Title: Uncertain Allies II - Memory
Author: Lycanthrophile (lycanthrophile@imadethis.org)
Fandom: The X-Files
Spoilers: Season 4
Disclaimer: I don't own them (duh!). They all belong to
TenThirteen Productions. No copyright infringement
intended.
Rating: NC17 for male/male sex
Summary: Mulder finds out about Krycek's and Scully's
interlude in his apartment.
Word Count: 3,419
Archive: Please inform me
The tall man walked into his accomadations, a cheap motel
room in the middle of nowhere. He couldn't seem to make
himself think of this place as home, temporary or
otherwise. But then there really wasn't any place he
thought of as home. Not his apartment, that was a place to
crash when he wasn't working. Not where he grew up, where
he lost his sister. Not the summer home, shrouded with so
many sad memories.
Mulder sighed and dropped down on the bed. Things had been
getting too hot to handle. Scully had been right in one
sense. He had been set up to believe the lie. This 'alien'
he was ready to expose to the public had been a hoax. Deep
in his heart he knew it. But Scully also had been set up to
believe the lie. Just because this turned out to be a hoax
did not mean that all the cases he researched were.
He had almost believed the lie, until a strange thought had
crossed his mind. What if he was being set up to be
eliminated? Perhaps he was too close to a truth that
someone did not want him to have. 'Kritchgau,' who came in
looking like himself and then morphed into the long lost
twin brother Mulder never had, returned later to his
apartment, and Mulder had been waiting, with the strange
weapon he had found in the Mulder summer home clenched in
his fist. A stab to the base of the skull, and a bullet to
the temple angled down to hide the first wound completed
Mulder's hoax, the lie he wanted the Cigarette Smoking Man
to believe. This 'alien' seemed to tend more towards human
characteristics, and bled red instead of green, a great
piece of luck as far as Mulder was concerned.
On the ubiquitous dresser that all motels seemed to have,
Mulder spotted the video tape. He picked it up, turning it
over in his fingers. [The Lone Gunmen, dependable as
usual.] It was common knowledge that Mulder's apartment was
bugged, but some people would be surprised to find out that
he had placed half the bugs there himself. There was at
least one hidden camera in every room, covering most of the
floor space. It was a way he could keep tabs on exactly who
was breaking into his apartment.
Mulder wondered who was on the tape this time. The Gunmen
had promised to monitor his equipment, after arranging for
him to disappear for a while. The last tape had been of
Scully discovering 'his' body. That had been a knife to the
gut. [I'll make it up to her,] he promised himself. But now
he couldn't let her know that he was safe and sound. Her
belief in his lie was essential to his plan. But the pain
in her "Yes, that's him," and the look in her eyes had torn
him apart. [I am a son of a bitch.]
He placed the tape in the VCR he had rented and pressed
play. The first scene was a shot of his front door from
inside the apartment, taken by the camera hidden in the
wall clock. The door inched open and an all too familiar
face poked out from behind it, casing the place. [Krycek!]
Mulder growled mentally, his hands balling into fists. He
studied his former partner and lover, wondering what
document or bit of evidence Krycek had come to retrieve.
But oddly enough, Krycek seemed uninterested in the
paperwork that was strewn about. He walked to the couch,
stopping short of the spot where 'Mulder' died. He stood
there for several minutes, giving Mulder a chance to study
him. Krycek looked every bit as fit as he had in Tunguska,
but had a tired, dirty, hang dog look. His leather jacket
was draped over his shoulder, threatening to spill to the
floor at any moment. But it was Krycek's pale worn face
that Mulder was drawn to. Krycek stood there breathing
heavily, shaking in his effort to keep himself from crying.
Mulder was stunned to see such different from the smart ass
look he was used to seeing on his ex-lover when dealing
with him recently. [It's an act,] Mulder thought. [Krycek
thinks I'm alive. He knows that the apartments bugged. This
is just some slick game he's playing to get me to come out
of hiding.] But in the back of his mind, he couldn't get
over how beautiful Krycek looked in his sorrow.
He had been attracted to Krycek from the moment Mulder had
seen him in that ridiculously fitting suit, just as he had
been attracted to Scully. But she hadn't responded to his
double entendres. Krycek had made them before he even had
even know him a day. But it would be too dangerous to start
a homosexual relationship under the Bureau's collective
nose, let alone the Consortium. There had been an air of
innocence about Krycek, a naivete that Mulder had long ago
shed and he found appealing. But time had changed both men,
hardening them. Mulder sometimes wondered if Krycek ever
mourned the death of what might have been. [I doubt the rat
bastard wouldn't recognize an honest emotion even if it bit
him on the ass.]
The door opened a second time. A resigned look crossed
Krycek's face, expecting an assassin's bullet to enter his
back. Then the cocky mask fell back into place. Mulder tore
his eyes away from Krycek to look at who had stepped into
the room. He found himself staring at Scully, who had come
in with gun drawn and trained on Krycek. [Shoot him!]
Mulder mentally screamed.
But Scully didn't fire. She stood there with a bead drawn
on Krycek and said something. Mulder cursed the fact that
he hadn't gotten the sound fixed on his bug, having been
more concerned with who was in the apartment than the
conversations going on in it. He jabbed violently at the
remote's volume key, cranking it up all the way. It didn't
help much. Mulder could still only hear faint fragments of
the conversation - "...last respects...." "...no
respect...undiscovered...." "...wrong...expose them."
Mulder gasped as the leather jacket fell away from Krycek's
body. He clenched his left hand unconsciously, a wave of
pity and tenderness washing over him. [Oh, Alex! What did
they do to you?] Mulder had come dangerously close to
losing his left arm while in Tunguska. It had taken some
fast talking to keep the gulag's truck driver from
performing the impromptu amputation. But obviously Krycek
hadn't been so lucky. Mulder shook his head, disgusted with
himself. [This man was involved with my partner's abduction
and the killing of her sister and killed my father.] But
all Mulder wanted to do was gather Krycek in his arms, and
comfort him, the same way he had been comforted by Krycek.
Having an photographic memory had a price. Almost without
volition, he thought back to the night after Scully had
disappeared. Skinner had ordered him to go home and get
some rest, and not bother to come into work the next day.
Mulder had complied with the letter of the law, but not the
spirit. Mulder planned to hit the streets after plotting
some strategy. He had sources that weren't connected with
the FBI after all. He had come home, changed clothes, and
sat down. That is as far as he made it before he was
overwhelmed with exhaustion and grief. He could only think
one thought.
[I failed her. Just like I failed Samantha.]
Mulder sat there, repeating that thought. The semi-darkness
of twilight gave way to darkness and still Mulder sat
unmoving. After several hours of meditating on his newly
found mantra, he heard the knock on the door, but ignored
it. "I know you're in there, Mulder. You're car's on the
street. I'm not going away until I know you're okay."
Mulder still made no move. "You're leaving me no choice,
Mulder. I will stand out here all night and yell at the top
of my lungs pretending to be your jilted lover until you
open the door."
Hazel eyes shut in exasperation. Mulder wanted to be left
alone in his misery. And why did Krycek exacerbate his pain
by always seeming to make references to a relationship that
never could be? "Key's on the frame, Alex."
Krycek opened the door. "You're paranoid about people
breaking into your apartment and keep a key on the frame?"
"If they want in bad enough, they'll get in," Mulder said.
"You've seen I'm okay. Now leave."
"No such luck, Mulder. Skinner asked me to make sure you do
nothing foolish." Krycek walked over to the refrigerator,
opening the door. "You're always watching the skies to
discover new life forms. Ever thing about looking in your
fridge? Geez, Mulder, when was the last time you cleaned it
out?"
"Maid's century off," was the curt reply. "Why the hell are
you here, Alex? Why do you care?"
Krycek looked back at Mulder, eyes inscrutable. "I'm your
partner."
"You may not want the job, given how most of my partners
end up." The words were delivered without heat, Mulder
being too heartsick to put any bite into his voice. "Go the
hell home."
Krycek shook his head. "Uh-uh. My orders are to take care
of you Mulder. And I always obey orders." He sat down on
the couch next to his partner. "Now tell me what's wrong."
Mulder stared at his lap. So far Krycek had been
trustworthy, and shown more inclination to believe him than
any of his other partners or coworkers. "I know who took
Scully and why."
Krycek's jaw dropped. "W-who? Why?"
Mulder looked up into Krycek's eyes with an earnestness
that scared the young man. "My sister was taken from me
when I was twelve. I have reason to believe that forces not
of this world were involved. I have been searching for
Samantha ever since then and the X-Files seemed to be a
natural way to find her." Mulder paused, unable to
continue.
Krycek filled in the rest of the story. "And the forces
that be don't want you uncovering certain facts. So they
took Scully, probably to remind you of Samantha and drive
you over the edge." Krycek laid a hand on Mulder's
shoulder, eyes filled with concern. "Don't let them break
you, Mulder. Don't let them win." Mulder slowly turned
stared at Krycek, hazel eyes transfixing green. Krycek
reached out and pushed an unruly lock of Mulder's hair off
his forehead. "It's going to be okay," Krycek said softly.
The stress of the day had crumbled the last of Mulder's
inhibitions. With the swiftness of a diving hawk, Mulder
dove for Krycek's mouth. Horrified, he pulled away after a
split second's contact with Krycek's hot, silky lips. [Oh
shit! I did not just do that!] Mulder had been discrete
before and this was the first time he had slipped,
betraying how much he was attracted to the man before him.
But before he could begin to voice an apology, Krycek's
mouth had engulfed Mulder's, his tongue demanding entrance.
The contact wiped his mind clean of his worries about
Scully. The darker haired man wrapped his arms around
Mulder and straddled his lap, pressing groins together.
Mulder's whimper was answered with one of Krycek's moan.
Mulder eventually pulled away from their kiss to trail his
lips down Krycek's neck. "Do you have any idea how long
I've wanted this?"
Mulder felt Krycek's Adam's apple bob against his chin as
he answered. "I've wanted it since I first met you. When I
saw you in that Speedo of yours, I was ready to jump your
bones then and there." His hands stroked down to Mulder's
groin, tracing around the growing bulge in his sweats.
Mulder arched beneath him like a cat who was being petted.
"The question is how much do you want?" Krycek whispered in
Mulder's ear.
"All of it, Alex." Mulder pulled back to look into Krycek's
grass green eyes. His fingers began to fumble at Krycek's
shirt buttons. "All of you."
Krycek shivered, unable to believe what Mulder just said.
"So I guess my next question is where?" he asked as Mulder
finally succeeded at unbuttoning Krycek's shirt.
"Contrary to popular belief, I do have a bed," Mulder said
with a lop sided smile. "I just don't like to sleep there."
"Agent Spooky Mulder sleep in a bed like a normal person?
Sounds like and X-File to me."
"Fuck you, Krycek."
Krycek laughed and stood up. "I hope so, Mulder," he said,
tugging Mulder to his feet. "Or the other way around."
Mulder wrapped an arm around Krycek's waist and began to
grind against the other man's groin. Krycek groaned and
bent backwards, intensifying the contact, his loose shirt
brushing the floor. Mulder arched over him, nipping at
Krycek's collarbones. "At this rate, we won't make it to
the bedroom."
Mulder pulled himself upright, urging Krycek up also. "If
my back is going to go out, I want a more satisfying
reason."
"Satisfying?" Krycek said. "I'll give you satisfying."
The next few moments were a blur, even with a photographic
memory. All Mulder was certain of was that somehow they had
managed to get to the bed. Krycek had shed his shirt
somewhere along the way, and was tugging Mulder's tee shirt
over his head. Krycek happily sighed at the sight of
Mulder's bare chest. Practically drooling, he dove for one
of the nipples that were begging to be nipped.
Mulder arched beneath Krycek, moaning. Krycek chuckled and
stroked one hand down the flat plane of Mulder's stomach,
seeking the juncture of his legs. Just before Krycek's
fingers brushed the down there, Mulder pulled away, rolling
onto his side. [Shit! What am I doing? I'm being seduced by
my partner while Scully's out there in the cold dark,
having who knows what done to her.] "I can't do this."
Krycek spooned into Mulder's back. "What's wrong, Mulder?
Is it that you feel you don't deserve to be happy if she's
missing?" Krycek began a gentle massage of the tense
shoulders before him. A slight nod was his answer. "She
knows how much pain there's been in your life. I think she
would want you to be happy." Krycek wasn't exactly sure
which 'she' he was talking about, Scully or Samantha.
But Mulder seemed to accept that, because he made no
protest when Krycek began stroking his chest. Krycek began
with slow sweeps, memorizing the play of muscle over
Mulder's chest before focusing on his nipples. Mulder
groaned and pushed his ass tighter against Krycek's groin.
"Easy, baby," Krycek whispered against Mulder's neck. He
gently rolled the brown nub between his fingers. "It's been
a while, hasn't it?"
"Yes." Mulder's whispered and husky with need. "Brining
yourself off isn't quite the same."
"Believe me I know." Krycek's left hand left its relentless
teasing to slide down Mulder's torso. "I spent many lonely
nights wishing I was with you. Touching myself like this,"
Krycek's hand encircled Mulder's cock, "wishing you were."
The hand began a deliberate pumping motion. "And those all
night stakeouts were torture." A wet tongue snaked out to
caress Mulder's earlobe. "I wanted to shove you into the
back seat and screw you until we both saw stars."
Mulder moaned and tossed his head. Krycek grinned and sped
up the motions of his hand. "Alex... no. Not... like...
this."
Krycek's hand immediately stopped stroking him. "I'm sorry,
Mulder. I didn't mean to..."
Mulder laid a finger on Krycek's velvety lips. "It wasn't
that, Alex. I just want you to be deep inside my ass when I
come." He smiled when he heard Krycek's breath catch in his
throat at the image his words provoked. But Krycek didn't
make a move. "You do want to fuck?"
Krycek gently stroked along Mulder's hairline. "I'm afraid
I'll end up hurting you, Mulder. And I don't want to do
that."
Mulder pulled Krycek a little closer. "You can't possibly
hurt me any more than I already have been." He silenced
Krycek's words with a kiss. "Fuck me, Alex. I want to
forget. I *need* to forget."
Krycek groaned and rolled Mulder onto his belly. "Do you
have any lube? Condoms?"
"Top left dresser drawer." Krycek kissed behind Mulder's
ear. Mulder felt the mattress shift as Krycek backed off
the bed. He heard the young man [my lover] rummaging
through the dresser.
"Got 'em." Krycek bounded back to the bed. Mulder shivered
as he heard the rip of foil. Then he felt a slick finger
probing his anus and then glide inside. In reflex, Mulder
tightened down. "Easy, Mulder," Krycek soothed. The finger
began to twist and curl. And when he found what he was
searching for, Mulder thought he had died and gone to
heaven. Krycek pulled out his single finger and attacked
Mulder's prostate with two, rubbing against the gland with
every thrust. After a few minutes of relentless finger
fucking, Krycek withdrew. Mulder, knowing what would come
next, eagerly raised his ass into the air. Krycek placed a
pillow under Mulder's stomach, allowing him easy access to
the swollen cock.
Mulder whimpered when Krycek laid down on top of him. It
felt good, aside from the sexual arousal, to have another
body covering him. Krycek slid his hands up and down
Mulder's sides. "Make me forget, Alex."
Krycek kissed the back of Mulder's ear. With trembling
hands, Krycek placed his cock at Mulder's tight entrance
and began to penetrate. "Oh God, baby. You're so tight,"
Krycek murmured. For Mulder it was part pain, part
pleasure, and complete rapture. And when Krycek put a hand
around Mulder's cock and began to thrust, Mulder's rapture
increased tenfold.
It had been a long time for both men, and release came
quickly - Mulder with a hoarse scream of joy, Krycek with a
quieter but no less pleased grunt. Afterwards, Krycek held
Mulder close, stroking his new lover's body, memorizing its
contours. Neither man spoke, but instead fell asleep
holding each other. Mulder was certain that for once in his
life, he would not be hurt in this relationship.
Mulder had been wrong. Krycek did hurt him worse than
anyone ever had. It had been a knife to the heart to find
the Morley cigarette butts in Krycek's car.
The hiss of static finally brought Mulder back to the here
and now. He had been so caught up in the memory, he had let
the tape play out. Picking up the remote, he reversed it to
the point where he had first zoned out. He watched the
conversation with the volume at full blast, but the audio
feed on the bugs had completely failed.
He watched Krycek head off to his bedroom, and Scully to
the phone. The feed was edited at that point, because the
next scene was Scully rifling through Krycek's clothes. Of
the younger man, there was no sign. [What are you doing
Scully?] He could not figure out why Scully was reacting so
calmly to Krycek's presence in his apartment.
The tape spliced again. Now the scene showed Scully and
Krycek on his bed, eating dinner like they were old
friends. Or that's what he thought until he saw Scully
reach out and place a hand on Krycek's left shoulder, and
Krycek stroke Scully's cheek. [Don't you dare,] he thought,
not certain who the comment was directed towards. And there
was no mistaking his feelings of jealousy and envy when he
saw them kiss. [And what are you upset about? Are you angry
about the fact that Krycek is kissing Scully and 'cheating'
on you? Or that he's doing what you never had the nerve to
do? Or that Scully is kissing Krycek and you want to be the
one kissing him?]
But before he could chase that thought down further, Krycek
lightly touched between Scully's eyes. [Don't act like you
didn't know, bastard,] Mulder thought. [She's dying and
you're part of the reason.] And then he watched as Krycek
got off the bed, collected his jacket, and leave.
And Scully did nothing to stop him.
Mulder shut off the VCR. He leaned back against the
headboard with a thoughtful frown. After his
'resurrection,' he would have a long talk with Scully. And
then he would hunt down Krycek. Either to kill him or to
fuck him.
Mulder wasn't sure which, yet.
The End
