Chapter One Hundred One It was times like this she wished she could still growl. Lindy could make a snarling noise, but she couldn't give the full throated growl she could when she was a werewolf. Which was what she really wanted to do now. Especially when she threw pulled off that new picture ID tag that everyone was forced to wear and tossed it on the counter next to her purse. Nate paused in mid-motion, his bite of macaroni and cheese inches in front of his mouth. "Bad day?" "You don't know the half of it," she muttered. Crossing to the refrigerator, she poured herself a glass of filtered water and drank it greedily. As if her sanity depended on it. Panting slightly, she looked around the room. "Where's Liam?" "I forgot him at the mall. They're sending a replacement." The fact that she didn't acknowledge his joke worried him. Setting down his fork, he got up from the stool and walked over to gently massage her shoulders. "What's the dill, pickle?" Lindy gave a sigh, trying hard not to relax in his talented hands. She wasn't ready to give up her anger just yet. "Lilith decided we needed someone to watch over us at work, and Anton rolled over without protest. First thing she decided was we all needed to wear picture IDs." She picked hers up and tossed it towards him. "And to make things worse, Alex is working with her. I think he actually likes her." "He likes Lilith?" he asked, confused. "No." She sounded annoyed by his inability to keep up with the conversation. "Vandala. She's Lilith's appointed head of security. And she seems to think that gives her license to do whatever she wants. Anton's totally buying it, too!" Nate cleared his throat, trying to hide the smile he felt tugging at his lips. He recognized Lindy's tone. It wasn't just inconvenience she was worried about. "Just what is Anton's opinion? He seems to trust her?" "Yes," Lindy said, sounding like a little girl sulking. "He's implemented all of her ideas without thinking twice. Without thinking about the employee's morale." "Without asking you?" Nate said pointedly. She shot her husband a dirty look. Returning to his leftovers, he took a long drink from his can of Coca-cola. Then stifled a small belch. "You know what it sounds like to me? I think you're jealous." "Jealous! Of what? That woman has nothing to be jealous of. She's an emotionless bitch. She wouldn't know compassion if it bit her on the ass. I can't believe Anton is willing to treat his employees like this." He let out a soft snicker, but didn't say anything as he took a bite of his food. "What?" she asked, hands on her hips. "Anton likes her...Alex likes her...the only one who doesn't is you. You got some rivalry going on and you don't like it one bit." Lindy's frown became even more severe. "I do not have a rivalry with...her." She plopped down on a chair next to Nate. "And you don't believe me one bit, do you?" Giving out a frustrated 'aarrgh' as she pulled her hair. "Why am I acting like such a jealous bitch?" He was about to say something about PMS, but very wisely kept his mouth shut. Instead, he just shrugged. "You're a lot of help, Nate." "What am I supposed to say? That you're right and we should do whatever we can to get rid of her?" He shook his head when he saw her head perk up. "Don't even think about it, Lind. If this is Lilith's directive, there's not a lot you can do about it. You can complain to the Empress about it, but the most she's likely to do is ignore you. Now, maybe if you had Anton's support...you might get somewhere. But I wouldn't count on it. He's being threatened with the loss of his business. He protects that place like a dragon before a treasure." "Yeah. I guess there is nothing I really can do about it." She looked under her bangs at him and caught a triumphant smile on Nate's face. "But it doesn't mean I have to like it!" "Baby, I don't think anyone would be stupid enough to try making you like anything." Losing his appetite, he slid off his stool and put his bowl next to the sink. "I'm going over to get Liam. Are you staying here to pout, or would you like to come along and complain to your mother?" She was tempted to stay and pout, but it was pointless. "I'll come along and complain to Mom." She stood up and walked over to him by the sink. "I hate feeling like this, Nate. Why can't I let it go?" He let out a sigh, wrapping his arms around her and settling his chin on top of her head. "Because you're an alpha bitch and you don't like to give up anything without a fight. Complaining to me and your mom isn't going to get you anywhere. If you want to assert your dominance, do it at the warehouse. Make sure she knows where she stands. And make sure Anton and Alex get that as well." He jerked slightly as a thought came to him. "If you're this way with a stranger, I'd hate to see the bloody battle if Bryn ever tries to take control of her shares." "Nah," she said leaning against him. "I'd probably roll over and bare my throat to her. I'm a pushover when it comes to her." She sighed. "You really think I should try to assert my dominance?" Lindy sounded a bit uncertain. She really hadn't any dominance issues since she had been Transformed, and wasn't certain she could pull it off. "If it will make you feel better. I don't want to go to bed with a grouch every morning. Besides, it sounds like she might be around a while." He yawned, nudging her towards the hallway. "How do you know Alex likes her? I wasn't really aware that Alex 'liked' anyone." "Well, he likes you, believe it or not. And maybe 'like' isn't the right word for it. I think he understands her and vice versa. Spy and counterspy stuff." She let him guide her out the door. "And no, I don't think he's having an affair with her." Nate frowned. He hadn't even been thinking that, but it was obvious she had. At least to some extent. "What made you say that? That's kind of out of the blue, Lind. Was that something you were worried about?" "Not really," she said. "But like you said, he doesn't 'like' anyone, really. But he seemed to have hit it off with her. No, he wouldn't cheat on Jess or Walter, I think, but..." "But? Like I said, it sounds like you're jealous of her. Maybe he's been giving her more attention lately than he has you. It will settle down in a while, once a routine is set up. And if it doesn't, I'll go talk to Anton with you." He squeezed her shoulder. "How does that sound?" "Sounds good." She leaned against him as they walked down the stairs to the walkway between the houses. "Thanks for being so patient with me. You're probably right. I'm just a bit jealous." "Baby, you're talking to a guy who will be a thousand years old in a few years--patience kind of comes with the territory." He paused for a moment, a smile coming to his face. "So does being right." "And modesty too, I see." She laughed when he stuck his tongue out at her. "And can't forget maturity." He was upstairs taking a shower when she finally got around to listening to their voice mail messages. Most of it involved Anton's business and she saved those so he could hear them later. The second to the last, however, was unexpected to say the least. A man's voice was requesting the attention of Ms. Jaegar, the name she hadn't used in over half a year. "It was brought to my attention that you are currently seeking employment with local galleries," he said, his voice deep and somewhat raspy. "I have been an admirer of your work for a long time, and if you would permit me several minutes of your time I would like to try to persuade you to come to work for me, at Nepenthe." She'd never heard of the place, or the man--who'd said his name was Justin Steel--but the offer was definitely intriguing. Taking the stairs two at a time, she hurried back into the bedroom. Max was still asleep, lulled by the sound of rushing water, and she turned up the sound on his baby monitor before heading into the bathroom. She opened the door to the shower, startling Anton so much he jumped. "I got a job offer." His look of surprise turned to one of delight. "That's wonderful news Bryn." Without thinking that he was soaking wet and the shower was still going, he grabbed her waist and hugged her tight. "Where? With who?" She sputtered a bit in the shower spray and quickly untied her robe, tossing it to the floor beyond so it wouldn't get any wetter. Then she returned his hug, feeling him close the glass door behind her. Pushing her damp hair out of her face, she said, "I don't really know who he is. Said his name is Justin Steel, and he works for...Nepathy? Something like that. Anyway, he left a message saying he wanted to meet with me about 'persuading me' to come work for him." She bounced once, breathless with excitement. "He--He knows my work, and said he's been a fan. And it has to have been for a long time, because he asked for Ms. Jaegar. God." She giggled. "I'm--he wants me to call him and set up an appointment. Can you imagine? I nearly dropped the phone!" "That is wonderful news Bryn!" He was glad to see her happy and excited, something that had been sorely missed from their lives the last few weeks. Ignoring the water pounding down, he lifted her up off her feet and swung her around in the relatively small place. "Have you called him back yet, my dear?" She settled her chin on his shoulder, relieved that he was happy for her. "Not yet. I just listened to the message. There are a few from your office, too. I think some of them might be old, though." Pulling back slight, she met his gaze. It was much easier to do now that his eyes were level with hers. "I don't want to get too excited yet. I mean, it might be a totally dump, or he might be a jerk. And it might be a bummer if I have to work days. I'm sure he does most of his selling in the evening, but there's always the chance he'll need me to work during the day...and I don't want a totally opposite schedule than you have." "We'll worry about that when you get the job. Hopefully he'll be understanding about you not working days." He kissed her again. "I told you that someone would see you talent." He nuzzled her ear. "I'll now be able to say I knew you when. And if you don't want to work for this Justin Steel, I'm sure an even better studio will be waiting for you." Bryn wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders, settling heavily against him, her feet still dangling. She had to admit that although she was excited and nervous, a part of her also felt a little bit guilty. He had been expecting her to eventually come to work for him, and it almost felt like an insult to go somewhere else. "Thank you for not being angry. I should've talked to you about this before I did anything about it." "It's okay, Bryn. I'm just happy to see you so excited." He kissed her again, lowering his hands to her ass to support her better. He couldn't help but feel like he was the one who had gotten the job offer, not his wife. "When are you going to call him back? Tonight or wait until the morning?" With her legs wrapped around his waist, she shrugged. "Probably tonight. I can always leave a message if he isn't there. I just want to make sure he knows I'm interested." Keeping one arm around his neck, she reached for the conditioner bottle and squeezed a small amount of the thick liquid on his freshly washed hair. As she massaged it in and ran her fingers through his thick locks, she said, "You know this means I might need some new clothes. Depending on what his dress policy is, I might need some suits or dresses. And definitely some new, comfortable shoes" She thought for a moment, her brow furrowed. "Actually, he never really said what he wanted me to do. I had applied for a sales position at the other stores, and a floor manager for another one...but he only mentioned that he'd been informed I was looking for a job. For all I know, he could want me to do anything from paint to scrub his floors." "I'm sure he'd want you to do more than scrub his floors. Especially if he used your maiden name." Anton practically purred as she massaged the conditioner deep into his scalp. "And as for clothes, we'll have to go shopping. I think Max could use some new things too." Freeing one hand, he started to trace up and down her spine. "And you need some new shirts...so I can steal them." She grinned at him. Adjusting the way she was 'seated', she leaned closer and kissed his forehead. "So you have no objections to me getting nice new clothes and going off to wear them for another man?" Anton appeared to think about that for a moment. "I'll be happy as long as I'm the only one who gets to take them off of you." He kissed her again, starting to lick at her lips. He let her body slide down slightly, not only so he could feel the rasp of their skin rubbing together, but so she could feel the head of his cock nudging her thigh. Bryn shivered slightly, ceasing the movement of her hand. Coaxing his lips open with her tongue, she darted inside his mouth and kissed him deeply. With gentle motion, she tilted his head back until it was directly under the spray and began washing away the slippery conditioner. His hair was getting long enough to wrap around her fingers and she couldn't resist twirling it around her pinky. Rocking her hips back and forth, she subtly moved herself against the head of his cock. Hoping to ignite his passion more powerfully. Anton let her have her way with him, enjoying the feel of her wet, slippery body pressed against him. "All done washing my hair? Good." He turned stumbled forward then, until her back was pressed against the wall. "Sorry we haven't gotten the detachable showerhead yet, my dear," he whispered in her ear before latching onto her earlobe. Whimpering, she slid a bit lower and teased herself with the strength of his erection. He was so hard she could feel him trying to fill her even without a thrust from his hips. Sliding the length of her sex over the head of his cock, she tingled in anticipation...wondering if he would heedlessly pierce into her or torture and tease her by making her wait. "Mmm...I missed your big, hard cock..." Anton squirmed, lightly rubbing against her slickness. "I missed your wet, hot sex, your firm breasts, and your very talented mouth." He let his hips give a shallow push, lightly rubbing the head of his cock against her opening. His mouth found hers and his tongue penetrated her instead. Toes curling, she couldn't stand it anymore. Smashing her breasts against his chest, and her lips against his, she thrust her hips forward and impaled herself on his cock. She shuddered, and felt him do the same. Savoring the way he stretched her, she slid down his length completely, her muscles gripping and relaxing, gently massaging him inside her. Bryn pulled away from his mouth, panting softly. "You feel so damned good. Almost too good to be true." "But you're the one that looks like a waking dream, Bryn." Anton closed his eyes, concentrating on the feel of her against and around him. Slowly he began to move as he kissed her again, pushing her against the shower wall. His hands gripped her tightly, and if he wasn't careful, he'd leave bruises on her silken flesh. She felt like a peach in his hands; soft, delicate, sweet, and juicy. He held her open wide, exploring with his mouth and cock, stabbing deep in her sex. Moaning, she struggled to keep her grip on his wet skin. Straining to kiss harder, squeeze him tighter. "I wish...you could feel what I feel when we make love. I don't know how...but you make me feel...like a sex goddess...and an angel...a little girl...and a nurturer, all at the same time. Mmmph! And a total nymphomaniac, too!" He arched his back to get deeper into her. Anton gave a groan at her words. "You're as much a piece of art as the paintings you paint, Bryn. Every time I see you naked, I want to fall on my knees in worship." He began nipping at the soft skin just below the angle of her jaw. His thrusts came faster, although still gentle. Gasping, she closed her eyes and hugged him even tighter. She still wasn't quite sure what he was seeing when he looked at her, but his compliments made her feel beautiful and that was all that really mattered. Trying to move her hips against him as much as she could, she tilted her head back and concentrated on the feel of him inside her, filling her, easing the ache only by creating a different one. "Sometimes I wish I could see through your eyes." "Sometimes I wish I could paint like you do Bryn," he whispered in her ear. "Because then I could show you how beautiful you are. The way your skin glows in the darkness. How your lips are as ripe as cherries. How your hair is softer than the finest mink fur. How the starlight reflects in your eyes. And it would only be a pale shadow of your beauty." Swallowing, Bryn wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her nose to his wet hair. [Who are you, my generous vampire lover? Where did you come from? How could I ever have gotten this lucky, this blessed, to have you in my life?] Her voice thick with emotion, she softly said, "I love you so much it hurts. So much I forget to breathe, and my heart stands still, just from the very mention of your name. The very thought of you." "I die a little each time I'm parted from you, even if it's just for a moment." Now he started to add a side to side movement . His breathing grew harsher, feeling her sex suck on his cock. Giving up on talking for a moment, he began to kiss her neck, nipping on the soft flesh, trying to hold off his orgasm until she came first. Biting her lip, Bryn shivered with each revolution of his hips, wishing she could spread her legs further still, or that she could pull his whole body inside her. She was always hungry for more of him, even though he filled her completely. Wanted more of his time, even though he was with her more often than not. Needed more of his passion, even though he did his best to shower her with affection. She wasn't sure she'd ever get enough of him, or that she'd ever want to. Squeezing him tightly, continuously, she whispered, "Harder, sugar...fuck me until it hurts." He didn't think that he could thrust any harder. Yet he somehow managed, pinning her tighter against the wall and he freed one hand. He had little finesse as he rubbed at her clit. He was too close to cumming himself while trying to give Bryn exactly what she wanted. Biting his lip as she clenched his cock tighter, he gave out a shout that trailed off into a long moan. She was biting into her lip so hard she thought she might draw blood, straining to reach a climax, but the intensity building up inside her seemed to skip right past ecstasy, landing in a zone where his touch was suddenly too much to bear. Groaning in frustration, she pulled his hand away from her and settled limply against the wall. Part of her wanted to cry, another part wanted to scream, but the rest of her just wanted to put her feet back down on the floor. Unclasping her legs around him, she let his softening cock slip out of her. "I'm sorry. I don't know why that keeps happening." Anton slowly lowered her to the ground, but didn't move away. "Shhhh...It's okay, Bryn." Still holding her hips, he slowly kissed her body as he lowered to his knees. "It's not your fault. You just need a little more attention..." He kissed the underside curve of her breast before nipping her stomach. "...of a slightly different nature." He settled down on his knees, spreading her sex open with his fingers again. Inhaling deeply, he placed a light kiss just above her clit, shuddering at the taste of her. She stared down at him, shivering lightly, worried...that she was already overstimulated...or it wouldn't work...or worse yet that he would blame himself for her inability to cum. He glanced up at her as he touched her with his tongue. Teasingly lapping the crease of her thigh, the outer lips of her sex, everywhere but where she'd expected him to. He knew without a word from her that he would have to start all over again, to slowly rebuilt the fire that had suddenly smothered. He seemed to be the perfect lover at that moment--and it was bit humbling to realize that he'd learned it from her, so many decades and centuries before. He continue to worship her, letting his hands slide down to cup her ass and his thumbs rub over her hipbones. He made sure his lips and tongue caressed every part of her but her clit. The only stimulation it got was the accidental breath of air he blew out as he breathed. Anton kept his eyes open and locked on hers, watching her every reaction. Whimpering, she settled her hand on the back of his head for balance, even though he was already holding her upright. Legs spread, she thrust her hips forward, offering herself to him, exposing more of her wet sex. She couldn't stop shuddering. He licked at her inner labia, pulling each one into his mouth and sucking. His tongue danced over the hood of her clit, coming so close yet so far away. Breath catching, she felt his hands shift lower, sliding over her ass, before spreading her open from behind. Exposing her sensitive opening...making her jolt in anticipation. He continued to lap at her, fingers just circling around her opening. But he didn't delve in yet. Nor did he lap at her clit yet. She was squirming, but not quite frantic yet. He returned to her labia, tracing over the wet flesh again. Moving slowly, his right hand traced a path up her body slowly until he was cupping her breast. Gently he squeezed, feeling the hardened nipple press into his palm. Her hips twitched and she felt fresh moisture spill from her excited sex. Bryn moaned as he moved his mouth down to catch it, tongue swirling around the opening of her sex...and she thought if she just jerked her hips he would accidentally stab inside. But he held her too securely, and she was left fighting his grip. Fingers tightly grabbing his hair, she lifted her thigh over his shoulder, practically throwing herself at him, and groaning as her slick leg kept sliding down. Anton held her solidly as she couldn't keep her balance. Relentlessly he continued to lap at her opening, listening to her frustrated cries. She was just about ready. Holding her leg over his shoulder so she wouldn't accidentally kick him, Anton plunged his tongue inside her sex, moaning at their mingled taste. Bryn cried out, grasping at the wall, her sex immediately squeezing around his tongue. Moaning almost continuously now, she rocked her hips against his face. Shuddering and squirming. She was nearly melting around him and couldn't imagine it could get much better...until he withdraw to tongue her clit. "Anton!" He kept alternating between light rapid flicks followed by firm swipes of his tongue, not setting a deliberate rhythm. He couldn't help but gasp when her hand fisted in his hair. Smiling at her reaction, he continued to lap at her, not letting up. She was writhing against the wall, pushing uselessly with the foot still on the floor. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to get away from the intense pleasure or shove herself even closer. Helplessly whining, she felt one orgasm slip away and be quickly replaced with another. And another. Until her whole body was shuddering uncontrollably, and her last bit of strength was used to place her palm against his forehead and push him away from her oversensitized sex. His first instinct was to dive back, but he pulled away. Anton held her, supporting her weight. as he stood up. He kissed her lips lightly, just now realizing that the shower was still running full force. "Better?" he whispered. She let out a soft whimper, leaning heavily against him. It felt like her legs were made out of jelly. She wanted nothing more than for him to pick her up and carry her back to bed...but she knew that wasn't likely. As he reached past her to shut off the water, she croaked, "Water. I need a glass of water and everything will be better. Mmm, and maybe something warm to curl up in." Licking her lips, she turned her head and kissed his chest. "You're always so good to me, sugar." Anton kissed her forehead. He opened the door to the shower, watching the steam billow out. Grabbing a towel, he started to dry her off and then grabbed the robe she had discarded earlier. Then swabbing himself off, Anton grabbed a cup from the bathroom sink and filled it with water before offering it to her. She shivered, gathering the robe around her and drinking the water almost too quickly. She coughed a bit, but drank the rest without a problem. Leaning against the counter, she watched him towel off, her eyes sliding over his body, but mostly noticing his arms. She wanted to be there, held securely, protected so completely, and loved surely. "Anton...I'm scared. About the interview. I've never done anything like that before. And lately, I think my people skills reach their limit at baby talk. I'm terrified...even to make the phone call to tell him I'm interested." "Bryn, you will do fine." Anton walked over to her and put his arms around her, holding her close. "From the way I see it, you're in the position of power." "What do you mean?" "He said that he was familiar with your work, and wanted to speak with you. That means he has to be very interested in having you work for him. If it were just a regular interview, he wouldn't have bothered saying that. He probably wouldn't have called directly and had his assistant make the appointment." He hugged her tighter and rocked her back and forth. "I know you can do this, Bryn." Grateful she hadn't tied the sash on her robe, she melted against the heat of his skin, pressing her cheek to his chest, and gently swaying to his rhythm. He was like a miracle drug--all she needed was a small dose and she began to relax. A larger dose was like a morphine drip. "Will you stay? Just long enough for me to make the call? It would really make me feel better." "Of course, Bryn," he said, still rocking her. Slowly he walked her over to the bed so he could sit on it, her in his lap. He tried to soothe her, reassure her, make her feel confident. Make her see the beautiful, talented woman that she was. He hoped that this interview and job would do so. She felt like purring. Anton's lap was her very favorite place to sit, and she felt so warm and cozy with his arms around her. She could've fallen back to sleep if it hadn't been for Max's whimpers. Suddenly aware that the shower had stopped running, he lifted his head and looked around, his face scrunching in the precursor of a wail. Frowning slightly, Bryn got to her feet. "It's okay, sweet pea. We're right here." Bending down, she plucked him out of his portable crib and settled him on his back in her arms. "I bet you're hungry, aren't you?" She glanced over at Anton, saying, "I don't know if I should just feed him or go down and make a bottle." Anton glanced down at his son, and gently rubbed his head. "I guess we should make him a bottle. I can see if he'll feed from me while you make up the bottle." Max didn't appear to like that idea, making a face before letting out a loud wail. "Or maybe not." Bryn winced, having her typical reaction to hearing him cry--she started leaking. "Damn," she said softly, pushing her robe away from her breasts. She'd been planning on using a breast pump to relieve her slight soreness, but as long as Max was hungry she supposed it would be best to feed him now. Settling back down on Anton's lap, she reached for their son and situated him against her chest. "Guess weaning him is going to have to wait a little bit longer. Do you need to get dressed, sugar?" Anton sighed. He wished he could stay here for the rest of the night, holding his wife and son. But he had a meeting scheduled with Alex and Vandala, Lindy had emailed him a brief note saying that she wanted to speak with him privately, and he needed to be on hand for the investigation. Sometimes it just sucked being responsible. "I'm afraid so, my dear." Although disappointed, she slid off his lap without protest. She knew how important it was for him to be at work during the drug investigation...and he loved his business. It would be silly to keep him from it. "Okay. I'll go downstairs and fix you something to eat before you go. I'm sure Max won't mind too much. He's pretty much dead to the world when he's eating." He held onto her shoulders lightly, keeping her from leaving. "But first, I want you to do two things for me." "What's that?" "Kiss me and make that phone call." She made a face. "Do I have to?" "Thanks a lot!" "No, I didn't mean the kiss." Leaning closer, she softly pressed her lips to his and allowed him to slip his tongue into her mouth. She let out a moan, dragging him closer, careful to keep from squeezing Max between them. Admittedly, she hadn't kissed many people--two--but her husband's kiss was by far the best one she'd ever had. He did obscene things to her, worshipped her, and left her breathless. He pulled away with a lingering suck on her lower lip, leaving her staring at him with dazed eyes. "Oh, that was nice..." "Yes it was," he murmured. He could never get enough of her kisses. He was addicted to them the way some men became addicted to drugs. One taste and he had been hooked. He gently caressed her cheek with his palm. "And the call? Do you want to do that before you make me breakfast or after?" Again, she made a face. "Before...I guess. I left the number downstairs, though." She said it, as if that were her out. Seeing that he wasn't about to let her chicken out, she got up and headed towards the door. "Okay, I'll go do it." Anton smiled. "You'll do wonderful, Bryn. I just know it." He stood up and headed over to the closet. "I'll be dressed in a few minutes, if you want to wait until I'm down there to make the call." She nodded and smiled gratefully. Watching him from the doorway, she felt her heart flutter. [He loves me so much...I hope I never doubt that again.] Taking a deep breath, she turned and went to the stairs. Lindy took a deep breath as she returned from her mother's house. She had dropped off Liam there a few minutes ago so she and Nate could have some uninterrupted time. Unfortunately, it wasn't exactly the uninterrupted time she wanted. She had been so stressed lately, she was having troubled dreams again. Mostly the same nightmare about her mother and her abuser She didn't want to go through the whole cycle of depression and sleeplessness again, so she and Nate had made an appointment with Mulder. Lindy opened the door, calling out as she went through it. "Mulder here yet, Nate?" "I'm here," Mulder called out, instead. It was quiet in the living room until Lindy stepped around the corner. She saw Mulder seated in the recliner and smiled, walking over to give him a quick hug. "How have you been?" "I should be the one asking you that question." He gave her quirky smirk. "I've been settling in quite nicely. I was just thanking Nate once again for letting me use the townhouse. It's a cozy little place. It's too bad you don't have that mural on your ceiling here." "Yeah. We're talking about asking Bryn to paint one here too. We were going to wait until she wasn't pregnant or nursing Max." She took seat on the couch as Mulder sat down again in the recliner. "So where is my husband anyway?" "Feeding the cat...or so he said. Secretly, I think he was trying to escape my probing questions." She arched an eyebrow. "Probing questions? Are you starting without me?" "Well, you know...I asked him how he'd been, if he keeps up with local hockey, where he bought the kitchen appliances at the townhouse. Those sorts of probing questions." Lindy grinned. She heard Nate's footsteps just then, walking through the kitchen. "So I heard Mulder gave you the third degree?" Nate frowned. "He did?" "Never mind," Mulder said, chuckling. "Are you two ready to get started, or do you want a little more time to relax?" Plopping down on the couch next to Lindy, Nate propped his feet up on the coffee table and casually laid his arm across the back of the couch. "I'm ready when you are." Mulder sat back, adopting a casual pose. "So I understand things have been stressful here lately." "Yeah," Lindy said with a sigh. "A stash of drugs was found in one of our shipments. The Feds investigating think that someone at the warehouse might be involved, but they won't say who. They've been all over the office, asking to see all our records for the last seven years." "And how have you been, Lindy?" "Stressed. It was discovered when Anton was out of town on a personal emergency, so most of it fell to me to take care of it." "It sounds like he might need to schedule an appointment with me, too. But I doubt he'd admit it." Focusing his attention back on Lindy, he said, "How have you been dealing with the stress? Are you able to get some of it out of your system, maybe by exercising, or taking a bath...or do you hold it all inside?" Nate watched Lindy's face, hoping she'd be truthful. After a deep sigh, he got his wish. "You know I have a tendency to hold things in. It wasn't any different this time. I've been trying really hard not to bring my work home with me," she said, glancing at Nate, "but it doesn't always work. I just keep getting more frustrated every night. These people may be our employees, but they're also my friends. And it...hurts to think any of them could've done something like this." Mulder nodded. "And you wonder how you could have missed something like that, if your coworkers are involved? How your judgment could have failed?" Lindy nodded. "Yeah. I keep thinking I would have picked up on something if one of our people were involved. That I should have smelled one of them being deceptive, since most of them were hired while I was a werewolf." "And maybe they were straight arrows until recently. You can't fault yourself for someone else's mistakes, Lindy. If the detectives are having a hard time proving their case, why would you think you could do it any better?" He let that sink in for a minute before leaning forward. "Are you having doubts now, about the employees? Is there someone you suspect?" "That's just it. I don't know who. Just about everyone's a suspect." She shook her head. "It could have been anyone, since that section of the warehouse wasn't secured like we do for the smaller and more valuable pieces. And as much as I think I should let this go, I can't. I'm not sleeping well." Lindy took a deep breath. "And I'm having nightmares again." He nodded. "I'm not surprised. Stress often follows us into our dreams, which only results in more stress from loss of sleep and anxiety. Have you been having headaches, migraines, sore muscles, changes in appetite?" "Yes. And that dream is back." "You've got a few similar situations going on...loss of control, feelings of betrayal, helplessness. Do you want to talk about it?" "Not really." Lindy leaned forward, elbows on her knees, hands clasped together as they dangled from her wrists. "It starts earlier this time. And I don't think it's a dream. I think it's a memory." She stared down at the floor for a moment. Despite her husband sitting next to her, she hadn't felt this alone in a long time. "The dream starts earlier. A young woman talking to a man at the door and then turns around to ask me what I'm doing out of bed. Then my molester breaks down the door and the lights go out...that's where it usually begins." She shuddered. "I think he killed my biological mother." "This is a repeated dream, right?" She nodded. "More than once a week?" "Sometimes for several days in a row." "I know you're not going to like the sound of this, but I think it might be beneficial if we explore this further. With hypnosis. Would you be willing to give it a try?" She gave Nate a wry grin. "Hopefully what happened the last time someone hypnotized me won't be repeated." That would be all she'd need now. Another traumatic past life experience. "But let's give it a try and see what happens." Mulder arched an eyebrow, but didn't ask. "Since you already have some experience, why don't you go ahead and start to relax. If you'd like to lay back in the recliner, you can sit here...or maybe lay down with your legs over Nathaniel's." Nate patted his lap, as if in agreement. Turning lengthwise on the couch, she sank down on to her back and settled her legs over Nate's lap. She felt him immediately grasp her shin with one hand, grounding and comforting her. She gave him a small smile before closing her eyes. As Mulder talked her through relaxation and floating to her safe place, Nate's touch gave her just the security she needed to settle herself completely. "Lindy, I want you to start thinking about your dream. You are very aware that the events are not happening now, that you are completely safe and protected now. You float lazily in your safe place, with no worries, just thinking about the dream. You are weightless, no aches or pains, no fear whatsoever. Viewing your dream, as if watching an old movie. Where does the movie start, Lindy?" "I'm little. Maybe four years old, barely. I'm thirsty and I want a drink of water. So I go looking for Mama." "For Jess." Mulder confirmed. Lindy shook her head slightly. "No, this woman's different. She's taller. Long blond hair. Green eyes." "Do you find your mama?" Lindy nodded. "She's in the living room. We're in an apartment. And she's talking to a man at the door. She still had the safety chain attached to the door. She doesn't know that I'm there." "What is she saying to the man, Lindy?" "I can't quite hear her, but I do hear her say 'police.' Then she slams the door. Mama turns around and looks at me. She's surprised I'm out of bed and says 'What are you doing out of bed, Janey?'" "Who's Janey, Lindy?" "I'm Janey, Jane. That's my name in the dream." She paused and frowned, starting to shake a little. She knew what would be coming next. "I hear the sound of wood splintering." Nate began gently rubbing his hand up and down her calf, reminding her of his presence as unobtrusively as he could. "Why don't you push pause on that dream movie, okay, Lindy? I want you to take a look around your safe place and remember where you are. Nothing can hurt you here, right? It's like your own little world, surrounded by huge walls of steel, with one door, and only you have the key. No one else can open that door--they have to be invited. And you don't have to invite anyone in. So relax, take a deep breath, and when you're ready you can start the movie again." Lindy took a deep breath, settling deeper into the couch. It was three minutes before she spoke again. "The wood splintering is the front door giving way. Ripped from its hinges. I can see him standing there, Changed, and with murder and lust shining in his eyes. He doesn't turn off the lights to the apartment so much as total the switch with one punch, but everything goes black just after Mama yells at me to run. Lindy's breath came faster, as if she were running like she had been told. "I think if I can make it to my bedroom closet, I'll be safe there. Mama never finds me when I hide in my closet. She always acts scared when I jump out and yell 'boo!' But I can't see in the dark. Mama's screaming, but then she stops suddenly." Lindy paused. "I hear a wet slap and then I sorta hear a gurgling sound, but I'm not sure cause it disappears fast too. I've got my hand on the doorknob, ready to run into my room when I feel the floor beneath me shake. Then I'm off my feet. Something's holding me tight. I can feel claws digging into my sides. And all I can hear is this horrible growly chuckle..." She drew in a shuddering breath. "And that's when I wake up screaming." Nate scowled, once again wishing that her abuser wasn't already dead. He wanted to do the deed himself, cruelly, so very slowly, and more painfully than anyone could possibly endure. He wanted to cut off the guy's genitals with a dull razor, slice them in tiny slivers right in front of him, and force him to eat the bloody pieces raw. He wanted to break his fingers one-by-one--no, not just break them, pulverize them with repeated blows from ball-peen hammer. He wanted to cut pieces out of the bastard's flesh, slowly, carving away chunks to shove down his throat. He wanted to stab his eyes out with-- "What is the very first memory you have of being alone with the werewolf?" Mulder asked, interrupting Nate's train of thought. "I'm five years old. I'm in bed when he comes in. He's carrying a dress. It's pink and frilly, a little girl's party dress. He says because I was such a good girl last night, I've earned the dress as a reward. But even though it's so pretty, I don't want to put it on. He'll just take it off me later on and I'll never see it again." Squeezing her calf gently, Nate closed his eyes. [Please stop this. Don't make her relive it. Once was bad enough. Once was too much.] "Where are you, Lindy? Did he take you to his home or a hideout somewhere?" "His home, I think," she said, very quietly. "And the only thing he ever told you about your mother was that she gave you up." She nodded, miserably. Mulder sighed softly. "I want to take you back to that closet, where you said you used to jump out at the woman and yell 'boo'. How do you know you did before? Do you remember, or visual, yourself doing that?" "It's a memory tucked inside the dream. And it's the only positive memory I have of her. I've tried to remember her, but I come up with nothing." A tear ran down her cheek. "And I feel horrible that I believed his lies without question. That I didn't think she loved me. She died trying to save me, and I thought she gave me up." Nate started to reach for her, not really caring if Mulder protested, but he saw that the man nodded in agreement. Pulling her into his arms and onto his lap, Nate gently rubbed Lindy's back, lightly rocking her, with his lips placing repeated kisses on her face. "Lindy," Mulder said, "you had gone through a severe trauma and were still very deep in it when he told you those things about your mother. It sounds to me like all of your memories were forgotten--stress-induced amnesia. You were scared, alone, and no one else to save you. And he had a very strong control on your mind. You were a little girl, terrorized, and you would've believed *any* story he concocted. It was his fault, all of it, and I'll bet you your mother knows it. Knows it, and would never blame you for anything." Lindy drew in a shuddering breath, leaning heavily against Nate. He was warm and solid and real, more of a comfort to her right now than he could ever realize. And she was tired of talking about her molester, of going back to that dark time in her life. She was almost curled up into the fetus position, trying to get closer to Nate. "I don't think I want to remember anything else tonight." "It's okay. You don't have to," Nate whispered, his lips close to her ear. Sensing her need retreat into her own 'shell', he grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch. Pulling her legs in close, he tucked the blanket tightly around the small ball her body made, then wrapped his arms tightly around her, enveloping her in a warm cocoon. Unbeknownst to her, Mulder waved to get Nate's attention and tipped his head towards the door to indicate he'd leave them alone. Tucking in the three middle fingers of his hand, he mimed for Nate to call him later. Then he left, practically unnoticed. "It's all right, baby. We're all done with that now. Just close your eyes and relax. You're safe with me." Lindy stopped shivering, but stayed tucked close to Nate. Tears were sliding down her cheeks silently. She rested her cheek against his shoulder. He was right. She was safe with him. He was one of the few people right now that she would feel safe with. She tilted her head slightly and kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Nathaniel." He kissed the bridge of her nose, lingering there, as his thumb lightly swept away her tears. "Do you want me to tuck you into bed? Or maybe a warm bath? I'll be glad to come with you." "A warm bath sounds good. Then could you tuck me into bed?" She felt tired, emotionally exhausted. She wasn't sure that she'd be able to stay awake through the bath. But she made no move to get off his lap. "Absolutely." Slipping an arm under her knees and one around her back, he scooted forward and lifted her as he stood up. He had to carefully navigate his way through the maze of Liam's toys, but eventually made it to the stairs and began to climb. "I'm proud of you, baby. I hope you know that. And Mulder was right--no one is ever going to blame you for forgetting your real mother. You remember her now, and you know better. That's the only thing that matters." Lindy nodded, leaning against him heavily still. Her eyes were shut and she was breathing heavily. "I just wish I could remember more about her. I guess I should be glad about what I do remember, since I was so young." He pushed open the door to their bedroom, carrying her inside and towards the bathroom. "Hopefully more will come back. Just give it time. You've got more than enough of that." Setting her down on her feet, he wrapped the blanket around her shoulders to keep her warm while he started the water running. She looked small and vulnerable as she shivered, her hair hanging in her face. Once the water reached a reasonable temperature, he plugged the drain and stood up to wrap her in his embrace again. "I love you, Alinda. So very, very much." She clung to him tightly, almost as if she was afraid that he'd disappear too. "I love you too, Nathaniel, very, very much." She slipped the blanket off her shoulders and started unbuttoning her blouse. "I just wish that it wouldn't take so much out of me. I feel like I've run a marathon." He brushed her hands away, taking care of the task for her. "It's all right. Just let me take care of you. If you fall asleep, that's okay too. I'll dry you off, tuck you into bed, and then I'll call your mom and see if she can keep Liam overnight. All you have to do is relax." It took her a good twenty minutes to find the place once she was in the city. She was grateful her car had air conditioning, because she was sweating like crazy. She only hoped she wouldn't have stains on her dress. Bryn had to look down to remember what she was wearing--a charcoal gray shirtdress with white collar and cuffs. It had been the fifth outfit she tried on. With the interview on such short notice--the very same night she'd made the phone call--she hadn't been able to buy anything new. Palms wet, she pulled into a parking spot on the street and quickly got out of the car. [I'm late...I probably stink...I can't stop shaking...I may pee my pants...this guy is going to hate me!] Hurrying on the sidewalk, nearly twisting her ankle [I never should've worn heels!], she ran towards Nepenthe...then slowed her step to try and look casual as she opened the door. The first thing she saw were boxes and crates everywhere. The walls were nearly bare, some areas were still being painted, and couple of barely-dressed men were moving furniture. She mentally cringed as they stared at her. [I knew it! I look like a train wreck...] Swallowing heavily, she focused on the gray-haired man standing with his back to her as he stared at a sculpture. He was well-dressed and looked more official then the rest. Hopefully this was Justin Steel. Straightening her dress, taking a deep breath, and carefully crossing the glossy wooden floor, Bryn cleared her throat. "Excuse me? My name is Sabryn Rudenko. I have an appointment to see the owner." The man slowly turned to face her. Bryn was reminded oddly of Anton. Both men had a slightly autocratic air to them. Whereas Anton seemed to play it down for the most part, this man seemed well aware of his power, and made no move to hide it. "Ah, yes, Mrs. Rudenko," he said as he took her hand. "Welcome to Nepenthe. I am Justin Steel. And let me say that it is an honor and a privilege to meet such a talented artist." He gestured down the hallway towards a set of oak double doors. "Please, excuse the disorder, and let me show you to my office. We have much to discuss." She smiled, nodding. "I'm pretty used to disorder. I have a little boy at home. And I'm sure his messes are only going to get bigger. Um, not that this place is a mess. I wouldn't call it that." She stepped over a small pile of hand tools, almost negating her comment. "Just a little chaotic for now. Like Picasso in motion, that sort of thing." [Shut up, already!] "Um, it's nice to meet you too, by the way." He nodded, holding the door open and gesturing her to go before him. "Please. After you." Closing the door behind him, he lead her to a plush set of offices. Unlike the front, this area was fully painted and furnished. He lead her to the largest of the offices, a corner one, and again gestured her in. "May I get you anything? Some coffee perhaps?" "No, thank you." There was no sense in adding to her jitters. Walking across the carpeted floor, she stopped in front of one of the chairs and waited for him to near his desk before sitting down. Crossing her legs at her ankles, a hopefully more lady-like pose, she settled her purse on the floor. Her throat was dry. And she forced herself to stop chewing on her lip before all of her lipstick was gone. It was hard to meet his gaze--those probing blue-green eyes seemed to look straight through her. "This might be a bad time to mention it, but I'm not really sure what position it is you want me to interview for." "That is understandable, since I did not mention it in my phone call." He took a seat behind the redwood desk. "An acquaintance of mine, knowing that I am an admirer of your work, alerted me that you had been applying at the local galleries. I took it on myself to call you, not wanting to see your talents go to waste." Justin clasped his hands on the desk, leaning forward on his elbows. "I am in need of sale staff and a floor manager. I want people who are actually part of the current art scene, people who know firsthand the struggles up and coming artists go through. Of course, if you're not familiar with the local talent, you would be introduced and made familiar with their portfolios. Training would be provided as well." "Are you interested, Mrs. Rudenko?" She almost snorted. "Y-Yes, of course!" Trying to contain her excitement, she reminded herself that she didn't have the job yet. This was an interview, after all. And she did have a few requests that he might not be able to meet. "I should tell you that I was originally looking for part-time work, so I can be home to take care of my son...and I would prefer to work evenings. But I can work around both of those, if you need something different." "Neither of those are any great difficulty, Mrs. Rudenko. There may be the occasional afternoon that you will be required to work, before showings and so forth. And part time was what I had in mind for the sales staff. Some of them are taking classes as well as still painting and sculpting. And if you care to do so, you may also present any of your works you wish to put up for sale here, on a commission basis, of course." He sat back. "Your beautiful paintings, as well as your beautiful presence, will fit in here nicely, if I may be so bold." She was so focused on what he'd said about selling her paintings that she almost missed the compliment. But she blushed all the same. "Thank you," she said, quietly. "I never imagined that I would have my paintings in a San Francisco gallery. The idea is a little intimidating." Not waiting for him to respond, she said, "Is there anything you want to know about me? I'm not complaining, but I guess I expected this to be more difficult. More like an audition or something." Justin gave her an almost paternalistic smile. "Your work does speak for yourself. But do tell me, do you have any formal education? And I believe you mentioned a son earlier? From your name change, I would assume you are happily married." "Yes, I am. You might know of my husband, actually. He owns Rudenko's Antiques." She didn't mention the problems Anton's business was having. If Mr. Steel didn't already know about them, she certainly didn't want to be the one to inform him. "Our son, Max, is three months old and growing like a weed. I haven't painted very much since Anton and I married--most of my inspiration to paint comes from a need to purge sadness. I haven't felt much of that lately." She smiled. "I don't really have a formal education--I took a couple of college classes, but I never finished them. I may go back to school some day, but for now my attention is mainly focused on my family." "I have heard of Rudenko's Antiques, but did not make the connection between your name and it." Justin looked her over from head to toe, as if making a final assessment. "I believe you will fit in well here, Mrs. Rudenko. What you lack in education is made up for in your real world experience, and with a little training, you will be up to speed in no time. If you do decide to take the job, it is yours." She swallowed heavily, resisting the urge to ask what the catch was. Instead, she embraced her good fortune for what it was and gave him a bright smile. "Thank you, Mr. Steel, I think I will." Letting out a soft giggle, she pressed a hand to her chest. "I can't tell you how terrified I was walking in here. I can't believe this. Thank you so much. You won't regret this, I promise." Justin gave her another of those enigmatic smiles. "I don't believe either of us will." She'd never before favored the stairs, but this time the elevator was just too slow. Taking the steps two at a time, she rushed up to the second floor unescorted and shoved her way through the heavy stairwell door. Despite the odd looks from a few remaining employees, she nearly ran to his office and opened the door without knocking. His look of shock was priceless, and all she could do was grin so wide she thought her face might split. "I got it!" "The job?" Anton stood up from his desk, a wide smile on his face. "I knew you would, my dear. That's wonderful news." He scooped her up against his chest in a hug, twirling her around in a circle. She looked absolutely ecstatic, and he hoped this would help her with her self-confidence. "Have you accepted the position? And what is the position?" Bryn hugged him tightly, so grateful for the faith he had in her. She wasn't sure if she even would've called Mr. Steel back that day, if it hadn't been for Anton's insistence. Pulling back slightly, she kissed his lips. "Yes, I accepted! I'm officially a salesperson. But he said that if I catch on quickly, there's a good chance I could be promoted to floor manager." She grinned. "He wants me to get started as soon as possible--tomorrow night--so I can start getting acquainted with the artists. The gallery isn't even open yet, but I'm being paid to learn!" Bryn squeaked with excitement. "I get my own desk, and get this--he said I can even have my paintings on display for sale! Isn't that cool?" "That is wonderful, Bryn!" He guided her over to the desk and sat down on his chair, pulling her onto his lap. "You're starting tomorrow? So soon? And what hours?" He was worried that she'd draw a dayshift, but that couldn't be helped. She looked so happy, and sounded so confident, he couldn't help but smile widely as he kissed her. "Mmm..." She lingered against his mouth, her hand caressing his cheek. Still smiling herself, she said, "Yes, so soon. It makes me really nervous, especially about being away from Max for so long, but I want to at least look like I know what I'm talking about when the customers start coming in. And Mr. Steel assured me that working evenings isn't a problem at all. He said I may need to come in early on days when there is a special showing, but I'll know about it ahead of time." She slipped her heels off and let them fall to the floor. "I'll definitely need to go shopping soon, though. I don't think my wardrobe of jeans and sweatpants is going to cut it." "I think you're right," Anton said, letting his hand come to rest on her hip. "Maybe you should go out tomorrow before work, and ask Jess to go with you?" He leaned his head against hers. "That's great news that you can work nights. We'll have to ask if the werewolves or Nathaniel would be able to baby sit for us." She nodded quietly. "It will probably mean getting up earlier every night. I don't know if I'll have time to make anything fancy for breakfast. And...you might have to take Max over to Nate's or Jess's house. Are you sure this isn't going to be too much of an inconvenience?" "No, Bryn. I'm flexible. I thought I proved that to you the other night," he added with a grin. "Bryn, if this is something you want, I'll adapt to a new schedule." He gently stroked her back. "I'm so happy you've gotten this job. It sounds like it is just perfect for you." "Thank you." She settled her head against his shoulder, suddenly feeling exhausted. All of her nervous energy was finally starting to dissipate. "I feel bad for Max. We just get home and now he has to be shipped off to the relatives all over again. If I come home tomorrow and he's upset, I'm quitting the job. I don't want it that much. I'd rather be a stay-at-home mom than neglect him." His hand moved from her back to her head. "Bryn, you can do whatever you want to. If you want to quit this job the day after tomorrow, that is fine with me. If you want to wait for a few months, or a few years, and then try again, that's fine too." He kissed her temple. "I just want you to do what makes you happy. And I don't think you'd ever neglect Max." She didn't feel very much comfort on his lap, and that bothered her. Sitting up straighter, she glanced back at him and blinked. "I think I just realized that I'm on my own now. I won't have you to lean on anymore...and I know it makes me sound weak, but that terrifies me. I feel very empty." She stood up, walking a few steps around the desk like a newborn foal just finding its legs. "I think I'm going to go home now. I want to spend some time with Max." Anton stood up. "I'll see you to the door." As he opened his office, he slipped his arm around her waist. "Bryn, you will always have me to lean on. I may not be there physically, but I will only be a phone call away." She stopped walking, trying to keep her emotions off her face. It was a losing battle. "Anton, I know what everyone thinks of me. What you think of me. I know you all think I'm too dependent on you, and that if anything happened where I was forced to be on my own that I wouldn't make it. And maybe that's true. Maybe I am weak, and I need you too much...but I'm trying. I'm really scared--petrified--and ashamed, but I'm trying. And I'm not going to ask you for help, because that's exactly what everyone expects me to do." His protest died on his lips as he hit the button for the elevator. There were times he worried that she was too dependent on him. That he was holding her back, making things too easy for her. But she was right. So he swallowed and nodded. "Okay, Bryn." He couldn't help but add a bit of humor. "I'd ask what I could do to help, but that might be counter productive." She gave him a nervous smile, torn between asking him for comfort and determinedly standing on her own feet. "I just want you to be there when I call. And hold me when I get home. And if I start getting scared, don't let me give up. I know I can do this. I just need to be reminded every so often." "I will, my dear. I will do all that, and more if you ask it of me." It wouldn't be easy, letting her find her path without wanting to smooth it for her, but he would try. Because he loved her too much to let her continue on feeling miserable when she had asked for help, as difficult as it might be for the both of them. End Chapter One Hundred One <- Previous Chapter | Home | Next Chapter ->