She was the best thing in my life. I tried to protect her and I drove her away." Mulder sits down on the couch and buries his head in his hands. He doesn't know I'm here. All he was doing was going to a friend for some comfort. And he and I knew that was all he'd get out of Jess. She had made it clear that friendship was all she wanted from Mulder. She didn't regret their past, she just knew it could never be the way it once was between them.

Jess looks in my direction while his eyes are covered. She knows I am on the other side of the door, watching. Her unspoken question was clear - what the hell do I do now?

I stick my head out of the doorway. Mulder's back is to me so there is no chance he can see me. I'm not here. Keep him talking, I mouth to her.

Jess looks back to Mulder and kneels beside him. She put a hand on his shoulder. "Mulder what happened?"

Mulder shakes his head. "I overreacted to something and pulled rank. She protested. I wanted to tell her that I was scared for her. I wanted to tell her I love her. Instead I threatened her."

Jess asks another question, but I don't hear her. All I can hear is Mulder saying 'I love her.'

Mulder is answering Jess. "I threatened to have her pulled from the X-Files completely. I thought that she knew it was an empty threat. I couldn't live without her."

She rubs his shoulders lightly, trying to comfort him. "Then why haven't you told her?"

"Because how could someone as wonderful as Dana Scully fall in love with a messed up schmuck like me?"

"Mulder, you are not a schmuck," Jess smiled. "You may be a paranoid twit that smells conspiracy in every little event, but you are *not* a schmuck. Go find her. Apologize. Confess your love."

Mulder looks more and more miserable by the moment. "I want to, but I don't know where to start looking. She could be anywhere."

I can wait no longer. I open the door. "I'm right here, Mulder."

Mulder turns and sees me there. Jess quietly mutters, "I'll give you two some time alone," and retreats to Lindy's bedroom.

Mulder stares at me, stunned. "H...how long have you been standing there?"

"The whole time."

"You heard everything?"

"Everything." I walk around to stand in front of him. "Why didn't you tell me, Mulder?"

Mulder swallows hard. "I wanted to, but if I did, everything would have changed between us. I know that you can't share the feelings that I have for you. But I couldn't lose you." He looks deep into my eyes. "I love you."

I kneel beside him and place a hand on his cheek. "Do you know how long I've been wanting for you to say that?" Tears spill from my eyes. "I love you too, Mulder."

Mulder looks at me with disbelief in his eyes. Obviously that wans't the answer he expected. One hand caresses the one on his cheek. It slides down my arm and around to my shoulderblade. With a gentle pressure, he urges me forward.

I don't need to be encouraged. I slide forward onto his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. My eyes shut as I lean forward and kiss his full lips.

Oh God! His mouth is so wet and hot, his lips so soft. They part slightly, allowing me to slip my tongue in and out against the velvet of his. I have dreamed of this for so long, but reality surpasses the dream.

Mulder whimpers and his arms tighten around me. I open my eyes to gaze on him. His eyes are shut tightly. His skin is flushed. And I can feel him beneath me hardening.

He pulls away first, breaking the kiss to take a deep breath. "Scully," he huskily whispers before lunging for me again. He presses me back against the cushions of the couch, slipping his hands under my gown.

"Not here," I whisper. As much as I want Mulder, I'm not to eager to have sex in Jess's home. "Back at the motel?"

Mulder nods. I rise and grab my coat and purse. We hurry from Jess's to one of the parked cars and pull away hurriedly. I feel like a giddy teenager sneaking out to meet the boyfriend that my parents don't approve of. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he drives. He is still flushed, still breathing hard, and is gripping the wheel so hard his knuckles are turning white. I've never seen him aroused around me.

Because of me.

At the first red light, he caresses my knee. His hand slips under my coat to graze my thigh. And then he laughs.

"What?" I ask, not certain what is so humorous about my legs.

"Do you realize," he chokes out around the giggles, "that you didn't change clothes when we left Jess's?"

I snicker as I realize what he said was true. I was still wrapped in the robe and gown under my trenchcoat. We are still laughing when we pull into the motel parking lot.

We practically run to the room. Mulder fumbles in his pocket for the key. His hand trembles as he unlocks the door. He finally manages to get it open. He sweeps me over the threshold, kicking the door closed behind him.

Mulder eases the coat off me, leaving me dressed in the robe and gown. He lays me down on the bed. I pull him down on top of me, unbuttoning his shirt. "Scully," he moans and tongues my ear. And then he abruptly stops. He backs away from me like a wounded animal.

I'm puzzled. "Mulder, what?"

He swallows. "I, uh," he stammers, "just remembered, um, don't have anything with me. I wasn't expecting...," he trails off.

I smile. "I do." For some reason, when I first heard Mulder's voice at Jess's door, I had pocketed a few of those condoms Jess kept in that drawer. Well, she had said to feel free to use to whatever I needed.

And I really need this.

I pull the packages from the pocket of the robe. He stares at me. "Just when I think I have you figured out," he murmurs, stroking my cheek.

Our hands start feverishly plucking at our clothing. Now naked, we twist and wind about each other, lost in sensation. Our hands and lips explore each other with infinte tenderness.

He pulls away. I gasp at the loss of contact and open my eyes. He has pulled backwards onto his knees and is offering me one of the condoms.

I smile and sit up. Yes, I'll put that on you. But not before I put something else on first.

I flip forward and take his proud erection into my mouth. He yelps at the unexpected sensation of my tongue massaging him. He bucks forward, trying to be gentle, but needing to feel me desperately. He makes soft little grunts with each thrust that presses him deeper into my hot mouth. I feel my dampness increase at his sounds of pleasure.

Mulder is quickly nearing climax. His hands go to my cheeks and lift my head from his body. "Please, together?" he whispers huskily.

"Yesss," I purr. God, I *don't* purr. Not me, the Ice Queen. But now I do because it feels right.

The way it feels when I'm with him. Not when were butting heads over some of his spaced out theories about the X-Files, but when were just together, talking and sharing.

I gently roll the condom onto him. He then pushes me over backwards, lowering his body onto mine. His tongue travels from my lips to my breast. He gently takes my swollen nipple into his mouth, nibbling and sucking.

I cry out wordlessly and press upwards against him. In response he trails a hand through my pubic hair and lightly strokes my clitoris. Again I arch against Mulder, begging silently for him to enter me.

He lifted up from my breast, smiling in heated anticipation. I return the smile as he scoots back up to kiss my mouth. I feel him slowly spread my legs and lower himself against my waiting wetness.

I feel the head of his cock enter me. And then more than the head.

We both moan simultaneously. It's an overwhelming sensation, one I've been waiting for ever since I first met him. We hold still momentarily, unable to believe the fantasy has become reality.

I move my hips slightly. He realizes that I'm granting him permission and begins to thrust gently, slowly. I urge him faster and faster with my hands and voice.

He responds. Oh God, does he respond. I can feel my orgasm about to begin. "Mulder," I moan.

"Scully," he responds. He senses how close I am to coming and slows the tempo. I whimper.

He grins and then speeds back up. I feel myself begin to dissolve from the pleasure he was inflicting. My muscles begin to tighten and spasm. "Mulder."

The feeling of my reaction to my orgasm pushes Mulder over the edge. He tenses and pushes into me roughly but pleasantly, losing the tenuous grip he had on his control. Once. Twice. Thrice.

He screams my name as he comes.

He collapses against me shuddering. I am shuddering also, unable to believe what we just did, but by no means regretting it. We lay still for a few moments and then he withdraws.

No words pass between us. We smile and share a long look filled with contentment and love. What just happened was inevitable, destined since the day we first met in that basement office. I wonder why I fought it off so long.

Mulder nuzzled down between my neck and shoulder, his arms still around me. I nuzzle him back feeling his body relax. I stroke his shoulders, feeling drowsy. I lean my head against his close my eyes.


I wake up to the sound of two voices softly talking. One Mulder's. "Sorry about showing up at your place like that last night."

"'S'okay." Jess's voice is the other. I don't want to interrupt them, so I keep my eyes closed. "I take it you two finally admitted how you felt about each other?"

"Yeah, and I think I'm going to kill you for not telling me Scully was behind me the whole time."

Jess laughs. "Would you have said those things if I did?"

"No."

"Then kill me for trying to see my friends happy. I guess it's a capital offense now." Her voice grows quieter. "Listen, I'd better go. Take good care of her, Mulder, and yourself."

"I will," is his soft reply. I hear the door close. I feel the bed sink under his weight as he lays down beside me. A palm gently strokes my cheek.

I smile and open my eyes. He is hovering above me, smiling, but with a hint of fear in his eyes. Fear that I will reject him even now.

I smile back and pull his head to mine. I feel the tension wash out of his shoulders as I kiss him. "Good morning," I whisper when the kiss ends. "What did Jess want?"

"She brought back your clothes and took hers." He grins at me lopsidedly. "Do you listen in on all my conversations?"

"Well, you did think I was sent to spy on you when we first met. So why disappoint you?"

Mulder laughs. It is good to hear him laugh. He does it so little. But he becomes serious quickly. "I want to appologize for pulling rank on you. And threatening to send you away."

I wrap my arms around him tighter. "Forgiven. But even though you know that I love you, don't expect me to change my beliefs about the X-Files. Or take any dominant male / submissive female crap you try to pull."

Mulder's arms tighten around me. "Deal." He sighs. "What do we do now?"

"I think we have two options. Pretend last night didn't happen."

"That's not an option," he growls.

"Or be careful when we go back to DC. We can keep it hidden, for now. We are, after all, trained for the FBI."

He nuzzles my neck. "It's going to be hard to keep my feelings for you hidden from now on, knowing you feel the same way."

I kiss his hair. "We can do it, Mulder. I love you."

"I love you too, Scully."

And we get out of bed to greet the day. Together.

The End