Chapter One Hundred Twenty-five He was soaring like an eagle. Arms spread wide, pajama-footie-covered feet kicking, and giggling gleefully, he zoomed along the corridor and straight past his Daddy's head. Anton let out a gasp of surprise, watching him whiz past, propelled by his mother's much shorter legs. "Vroooom!" Bryn said, enthusiastically, hurrying down the tunnel towards Jess's home. Anton grinned, belying his unease. The werewolves had been as amazed as he had been when they were told that Max hadn't reacted to the sun. And now they were going to show the werewolves. Jess had been particularly interested. And although he trusted Lindy's family, he was still nervous. Would Max still show the apparent immunity? He didn't want to see him get hurt, even accidentally. Slowing down with a series of "chug chug" and "screeech" sounds, Bryn brought Max around and flew him right in to Anton's arms...then stood panting for a moment to catch her breath. "Whew. Man, I really need to get to a gym." Grabbing on to the back of Anton's jeans, she let him tow her for a few feet until she could comfortably breathe again. Being pregnant and spoiling herself with great foot had made her lazy. "I think I managed to cheer him up a little bit, though. At least he's not as anxious as we are." "That's good. I don't think I could go through with this if he was half as nervous as I am" Anton resisted the urge to cuddle Max close, since he was lifting his arms. Anton lightly tossed him into the air, catching him as he squealed. "And I thought I gave you a work out every night." "Mmm...yes you do. Sorry. Wasn't thinking." Bryn wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned in close to his body. Her voice was still a bit shaky. She wasn't sure if it was because of the running or her nervousness. "We're doing the right thing...right?" Anton nodded, though he looked a bit uncertain. "I think so, Bryn. We have to know for certain." If Max were immune to sunlight, then there were far reaching implications about his future. They walked on a few minutes until they reached the door of the werewolves' home. Jess greeted him at the door. "We've got all the drapes drawn, so it's safe for you to come in, Anton," she said. Bryn followed Anton up the stairs, both of them following Jess, her hand gently squeezing one of his. For some odd reason, she felt a little more calm than he looked. Which was definitely a switch. Stepping in to the house itself, she blinked a bit at the change of light. Although the drapes were drawn, it was still considerably brighter here than it was in the tunnel. "He's a little nervous, Jess," she said, thinking that she could've been talking about both Anton and Max. "Understandably so," Jess responded. "Do you want to hand over Max, Anton?" Reluctantly, Anton passed the child to the werewolf. He was ill at ease since even with the drapes drawn, it was still a lot lighter than he'd prefer it to be. "How were you going to do this?" Jess was swaying back and forth with Max in her arms. "I'm going to slowly bring him into full sunlight. But I should be able to sense the moment he has any discomfort. So don't worry. I don't want to see him hurt any more than you do." Bryn let go of Anton's hand for a moment, walking closer to Jess. She waiting until Max met her gaze, and then crouched down a bit to kiss his chubby cheek. Then she kissed his ear, whispering, "I love you, sweet pea." Jess smiled. "Are you sure you don't want to be in the same room while I'm doing this, Anton?" He shook his head. He didn't want any repeat incidents or accidents. If something went wrong, or he thought something was going wrong, Anton would be too tempted to try to rescue Max. Which might put both of them in even more danger. Jess nodded. "How about you, Bryn?" She swallowed, but shook her head and reached for Anton's hand again. "I'll stay here and wait with Anton." Looking back at him, she gave him a small smile. "I don't want him to have to wait alone. I go where he goes." Anton gratefully squeezed her hand. Jess nodded. "This will probably take about an hour to do right. But I'll bring him back at the first sign of discomfort." "Thanks," Anton said as the werewolf left the room. He held onto Bryn's hand tightly, as if he was thinking about following the werewolf and snatching his son back. "Please let him be safe," he whispered under his breath. Bryn turned and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing tightly. Before either of them could react with more fear or grief, she led him over to a nearby couch and urged him to sit down. Then she settled on his lap and resumed holding him tightly. "He'll be okay," she whispered. "He has to be." Anton's arms went around her shoulders. "It can't have been a fluke." That was his worry. That they had somehow misinterpreted earlier, that it had been an optical illusion that he had been in the sun. And now they were exposing him to a potentially deadly danger needlessly. Bryn fisted her fingers in his shirt, pressed her forehead against his jaw. She felt ill, but she wasn't going to let him know that. He already had enough to worry about. Instead, she slid her free hand over his stomach, rubbing gentle circles. "He's our miracle. He has to be okay." He didn't say anything more, but leaned against her. They spent a good fifty minutes in that position, just quietly holding and silently reassuring each other. But when Jess returned, carrying Max, he sat up a bit straighter. The werewolf smiled, and answered his question before he answered it. "He's fine. No discomfort at all. I don't think he evened tanned." She placed Max in Bryn's arms. "If anything, I think he liked the warmth." Eyes tearing up, Bryn settled Max against Anton's chest so they could both hold him tight. She closed her eyes and kissed Max's warm head, stroking his soft hair. It had been so hard to keep from imagining him burnt and hurt. Now that he was back and safe, she felt like sobbing. Her voice very quiet, she said, "Thank you, Jess." "You're welcome," she said simply. "Do you want a few minutes alone before we discuss what happened?" Anton nodded. "Please." He waited for Jess to leave before burying his face against the top of Max's head, shaking. Max did appear to be immune to the sun. It was almost too much for him to comprehend. He lifted his head to look at Bryn with wide, wondering eyes. This woman had given him a miracle once before, and was going to do so again. Would Kat have the same abilities? With a dry mouth, he swallowed. "What are we going to tell Lilith?" It would only be a matter of time before the Empress found out. And who knew what her reaction would be. "We aren't," Bryn said, simply. "And neither is Dr. Anne, or Vandala. This never happened. As far as I'm concerned, we're hiding this for as long as possible. I know things will change as he gets older, but for now I don't want her breathing down our necks about it. We already have problems with her getting to possessive and psycho. Just imagine what she'd be like if she found out he's a vampire who can walk in sunlight?" "I don't want to even think about that my dear." He kissed the top of Max's head, and then Bryn's forehead. "We'll keep it a secret. We'll talk to the werewolves. I'm sure they'll understand why." He was still trying to process the fact that Max was a vampire who was immune to sunlight, a walking contradiction. "I wonder if Kat will be the same," he murmured. "I don't know," she said, quietly. Leaning her head against his shoulder, she lazily stroked the soft curls behind Max's head. He was perfectly fine. Not even aware of what they were so shocked by. Or maybe he was--only Jess could say for sure. "Should we call them back in now?" "Yeah," Anton said. But he made no move to displace Bryn or Max from his lap. It was a few minutes later that Jess poked her head back into the room. "You ready for us?" When Anton nodded, the werewolves filed back into the room. "How you guys doing?" "We're still processing this, or at least I am," Anton admitted. "We want to keep this as quiet as possible. We don't even want Dr. Anne to know or Mr. Mulder to know." Bryn leaned forward a bit, holding her gaze. "Can you tell us what he was thinking or feeling at the time? I want...I wish he could tell us." She looked back at Max, who let out a coo as he watched her. "I wish he could tell Anton. Every little detail." Jess sat back, putting her thoughts in order. "He was...how to put this," she muttered. "Like I said earlier, he liked the warmth. But he wasn't afraid, didn't feel any pain, or anything like that. It was just...a new experience." "Max blinked a bit as the room got brighter, but he didn't look uncomfortable or anything," Walter added. "Just curious." Bryn didn't think he would have too much of a problem with the brightness. The lights Anton had had installed in their library, so Bryn could paint, were just bright as the outdoors, and Max spent a lot of time in that room with her. "Did you take him to the window? Did he want to go outside?" Jess nodded. "He was thinking that everything looked different. He wanted to go out and explore. But no, we didn't think it wise to take him outside." Anton looked down at Max, who was starting to squirm, impatient from being held so close so long. But he wasn't ready to let go of him just yet. A whole new world of opportunity had just opened for him. He wouldn't have to spend his life in darkness, could go to a normal school... Except that it would betray his secret to Lilith. Bryn turned her attention to Anton, feeling both overjoyed and saddened. There were so many things that Max could experience now. He could've gone to the zoo with her and the kids the day before! There were animals to see, trees, grass, bugs, sunlight on flowers. Birds. He'd never seen birds, other than dim silhouettes in the twilight. So many things to do and see...and yet Anton couldn't experience any of them. It wasn't fair. She felt bitter and almost betrayed. Why would they be given such a great gift if they couldn't all enjoy it? Anton gently stroked her back, not really certain of what to ask next. And he couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. He hadn't seen sunlight in over nine hundred years. And although he was extremely grateful for artificial lighting, it still wasn't the same. Leaning closer to his ear, she whispered, "I love you, in darkness and light. You know that right? And when we get home, I'm going to get our video camera and take him outside. And right after we're done, we'll come back inside and watch it with you. You'll experience it, too. I promise." He brushed his lips against her forehead, more grateful than he could ever express. "Thank you, Bryn." She brought him a rock. So cooked by the sun that was nearly hot in his hand. Closing his fingers around it, she made him hold it tightly. In his other hand, she placed a flower...one Max had picked himself. Granted, it was a dandelion, and only the head of one at that, but it was his first gift from his son. Settling Max against his arm, so he could breathe in the fresh outdoors on his warm hair, she then hurried to the VCR and started the tape. Max's little butt, blurry and moving, appeared on the screen. The camera pulled away as he began crawling, picking up pieces of grass and examining them--then promptly putting them in his mouth. "Yucky! Don't eat that!" Bryn's hand appeared as she took the slobbery grass blade out of his mouth. Max gave the camera an indignant look. "Can you say 'Hi Daddy'?" Max blew a drool bubble and stared. Then he grabbed the lens and tried to chew on it. Anton gave a small laugh at that. Max stopped chewing on the lens as he watched a caterpillar crawl by. As his son on the screen started to follow the bug, his son in his arms went to sleep, exhausted by his big adventures. Anton looked down at him, a bit wistful. He wanted so badly to be out there with him, watching Max discover that birds actually flew through the blue sky instead of perching on branches all night. "What's that?" Bryn's voice said, and the camera moved down as she knelt in the grass. The orange and black caterpillar was undulating along the sidewalk, seemingly oblivious to them...until Max reached out to touch it. Then it curled up like a ball and lay immobile on the concrete. "Uh-oh!" Snatching his hand back as if he'd broken the bug, Max looked at Bryn and started to cry. The camera suddenly tilted on it's side as it was laid on the ground and Bryn's feet filled the screen as she picked Max up. "It's okay," she said, laughing a bit. "He'll get better." After a few seconds, the camera lifted again and the screen went black. A few seconds more and there was Max again on the ground, as if nothing had happened, crawling towards a patch of flowers. Anton watched, almost as fascinated on the screen as Max was by the petals. He smiled as Max spotted the dandelion and grabbed it. pulling the head off. "Are you going to give that to daddy? Do you think he'd like it?" "Yes he does," Anton said softly in response, a tear appearing in the corner of his eye. Bryn frowned a bit as she glanced at him. She hadn't meant to make him sad. Scooting closer, she settled her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his waist. On the screen, after Bryn took the flower so Max didn't squish it, Petunia came trotting over to investigate. Her snuffling could be heard audibly, even from far away. Max pushed himself in to a seated position and squealed at the dog's arrival. He started bouncing and waving his arms until Petunia came over and gave him a slobbery kiss. Instead of whining or crying like some kids might have, Max began to giggle, his laughter igniting Bryn's giggles as well. Anton chuckled as well, the tears forgotten as Petunia looked puzzledly at the camera. He shifted his arm around Bryn's shoulders, trying to concentrate on what he had and not what he was missing. He could experience the day now through this miracle of videotape. That was more than he had in the past. And his son could actually go out into the light, and wouldn't have to live with the same worries about accidental exposure that he did. And his wife that loved him so much, and willing to do whatever it took so he didn't feel left out. Bryn let out a contented sigh, tucked against his side. "We're so lucky. I think this is why he was born now, instead of before. Because you wouldn't have been able to see him like this, otherwise. It wouldn't have been the same. Maybe when Alexandra was alive, because there were photographs, but she didn't stay long enough. She was too afraid to realize what she had. I think that's why I had so many problems with my family when I was little. So I knew to appreciate you once I had you." He squeezed her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much, Sabryn," he said softly. He watched the rest of the tape in rapt attention, watching Max discover that rocks in the sun were much hotter than rocks in the moon. And all too soon, the tape was over. Anton looked down at the baby asleep in his lap. "I think you wore him out, my dear," he said. She stroked Max's cheek. "No, he wore me out. He barely ever stopped moving. I think I might've kept on filming, but I was anxious to come back and show you." Smiling she added, "Too bad we don't have any 200spf sunblock and some Raybans, huh?" He chuckled, but tried to stay still so he didn't disturb Max. "I really wish we did," he said wistfully. Anton kissed the top of Max's head. "Let's go put him down for the day and then get some rest ourselves." Fortunately it was the weekend and the warehouse was closed down, so they could sleep in without guilt. Nodding, Bryn got up and removed the tape from the VCR, popping the tab out so they could save it. Shutting off the television, she turned to see Anton holding Max close as he got to his feet. He was also carefully carrying his rock and dandelion. Smiling, she followed him towards the stairs. "John has your keys, right?" Anton nodded. "And the code for the front gate. Plus Amanda is with them." Bryn's brother had taken the kids to the local amusement park. And since Bryn had decided to stay to be on hand for the results of testing Max, the youngest werewolf had volunteered to go. Although Anton held private suspicions that the fact that John was going to Great America had motivated the teen greatly. "They should be able to get in without any problems," he said, trying to balance his way up the stairs. Pressing her hand to his back so he didn't topple over backwards, she said, "Good. We'll need to go to the grocery store tonight. We're almost out of milk." As they reached the second floor, she followed him in to Max's room, taking his rock and flower, while he changed the baby's diaper. Luckily, Max slept through the entire thing. "So what are you really thinking? Is this a blessing...or just the start of a much bigger headache?" "A blessing, although I have very mixed emotions about it." Fresh diaper in place, Anton picked up max and carried him to his crib. "I'm very happy he'll have a chance to experience normal things. Daylight, not having to worry if the windows are lightproof, being able to go to school. I just wish..." "Wish what, sugar?" "I wish that there were a way I could experience it with him, instead of by proxy." "So do I," she said, softly. "If I could switch places with you, I would. Without a second thought." "No, I wouldn't." He kissed his son's forehead and then placed Max down for the rest of the day. Then he turned to Bryn and gently caressed her cheek. "I wouldn't take this from you yet I know you will be Transformed soon, but I wish there were a way I could keep you forever and not have you become allergic to sunlight." She felt a tear slip out of her eye before she was aware she was crying. "I don't want what you can't have. I don't need it, and it's not fair. I want you, in every way. Not when the sun goes down. If you were a mermaid--a merman--I would find the biggest oxygen tanks I could and stay underwater until I looked like a raisin. I don't want half of you, and you shouldn't have to have half of me. I want to be where you are." Anton pulled her tight into his arms. "Shhh..." he soothed. "I love you so much, Bryn," he whispered in her hair. "But sometimes, I wonder if you realize what you'll be giving up for me. No," he said, laying his fingers over her mouth. "I know you're doing it willingly. And I know you won't resent me for that sacrifice. And if I could, I would find a way to stay where you are all the time too." She squeezed him tightly, grabbing his shoulders from behind. "I'll be with you, so you don't have to. I made my choice, Anton. I think I made it that night in Santa Cruz, shortly after I left your hotel room. If you'd only followed me...I might have stayed." She let out a humorless laugh at the incredulous look he gave her. "I didn't want to go. I thought I should. I thought at the time that you didn't really love me, so I'd make a mistake if I stayed. All of that time we spent apart--although I didn't realize it consciously, I think I was waiting for you to find me. And the minute you did, in that stupid gallery, I knew I could never, ever leave you again. I'm yours completely. You're everything I'll ever need." He bent over and kissed her, trying to show her how grateful he was for her. His hands slid down her back to her ass, and then he bent his knees slightly and scooped her up. Once Bryn's legs wrapped securely around his waist, he started walking towards their bedroom. All the time he was kissing her, even as he sat down on the bed, her in his lap. She scooted closer to him, until he was almost pasted to her. Sucking lightly on his tongue, she let out a soft moan as his large splayed hands squeezed her ass. Taking large handfuls of his shirt, she began tugging it up his torso and over his head, until he was bare from the waist up and her hands could roam all over his chest. "I should've stopped and waited in the hallway. In Santa Cruz. I should've stayed there all day." "What's done is done, Bryn," he whispered against her lips. One hand started working her shirt up her chest. "Otherwise you'll forever be beating yourself up. Don't worry about what happened then, because it has all turned out for the best." He pulled her shirt over her head and began working on her bra. She arched her back slightly, moving her hair out of the way. She wasn't quite sure what to say anymore. It was hard not to still feel a bit depressed on his behalf. She wanted so much for him and wished she could give him more. Anton's lips traveled down her neck and to her breast. He pulled a pink nipple between his lips and started to suckle. Holding her tight, he shifted his legs and rolled her onto her back, pulling himself on top of her. Kicking off his shoes, he made certain he squirmed against her so she could feel every inch of him. She squirmed beneath him, too, from the intense suction of his mouth. Sliding her legs over his and her fingers through his hair, she closed her eyes and let him do whatever he wanted. Pressing him tight between her legs, she shifted her hips to rub herself against him. "You feel so good." Anton gave a soft moan, agreeing. His hand caressed her side, fingers working beneath the mattress and her buttocks. He gripped her tightly as he switched his mouth to her other breast. He paid even more loving attention to that nipple, squeezing her ass in time with his sucks. Swallowing, she licked her lips. "Anton, come up here, please?" He looked up from her breast, her nipple popping out of his mouth wet and shiny. Bryn's expression must've looked more serious than he was expecting. Lifting himself from her body, he crawled up a bit to meet her mouth--but she turned her head before he could kiss her. Instead she tucked her face against his neck and squeezed her arms tightly around him. Just wanting to be held for a little while, to lose the sadness still lingering inside her. He held her tightly, gently rocking against her. It was meant to be a comforting movement, not a sexual one. He tried to soothe her with his body, his hands gently stroking her back. "If you don't want to, Bryn," he said softly, giving her an out. "All you have to do is say no." She took a deep shuddering breath, squeezing her eyes shut. "I don't want to say no. I just--" She sniffled, letting out a soft sob. "I need you to tell me...you don't resent me. Because of that tape. And because I could go outside with him, when you couldn't." He leaned over to whisper in her ear. "I don't resent you because you can walk in the light with our son, Sabryn." I am grateful that you are able to, so he will not be alone. And that you are able to share it with me." He kissed her earlobe. "I love you so much, Bryn. And I am so glad to have you." Hugging him even tighter than before, she felt the tightness in her chest slowly start to dissipate. Wiping at her face, she murmured, "I love you too." She turned her head and kissed his cheek, only to have him turn and kiss her mouth as well. Sniffling, she gave him another soft kiss, which slowly continued deeper. Until they didn't seem to stop kissing at all. Anton's hands resumed to caress her, slowly sliding up and down her sides. He nuzzled her neck, softly kissing on her scar He didn't want her to believe for a moment that he resented the fact that she was human. His fingers slid along the waistband of her pants before slowly tugging at the drawstring. She leaned in to his touch, enjoying the warmth of his chest against hers. Sliding her own hands down his torso, she used one to grab his ass and the other to begin tugging open his fly. She let out a soft laugh when their hands collided, dodging around his to lower his zipper. Pulling her legs up, she used her toes to grab on to his pants and tug them down, enough to free his erection, so she could feel him rubbing against her belly. Anton let out a low, pleased rumble, giving into the urge to thrust against her soft stomach. Working her pants down her legs, he trailed his fingers up the insides of her thighs and then skirted around her pubic hair to caress her breast. "I love you so much, Bryn," he repeated. "And I don't ever want you to think that I'd resent you for any reason." Bryn rubbed her forehead against his chin, not caring at all that she'd probably have beard burn on her skin. "I don't like feeling alone or apart from you. I want to be able to share everything." Her fingernails scraped over his ass as she tugged him closer to her. "It feels really disrespectful of me to do something like that without you." "Don't feel that way, Bryn." His hand slipped from her breast to comb through her pubic hair. "I would have you spend as much as time as you can in the sun, because once you are Transformed, you'll never be able to see it in person again." He stroked his fingers between the lips of her sex to search for her clit. She jumped slightly, unable to concentrate on what he was saying while he was touching her like that. "Oh," she said, softly, biting her lip. Opening her legs wider, she shuddered. "Anton..." He continued to stroke between her legs even as he pulled away from her body. Anton used his other hand to guide his cock deep inside of her. "Bryn," he whispered as he laid back down on top of her. He didn't thrust, as much as he wanted to. Instead he just savored the sensation of being on top of and inside of her. Bryn too stayed perfectly still, enjoying his body. Clinging to him tightly, she closed her eyes. "Mmm. I missed this. I don't like going to bed late. I have too much fun here." Smiling, she opened her eyes and met his gaze. "Unless you're gone, and then I don't want to go to sleep at all." Anton smiled. "I feel the same way, my dear." His hips gave a twitch, pushing himself deeper inside of her. "I will do my best never to leave you again. Cause I have too much fun here too. And the living room, and the kitchen, and the garage..." Bryn smirked at him, even though her cheeks pinked a little. "We won't be able to have our little garage trysts for too much longer. It won't be long before Max is walking in on us." She wrapped her legs around his hips, locking him between her legs. "Which is a shame. That garage sex is nice." He kissed her neck lightly. "All the sex with you is nice," he purred against her. "But you're right. Max will start walking in on us soon. But until then, I intend to take you every chance and every way I can." She shivered in delight. "Oooh. I'll take you up on that." Turning her head, she sucked his earlobe into her mouth, tugging gently, then releasing him with a pop. "Why not start right now?" "Yes, why not?" His hips started a slow thrust, his cock gliding smoothly in and out of her. "I could do this all day and all night, my dear. You always feel so wet and welcoming to me. And as tight as the day I met you." He bent his head to nip her neck. "Well, I do special exercises," she said, grinning broadly. "Oh you do, doncha?" Anton's grin grew wicked. "I would love to watch you work out one day. I'll bet it really gets the blood pumping. Especially in certain areas." She giggled. Lifting her hips to meet his, she pressed her feet flat on the bed. "I'll let you watch whenever you want. In fact, I bet I could teach you how to do some of your own." Before he could comment, she pulled him to meet her lips and kissed him deeply, mimicking the movement of his cock inside her. His hips started to pump faster, rubbing his pubic hair against her clit. He sucked on her tongue, the same way that her sex was sucking on his cock. It was moments like this that Anton felt that they weren't two lovers, but one creature, two halves forming one whole. One's weaknesses were upheld by the other's strengths. There was only one way to describe it - each was perfected by the other. Bryn braced her hand on the headboard and used the other to hold on to him tightly, clutching his ass with each strong thrust. She wished she could truly lock him inside her and keep him there, so nothing could tear them apart. Body or soul. She lifted her leg higher, changing the angle of his movements, gasping in excitement when she got him right where she wanted him. To the spot where every little twitch of his cock was amplified like sound waves through her veins...until she was quivering. He could feel her shaking beneath him. "Let go for me, Bryn. Let me feel your release," he whispered in her ear. His own eyes were closed from the intense pleasure sweeping outward from his groin. And then it was swelling, a tidal wave that threatened to wash him away in bliss. Bryn squealed, shuddering heavily beneath him, biting her lip as she started to cum. The heavy slapping of his hips was scooting her up the bed and he held on to her tightly, his fingers whitening her skin. Squeezing his ass with both hands, she dipped her fingers down to rub against his perineum, urging him along with her. Anton threw his head back and let out a strangled cry, cumming deep inside of her. And throughout the pleasure, he kept moving, stopping only when he felt himself softening inside of her. And even then his hips continued pushing against hers, tiny shoves that mimicked his earlier powerful thrusts. Panting heavily, Bryn pressed her face against his neck, shivering a bit as her sweat started to cool. She reached for the blankets and pulled them up to Anton's shoulders, tucking them both into a warm cocoon. She slid her legs against his, stretching lightly, before wrapping herself around him once more. Keeping him snugly wedged against her, she lifted her head and kissed his lips. "I love you so much, sugar. So very much." He returned the kiss softly. The warmth of the blankets was a balm to his body, which was reacting to the stresses of the day. But her touch soothed him. "In darkness and in light, I love you, my dear," he said, echoing her words earlier. Anton gently nuzzled her cheek, relaxing even further against her. "And don't you ever doubt it." Monday came much too quickly in her opinion. And because Max heard the kids playing, and thus wanted to join in, Anton had to get up early while Bryn took her shower. She found them all downstairs, in the kitchen, after she dressed. Still brushing her hair and trying to put on her shoes, she saw that all of the chairs were full...and decided to plop down in Anton's lap. "So what do you guys have planned today?" "Well, thankfully Lindy I gave Lindy the papers she brought on Friday, all signed, and she volunteered to take them back, so I don't have to the office in today. If John and the kids would like, I was thinking we could go to Lick Observatory over at UC Santa Cruz. It's a bit of a drive, but doable." "Lick?" Jolie said, making a face. Chris turned and stuck his tongue out at her, making them both giggle. Sliding her shoe strap over her heel, Bryn shook her head. "Isn't that one of those astronomy...telescope places?" She laughed at her own explanation. "You know, to see the stars?" "Cool," Chris said. "Yeah, sounds good to me," John added. Pushing out her lower lip, Bryn muttered, "You always take them fun places when I have to work." Anton bit back his first response about fun places he could take her because he couldn't say it with children in the room. He did smile back at her and kiss that pouty lip. "You could always call in sick, my dear, and come with us." She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him. "I can't. I have to take another painting in. Besides, I'd get fired. I've taken off too many times before." Getting up, she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a small bottle of orange juice. "I have to finish my hair and get going." She checked the clock as she leaned over to kiss Max. "Like right now." Anton grabbed her hand and pulled her close for a kiss as well. "Have a good evening, my dear. We'll see you tonight after you get home." He let her hand trail out of his as she said goodbye to Chris, Jolie, and John. In less than five minutes, she was gone and the house took on a strange silence. Finally, seeing that the kids were finished eating, John said, "Why don't you two go upstairs and start getting ready to go. Wash your hands and face, brush your teeth, and find something warm to wear." The kids took off like a shot, making Max squeal and lean out of his high chair. Shaking his head, John stood up to start putting the dishes in the sink. "What do you think of this job of hers?" he asked Anton. "I was sort of hoping we'd be able to spend more time together." "She's happier since she's been doing it. And she and I have discussed her staying after Kat is born. At this point, she's not going to," Anton said. He paused for a moment. "It's boosted her self-confidence, although I don't think she realizes it. And I think it's wonderful that she's enjoying herself there." "That is good," John agreed, pouring himself another cup of coffee. "She could definitely use all of the confidence she can get. Although she made a lot of progress after moving to Baltimore with us, that's nothing like the change in her since she moved here. She's like a different person." "I'm glad that you can see a change for the better in her as well. It's not to say that she still doesn't have difficulties, but she's not as frightened or depressed as she used to be." Anton leaned forward slightly, glancing at the door to make sure the kids were not nearby. "John, may I ask you a few questions about the night she was...taken? The few times she's actually spoken to me of it, she said you were there." Even John seemed to stiffen a bit in response. "I was," he acknowledged, nodding. "It's kind of a sore subject in our family, so you'll have to forgive me if I don't seem exactly forthcoming. But I'll tell you whatever you want to know." Anton nodded. He had the sense that he was treading on very thin ice. But he had questions. "What do you think happened out there? Or actually, what did happen. Bryn hasn't given me any details, and I have to admit, I've been afraid to ask for fear of causing more trauma." "I think I'd like to know that very thing myself." John leaned against the counter, staring at his coffee. "I might've been there, but I made myself forget as much of it as I could. Like I was trying to convince myself it was a nightmare. Which is exactly what my parents wanted to believe." Walking back to the table, he sat down. He still wasn't meeting Anton's gaze, but staring off into space. "I remember bright light...but not where it was coming from. It could've been a space ship, or a helicopter, or just some fool standing there with a flashlight and a ladder. It was shining down from above us, so bright it hurt to look at it. It was like someone had turned on the sun in the middle of the night, but we could only see the area directly around us. One minute we were both standing there, and in the next I was running back to the house. She was gone, I knew that. But I couldn't tell you how." This time he did meet Anton's eyes. "You know, I know she thinks she was taken by aliens and that might be true. But as far as I know, she could've just walked away." Anton nodded. "From how she's reacted, I think it's a bit more than her just walking away." He had wondered if both she and her brother had been abducted that evening. From the way John was talking, it sounded like he wasn't. That or he was also in deep denial. "Do you know if she ever disappeared again after that happened?" John frowned as if the thought had never crossed his mind. "I don't--" He shook his head. "I don't think so. If she did, it never happened while I was around. I was too spooked with her disappearing just once. I mean, it was awful trying to figure out what happened. We didn't find her until the next morning...and when we did, she was in the neighbor's field without any clothes. She was so pale and cold, completely drenched with water...I thought she was dead. Mom thought for sure she'd been kidnapped and raped. She was unconscious for hours. No, we would've known if that ever happened to her again. I'm sure of it." His heart broke at the thought of how frightened she must have been. "Did you...was she taken to a doctor? Was she checked out?" If there were a way, he would exact vengeance for what was done to his wife, that innocent little girl who was afraid of the dark until she met him. "Yes, we took her to the hospital. Mom and Dad were too distraught to drive, so the neighbor took us. He was the one who first found her. A whole bunch of us had been looking. Anyway, they didn't find anything 'wrong' with her. She was dehydrated, but the doctor said that would be normal after staying outside alone for so long. A nurse tried to check if she," he made a gesture with his hands, reluctant to say the actual word. "She tried to check her...virginity, but the...uh...it was inconclusive. She had some light bruising, but the doctor told my parents it could've been from riding her bike." He shook his head, looking uncomfortable. "When she woke up later, she ate like she'd been starving. And after we took her home, she barely slept. Terrible nightmares. Awful." "It must have been horrible for all of you." He really didn't know what else to say, or to ask. He had more questions, but felt that he should be asking Bryn instead of John. Now that he knew a little more about the situation, he felt more comfortable doing so. "I don't know how you made it all through it." "We didn't. That's the problem." Holding Anton's gaze, he said, "She started trying to tell us what happened right away. But the idea of aliens...it was just too impossible to believe. You've seen where we grew up. Farms. Families who have known each other for generations. A lot of the people are incredibly conservative and religious. We used to be. Once word got out, we stopped going to church. People stared when we went out in public. My parents were embarrassed, humiliated. And they were convinced she was lying. *I was there*...and I didn't even know if she was telling the truth. Our family lost a lot of friends...but none of us suffered as much as she did. Not even close." I know what you mean about it being 'impossible to believe.' I had trouble with it, even though in theory I don't exist either. It's a pity, because I think a part of her still wants that relationship with her parents that she was denied. Otherwise, she wouldn't still hurt so much." John nodded, finally giving up and pushing his coffee aside. "I know people believe that burying things in the past is bad for you, but as far as Mom and Dad are concerned, I think that's the only way they'll ever have a relationship with her. Pretending like it didn't even happen. And I know that doesn't help her at all." They were both silent for a moment. The kids could be heard clamoring down the stairs. Max had fallen asleep some time during their conversation and was lying on his tray with a piece of mushy banana in his fist. As Anton grabbed a washcloth to clean the baby up, John said, "Can I ask you a question this time?" Glancing at him, Anton nodded. "Go ahead." "Would it make a difference to you? If she was really taken by aliens, or if something else had happened?" "No," Anton said after a moment's thought. "Because something obviously did happen to her that night. And whether it was an abduction by aliens or a pedophile, it's affected her profoundly. We'd still be handling the same issues either way. But personally, I think something more out of the ordinary did happen that night. You see, vampires aren't supposed to be able to sire children. And yet..." he trailed off, looking at Max. "There's my son, and Bryn's carrying another child of mine." Before John could reply, Chris and Jolie came skidding around the corner. "Let's go, Dad!" "Hey, why don't you two sit your butts down and wait? Your uncle isn't ready to go yet." Looking back at Anton, John shook his head. "Oh the fun that's waiting for you. Especially with a girl and a boy. I think these two learned how to say 'that's mine' before ever leaving the womb." He paused for a moment, smiling. "Although, if you're lucky, he'll learn to love his sister as much as I do. That makes up for everything." "Hopefully he will. And trust me. It's practically the same having a brother. Even if the situation was substantially different in my case." There had been a current of sibling rivalry between Nate and Anton, even if it was expressed differently due to the age difference. "Go on and get ready. I'll keep the kids entertained until you're set." John nodded. On his way past the table, he put his hand on Anton's shoulder and squeezed. "Thanks." Bryn made it home before Anton, John and the kids did. John came in carrying Chris, and Anton Jolie, both children having fallen asleep. They both tucked the children into bed before they said good night. Then he went to the bedroom to tell Bryn all about the day. "I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to be able to keep up with Max and Kat when they get older. Chris and Jolie wore me out." Lying in bed with Max cuddled on her chest, she smiled at Anton. "He wears me out now. I got home and was fixing something to eat, and of course Max wanted down on the floor. I thought there wasn't anything for him to get in to, so I put him down. Next thing I know, he's slapping his hand in Petunia's water dish, and she's just sitting there watching him like she was proud of him or something. There was water everywhere!" Reaching her hand out to him, she tugged Anton closer for a kiss. "You got something to eat didn't you?" "Yeah. We got something up at the observatory just before we left." Anton stretched out on the bed next to her, interlacing his fingers with hers. "Bryn, there's something I want to apologize to you about. We've never talked much about what happened to you that night so long ago. I mean, in depth. I got talking with John about it, and I should have been talking to you instead. I'm sorry." She frowned, a little alarmed by that statement. "What do you mean...that you've been talking to him? What did--" Sitting up, she sighed. She got out of bed and walked over to put Max in his cradle, not wanting to leave the room. "What did you ask him?" she asked, turning her attention to Anton again. "What did he tell you?" Anton reached out and pulled her closer against him. "I asked him what he remembered about that night. We also talked a bit about how your parents treated you afterwards. Their reactions, his reaction." He gently tangled his fingers in her hair. "I know your parents dealt with it by ignoring it. And I worry that on some level, I have as well." She tilted her head down, perfectly content to hide behind a curtain of her hair. "There's nothing to deal with. It's over. Has been for a long time." Gathering the blankets up to her shoulders, she held them there tightly. "John couldn't have told you anything. He doesn't remember. He's probably better off that way." "He remembers running for help, but not much more." Anton brushed her hair back from her head. "Please, Bryn. Don't hide from me. If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay. I just want you to know that if you want to talk about it, you can." She sniffed. "Sorry if I don't jump at the chance. It was about the last thing anyone ever wanted to talk about before." She realized she sounded very nasty and defensive. It wasn't his fault. He was trying to be nice to her. She wasn't used to that kind of reaction. And although she didn't want to be mean to him...she couldn't help the fear that he might be mean to her instead. "I-I don't think I want to talk about it." "Okay." Anton repeatedly kissed her forehead, trying to soothe her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." He gently combed his fingers through her hair. "If you want to talk to about it ever, I'm here. If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay too." He tilted her head up to kiss her lips lightly. "I just want you to know that I'll love you, no matter what." She whimpered, reaching for him, and held on tightly when he pulled her in to his arms. Quietly weeping on his shoulder, she curled her fingers up in his shirt. It felt a bit like his words had ripped her chest open...and the only way she could protect the wound was to bury it against his body as tightly as she could. Anton gently stroked her hair and back, murmuring soothing nonsense. He held her as tightly as he could, trying to offer all the comfort he could. He hadn't meant to cause her pain, but he had needed to let her know that she could talk about anything to him. He softly kissed the top of her head, rocking her body gently back and forth. It was a bit of a struggle for her to keep from reverting back to that hurt little girl, but she managed to stay in the present. His strength helped her a great deal, and she used him as her anchor. Although she'd had very little comfort at the time, she imagined that he was there with her. Holding her protectively. After a while, her tears silenced entirely until she was merely clinging to him. Still holding on so tightly her arms hurt. "Sssshhhh..." he whispered in her hair. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, my dear. You're safe with me." He could feel her nails digging into his flesh painfully, but he wasn't going to dislodge her. He wanted her to feel secure and protected. She shivered violently against him. "I'm cold. Will you lay down with me?" "Of course, my dear. Of course." He kissed her forehead again. "Let's get under the blankets so I can warm you up more easily." Pulling back the blankets, he tucked her in lightly before backing off the bed. He grabbed the hem of his polo shirt and peeled it up and over his head. Feeling Bryn's eyes roaming over his chest, he slowly lowered the zipper of his jeans and then shimmied out of them - trying to distract her. She knew what he was trying to do and loved him for it. She tried to work up a smile for him but it was very weak. His body was beautiful, powerful, incredibly sexy...but right now it looked like a big warm blanket to her. Cozy and soft next to her skin, but hard and sheltering as it surrounded her. As perfectly suited to her as a turtle's shell, and it was just as easy for her to hide beneath it. Odd that the same sturdy frame could send her soaring to heights no one had imagined before. Kicking is boxers and jeans away, Anton lifted the comforter and slipped into bed with his wife. He snuggled up next to her, skin against skin. Kissing her forehead lightly, he settled the blankets around them, forming a cocoon that would capture their heat. "Feeling warmer now?" She nodded, wrapping her arms around him again. This time she tangled her legs with his as well, trying to soak up as much of his heat as possible. His groin was the warmest and she rubbed herself against him, needing to feel good just as much as she wanted to be warm. "Thank you," she said, softly. "You're welcome." Her rubbing was having an unintended affect. Or perhaps the intended affect. She always seemed comforted by their lovemaking - a physical reassurance more tangible than his words. Bryn tended to measure emotions by actions. And if pleasing her sexually would assure her that he loved her no matter what, he wasn't about to object. One hand kneaded the muscles just below her shoulder blade as his lips traveled slowly across her cheek. Anton took his time, carefully tasting her skin, allowing her to say no, before he reached her mouth. Bryn opened her mouth and returned his kiss a bit hesitantly. She wasn't absolutely sure what she wanted, and the idea of using him just to get sexual satisfaction left her cold. Holding on to his arms tightly, to reassure him she wasn't pushing him away, she pulled back from his mouth. She blinked a few times as she met his gaze. "Why did you want to know? Why did you ask John?" "I wanted to know what he remembered." Anton paused, thinking. "I'm trying to understand what could lead a parent not to believe his child. And I'm trying to come up with ways to help you cope still." He gently continued to comb his fingers through her hair. "I'm just trying to understand, so it won't ever happen to Max or Kat." She settled in to his embrace, nuzzling his Adam's apple. "I want..." Exhaling heavily, she tried to keep her eyes dry. "Before I met you, I didn't like people touching me. I didn't even like to be hugged. But I can never get enough of you touching me....because I know you like it, too. And I want to make love with you, but I want you to want it. I don't want you to do it because you think it will make me happy." Looking up at him, she bit her hip. "Will you tell me again, that you'll love me no matter what?" "My dear, I will always love you. No matter what deep, dark secret you hold, no matter what has been done to you by whomever." He hugged her tighter, trying to reassure her. "And you want to know something else? I do make love to you because I think it will make you happy. Because it makes me happy. And the spectacular orgasms we have are a plus, as well." She gave him a slightly bashful smile, sliding her hand up to cup the back of his head. Drawing him closer, she licked her lips before softly kissing his mouth. Although she let out a shuddering breath, it was relief instead of fear that caused it. "I'm sorry I had to ask. I know you will always love me. I just need to be reminded sometimes." Bryn swallowed heavily, meeting his gaze. "And if there's ever anything you want to ask, I'll tell you." "Okay." He wasn't going to do that tonight though. Bryn was upset enough by him bringing this up. He would wait for a while before asking more questions. Instead, he nuzzled her cheek and neck and kissed her mouth lightly and then with more passion. He was just understanding more how horrible her life had been before, and was more determined to make up for it now and in the future. Bryn sucked in a deep breath, as if hoping she could pull him right in to her lungs. Snuggling as close as she could get, tangling her legs with his, she opened her mouth to his and let him explore. She sucked lightly at his lips, needing a moment to adjust before she could give him all of the passion she had. But by the time he rolled her on to her back, she was returning his kisses wholeheartedly. Anton settled on her heavily, pulling her beneath him so she felt protected. He used the excuse of tucking the blankets more firmly around her to let his hands wander up and down her sides, teasing the curves of her breasts and her ass. His tongue delved deeper into mouth, tasting and exploring. She opened her legs to let him settle between them, comforted by the familiar sensation. He pulled her so firmly into the present, keeping her mind from drifting, and she wanted to stay there with him forever. To pretend nothing else existed. She stroked her hands over his broad back, testing the muscles there with her fingers, squeezing his ass and shoulders. "I love you, so much." He shifted between her legs and bent over to whisper in her ear. "I love you too, my dear." He could feel himself curving around the swell of her stomach. They wouldn't be able to make love in this position too much longer. Breathing heavily against her ear, he lightly nipped at the lobe as his hand moved to cup her breast, lightly rubbing his thumb against her nipple. She loved watching him touch her. His gentleness looked so at odds with the strength of his body, with the hunger in his eyes. He often looked like he wanted to devour her...and most often she wanted to let him. Sliding her hands around his torso, she traced his abdomen with her fingers. His flat stomach fluttered lightly and she smiled at him. Raking her fingernails through the trail of hair leading to his groin, she lightly played with his pubic hair. Feeling him twitch against her in response. He smiled, caressing her breast a bit more firmly. She was obviously feeling better, and it warmed his heart to see her smile. Eyes locked onto hers, he dipped his head, backing down her body slightly, so he could worry her other nipple lightly with his teeth before sucking the whole aerola into his mouth. Bryn gasped and arched against him, shifting her thigh to rub against his rigid cock. She wanted to touch him everywhere, but could only manage his neck and shoulders for now. Massaging his muscles firmly, she ran her toes over his calves. And kissed his hair, nuzzling the top of his head. "Love you so much." Anton purred softly as if he had been a giant cat. He rubbed his cock against her, pushing up so he could more easily position his groin. Hands holding her hips immobile, he thrust his cock just above her opening, rubbing the underside of the spongy head against her clit. Squealing softly, she tried to lift her hips only to realize she was trapped. Instead she lifted her legs higher and wider, hoping to tempt him. Pulling at his shoulders, his waist, anything she could reach, she tried to drag him inside her. Whimpering, she tossed her head. "Anton, please..." He could feel her growing wetter, opening herself more to him. And with a twitch of his hips, he was deep inside of her. Groaning, he let himself sink against her body, wanting to be as close to her as possible. Her breath rushed out of her mouth as his weight sank her in to the mattress, and she let her head fall back against the pillows. It was hard to understand how she could be comfortable enough to fall asleep and energized with lust at the same time. Sliding her hands over his back again, she pressed down on his ass, encouraging him to move, lifting herself to move with him. "I want you." "You have me," he said as he started to lightly thrust. Moving slowly at first, he gave a contented sigh as he felt her grip him. "I'm yours, Bryn," he whispered softly in her ear. "And no one else's. Yours alone." Turning her head to kiss him, she followed his languid movements, enjoying the idea of a slow build towards ecstasy. She didn't want this to end any time soon, now that she had all of his love and special attention. It felt wonderful to be adored by him, to be the center of his world. He was definitely hers. Sucking wantonly on his tongue just like her sex sucked on his cock, she threaded her fingers through his hair. She hoped he could feel her emotions behind her kisses. She didn't really question his love for her. On the contrary, she could feel it with every cell of her body and could see it every time he looked at her. He continued the slow pace, letting her guide the way as she kissed him. He rubbed her body with ever thrust, wanting to make sure she could feel him everywhere. She was relaxing even more underneath him, and her kisses were full of passion. Anton would do his utmost to make sure she still felt reassured and loved throughout and after their lovemaking, to forget for tonight what had happened to her in the past. She took deep breaths through her nose, feeling her muscles loosen with each gentle wave of him over her body. If only she could suck him in just as deeply. His hand wrapped around the back of her head, holding her close as he kissed her. Leaning his weight on one elbow, he caressed her breasts with his other hand. "So beautiful," he whispered between kisses. "So sexy." Ducking his head lightly, he kissed her neck, shuddering as he felt her squeeze his cock. "Mine. Now and always." Arching her neck back, she stared at the headboard and concentrated on not flinching with each touch of his lips on her skin. He was trying his hardest to make her forget...but she couldn't help remembering. Not the abduction or the days afterwards, but over a decade later, when he made love to her in her bedroom in Baltimore...and she'd been terrified at the thought of telling him the truth. She tried to push the thought away, to stay in the moment and the pleasure he was giving her. He believed her. And he loved her. That was all that really mattered. He could sense something was upsetting her. And he had an idea what. Anton pushed up so that he was now looking into her eyes. "I'm right here, Bryn. Keep looking at me. You're safe, my dear." He kissed her lips again and then lightly nipped her. "Love you so much, Sabryn." "Love you, too," she said, softly, wrapping her arms tightly around him. She pressed her cheek against his, squeezing him inside and out. She ended up so twisted around him he could barely move...but she didn't really want him to. The subtle movement of his hips was enough. The gentle rocking of his body and whisper of his lips. He was perfect, and she wasn't ever going to let him go. He held her close and continued to kiss at her neck, whispering words of love against it. How beautiful she was. How intelligent. How talented. How he wasn't worthy of her. And his hips kept moving, kept rubbing against her. But eventually he needed more, and he thought she did too. His hand worked its way slowly between their bodies so he could tease her clit. Bryn gasped, loosening her legs a bit to give him more room. She slid her hands down his back and grabbed his ass, urging him deeper...as if that were possible. Turning her head to meet his lips, she kissed him deeply, sucking on his tongue. He made sense to her, and she to him. Although seemingly outcasts to others, they were each other's haven. Each other's home. "You're my best friend," she whispered against his lips, gaze holding his. "And I love you more than life." He rubbed her more firmly. "Love you so much, Bryn. You're all I need" Anton kissed her slipping his tongue into her mouth before pulling away. If she had been a vampire, he would have sunk his fangs into her neck. Instead he had to settle for whispering words against the ivory column. "Now cum for me, my dear." She squirmed under him, unsure of whether she was seeking his touch or trying to avoid it. Pulling him down close to her, she started lifting her hips as she slid her hand down to stroke his perineum. And when she let out a loud gasp and started shivering below him...she hoped he couldn't tell she was faking every second of it She was making all the right sounds, even moving the right way. But it didn't feel right. But rather than press the issue, he sank against her, letting his eyes drift shut. He had an idea of what was wrong, and was trying to figure out how to right it. And decide if he should tell her that he knew something was wrong, or just let it go for a moment. She let her legs go lax, momentarily wondering if she could do the same with her hands. Deciding to keep her arms wrapped around him, she tightened them slightly. It wouldn't do any good to pull away from him. After all, he hadn't done anything wrong. Shifting slightly to take a little of his weight off her stomach, she pressed her lips to his forehead. "Thank you for taking care of me." [But not well enough.] He thought the words, but didn't voice them. Anton kissed her cheek and lips. "You're welcome, my dear." He pulled the covers up over their bodies. He felt emotionally exhausted, which must be nothing compared to how she felt. "Do you want me to go get Max, or are you ready to settle in for the day?" "Get Max please," she said, quietly. She was ready to settle in, but she wanted the baby there with her. It felt good to wrap her arms around him and feel him nestle against her...to know that he had loved her from the moment he was born. Unconditionally. She couldn't wait to see his sweet face. "Okay." He kissed her temple one last time before climbing out of bed and padding to the hallway. The sun would be rising soon, but he didn't care. His mind had come up with an idea of how to make her feel better, but he wasn't sure that it would mean something if he did it now (even if he could) or how she would react. Entering Max's room, he scooped the sleeping baby out of his cradle. Max took exception to having his sleep disturbed and made a face, a precursor to a howl, until Anton rocked him in his arms. Slowly, not to jar his son, he made his way back to the bedroom. "Hi sweet pea," Bryn said, trying to keep the tremor out of her voice. She reached for Max as soon as Anton got close enough, frowning when the baby started crying. "It's okay. You can go back to sleep." Settling back down, she laid Max between her and the side of the bed, using a pillow to keep him from getting too close to the edge. "I love you, Maxim." Her back to him, Anton got the message. But still he cuddled next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Love you, my dear," he whispered in her hair, not sure if he would get a response. And not sure if he really deserved one. There wasn't any hesitation as she settled her arm over his and threaded their fingers together. "I love you, too, Anton." They had been slightly subdued in the evening when they woke up. Nothing was really said about the night before's events as they got breakfast and Bryn got ready for work. Anton was taking John and the kids out to Golden Gate Park. There had been an uncharacteristic silence between them as they left. She was trying to concentrate on an invoice when there was a knock on the door. "Come in," she called out. And Bryn was surprised to see Mulder enter, carrying a floral arrangement. Pink roses, white waxflowers, and yellow dasies sprang from the wicker basket in a riot of color. "Who sent these?" "Don't know. They were just delivered five minutes ago," Mulder answered, putting it down on the desk. "But there's a card in there somewhere." Spotting the card tucked behind a large daisy, Bryn fished it out and opened it. "To my best friend," it read, "from a man who doesn't deserve her. All my love, my dear, Anton." Her face started to crumple a bit before she forced herself to take a breath. "It's okay," she said, quietly, not looking at Mulder. "They're from Anton." "And that's a bad thing?" he asked, wondering about her reaction. "No." Swallowing heavily, she said, "Could you leave me alone for a little while?" "Okay..." She watched as he got up and left the room. Then she wondered what the hell she was going to say to her husband. "I don't deserve you, Anton," she murmured. "It's not the other way around." It was about ten minutes later that the door opened a second time. But this time it wasn't Mulder bearing flowers. It was Anton. "Hey, Bryn. Jolie wasn't feeling too well, so I took John and the kids home, but since I had said I wouldn't be showing up at the warehouse, I'd thought I'd stop by." He glanced at the flowers and gave her a half smile. "I see they arrived." She nodded, drinking in the sight of him standing there. She hadn't gone back to work since the flowers arrived. Instead she'd been staring at them, trying to figure out why she'd treated him like dirt since the night before. Unfortunately, it was her own insecurities that were to blame. "Yeah, they did," she said, quietly, hands folded on her desk. "I'm...we need to talk about what happened last night. Because I don't think you understand it. I'm not even sure that I do." "Okay." Anton shut the door behind him. He crossed the room and sat down on the chair reserved for customers. He dragged it a few inches closer to the desk, leaving her the security of that barrier if she needed it. But he did place a hand on the desk within reaching distance if she needed that as well. "Explain what happened last night," he said gently. It was hard for her to look him in the eye. Instead she stared at her tattered fingernail that she'd been chewing on earlier in the evening. "I don't like talking about my abduction, because I start to feel very scared and threatened. I feel like I'm back there again. And I don't like feeling that way around you." After a long pause to take control of her emotions, she continued. "I never had to feel that scared with you around, I never had...I never showed you how deteriorated it made me. I don't know if I ever want you to see me like that." Swallowing heavily, she skipped subjects. "It hurts me when I tell you that you're my best friend...and you don't say anything. Because I never had many friends, especially not someone I could call a best friend. And it feels like you're rejecting me just like the rest of them." She could see he was about to speak and quickly continued before he could. "I wanted to pull away from you. To hide. But I couldn't, because I didn't think it was fair to you to just stop in the middle like that. So I faked it. Even if you didn't want to say it to me...I couldn't take that 'completion' away from you." "Bryn," he said softly, reaching for her hand with both of his. "I'm sorry, Sabryn. I didn't mean to make you feel like I'm rejecting you. Because I'm not." He squeezed her hands gently. "I put a higher premium on lovers than I do friends. To me, if you're my lover, you're automatically my best friend. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't be saying it to you." He then moved onto a less sensitive subject than her abduction. "I don't want you to feel that you have to fake it with me if you're not interested in sex, or can't achieve an orgasm. Because I can tell the difference, Bryn. And I don't ever want you to feel forced about anything we do, in or out of bed. It's just hard for me to be able to if you're not enjoying yourself," he admitted. "And I want you to feel safe around me, Sabryn. If you need to be that scared little girl, I want you to know you can be that in my arms without fear of judgment or reprisals." Anton squeezed her hand again, tenderly rubbing his thumb over her fingers. "I don't want you to ever feel that you have to hide anything from me." She was crying long before he stopped talking, and it only got worse when he did. She squeezed her eyes shut, her face scrunching up as she fought back the release. "But I hate her. I hate her as much as every else did. And...I don't want you to think of me that way." Getting out of the chair, he walked around the table so he could put his arms around Sabryn. "It's okay, Sabryn," he said. "I could never hate Amanda, because she is a part of you. And I would never think of you as her. Because you are so much more." He gently held her close, stroking her hair. "Maybe, if you're comfortable, we should talk to Mulder about this, so you can learn to forgive Amanda, as well as yourself." She leaned heavily against him, letting the rest of her tears pass. If she ever 'forgave' Amanda Pruitt, she doubted it would be any time soon. She couldn't even imagine inflicting that person on someone she loved, let alone a counselor that she hadn't seen professionally in weeks. "I'm afraid...of letting anyone else see me like that. I don't think I could handle their reaction." Bryn let out a soft sob. "I'm so scared of everyone leaving me." Anton kissed her forehead. "Sabryn, I will never, ever leave you." He held her tightly, trying to reassure her. It was easy to forget sometimes that she was a still a very wounded person who was healing. She had made a lot of progress since meeting him, but there was still some healing to do. "I love you so much. If you need to show me that side of you, don't be afraid. I'm not going anywhere." She squeezed her arms tightly around him, burying her face in his shirt. Voice muffled, she said, "I want to go home. But I think I still have an hour left." Anton continued to stroke her head and shoulders. "Perhaps Justin will let you go home early and make up the time later? Or if you want, I can stay her until it's time to go. Take you home myself." She sniffed, looking up at him. "He's not here. But I think Lynn might cover for me. Let me go ask her." Standing up, she hugged him first, needing to feel his strength for the moment. "My eyes are all puffy, huh?" Anton nodded. "A little, my dear." But before she could head towards the door, he pulled her into a tight embrace. "I love you so much my dear. And you are my best friend, and my lover, and my perfect mate. And I'm going to tell you that as often as you need to hear it for the rest of eternity." "You're gonna make me cry again, Anton." Bryn pressed her lips to his cheek. "I'm sorry I'm being a basket case. Hormones, I think." "Probably," Anton agreed. "So lets go find Lynn and get you home." End Chapter One Hundred Twenty-five <- Previous Chapter | Home | Next Chapter ->