Title: Loup Garou IV - Life Mates
Author: Lycanthrophile (lycanthrophile@imadethis.org)
Fandom: X-Files
Originally Posted; December 1996
Spoilers: Season 4
Disclaimer: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Alex Krycek, and
Cancerman, and any other XF regulars mentioned in passing
belong to TenThirteen Productions. No copyright
infringement intended to any of TenThirteen Production's
property. Jess Leahs, Lindy Leahs, Michael Leahs, Annie
Leahs, Alpha Wolf and the various generic MIB's are mine
however, but I am willing to share if asked nicely.
Rating: NC17 for male/female sex, language, violence
Summary: This picks up right after Loup Garou - The Kindred
left off. Read it first and then this. Krycek faces his
past and tries to make amends. Mulder has to deal with the
fact that Jess had disregarded his wishes. And Jess has to
find a balance between the man she once loved and the man
she now loves. Season 4 spoilers.
Word Count: 28,920
Notes: Feedback is always appreciated, and in fact
encouraged.
Loup Garou I - the
Kindred was written well in advance of Season 4's
Tunguska/Terma. I have chosen to adapt around those
events, so any inaccuracies with the first story are
probably intentional.
"People love who they love, and it doesn't have to make
sense to the people on the outside."
- Jerry Springer
"We're not angels, Akasha; we are not gods. To be human,
that's what most of us long for. It is the human which has
become myth to us."
- Lestat, "The Queen of the Damned," Anne Rice
Jess stepped off the airplane with a sigh. [Home, sweet
home, with earthquakes, drive by shootings, and smog. God!
It feels good to be back in San Jose.]
A short blonde child streaked towards her. "Jessie!" she
screamed.
"Hey, Lindy!" She knelt down and hugged the little girl
tightly. "I can't tell you how much I've missed you."
"And how about me?" a male voice asked. A six foot brown
haired man that bore a striking resemblance to Jess stood
nearby.
Jess grinned up at her brother. "Missed you about the same
as always, Michael, not much."
"Very funny, sis. Let's get your luggage. Are you sure you
want to spend the night at my place? Not that Annie and I
don't want you too, we just thought that you'd want to get
home as soon as possible."
"I just need to be around you, Annie, and Lindy for a day
or two." Jess's voice took on a sad tone. "I've got a lot
to tell you all."
Scully looked up from her paperwork to stare at Mulder
staring at the wall. They were filling out the report forms
from their latest case. Her partner was
uncharacteristically quiet, not trying to convince her of
the correctness of his werewolf theories. He was trying to
absorb all that had happened in the last few days.
"Mulder?"
He looked at her. "Yes, Scully?"
"You're upset. Do you want to talk about it?"
"I had him, Scully," he started softly. "I had him and I
could have finally have gotten revenge for my father and
information to use against the Consortium. And I just let
him go." The frustration was growing plainer in his voice.
"Mulder, you didn't just... ."
"I just let him go," he repeated louder. He slammed his
fists against the desk. "Damn it, Scully. I let him go
because my best friend had to go and fall in love with Alex
Krycek, of all people."
"Mulder, Jess didn't intend to get involved with anyone,
let alone Krycek. She's miserable over it too." She decided
it was time to break one of their unspoken rules - no
touching at work. She got up to move behind his chair.
Scully massaged Mulder's tight shoulder muscles. "And you
did the right thing. If you killed Krycek, or hurt him,
Jess wouldn't have forgiven you."
Mulder sighed and leaned back into her massage. "You're
right. But the next time I see Krycek, I may not be so
forgiving."
"Neither will I. But first we have to find him."
"Jess, what you've just told us, it's incredible," Annie
said. "And you haven't seen this Alex since?"
Jess, Annie and Michael were sitting in the living room of
her brother's house. It was late at night and Lindy was in
bed.
"No, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad
thing." Jess sighed. "And I have no idea what I'm going to
do."
"Do?" Michael's voice had a shade of disbelief. "You love
him. He obviously loves you. You'll eventually find him, or
he'll find his way to you."
"It's not that simple," Jess began. "I owe Mulder... ."
"Jess, listen to me," Annie interrupted. "You don't owe
Mulder shit. You don't have to choose to tell him anything.
You helped him with the murder case. That's all you owed
him. You don't have to carry out his personal plan of
vengeance."
"She's right, sis. You have don't have to tell Mulder when
Alex shows up."
"If," Jess said pessimistically.
"When."
"Yeah," Annie said. "My husband, the hopelessly romantic
vet, is usually right about these things."
"I'll hopeless romantic you, you pediatrician. Jess,
sometimes I think you told us about being a werewolf just
so that you could have medical treatment in whatever form
you happen to be in. Oh, I just remembered. I found
something the other day that I thought you might want."
Michael picked up a black jewelry case from where it had
been resting on the coffee table. He tossed it in her
general direction.
Jess plucked it out of the air with a casual grace. "Still
testing my reflexes, Mikey?" She opened the box. A shocked
look passed over her features. "Where did you find it?"
"Up in the attic. I was searching for some school books and
stumbled across it. Since Dad didn't let you keep any of
Rachel's things, I thought you might want it."
Jess pulled the ornate silver cross out of the box. "I
thought Rachel was buried wearing it. How did you get it?"
She slipped the chain around her neck.
"Mom took it off just after the funeral. She was saving it
for you, but Dad didn't want anything of Rachel's left to
remind him. It was in one of the boxes of things you sent
me to check after they died. And don't stab yourself with
it," he added. "It *is* pure silver."
"Thanks. And I may be depressed about Alex, but I'm not
suicidal," Jess laughed. "Do you really think we'll find
each other?" she asked wistfully.
Michael looked hard at his younger sister. [I haven't seen
her this lonely since Rachel died.] "Yeah, sis, the two of
you will."
Annie chimed in. "Of course, Jess. After all, wolves mate
for life."
Lindy couldn't sleep. She was with Jess, and everything was
safe and secure. Back home for two months, life had gotten
back to normal for the two of them, as normal as it can be
for an adult and a juvenile werewolf. Everything should
have been fine.
But it wasn't.
Jess had tried hard not to let her grief and loneliness
show, but the little girl could see it when Jess thought
she wasn't being watched. She wasn't eating as much, she
wasn't sleeping well, and her normally pale skin was even
more pallid.
A thought crossed her mind. Her mind powers were starting
to develop. Jess could send thought messages and she could
receive them. Her ability to send and to sense thoughts
that weren't broadcasted wasn't so good, yet. Though her
powers were weak and behaved erratically, she could easily
sense strong emotions. And Jess's were very strong. [Maybe
then I can help her feel better.]
In fact, she could sense Jess remembering something with
fondness and longing at this moment. [Maybe if I try hard
enough, I'll actually be able to see what she's
remembering.] Lindy hadn't tried it before on her own, and
she wanted to show off to Jess. [Maybe that will cheer her
up.]
She sat up in bed and got comfortable. Her cat jumped down
from the bed where it had been sleeping. She started to
narrow her focus down to the woman in the other room. Jess
emotions were washing over and intertwining with hers so
that Lindy had a hard time remembering that she was the
observer, not the experiencer.
[Yes!] The mental image came slowly into focus. If Jess
realized her mind was being probed, she gave no sign of it.
She was lost in the memory of her and a man together in
bed. Naked, she was moaning and guiding his head down her
body. He started kissing and touching between her... .
Lindy screamed. Jess was in her room in a heartbeat.
~Lindy, what are you doing?~ "Are you okay? You shouldn't
try that without letting me know."
"You let him touch you like that?" Lindy asked shivering.
~How could you?~ She remembered how *he* had touched her
like that. She hated and feared the smoldering look in
*his* eye that would appear before *he* started to... .
~Lindy,~ she mindspoke softly. She sat down on the bed.
"The man who hurt you was sick. He twisted something that
is a normal and beautiful act into something perverted. Sex
between two consenting adults, like me and Alex, can be an
expression of love."
"But, but you enjoyed it. Whenever *he* did me, it hurt."
"There is a bit of a physical size difference between you
and me. And I was relaxed and not fighting it. In fact I
was encouraging him to touch me. On the other hand, you
didn't want anything to do with *him*. No one had any right
to do what *he* did to you." Jess paused and looked at her
sideways. "You know, we've talked about your abuse. We've
talked about having sex, AIDS, VD, and pregnancy. But we've
never talked about making love, though."
"What's the difference?"
"Having sex is the actual physical act, no emotions or
merely lust and a greedy longing for pleasure attached.
Making love however involves the deeper emotions, the
affection, the trust, the love. I could have sex anytime I
wanted to. But there are only two men I have made love to.
And only one I could now," she in an undertone, almost as
an afterthought.
"Is that Alex?" At Jess's nod, she asked the question she
had been preying on her mind. "Is he gonna come here?" The
fear was plain in Lindy's voice.
[Ah, here we go.] "I don't know sweetheart." She stroked
Lindy's hair. "But if he does come here, things may change
some. But two things won't - I'll always love you and
protect you. I'll always do my damnedest to keep *anyone*
from hurting you."
"Even Alex?" Lindy sounded scared. "He won't want to..."
"Even Alex," Jess said firmly. "Not all men are sick like
*he* was. Remember Mr. Mulder? And what about Michael? They
haven't tried to do anything to you, right?"
"Yeah," Lindy said hesitantly.
"Well, neither will Alex. If he does show up, he and I
might be sharing my room. But he won't ever hurt you the
way that sick man did. And if he does," Jess pulled Lindy's
head against her chest, "you tell me right away, and I'll
make sure he doesn't hurt you ever again." ~I promise.~
They lay together in the darkness of her bedroom. Scully
was absorbed in her lover's motions. He was gently
exploring her body with his tongue and fingers. She could
feel his hot hardness growing against the tops her thighs
and slowly, teasingly moving in between them.
The phone rang. "Shit. Not now," her lover said. He backed
away as she reached for the bedside phone.
"Scully." She paused. "What? When did this happen!" She
listened for a few moments more. "Yes, thank you for
informing me." She hung up the phone. "Your cell phone will
go off in a few seconds."
"No it won't. I shut it off." Mulder grinned at her. "I
didn't want us to be interrupted, for all the good that
did. So what's so important?"
"That was Skinner's office. They relieved a call from the
jail where the man who calls himself Alpha Wolf was being
held. A guard went into solitary to check on the man you
shot defending Jess. He were found an hour ago with his
neck slashed open. There's no sign of the man you wounded."
"He escaped?" Mulder's eyebrows shot up.
"Yes, and there's no clue as to where he went." Scully
shook her head. "Six months they held him, and we still
don't know who he is."
"Well, we can't do anything about it now." Mulder pulled
her back down onto him. He silenced her comments with a
kiss. In a few moments, the call was the last thing on
their minds.
Jess was in a good mood. She had just seen Lindy off to
school. The youngling was enrolled in an all girls school
for now, so she wouldn't have to deal with boys. Her male
teachers were aware of her past sexual abuse, and worked
with Lindy. Fortunately, the PE teacher was a woman, so
none of the teachers other actually had any reason to be in
physical contact with her. For now, Lindy was coping very
well. In fact, she had become an A student.
So Jess was alone when she got the call. "Hello?" she
answered the phone.
"Jess, it's Mulder."
"Hey Mulder, what's up?"
"Something happened that you should know about. The man
that called himself Alpha Wolf escaped. And we still don't
know his real name, even though it's been three months."
Jess swallowed. "Thanks for the warning."
"No problem, hell beast. That aside, how are you doing?"
"Surviving. And lonely," Jess sighed.
"Jess, forget about Krycek. You could do a lot better than
a cold blooded murderer," Mulder scolded.
[Here we go again.] She immediately went on the defensive.
"I've done worse."
"Jess, Jake did treat you badly. But that doesn't mean that
you have to pine over the first man that you've bedded in
twelve years."
Her eyes narrowed. "First of all, Fox," she hissed, "I was
referring to the murders *I* committed all those years ago.
Second, Alex did treat me better than Jake. But I miss him
because he loved me and I love him. I'm not 'pining' over
him just because he's good in the sack. Thirdly, who I
sleep with ceased to be any of your business when we
stopped having sex. And fourth, who said that I've been
celibate the whole time?"
"Jess, listen to me. I didn't mean to get you mad. But I
need you to tell me if he shows up."
"Why, so you can kill him in front of me?"
Mulder was exasperated. "You don't know who he's connected
with. You could be putting yourself and Lindy in danger."
Jess wasn't about to let him have the last word. "The same
way you have been putting Dana?"
"That's not fair." Mulder sounded hurt. "I'm just trying to
help you."
Jess relaxed her stance. "Sorry, but I can't promise you
anything. I don't know what I'll do until it happens. But I
will think long and hard before I do anything."
"Okay." Mulder sounded resigned to her answer. Her response
had not really surprised him. They had had some variation
on this conversation for the last few weeks when he called.
"Let me know if you need anything. Goodbye, Jess."
"Bye, Mulder." Jess hung up the phone. She rolled her eyes.
[So much for having an upbeat day.]
[I'm almost there. Just a little further to go.] He
refolded the map and put it in the backpack that held his
only worldly possessions. He had been working steadily
towards his goal for the last six weeks, since he had
returned to US soil from St. Petersburg. It was almost
within reach.
[So close, so damn close.] He couldn't afford to make an
error now. The slightest misstep and everything would end
in disaster. He didn't think he was being followed. But he
had to be sure. He didn't want to bring her into any more
danger.
[I'll make the final push from San Francisco tonight,] he
thought wearily. [Then I can rest, if only for a day or
so.] Part of him wanted to give up, lay down, and die. But
part of him was just too stubborn to give up. Maybe that
was why They had chosen him, for his tenacity. Or his
naivete. [Or maybe it was my stupidity.]
Alex Krycek walked the overcast streets of San Francisco,
waiting for night to fall. [It will be safest to move after
dark.] That was how he had been traveling after he left the
freighter he had stowed away on - hole up for a month, wait
for the full moon to rise, make the kill his animal
instincts demanded, run like hell as a wolf as far as he
could get in one night, and then start the cycle all over.
It was a nerve wracking waiting game. [I wish I could
control the Change and didn't have to wait for the moon,
but at least I don't shift unpredictably.]
[And it's a good thing that the Change also triggers
regeneration,] he thought, unconsciously rubbing his right
hand against his left arm. Krycek hadn't been surprised
when, that night several months ago, he felt the familiar
pains of full moon transformation overtake the the phantom
pains of his missing arm. He was aware that werewolves had
incredible regenerative and healing capabilities, but he
had been surprised to see the missing limb explode from the
stump as he went from human to lupine form. And even more
amazed when he kept the arm when he Changed from wolf to
human.
He sighed. [I'm almost there, Jess. Please be waiting.] If
she turned him away, he had decided what to do. Too many
people had wished him dead. His mother had been gone for
many years. He wasn't sure if his father was alive or not,
and he didn't want to think about him. His experience in
Russia had finally broken his will to play the game. He had
bought the silver arrowhead necklace and filed the edges to
razor sharpness. There would be no reason for him to
continue if Jess didn't want anything to do with him. His
life was worthless without her. He would have no one and no
reason to live. But he had to see her one last time.
[Either way, tonight I'll know what to do.]
Mulder sat on his couch, thinking about the full moon and
Jess. She would probably be out with Lindy, howling her
lungs out. And hopefully had forgotten about Krycek,
although it seemed unlikely.
Every time he had called and talked to her and tried to
bring up Krycek, she had gotten defensive and snappy. She
listened to what he said about his recent adventure in
Russia and Krycek's involvement in the militia. Then she
snarled something about the fact that she had also killed
as a werewolf, so was Mulder going to come after her too?
[Why Jess and Krycek? Why not Jess and Pendrell? Or even
Jess and Colton? I could live with that.] He shook his
head. He wanted to see his best friend and ex-lover happy.
But he also wanted revenge for what Krycek had done to him
and Scully. The question was how to do it without
alienating Jess.
Unknown to Scully, he had the Lone Gunmen trying to trace
Krycek's movements in Russia and keeping an eye on the
ports of entry. If he ever returned to the US, Krycek would
try to contact her, seeking shelter. He wanted to find
Krycek before Jess did, so she wouldn't be put in the
position of having to choose between them. But as more time
passed, the less likely that seemed.
[Damn. It was a good thing I didn't Change and go out
tonight.] Later that evening, Jess sat by the window to her
apartment. She was watching the West Coast winter
rainstorm. [Jeez. It's miserable out there. At least it's
not like the time it flooded downtown.]
[I wonder how Lindy's handling the storm,] she mused. Lindy
loved to sit and watch the rain coming down from the safety
of a window. She had begged Jess, Annie, and Michael to be
allowed to spend the night at his place, where the windows
looked out into a street instead of another apartment. And
Annie had indulgently said okay, and yes she could bring
her cat Chloe before Jess or Michael could protest. [She's
got us just where she wants us,] she thought with a grin.
There was a soft scratch at the door. [Who is that?] Jess
wasn't expecting any visitors, especially not in this
weather. [And why would they scratch at the door and not
knock?] She opened the door.
Standing there was a tall, thin, shaggy, black and white
half-wolf half-husky, covered with mud. [Poor thing,] she
thought. [This dog's obviously had a rough time of it
somewhere.] "Come on in, boy. Can't turn you away on a
night like this." The dog stumbled in, weak and exhausted.
She pulled out of the refrigerator some left over roast
that she was saving for tomorrow's lunch. "Here, eat up."
It wolfed down the leftovers. Jess kept frowning at the
dog. There was something familiar about its eyes, a
brilliant green instead of the usual brown, blue, or gold
found in a husky. And at the base of the dog's ear, almost
hidden by the shaggy fur, she could see a glimmer of a gold
earring. [Oh. My. God.] "Alex?" Jess asked softly.
The werewolf whimpered weakly, closing his eyes. Krycek
slumped against her legs managed a shallow nod. [Thank
whoever's up there that she recognized me.]
"Oh God, Alex," Jess whispered. She knelt down and pulled
him in close. "I've missed you," she said, burying her face
in his fur. "I've been searching for you since... hoping
that... praying you were... ." Her voice trailed off,
remembering how they had been split apart. She started to
sob quietly.
Krycek placed his head on her shoulder. He licked her face
in affection, trying to comfort her.
Jess smiled through her tears. She took the fanged head in
her hands. "I love you, you smelly mutt. But let's take
care of the smelly part." She led him to the bathroom. "Can
you control your transformation?" She started the water
running.
A shake of the head and a soft whine was her answer. "Okay,
we'll just work with it. Get in."
Krycek stood in the bathtub and allowed Jess to soap and
scrub his body, washing away the muck from his travels. He
sighed as he felt his tense muscles relax. [I'm safe, at
least for the moment. It's wonderful to have a full stomach
and feel clean again.] His head drooped in contentment.
Jess could feel the thick fur thinning out under her hands.
Slowly the back was broadening. The hocks were folding
forward. The muzzle was slowly shrinking back into a human
nose and lips. She repeatedly rinsed his body. By the time
she had finished grooming him and had gotten him out of the
tub, he was fully human again and half asleep.
"Missed you, Jess," he murmured as she toweled him off. His
arms fell around her and he pressed his nose to the skin of
her neck, inhaling deeply. "Love you."
"Love you too." Jess brushed her lips past an ear. "Your
dead on your feet. Let's get you to bed. We'll have time to
talk in the morning."
Jess sat up after putting Krycek to bed, watching him sleep
sprawled on his back. [He looks so peaceful now. Almost
angelic.] She brushed his hair away from his face tenderly.
He stirred, muttered something unintelligible, and
resettled on his side. His left hand was fisted and laying
near his head, making Jess wonder if he had been a
thumb-sucker late into his childhood. [Poor thing. Seeing
him like this, it's hard to believe what Mulder told me.]
She got up and moved to the living room.
She dropped to the couch. [Mulder. Oh God!] Jess hadn't
allowed herself to think about Krycek coming back into her
life. She always talked about it as if it could happen, but
she never actually let herself believe it for a moment. [If
I call Mulder, he's gonna kill Alex. If I don't call Mulder
and he finds out, he's gonna hate me, and I lose a friend,
and probably gain an enemy.]
Jess put her heads in her hands. [What am I going to do?
Time to make a choice.] She sat there thinking for a few
minutes, and then picked up the phone.
Krycek woke up to the chimes of a grandfather clock in the
other room. He was well rested for the first time in a long
time. He stretched and looked around the room. He was lying
in a full bed with a home made dog quilt thrown over him.
An old mahogany dresser graced the opposite wall. On the
bedside table was a picture of a happy family - Jess,
someone who looked like the male version of her, a chestnut
haired woman with her arm around him, and a blond seven
year old girl that was beaming ear to ear. There was a
second older picture of a boy and two girls. And a third of
the blond girl. [Must be her family.]
He slowly got out of the bed. Although soaking in the bath
last night had helped, he was sore from traveling so far so
fast. [Better find my clothes.] Naked, he padded into the
living room, also searching for Jess.
The sound of the door knob turning startled him. [Shit!
Someone followed me.] He looked around to find some sort of
weapon to defend himself.
He needn't have worried. Jess stepped through the door,
carrying several plastic bags with the name of a local
drugstore imprinted on them. She was also carrying the
backpack he had dropped outside her door. She broke into a
beautiful smile when she saw him standing there. "You're
awake," she said, going to him. She put her arms around his
neck, kissing him passionately.
[God! She's more beautiful than I remembered.] His arms
wound possessively around her body, reassuring him that she
was real. He returned the kiss crying, releasing the pent
up emotions of their separation. He could taste her salty
tears as well as his own.
When the kiss ended, Jess stepped away a little shyly. "I
got you some things. I thought you'd want to clean up. I
hope I got the right size." She handed him one of the bags.
"It looked like the stuff you had seen better days."
"Thanks." Inside was a toothbrush, razor, a set of sweats
and boxers. "Let me go get dressed."
"Okay." Jess kissed his cheek. As he moved to the bathroom,
he heard her talking. "Do you want to talk about what
happened?" she asked as she put the rest of her purchases
away.
He pulled on the boxers and sweats. "Last night or before?"
"Whatever you're comfortable with." Jess appeared in the
doorway, leaning against it, arms crossed.
"I'm not comfortable with any of it." Krycek looked at her
with mixed emotions. "I wanted to tell you, but I wasn't
sure how. And I wanted to keep you safe."
"Trust me, Alex, I was in danger long before I met you. You
haven't figured it out yet, have you?" She shook her head.
"Don't you know why Mulder asked me to help?"
Krycek shook his head. "I figured you were supposed to be
psychic or something," he said around a mouthful of
toothpaste.
"Since I was working with Spooky? Close, but not quite."
Jess grinned. "It's so obvious that I missed it when we
started dating. You see," she paused, looking him in the
eyes, "I'm also a werewolf."
Krycek blinked. That was the last thing he expected her to
say. But it made sense in a twisted way. [It explains the
way it felt like we knew each other as soon as we met.] He
spat out the foam. "How?" [I don't remember seeing her at
the labs.]
"That's a long story. One that can wait until after
breakfast, or I guess it would be lunch. It's almost
eleven."
"And maybe wait until after... something else?" He didn't
dare voice what he wanted - her.
Jess's grin got wider. "Of course. Why do you think I went
to a *drugstore*?" She stepped in close and rubbed her hand
against his chest, tracing lightly the swirls of his chest
hair.
"Jessica," he whispered throatily. He could feel goose
bumps trailing after her hand. He felt certain stirrings
for the first time in a long time. He lifted her hand to
his lips.
Jess shivered. Her lips parted and eyes shut. "Alex." Her
breathing quickened.
Krycek leaned in close, lips parting to match hers. Just as
they made contact, his stomach rumbled.
They both pulled back giggling. "I guess that means
breakfast first." Jess turned to go to the kitchen. [He
looks like he lost some weight. Life on the run definitely
does not agree with him.] "Eggs and bacon okay?"
"Yeah, sounds great."
The man in the trenchcoat carried the package as if he were
transporting the Royal Crown Jewels of Great Britain to
their safe house. And in a way, the information that was on
the video tape in the brown wrapping was more valuable. He
had received it from his contact on the West Coast. Now all
that remained was making sure the right people saw and
acted on it.
He didn't pretend to understand his boss's orders. The
Cigarette Smoking Man didn't owe him any explanation. As
long as he carried out this assignment successfully, he
wouldn't worry about it.
After eating together, they moved back to the living room.
"You're not mad at me for not telling..."
"Alex," Jess interrupted, "how can I be angry with you when
I'm guilty of the same thing?"
His shoulders slumped in relief. "So how much time do we
have together?" Krycek asked, sitting on the couch.
"I called Michael last night. Annie, my bro's wife, will
bring Lindy back tomorrow."
"Actually, I meant how long will we be together, alone or
not?"
"What do you mean?" Jess looked puzzled by the question.
She sat down beside him.
"I'm assuming Mulder knows I'm here. It's only a matter of
time before he comes after me."
Jess looked away uncomfortably. "Mulder doesn't know. No
one does, except Michael and Annie."
"Say again?" He put a hand to her cheek, turning her face
to him.
"Mulder and I haven't gotten along well since... you know."
Jess gave a weak laugh. "He knows me too well. He figured
if you showed up here, I wouldn't tell him. We've had many
'discussions' about it." She smiled. "I guess he was
right."
Krycek's hand slid from her cheek to entangle itself in her
hair. "So we have no worries, at least for the moment," he
murmured. He pulled her head to his and kissed her.
Jess slid towards him, easing onto his lap. Her hands
brought his other hand to her breast. He slowly kneaded it
through her clothing. "Oh God," he whispered. She was just
as firm as he remembered.
Jess's breathing deepened. She shifted, straddling him. Her
hands slid under Krycek's shirt, stroking his soft skin.
Her lips moved across his cheek. Her breath tickled his
ear. "I want you. I need to feel you moving inside of me."
She took his earlobe between her teeth and gently bit down,
toying with his earring with her tongue.
Krycek could only growl in response. But still he
hesitated. He gently lifted her off his lap and then stood
up. "Are you sure you want this? There is a lot that has
happened that you don't know. I fucked up big time." [And
was fucked up big time.]
Jess stood up beside him, pressing herself against him. Her
fingers intertwined with his. "Alex, Mulder's told me some
of it. We can talk about it later. And I know it will be
dangerous. I know it puts you, me, and my family at risk.
But I love you and I'd rather face that danger with you
than on my own."
Krycek leaned his forehead against hers, looking into her
eyes. "Jess, I love you with all my heart. Anything that is
within my power I would do for you."
"Well, right now all I want is for you to make passionate
love to me."
"I can do that." He scooped Jess up in his arms and carried
her to the bedroom.
He gently lowered her onto the bed. Jess sat her up and
pulled him onto the bed on top of her. Krycek groaned as
one hand entangled in his hair and the other slid down to
cup his ass. She began to squeeze rhythmically. He kissed
the tender skin behind the angle of her jaw before nibbling
on her earlobe.
Jess arched up against him, sighing softly. "Alex, this is
real, right? This isn't a dream?"
She felt the wet warmth recede from her ear. "If this is a
dream," he whispered huskily, "I never want to wake up."
His lips brushed hers tenderly before moving to lick her
other ear. He then pulled back to watch her as she reacted
to what he was about to do.
She whimpered as he laid a finger on the center of her
forehead. Krycek ever so slowly traced the line of symmetry
down her nose to pause at her lips. They parted to lure his
finger between her teeth. He gasped as she sucked it
gently, an imitation of a more intimate act she wanted to
perform.
He shivered and backed off slightly to kneel between her
legs, which were spread in welcome. The finger reluctantly
withdrew to continue tracing down her face and neck. He
toyed lightly with the collar of her button down shirt.
With a look of complete absorption, he slowly undid it,
revealing a soft cotton bra. "So beautiful," he whispered,
sliding it off to expose her breasts. "What?" he said as
she shifted uneasily beneath him and looked away.
"How can you say that?" was her answer. Tears slipped from
her eyes. "How can I be beautiful with what Jake did to me?
With the way he scarred me, slashed me?"
The scars, some knife blade thin, some jagged tooth marks,
traced across her breasts and stomach like lines of white
fire. Two bite marks circled around her nipples. The
slashes radiated outward from her nipples to the base of
her breasts and traced the path between her breasts to her
navel. For the first time, he realized that she too had a
past to overcome. The cocky, smart-mouthed,
devil-take-the-hindmost, werewolf woman he loved could also
be sad, shy, and uncertain, afraid her body would be a turn
off, all because of what an abusive boyfriend had done to
her one night in a drunken rage.
"Jessica," he whispered softly. A hand gently turned her
head back to look at him, hovering over her. Looking at her
chest, he deliberately smiled wide and wantonly. "I see a
beautiful woman that I love with all my heart who has been
though the fire, and came out so much stronger. I think you
are the most gorgeous creature I've ever seen." Looking
into her eyes, he lunged his hips towards hers so his cock
prodded her thigh. The sweats he was wearing did nothing to
constrain his hard-on. "And my body hasn't changed its mind
about making love to you."
She closed her eyes, smiled, and softly whimpered as he
bent down to kiss away her tears. Jess's hands moved from
where she was cradling his ass to slide to the hem of his
shirt. She peeled the shirt deftly off his body, making his
cock throb even harder.
Krycek leaned in for another lingering kiss. Their first
time had been franticly consummated, both having abstained
for so long. Now he wanted to draw this encounter out as
long as possible, uncertain they would ever have a chance
for a repeat performance. But the sight and feel of bare
skin against bare skin almost made him change his mind. His
tongue slid along hers, relishing the feeling of wet, warm
velvet.
Meanwhile, Jess had kept her hands busy. She worried his
sweatpants and boxers down to mid thigh. Her deft hands
then traced up the inside of his thighs, making him shiver.
They slid around to the back of his thighs kept moving up
his back to end at his shoulders, holding him tight against
her.
Krycek moaned and reluctantly pulled away from her mouth to
travel downwards. He placed feather light kisses around her
breast and matched his movements on her other with his
fingers, spiraling inwards to her erect nipples. He heard
her gasp as he gently blew across them. He gently sucked
and pinched them, and she bucked upwards and tightened her
hold on his shoulders.
"Let me sit up," he whispered. Jess relaxed her grip as he
crouched upwards and wiggled out of the sweats. "Now lift
your hips." He slowly, reverently removed her jeans and
panties. "Do you have any condoms?"
Jess smiled. "Like I said earlier, why do you think I went
to a *drugstore*? For their choice in clothing?" Never
taking her eyes from him, she reached behind her to pull
open a drawer of the bed stand. She fumbled blindly and
pulled out an unopened box.
Krycek eagerly snatched the box from her hand and ripped it
open. Hands trembling with excitement, he tried to open the
shiny foil packet.
"Alex, wait." Jess sat up and put a hand over his. "Let me
do it." She pulled the package from his hands. "Now lay
back and let me do the work."
"Jess, what are you doing?" he asked as she shoved him down
gently so he lay with his head at the foot of the bed.
"Something I've wanted to do for a long time." Supporting
her weight on her elbows, Jess bent to suck at his navel.
And then she moved her lips lower, blowing softly into his
pubic hair.
Krycek moaned and sat up. He knew what she wanted, and he
wanted it too. His hands grasped either side of her head
and guided her to his engorged cock. He gasped as he felt a
warmth cover his glans.
He shifted under her, lifting his hips involuntarily,
urging her to take more. Her right hand traced the skin
inside his thigh to start massaging his balls. She then
lunged, taking all of him she could. She felt the end of
his cock press against the back of her throat.
"Oh God... oh God... oh God!" Krycek screamed as he felt
her swallow repeatedly, running her tongue over the
sensitive skin. With each swallow, she grasped and released
his balls. He had never felt such an intense sensation in
his life.
She could feel the skin of his scrotum tightening. Jess
then released him, backing away slightly. She looked up to
see him staring at her with open mouth and wide dilated
eyes.
"Get... that... condom... on... me... *now*!" Krycek
panted.
Jess trembled as she unrolled the condom onto him. She had
never seen a man so desperate for release. [Good Lord, what
have I done?] She watched him take a deep breath and... .
Krycek flung Jess backwards to land in the pillows with him
on top of her. Both hands went to each side of her cheeks
as he kissed her long and deep, smelling and tasting
himself on her. Backing off so he could watch her face, he
positioned herself to penetrate her. He smiled as he heard
the quiet yip she gave as he brushed against her clit.
He repeated the movement. She yipped again and lifted her
hips, her eyes shut tight. "Jess, look at me."
She opened her eyes to stare into his. Krycek slowly began
to sink his cock into her wet tightness. Once he was fully
buried in her, he let out a breathy moan of contentment.
Jess shivered and whimpered as he settled his weight onto
her. She nipped at his earlobe as he nuzzled her shoulder.
Tentatively, she moved her hips. Krycek took that as
permission and slowly started to thrust.
"Harder, Alex, harder," Jess begged. Krycek obliged,
pistioning himself in and out of her faster and faster. He
could feel his tension rising. One hand moved down to where
he was frantically pushing to lightly stroke her clit
repeatedly.
Jess arched up beneath him, nails biting into his flesh as
they stroked downward to his ass. She screamed his name as
she came.
He pumped into her even faster, feeling her squeezing him.
And suddenly found himself screaming her name as he surged
into her.
He colapsed onto her, ehausted. One of her hands moved to
cradle the back of his head. Krycek kisssed her ear. "Let
me up for a moment." He withdrew to the bathroom to dispose
of the condom.
Jess smiled and stretched. She scooted over to one side of
the bed as Krycek returned and got in bed beside her. She
pulled him to her with a sigh of contentment.
Krycek put his arms around her tightly. He nuzzled her
hair, inhaling her scent deeply. Jess sighed again and
nestled into his shoulder, still smiling. Her eyes slid
shut.
Krycek felt her breathing become slower. He glanced down to
find that she was asleep in his arms, as trusting as a
little child. The smile still graced her lips. And suddenly
he realized what a stupid move seeing her was. It would
only be a matter of time before someone hunted him down,
and would use Jess to get to him.
But for some reason, he really didn't care. Being with her
was enough for the moment.
He leaned his cheek against her hair and shut his eyes. He
was asleep before he knew it.
And the expected nightmares never visited them.
He sat in one of the seedier motel rooms in San Jose. He
had gotten away from the jail without much trouble. It had
been a little more problematic to trace the traitor's
trail, but a little research as to where the bitch lived
let him figure out where Krycek would appear.
[And when I get a hold of them,] Alpha Wolf grinned to
himself. He would capture them. He would personally punish
Krycek for escaping. He would claim the bitch as his mate.
He would be back in good graces at the labs. In short, he
would be the dominant male, the alpha wolf of the pack,
again.
That was how he thought of himself, as Alpha Wolf. He never
even thought of his human name anymore. Hell, he had
forgotten his human name. The animal had eaten up any
vestige of humanity he once had. He had always completed
his assignments with the cool efficiency of the predator
that his masters had prized. No female had denied him
anything his bestial lust had desired, wanting to share his
power. And no subordinate male had ever thumbed his nose at
him like that. That was why his escape and her rejection
drove him so.
Now it was a matter of time. Krycek was in San Jose, he
could smell him and sense his mental signature. All he
would have to do would be get a hold of the bitch, and
Krycek would stick his neck in the noose willingly. All he
had to do was watch and wait.
Jess and Krycek laid in bed together, asleep in each others
arms. Swept away by their emotions, they had pleasured each
other until they were both too exhausted to move.
Krycek woke up first. One eye slid open to take in the
setting sun. Then the second one opened so he could focus
on the beautiful woman in his arms. [As screwed up as my
life is, how did I manage to end up with someone so
wonderful?] He tenderly brushed her bangs back from her
eyes.
Jess stirred lightly from his caress. Her eyes blinked open
to see Krycek smiling at her. [He's here. He's *really*
here.] She reached to stroke his cheek with the back of her
fingers.
Neither of them wanted to break the spell they were under.
Afraid to speak, Jess settled for actions to express
herself. She pulled his head to hers and kissed him
passionately.
Krycek sighed and rolled onto his back. He pulled her on
top of him. Grinning, he grabbed a condom and raised his
eyebrows.
Jess grinned and let her hands and lips start to roam.
Krycek also explored her tenderly. Aside from the
occasional gasp as an extremely sensitive spot was probed,
the love they made was silent and tender, each trying to
express their feelings through the physical act.
They collapsed back into the bed, sated for the moment.
Jess felt content, secure in the knowledge of Krycek's
love. But she still felt something needed to be explained.
"Do you still want to know how it happened?"
Krycek nodded. He settled deeper into the pillows, keeping
an arm around her shoulders.
Jess nestled down beside Krycek. She put her head onto his
chest. She quietly began to speak.
"I'm still not quite sure why I went into that second hand
shop... ."
Scully stepped into their basement office only to find
Mulder fiddling with a VCR. "Don't tell me that you still
feel the need to watch those videos of yours after last
night."
"Not exactly. I found this tape on my desk this afternoon.
And I think you'll find it interesting." Mulder hit the
play button on the remote.
The screen flickered to life. Scully found herself looking
at the outside of a ground floor apartment. A mongrel that
mostly husky limped into the scene. It scratched at the
door, whimpering. Jess opened the door, and let the thin
animal inside.
"Looks like Jess took in a stray, Mulder."
"Yes, that's what it looks like. But look at what happens
at a later point in the tape." He hit the fast forward
button. After a few moments, Mulder let the VCR resume
normal play.
The point of view shifted. Instead of the door to Jess's
apartment, now they were looking at the window. After a few
seconds, Jess was framed in the sill. She was obviously
talking to someone. Then the person she was talking to
stepped into view. A bare chested Krycek pulled her into a
passionate embrace.
[Oh great!] Scully thought. She had been afraid of this.
"Mulder, what do you want to do?"
"Do? I want to kill the bastard." His voice took on a grim
tone. "He hurt you, he hurt me, and I'm not going to let
him hurt Jess. She's suffered enough."
"Even if that means that you hurt Jess?" Scully could
understand his need for vengeance. Hell, she had wanted to
personally pull the trigger of the gun Mulder would place
to his head. Then they had found the records in the drug
company that gave detailed accounts of testing and
experiments performed. After reading what they had done to
Krycek, she felt that revenge should be tempered by mercy,
or cruelty, depending on your point of view. [Mulder wants
him to die. I want him to live and suffer.]
"I want to avoid it if at all possible." He put down the
remote. "Let's go pay Jess a little visit."
"My God, Jess. You went through all that and managed to
stay sane?" Krycek sounded in awe of her.
They had stayed in bed through the whole story. Krycek has
listened silently, completely absorbed by her tale. Jess,
still in his arms, had finished and was waiting for his
response.
"Some people would say I wasn't sane to begin with."
"Jess, could you be serious for one moment?"
"Okay," Jess sounded apologetic. "Defense mechanism -
whenever things hit a little too close to home, I wisecrack
my way out of it."
"You don't have to do that with me." Krycek kissed her
tenderly. "What I meant was that it didn't drive you crazy.
Back at the labs, three out of four 'subjects' went insane
within two months."
Jess sighed. "I've always been a survivor. Otherwise, I
wouldn't have made it through my teen years."
"Well I don't think I could have handled it." His hand
started to stroke her cheek. "I've had a rough time dealing
with everything that I did, let alone what happened at the
labs."
"Alex, what really happened between you and Mulder?" Jess
lifted up and looked into his eyes. "I've heard Mulder's
and Dana's side, but I want to hear yours."
Krycek leaned back further into the pillows with a sigh. "I
want to, Jess. I've told you all I can." He told her what
he remembered about what he had done to Mulder and what had
been done to him since they were parted. It had felt good
to finally confess to someone what he had done. Hearing her
say "I forgive you" had started his wounded soul healing.
"But there are blank spaces where I can't remember. I want
to, but I just can't." The frustration was plain in his
voice.
"It's okay," Jess soothed. "You can tell me when you
remember. I'm not asking you to do it now."
"Good, because I have a hard time concentrating on more
than one thing at a time." A hand stroked her bare back.
"So what are you concentrating on right now?" She lightly
placed a hand on his thigh.
"How beautiful you are."
"I like that line of thought." Jess kissed him
passionately. Her hand moved to a more private part of his
body.
Krycek tried to respond in kind, but wasn't able to rise to
the occasion. "Sorry," he mumbled.
"It's okay," Jess said. "We've gone for so long without
sex, and then have it twice times in the last ten hours.
It's no wonder you're not able to right now." She snuggled
back down beside him.
Krycek idly stroked her. [Time to get back to reality.]
"Jess, what are we going to do?"
"I don't know."
"Same here. All I know for sure is I can't lose you. Jess,
will you marry me?" The words came tumbling out before he
was fully aware of what he was saying.
Jess sat up, shock written all over her features. "Did you
just ask me what I think you did?"
"Yeah," he said softly. [Hell, I've come this far, so why
not take it all the way.] "I love you with all my being. I
can't stand the thought of being separated from you. I
can't offer much, but all that I am is yours."
Tears shown in Jess's eyes. "Why are you asking now? I do
love you, but why this step this fast? Why not just live
together for a while?"
Krycek sighed and closed his eyes. "I want to be tied to
you as closely as possible. I came from a traditional
family, Jess. I was taught that if you loved someone, you
made a permanent commitment to her. And I don't know if
I'll ever get the chance to ask again."
Jess bowed her head. [He's right. Carpe the diem, girl. It
may never come again.] "Yes, Alex, I'll marry you. I love
you with all my heart and soul... and body," she added
mischievously. She leant down and kissed him.
He wrapped his arms tightly around her. "You've just made
me the happiest I've ever been, Jess. But I would have
stayed even if you had said 'not yet,' or even 'no.'"
Jess smiled tenderly. "I could never say no to you, Alex.
Besides, in a way, we've already made that commitment."
"I'm not following," Krycek said.
There was a contentment in her voice that Krycek never
heard before. "Alex, dearest, don't you know that wolves
mate for life?"
Lindy stood outside the apartment door with Annie. She was
nervous and a little scared. She clutched the cat carrier
that Chloe was in.
Annie gave her hand a squeeze. "Things are going to be
okay. If you want to come back with me, all you have to do
is ask."
Lindy nodded. Annie knocked on the door.
Jess opened the door. "Come in," she said nervously.
[Please don't let Lindy freak out. Please let them like
each other.] "Annie, Lindy, this is Alex."
Lindy looked around the living room. Sitting in the corner
chair was a man. Although she had glimpsed his face in
Jess's memory, he wasn't what she expected. She knew he was
a werewolf, so she expected him to look like the horrible
fair haired being that created her. The fact that his hair
as dark as Jess's immediately reassured her. She shyly
smiled.
Krycek smiled back. [Don't scare her.] Jess had told him
about what Lindy had been through. "I've heard a lot about
you. I'm glad to meet you."
Lindy moved from Annie to stand beside Jess. She had opened
the carrier and Chloe sauntered out. On seeing a stranger
sitting in 'her' chair, Chloe went to the Krycek and
proceeded to rub against him, marking him as part of her
territory. Krycek reached down to scratch behind the cat's
ears. Chloe's purrs filled the silence of the room. "What's
your cats name?" he asked.
"Chloe," came Lindy's reply. As Krycek continued to scratch
the feline, Lindy slowly moved towards her cat. She started
stroking Chloe's back. "Do you have a cat?"
"No, but I did have a dog when I was younger."
Jess exhaled the breath she didn't know she had been
holding. If Lindy felt comfortable enough to ask a question
like that, things were off to a good start.
Annie grinned also. "Michael sent over some of his things
until you can get your own, Alex. If you'll excuse me, I
have to go see a patient. Everything okay?"
"Yeah," Lindy said.
"Okay, Lindy. Talk to you later, Jess. Nice to meet you,
Alex." Annie left.
Jess turned to Lindy. "Why don't you go put up your stuff?
Then we'll get something to eat."
"Pizza?" Lindy looked up eagerly.
"Sure, why not." Jess watched Lindy hesitantly pick up
Chloe, and scamper off to the safety of her room. A small
smile played at the corners of her mouth. "That went well.
I'm surprised she went near you."
"Am I that scary?" Krycek got up and crossed the room. "Am
I that horrible a monster?" He wrapped his arms around her
from behind and kissed her neck.
"No, but she didn't take to Michael that fast." She reached
behind his head to entangle her fingers in his hair. She
swayed back and forth. "Do you really think we can pull
this off?"
He swayed with her, matching her rhythm. "You said
Lindy..."
"No, I'm talking about us staying together. Are we going to
be able to pull off the All-American couple trying to raise
their child? I mean look at us, three werewolves, you
running from God-only-knows-who, a little girl who's
terrified of strange men, and me trying to keep Mulder from
finding out about us? One tiny slip up, and it could end in
disaster."
A chill passed over his heart. "Are you saying that you've
changed your mind about trying?"
She turned in his arms. "No. I'm just terrified. I know
things can't last as they are." She bowed her head against
his chest.
He leant his head against hers. "I know, and I'm scared
too. If anything happened to you or Lindy because of me, I
don't think I could live with myself. I'm not sure I can
live like this."
"Live how? With me and Lindy?"
"No, as a werewolf." He smiled and chuckled a little.
"Funny. I had to lose my humanity to find it."
"Alex, I've lived like this for over ten years. And I miss
being human. It's stressful to have to plan your life
around the cycle of the moon. It's hard, but doable."
"Jess, if you had a choice, would you become human again?"
She sighed. "Don't know, Alex. I just don't know."
Scully woke up in the hotel room alone. [Damn! He ditched
me again.]
They had arrived in San Jose late the night before. Mulder
had wanted to go find Krycek and Jess that night. Scully
had convinced him, she thought, to wait until morning.
She got up and dressed. Then she searched the room for any
clue as to where Mulder went.
There. Beside the phone was a note pad, top page half
missing. With a few strokes of a finely sharpened pencil,
she was able to see the imprint of what had been scribbled.
It was an address in Los Gatos, an affluent suburb. And
next to it was a name, Michael Leahs.
The door opened to the one story house, and Jess stepped
out. Looking back, she waved goodbye to Michael. She turned
and started to walk to her Jeep, parked around the corner.
Then she saw the man standing beside it.
She closed her eyes and sighed. [It was only a matter of
time. I had hoped for longer. Maybe I can bluff my way
through it.] She walked up to the man. "Hello, Mulder. What
are you doing here? Where's Dana?"
"Jess." His voice was cold and distant. "I wanted to talk
to you alone first. I know Krycek's with you."
Jess swallowed. "How?"
"Someone sent me a tape of the two of you. Jess, how could
you?" He allowed some pain to seep into his tone. "I can
understand before, when you didn't know who he was. But now
you're protecting him. Do you have any idea how much that
hurts?"
"Yes I do. It's the same hell I've been putting myself
through trying to decide what to do. But it was my choice."
"Jess, why? I thought our friendship meant something to
you."
"Mulder, it does. But look at it from my point of view. In
the last twelve years, he's the only other man I've been
interested in. You've been able to move on and find someone
else. I didn't have that luxury of being able to find
someone to lean on."
Mulder, angry at her defense, asked the question that he
always wondered about. "If you were so lonely, why didn't
you find me, or find someone else, and make them like you?"
Jess put her head in her hands. "I thought about it,
Mulder. Once I almost sought you out." Her temper and
control had finally broken. Her voice took on a low growl.
"But would you have forgiven me if I did? Do you really
think I could do *this* to someone else?"
Her paws/hands shot out to grab his collar. Mulder found
himself staring eye to eye with not Jess, but a snarling
jet black werewolf. Instincts took over. Mulder slammed a
fist into the vulnerable underside of her jaw. Losing her
grip, Jess reeled back a few steps. She dropped into a
crouch, growling, preparing to spring. Mulder reflexively
drew his gun and aimed between her eyes.
"Mulder!" Scully shouted. She had finally found him. From
her angle, she could see the back of Mulder, but not Jess.
"What are you doing?" She ran up to him.
"My God, Mulder!" came a voice. "What are we doing?" Jess
straightened back up, human. She stood there gasping for
breath, trembling and crying. Jess edged around him in a
wide circle to get into the Jeep.
Mulder lowered the gun, but didn't reholster it. "Run away.
That's what you're good at."
The wounded look never left her eyes. "I'm sorry, Mulder.
But I've made my choice. I *gotta* follow it through." Her
car pulled away with a roar.
"Dammit, Scully! Why did I just do that?" Mulder sounded
angry with himself, not to mention disgusted with Jess.
"Now she's going to run to *him.*"
The last piece of the puzzle clicked into place. "Mulder,
you still have feelings for her. You're jealous of the fact
that Krycek now is dearer to her than you."
"Now is not the time to talk about this!. We're here to
find Krycek!" Mulder stared at her. From the angry look on
his face, Scully knew she had hit close to home. His voice
softened. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to take it out on you."
He looked down. "Jess came here to see her brother. Let's
get directions from him to her place."
"Okay," Scully said quietly. [He's torn about this. He
wants to hurt Krycek, but not Jess. I don't think one can
be done without the other happening.]
Two miles away, Jess pulled over to the side of the road.
She was just outside the park where she and Lindy often
went to play.
Sobbing, she lowered her head against the steering wheel.
[God! What did I almost do?] She had never lost control of
the Change and her temper like that before, even when she
was unaware of her abilities. [I almost killed my friend.
But I can't let him hurt Alex.]
She was so absorbed in her thoughts, she hadn't paid any
attention to the car that had pulled over behind hers.
Someone had gotten out and tapped on her window.
Jess didn't look up. She just assumed a police officer was
checking on why she was on the side of the road, crying her
eyes out. She lowered the window. "Yes?"
A hand with a vile smelling cloth shot over her nose and
mouth. Jess shrieked, trying to turn her head away. A
second hand clamped on her skull, holding her in place.
"Not so fast, bitch. You're gonna spend some time with me,"
a familiar and hated voice said.
Jess, dizzy from the fumes, jerked hard and bit down on a
finger. "Ouch! How dare you!" The hand on her skull slammed
her forward into the steering wheel. The cloth once again
covered her face. Jess, struggling weakly, faded into
unconsciousness.
Krycek sat in Jess's apartment, waiting for her to return.
[She's been gone longer than she said she would be.] He was
getting worried although Jess had reassured him in no
uncertain terms that she could easily defend herself. "I've
fought seven foot humans twice my weight and won without a
scratch. I could take you down in an eye blink," she had
said.
Something in her tone of voice had made Krycek incredibly
aroused. Maybe it was the soft growl that underlied the
words. He eyed her five foot four inch frame
appreciatively. "Prove it," he said, stepping closer.
Jess's response was to merely grin and step forward. She
kissed him lightly and then quickly turned and pulled his
arm over her shoulder. She flipped him over her back and
onto the couch easily. Stifling a giggle, she walked to the
door, letting her fingers trail over his torso as she
passed.
Krycek shot up from where he sprawled on the couch. "You
didn't follow through. You should have pinned me when you
had the chance." He grabbed her in front of the open door
and kissed her passionately.
"Tonight," was Jess's whispered answer. "But right now,
I've got to see my brother. Be back in three hours."
That had been five hours ago. And he hadn't heard from her
since. Lindy was in her room, watching TV. She didn't want
to be in the same room with him without Jess present. While
the little girl was skittery around him, she seemed to
accept the him only because of how he felt about Jess.
[Poor kid,] he mused. He thought about the story Jess had
told him about a young girl who had been sexually abused by
an 'uncle' and then sold to a pedophile, who also was a
werewolf. The little girl had been Changed to make her fit
*his* fetish even more. [I'd probably be terrified of me
too with everything she's been through.]
The phone rang. Krycek listened absently as the answering
machine picked up. "Jess, if you're there pick up. Alex if
you're there, it's Michael. I need to talk to you or Jess.
Jess said to tell you the first movie the two of you saw
was 'Attack of the *the* Eye Creatures.'"
Michael wasn't stuttering. That was how the title had
appeared on the movie. That was the pass word they had
agreed on. [I hope her phone isn't bugged.] He picked up
the receiver. "This is Alex."
"Can I talk to Jess?"
"What do you mean? She's not here." Alarm bells began to
ring in Krycek's mind.
"She left here about two and a half hours ago. Said she was
going straight home. She should be there by now." Michael
also sounded worried. "But the reason I called is I've just
been contacted by two FBI agents."
[Damn!] Krycek swallowed. "Let me guess. Special Agents Fox
Mulder and Dana Scully."
"Yes. I was calling to warn you and her." Michael's voice
grew soft. "Listen, she told me about what you did, but
it's not my place to judge. All I know is when you two were
apart, she was the miserablest I've seen her in a long
time. Her attitude did a complete one eighty when you
showed up. That's reason enough for me to be your friend. I
figure you've got a half hour head start before they get
there."
"Thanks." Krycek hung up the phone. No sooner had he put
the receiver down than it rang again.
The machine picked up. An all too familiar voice started to
speak. "Traitor. I have her. If you want to see your little
bitch alive again, meet me at the Vasona Park boat house in
half an hour." The line disconnected.
[Shit!] Krycek thought. [That was the Alpha Wolf's voice.
Mulder didn't kill him after all.] He shivered when he
remembered how Alpha had nearly killed him and tried to
rape Jess. [Hang on, Jessica] he prayed. [I'm on my way.]
"Lindy, I have to go out. Stay here. Open the door only to
me, Jess, Michael, or Annie."
Scully knocked on the door to Jess's apartment. Mulder
stood to one side, gun drawn, ready for trouble. "Jess,
open up."
"She's not here. Neither is Alex." Lindy opened the door.
Alex hadn't said that she could to Miss Scully, but Jess
had earlier told her that she could always trust her and
her partner Mr. Mulder. And Jess, as far as Lindy was
concerned, outranked him.
Mulder holstered the gun. Jess had found Lindy once by
"mind scanning" for her. Maybe it could work both ways.
"Lindy, do you think you could find Jess, like that one
time she found you in D.C.?"
"Yeah," Lindy said. "I know where she and Alex are. I can
take you there." The little girl shivered. "She's in danger
and scared."
Jess when she came to, she was lying face down on a wooden
floor. Her head throbbed with each heartbeat and her throat
felt like it was on fire. She gingerly moved a hand to
touch her face. [One split lip, one gashed forhead, and one
hell of a black eye,] she winced, gently probing the
wounds. She tried to lift her head, but the room spun
dizzily. She let out a low moan.
"Ah, good. You're awake," Alpha said. She heard footsteps
echo towards her. A hand clamped down on her wrist. She was
jerked to her feet.
Jess stood there swaying. "Here." Alpha lifted a sports
bottle to her lips. "The stuff I drugged you with makes you
awfully thirsty. Drink. It'll help."
Jess turned her face away. Alpha looked amused. "Smart
bitch." He took a long sip and swallowed. He held the
bottle back to her.
She grabbed the bottle and gulped the water down. Alpha
reached to steady her shaky hand. "I'm not such a bad guy,"
he purred, stroking her fingers.
Jess shivered under his touch. "What do you want?" she
croaked, dropping the bottle.
"What I want is you beside me. You're almost every bit
alpha wolf that I am. A worthy underling, beta to none but
me, the alpha female of the pack. I can't understand what
you see in that traitor Krycek."
The water did help clear her system. "What are you going to
do to me?" she said, staring malignantly into his eyes. Her
fist and jaw clenched.
Alpha chuckled. "Still a little spitfire, eh, bitch?" He
leaned in close, staring her down. "I'm not going to hurt
you. You and your boyfriend are my ticket back to the
labs." His breath caressed her ear. "You'll find life there
isn't so bad, especially as my mate."
Jess's eyes narrowed in response. "Trying to protect
yourself from me?" he asked, touching the silver cross she
wore. His finger's brushed against her breasts. Jess hissed
like a wet cat and took an involuntary step backwards.
Alpha's grip on her wrist grew tighter, almost snapping it.
He jerked her body against his. Jess trembled and slumped
in defeat. "I knew you'd see reason eventually. And
speaking of the traitor he should be showing up to 'rescue'
you soon." His other arm snaked around her waist, tugging
her shirt out of her jeans. He bit at her neck, drawing
blood. "But until he does, why don't we get to know each
other a little bett... aaauuugh!"
Jess had kneed him with all the accuracy and force of a
striking cobra. As Alpha dropped her wrist to cradle his
injured member, she backhanded him with her free hand. She
pivoted, praying she could gain the door before Alpha
recovered. Jess knew that she couldn't beat Alpha Wolf in a
fight in an enclosed space. If she got outside, her speed
and agility would more than even the odds of her winning.
"Oh no you don't, you little slut!" Alpha tackled her from
behind. As she collapsed with Alpha cursing above her,
pressing his body into hers, she struck her head against
the doorjamb. Jess, trying to keep from blacking out, heard
the glass shattering. [I hit a door, not a window.] She
managed to turn her head in the direction of the sound.
Krycek stood there among the shards. "Get the hell away
from her!" Alpha stood up and stalked forward. Krycek and
Alpha circled each other warily. Krycek had fought him
before and wasn't looking forward to facing off with him
again. [But there is no way in hell I'm going to let him
hurt her.]
"So you really think you can take me on," Alpha snarled.
"Your girlfriend thought that also. Just before I brought
her to her knees."
"Liar!" Krycek shouted. "If you've laid a finger on
Jess..."
"Don't worry, after she went down on me, I returned the
favor."
Krycek roared incoherently and charged. In his anger, he
forgot his FBI self-defense training and the fighting
techniques they tried to indoctrinate him with at the lab.
He just lashed out with the animal fury he was feeling.
Alpha sidestepped him neatly. He kicked Krycek in the gut
as he passed by. Krycek went down to his knees, clutching
his abdomen. Alpha lifted him up by the throat. "So much
for the great warrior, defending his lady's honor," he
sneered. "Our mutual boss has told me your worthless life
is to be spared. You're to be brought back for more
testing. So...," The hand holding Krycek started to
contract.
Krycek choked and clawed vainly at his neck, trying to draw
breath. Just before he passed out, the hand loosened. "The
only thing that would make this better was if the bitch
were awake. But don't worry, we'll both be there to watch
when they start the experiment again, a dissection
perhaps." The hand tightened.
Krycek was again on the verge of blacking out. Suddenly the
pressure released. He dropped forward, supporting his
weight with his arms. After taking several deep breaths, he
became aware of Alpha screaming.
Alpha was turning his back on him. That's when Krycek saw
the silver cross, buried to the hilt, sticking out of the
base of his skull. Alpha was trying to reach around and rip
it from his head. He managed to tear it out by the chain
and dropped it like it burned him.
But it was too little too late. Alpha staggered, only to
fall forward, convulsing. The blood was streaming from the
deep gash that had been enlarged in Alpha's struggles. He
looked at Krycek. The loathing in his voice scathed
Krycek's ears. "Damn you and her to hell!" Then his body
sagged and his breath rattled in his throat.
Krycek crawled towards the body. There was no pulse. It was
over.
He looked at the cross that had caused Alpha's downfall. It
was the same one Jess had worn.
He looked up. There she stood, swaying in the effort to
keep upright. Her face and body were bruised and lacerated.
There was a haunted look in her eyes.
Krycek stood and Jess staggered to him. Not saying a word,
she threw her arms around him. He gently touched her blood
oozing from her throat, tears welling up in his eyes. Both
too weak to support their combined weight, they fell to
their knees crying.
Lindy guided Mulder and Scully deftly through the park. She
quickly grew impatient every time Mulder and Scully
insisted on checking for hidden people when they entered a
new area.
"There's no one in here," Mulder said.
"I coulda told you that," Lindy snorted. Her werewolf
senses had told her that there was no one in the last five
buildings they had gone through. "Wait." Lindy held up a
hand. She stretched up on her toes, head tilted to one
side. ~Jess?~
A male scream rang through the air. Lindy was off like a
shot, running towards the sound.
"Lindy! Get back here!" Scully started running after her.
[Is it my imagination or is her hair growing longer?] she
thought distractedly. The rubber band holding her ponytail
had broken, her long blond hair flowing behind her like a
lion's mane.
Mulder caught up and passed Scully. Lindy had just turned
the corner, shooting out of sight. They stopped short and
drew their guns. The soft sound of sobbing could be clearly
heard. Guns raised, Mulder and Scully turned the corner.
Scully slowly lowered her gun as she took in the scene.
Lindy was clutching at Jess, who in turn was holding and
being held by Krycek. Alpha's corpse lay nearby. Both Jess
and Krycek were bloodied and bruised.
Lindy put her arms around Jess. She pushed her way between
Jess and Krycek, wanting to feel sheltered. [Alex hasn't
tried to hurt me. He's not bad like *he* was. So why in Mr.
Mulder pointing his gun at him?]
Krycek looked up to see Mulder still holding the gun on
him. [This is it.] He dropped a soft kiss on Jess's head
which was cradled below Alpha's marks on his throat. "Take
care of Jess for me, Lindy," he whispered, his voice hoarse
from the throttling. "And always remember that I love you,
Jess." He then looked at the far wall, giving Mulder a
clean shot through his skull. [I'm sure this time he's
using silver bullets.]
Jess could feel Lindy trying to get as close to her as she
could. She heard the whispered words. She opened one teary
eye to see Mulder aiming at Krycek. [No, Mulder please,
no.] She closed that eye, resigned to the fact that her
love was about to die at the hands of her friend. "Goodbye,
dearest," she whispered. Her arm tightened around his body.
Scully could not allow it to end like this. [He hasn't done
enough penance. He hasn't suffered enough. He never will.
And Jess will hate Mulder for the rest of her life. She may
even come after him.] "Mulder, don't!"
"Scully, he killed my father. He helped kill your sister."
Mulder ground out through clenched teeth. "He was involved
in your abduction. He's tried repeatedly to kill me. Give
me one good reason I should let the son of a bitch live."
"You just named our best reasons," Scully countered. "I
want him dead as badly as you. But he has information and
answers that we need. And what better way to shut down the
X-Files than have the lead investigator charged with
murder, no matter how well Krycek deserves it? Are you
going to throw that all away for vengeance?" Scully shook
her head. "And what about Jess? If you kill him, you may
earn her hatred."
"She wouldn't do that." Mulder pulled back the hammer on
the gun. "Jess, Lindy, move out of the way."
"If someone killed you, *I* would hate them eternally. And
think about how miserable you were when I was missing. Are
you willing to consign Jess to that for the rest of her
life?" She put a hand on his arm. "You let him walk away
once. This time, choose to walk away yourself."
Mulder's aim shifted slightly as he turned to look at
Scully. "What he did is unforgivable. He must be punished."
"Don't you think I am?" Krycek's voice rasped. "You seem
think that I'm a monster without a conscience. I'm not. I'm
living with the guilt. Every day I face the man in the
mirror and think about what I've done. I didn't enjoy
deceiving you, Mulder. I was told that you were misguided,
that I was helping you by not telling you Who I worked for.
I didn't know what They were going to do to Scully, just
was told to keep you distracted. And I didn't want to kill
your father, but I was being watched. And I was too much of
a coward to disobey orders and be killed myself." His voice
gave out.
"And think, Mulder." Jess picked up where Krycek left off.
"He was experimented on. He has been altered into something
beyond human, forced to give up family and friends for fear
of harming or causing someone to harm them to get at him.
Has to live with the constant fear that They will swoop
down and start Their experiments again. It's a living
hell." She looked directly into his eyes. "You wouldn't be
punishing him, Mulder. You would be putting him out of his
misery."
Mulder frowned at Jess, but lowered the gun. "What are you
suggesting? That I walk away and forget that he's with
you?"
"Yes! That's exactly what I'm saying!" Jess had one last
card to play. "One of Them obviously wants Krycek outside
for now. There has been too many times when he could have
been killed out of hand. Why? Because he's an embarrassment
to Someone. Why an embarrassment? Because he knows too
much."
"She is right, Agent Mulder." Cancerman, flanked by four
soldiers, stepped through the door. Krycek made a low moan
of despair. "Mr. Krycek, I'm disappointed. You really
didn't think we wouldn't find you?"
The two of the guards aimed at Mulder and Scully. They
slowly lowered their weapons. Another moved to Alpha Wolf's
body, reaching for a pulse. He shook his head no.
"Very impressive, Miss Leahs." He lit a cigarette. "The
government thanks you for your aid in capturing two
dangerous fugitives."
"What are you going to do with us?" Jess's voice was
without inflection, as if she really didn't care any
longer. [No matter what happens, I'm going to lose Alex.
One way or another.]
"With you and your ward, nothing."
Jess and Krycek bowed their heads. They knew what would
happen next.
Mulder and Scully had a good idea too. "And what about
Krycek?" Scully asked.
The soldiers moved forward. "He will be taken into
custody."
Krycek disentangled himself from Jess and Lindy. "But you
have to catch me first!" He bolted towards the back of the
boathouse and leapt through the broken window.
Two soldiers followed outside. One raised the rifle and
fired at the fleeing figure. Jess's scream echoed the
Cigarette Smoking Man's command. "Do not shoot! He is to be
taken alive!"
Jess and Lindy ran to the window. She saw Krycek running to
the end of the adjoining pier, clutching at his shoulder,
blood seeping from a gunshot wound. "No," she whispered.
Krycek half turned and made eye contact with her for one
fleeting second that stretched for an eternity. After a
momentary hesitation, he dove into the lake.
He never surfaced.
Jess bowed her head against the window sill, not caring
about the shattered glass that scratched her forehead. She
listened to the quiet footsteps leaving the building and
coming towards her.
She felt Lindy's arms around her neck. She also felt a hand
drop to her shoulder.
"Come on, let's get you outside where I can check you out."
Scully helped Jess and Lindy to their feet. With Jess
leaning heavily on her shoulder, she led them out. Mulder
followed.
Mulder watched the dragging the lake. So far, the dive team
hadn't found Krycek's body. The sun was setting, and there
was little chance that a corpse would turn up in the next
few minutes.
[It would be best if they did find something, anything to
end the uncertainty.] He looked at Jess, sitting on a bench
with Lindy in her lap near the edge of the lake. Her arms
were wrapped possessively around the little girl. Her dark
hair brushed against Lindy's golden locks. She stared at
the lake, watching, but not seeing.
[She has that look in her eyes,] Mulder thought. [The same
look she had when she found out that Robert, Michelle, and
Mystery were dead.] Jess had been deeply devastated by the
loss of her childhood friends and her cat at the hands of
her ex-boyfriend.
Scully stepped up beside him quietly. "They are about to
call off the search for today."
Mulder nodded. "He really did love her. Almost makes me
wish I could be able to forgive the bastard, if only for
her sake." He paused and turned to Scully. "I think we
should get Jess back to her place. She's gone through a lot
today."
Scully sighed and closed her eyes. "We all have, Mulder."
"Scully, I'm not saying that all this was easy on you. I
know it was hell. But we have each other. She has no one."
"Be honest, Mulder. What I said earlier is true. You still
love her." There was no jealousy in Scully's voice. It was
merely an observation. "That's why you couldn't shoot
Krycek."
"Yes, I do love her. But as a friend and because of what we
once shared. But will we ever be lovers again? No." He took
her hand in his. "Someone else more important to me has
already taken that place in my heart." He squeezed her hand
tightly.
Scully returned the squeeze. Hand in hand, they walked to
the bench where Jess sat. Lindy had fallen asleep, resting
her head against Jess's chest. Mulder put a hand on her
shoulder. She pushed it off. Scully placed her free hand on
Jess's shoulder. This time she didn't protest.
Jess blinked and turned to face them. She had cleaned the
blood off her face and neck, but the scratches and bruises
were even more pronounced against her pale skin.
[That lost look on her face is enough to break even
Cancerman's heart,] Scully thought. "They're ending the
search for tonight." She spoke to Jess as if she were a
young child. "It's time to get you home."
Jess nodded and tried to shift Lindy without waking her.
Dropping Scully's hand, Mulder stepped forward without a
word and scooped Lindy out of her lap. Lindy stirred a
little, but didn't wake up. Jess then stood silently and
followed Mulder and Scully.
She paused once, looking back to the lake. A tear rolled
down her cheek. She then turned and continued back to the
car.
The Cigarette Smoking Man watched events unfold from a
discrete distance. He was only marginally involved in this
part of the Project. His involvement was due to his former
underling. Once he had left Krycek to die. Now, because of
the DNA he carried, Krycek was too valuable to kill out of
hand. He could be useful in the future.
He lit the Morley and inhaled. His eyes were fixed on the
bench where Mulder's former lover and her little girl sat.
She had sat there almost unmoving for the last two hours.
The only time she had shifted was when she looked away from
the lake for a few moments. She had stared in his
direction, although it would be impossible for her to see
him.
Her expression reminded him of another time he had seen the
same quiet desperation. He had been younger then. He hadn't
meant any harm. He hadn't meant for it to happen. It just
did. And he was still dealing with the consequences to this
day. Perhaps that was why he felt the urge to watch over
her.
He watched as the two lovers/partners walk to the bench.
They would see that she was taken care of. And so would he,
discreetly, of course. She was valuable as an experimental
subject to see if her kind could function in a human world.
A thought crossed his mind. [It would add an interesting
twist to the experiment.] His associates would find it
amusing at the least, and informative at the most. The hard
part would be keeping Mulder or Scully from killing Krycek
outright. [But given a suitable carrot, the man will walk
off a cliff without hesitation. And she won't, she wants
him to suffer.]
Now he had just to wait. He wouldn't waste resources
looking for Krycek. A werewolf wouldn't be killed by a
shoulder wound from a regular bullet, which he made sure
his men were armed with. It would be a matter of time
before Krycek sought him out because of desperation,
needing protection.
Jess laid curled on her side on her bed, silently weeping.
After Mulder and Scully brought Lindy and her home, she had
went to her room. She had thrown herself on her bed, trying
to process all that had happened without feeling. It wasn't
working.
The door opened. "Jess?"
She didn't look at Mulder. "Just say what you have to say
and then leave." She still spoke in the toneless voice she
had used earlier.
"I just want to say that I'm sorry about everything."
"Everything?" Jess rolled over and lifted her head to stare
at him, eyes puffy from crying.
"Everything." Mulder sighed. "Listen, you love him. He
loves you. I know he could have used you and Lindy as a
'human'" Jess snorted at the word, "shield, but he didn't.
He could have taken advantage of the situation. He didn't.
And I know how hard a love like that is hard to find."
She sat up. "Apology accepted. But what do I do now if...
."
"Whatever you want to, Jess." Mulder sounded resigned. "You
don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It's your
choice. Scully and I have discussed this. As long as he
keeps his nose clean and cooperates with us, it's none of
my business who you're sleeping with."
Jess got up and hugged Mulder tightly. "Thank you," she
whispered.
A quiet 'ahem' made them split apart. Scully stood in the
door. "Your brother's here. He wants to see you."
Jess nodded and walked to the door. She stopped only to hug
Scully and also whisper "thanks" to her.
Scully crossed over to Mulder. She wrapped her arms around
him. "That was generous of you, Mulder."
"I don't have to like it," he replied. "But we need him
alive for now. I just wonder if he made it to safety."
She shrugged her shoulders. "C'mon." Scully led him out by
the hand.
Michael and Annie were in the living room. He saw Jess's
brother holding an empty leash. Jess and Lindy were on
their knees, cooing and crying over a black and white male
husky. The dog whimpered and cowered back slightly at the
sight of the FBI agents.
"Jess, we've got to go back to D.C.," Mulder said. He shot
a sharp look at her. "Remember what I said about him
behaving."
Jess grinned up at him. "I know, no bad dogs." She stood
up. "Thanks for everything, both of you."
"Just be careful. All of you," Scully said. As they walked
out the door, she took one last look back. Jess was
standing now, one hand resting on the dog's head. Lindy was
also standing, her hand over Jess's. They both stood
silently by the dog as Mulder and Scully left.
When Krycek woke up, he had a hard time remembering exactly
where he was. He was laying in a twin bed, covered in an
juvenile print quilt. Across from him was a desk with an
older TV perched on it's top. A few posters of kittens and
puppies graced the walls, along with the plush animals on
the bookcase next to the closet. [Girl's room, obviously.]
He rolled onto his belly and pushed up to look at the clock
on the bookshelf/headboard. And his eyes rested on the
radio alarm before shifting to the picture of an average
height brunette hugging a seven year old blonde beside it.
And everything that happened yesterday came flooding back.
Alpha
Wolf kidnapping Jess. The fight to the death between the
two of them. Mulder and Scully finding and almost killing
him again. The Cigarette Smoking Man forcing him to dive
into Vasona Lake in order to escape.
After that things became more blurred. He could vaguely
remember swimming to the far shore of the lake and somehow
managing to summon enough concentration to self-heal and
Change for the first time without the influence of the
moon. And somehow, relying on the instructions Jess had
given and the map of the area he memorized, he had managed
to find Jess's brother's house and be recognized. Michael
had brought him to Jess's right away, while still in wolf
form.
He rolled out of the bed, uncertain why he was in Lindy's
room and not Jess's, where she had put him the last time he
showed up unexpectedly. [This doesn't look good.] A faded
pair of men's jeans were sitting on the chair beside the
door. And on top of those jeans were a set of red silk
boxers.
[Talk about sending mixed messages,] he mused. He pulled
the clothing on. The jeans, being Michael's, were a little
loose on him, but a belt fixed that problem.
He left Lindy's room to cross over to Jess's. Her door was
closed.
Krycek knocked on the door. "Jess?"
"Come in," came the quiet reply.
Krycek stepped through the door. He looked around her
bedroom. Jess was sitting on the bed, back to him. "Where's
Lindy?"
"She went with Annie and Michael for the weekend. Her
choice."
Krycek took a deep breath. "So we're alone."
"Yeah," Jess looked down at her hands folded in her lap.
"Alex, why didn't you come back sooner before? You came
back right away this time."
"I couldn't. It would have been too dangerous." Krycek sat
down on the bed beside her.
Jess edged away from him. "Yeah, right." There was a tremor
in her voice.
"Jess," he said softly. He put his hands on her shoulders.
"You don't think that I don't love you, that I'm using you.
Do you?"
Despite herself, Jess leant away from him slightly. "I
searched for you for so long. I kept defending you to
Mulder, Scully, and myself. But as more time passed, it got
harder to do." She looked at Krycek. "I didn't know what to
believe."
"Oh God, Jess. I had no idea I hurt you so badly." Pulling
her against him, Krycek leaned his forehead against hers.
"I stayed away because I knew I was being followed. Hell, I
probably still am. But I couldn't stay away any longer.
Please, forgive me, I beg you." A tear slid down his cheek.
Jess wiped it away tenderly. "I didn't know what to believe
about you staying away. Mulder insisted that it was because
you were involved with the man he calls Cancerman. I wasn't
so sure. But I *never* believed you stopped loving me, or
stopped loving you." She pressed her lips to his. She
wrapped her arms around him.
Krycek whimpered as he returned the kiss. It started
gently, but quickly became more passionate. Jess went down
backwards, laying on the bed and pulling Krycek with her.
Her hands started exploring his back.
Krycek took her heads in his hands. His tongue probed even
more deeply into her mouth. One hand slid from where it was
stroking her cheek to cup her breast. "I want you so
badly," he whispered.
Since her mouth was otherwise engaged nibbling his ear,
Jess mindspoke without thinking. ~I want you too, Alex.~
Krycek jumped back at the unexpected connection. "Jeez,
Jess, that scared me." He looked at her curiously. "You can
do that too?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean scare you," Jess apologized.
~What do you mean 'too'?~
[I hope I can still do this.] He took a deep breath. ~I can
mindspeak, also. Not many of us at the labs could.~ He
switched to talking. "I'm not quite as good at it."
"Alex, that's wonderful." Jess sounded excited. "I found
out by accident that Lindy and I could communicate
psychicly." Her head tilted to one side. ~What else can you
do?~
"I can read minds a bit, and also send images." He decided
to demonstrate by showing her an image he had thought of
often - the two of them spending their first night
together.
"You would choose an X rated image," Jess purred. She
replied in kind.
Krycek gasped. She had chosen one of her fantasies, him
naked, her kneeling in front of him, pleasuring him in ways
he had dreamed about those nights away from her. He pressed
himself harder against her body. "Jessica," he whispered
throatily. He kissed her frantically, aching to make love
to her.
Jess smiled at the reaction he had to her. And she was
going through the same thing. Her body was responding to
his caresses, throbbing with the need to be taken. ~Do you
want to make that fantasy a reality?~
He moved one of her hands to the hardness between his legs.
~Do you have to ask?~
[It's funny,] Scully mused to herself. She closed her eyes
and sighed. [I thought that when I came face to face with
Krycek, I would have no mercy. But when I saw how pitiful
he was... .] She shook her head. She was a long way from
forgiving Krycek for what he had done, but she did feel the
stirrings of a little pity for what was done to him. [And
after all that Jess has been through, she deserves a shot
at happiness.]
[I wonder if Mulder will see it that way.] She opened her
eyes to glance at Mulder. He was sitting beside her, head
tilted forward, eyes closed. [Krycek did kill his father.
And letting the past go isn't one of Mulder's talents.
Otherwise, he wouldn't be searching for Samantha so hard.]
Mulder may have said he wouldn't harm Krycek for Jess's
sake, but he wouldn't easily forgive.
Or forget.
Krycek and Jess lay in a tangled heap of sheets, their
bodies still entwined. He was tenderly kissing her neck.
[That smile on her face when she came has made all my
suffering worthwhile.]
A ghost of that smile still played on her lips. "It's
funny, Alex. Just when you think it can't get any better...
." She delicately left the thought unfinished.
He laid his head on her chest, listening to the steady
thump of her heartbeat. ~I know what you mean, beloved.~
"'Beloved?' I don't think I like the sound of that," Jess
murmured. "Sounds like something you put in an obituary."
She exhaled in pure contentment. "So you still gonna marry
me?"
"After the last half hour, do you think there's any
question?" A teasing tone crept into his voice. "Do you
think it might be a problem that our relationship is based
on sex?"
Jess arched an eyebrow. "That's a *problem?* God! I wish
all our problems were that simple."
Krycek chuckled. "True." He stretched against her. "We do
have a problem though." ~Mulder and Scully.~
[Can't keep reality from intruding, can we?] Jess thought.
"So what do we do?"
"Not what, when. Let them know I'm here. And pray that they
can find some touch of pity for me."
"Alex, we don't have to..."
Krycek laid a finger on her lips. ~We tried to keep it
secret, and you almost got killed. Maybe things will be
different if we lay all our cards on the table.~
Jess sighed. "So how do we do this?"
"I think I have an idea."
Mulder stepped into his apartment since the first time he
had been in San Jose. Surprisingly, there was a message on
his answering machine. He didn't often get calls when his
friends knew he was out of town investigating a case. He
punched the 'play messages' button.
"Hey, Mulder. I wanted you to know that I found that thing
I've been looking for, just after you left. And I ran into
a mutual friend, and I plan to be staying in touch with
him. Oh, and Lindy says 'hi'. Give me a call when you can.
See ya around."
[Okay, Jess. I get the message,] he thought. [And Krycek
can be a valuable source of information, once he begins
remembering. I'll tell Scully, and leave it at that. For
now.]
Jess lay in the bedroom of the apartment, trying to get to
sleep. [Tonight is a nightmare night.] She knew it. How she
knew it, she wasn't sure, but she *knew* it.
And it had been a while since she had this vibe. [And
Lindy's been doing so well,] she thought. Lindy had
adjusted surprisingly well to Krycek's presence in Jess's
life. She had made major steps towards conquering her fear.
But when she did spook, Jess had to do her utmost to calm
her back down.
She rolled over to watch Krycek as he slept. He was curled
beside her, his left arm curled under his body
protectively. Jess noticed that he always did seem to favor
that arm, although he was right handed like her. [Hell, I
would too.]
[Hard to believe that it's only been a month,] she thought
with a smile. She sighed as she though about how fast her
life had changed.
[Maybe thinking about everything has got me edgy. Some hot
chocolate ought to settle me.] She slid out of bed, trying
not to disturb Krycek. She padded out of the bedroom and
across the living area to the kitchenette, weaving to avoid
furniture. An adult and a child fit into the space easily.
But two adults, a child and a cat was pushing it. [It's
high time to get out of this cramped apartment.] She
started the water boiling.
Just after she added the powder to her cup, she heard
movement behind her. ~Whatcha doing?~ Lindy mindspoke.
~Girl, what are you doing out of bed?~ Jess turned around.
~It's after midnight.~
~Heard you moving around. And you always told me to check
out strange things.~
~Okay. As long as you're up, sit down and have some
chocolate too.~
"Okay." She sat down. ~Why isn't Alex with us?~
~He's asleep. Didn't want to disturb him or you.~ Jess
looked the little girl in the eye. ~How are you doing? Any
nightmares? Scary feelings?~
~Nope.~ Lindy blew into the mug. ~He hasn't tried anything.
Always been nice. Why should I be scared?~ She started to
drink her chocolate.
~Good. I've just been unsettled tonight. Thought I might've
been picking up something from you.~ Jess lifted her mug.
[Musta been imagining things.]
The drank in silence, just enjoying being together. Lindy's
eyelids started to droop and her head began to nod.
~Why don't you go back to bed?~ Jess said. [Disgusting, I'm
still wide awake.]
~Okay.~ Lindy was tired. Once up, usually she would resist
the idea of going back to sleep. She got up from the table.
"Night, Jess." she whispered as she went back to her room.
Jess cleaned up the kitchen and turned out the light. As
she walked back to the bedroom, she heard a low moan of
fear. That was when she realized that she hadn't been
picking up vibes from Lindy. She had been picking them up
from Krycek.
She ran the last few paces into the bedroom. Krycek, still
asleep, was thrashing about on their bed. "No! Don't! Nyet!
For God's sake, no!" he screamed, bolting upright. His eyes
snapped open.
"Alex, it's okay. I'm here." She sat on the bed and pulled
his sweat covered body to her. He locked his arms around
her tightly, burying his head into her shoulder. ~It's all
right.~ She rocked him back and forth.
~Jess, what's happening?~ Lindy mindyelled. She had heard
his yell and was running towards their bedroom.
~It's okay, Lindy. Go back to sleep. I'll deal with it.~
Her attention shifted back to the frightened man she was
cradling. "Alex, you're safe," she repeatedly whispered.
Eventually, his death grip loosened on her. His hands
wandered up to her head and pulled it to his. While kissing
her, he pressed her back onto the bed. ~I need you,
Jessica.~
Jess returned the kiss as he pulled her sleep shirt off
her. He had been so frightened of what he had dreamed, he
was trying to reassure himself of reality by making love to
her. ~I'm here. You're safe,~ she repeatedly 'spoke as she
was swept away by the sensation of his lips on hers.
Her underwear soon followed the sleep shirt. And his also.
Jess lightly stroked his back as Krycek moved to her
breast, gripping her shoulders convulsively. She nuzzled
the top of his head, planting kisses in his soft hair. A
soft growl, almost a purr, vibrated from her throat as she
reached his ass.
Krycek whimpered and tongued the skin between her breasts.
~So beautiful.~ He traveled back up to her face, stroking
her cheeks. ~Do you want me, miserable rat bastard that I
am?"
~I don't want a miserable rat bastard. I want you.~ She
nipped lightly at his ears and throat. She wrapped her
thighs around his.
Krycek moaned wordlessly and penetrated her. Each thrust
sank him deeper into her depths. Jess whimpered quietly
with each movement, feeling him fill her. She could feel
her pleasure rising, her muscles squeezing him. ~Alex!~
Krycek looked down at his lover, in the throes of her
orgasm. She had arched up against him, heels and head dug
into the matress. Her neck was bare to him in submission
and ecstacy. The sight of her drove him over the edge.
~Jessica!~ He flowed into her as a warm darkness flowed
into him.
Krycek woke up. He could feel Jess's arms holding him
tightly. She was curled around him protectively, her cheek
resting on his neck, making it impossible for someone to
get at him without going through her first.
[Oh God! What a nightmare.] In his dream, he was back in
the labs, just before he underwent the first in a series of
experiments. He shivered as he remembered the cruelty
inflicted on him in the name of science.
He smiled as he remembered making love to Jess. It had been
more incredible than usual, maybe because he had been so
relieved that it had only been a dream, that he wasn't
still locked in that damn silo or in those labs or in the
woods outside of Tunguska having his arm hacked off. Or
maybe it was because... .
Krycek groaned. [Shit! How could I have been so *stupid*?]
Jess stirred when she heard the groan. "Morning handsome,"
she said, snuggling a little closer.
"Morning Jess." His hand started to stroke her short brown
hair. "I'm sorry about last night."
Jess i
