Chapter One Hundred Sixty "That was an awkward dinner," Bryn mumbled, watching her mother head to bed in the library. Taking Max's hand, she followed Anton up the stairs to put the kids to bed as well. "I think Mom was a little hurt we didn't talk to her about it before we told everyone else. But I guess she'll get over it." "Yeah. We should probably apologize to her." Kat snuggled firmly against his shoulder as he carried her to her room, Anton had a slight sway to his step to continue to lull her to sleep. "And I think I need to have a talk with Nathaniel. I got the distinct impression that he was not happy with me at all." "He's scared, Anton. All of us are. Some just hide it better than others." She continued to talk, even as she put Max on the changing table in his room to take off his shoes. "You've been back, what, three months now? And how many times have you talked to Nate since then? Not many. It was hard for me when you were gone a few days in Australia. To him, you were gone a little over four months. And he's just getting you back as a brother. He's afraid of losing you again. Sometimes when people are afraid, they avoid the subject. I don't think he's consciously avoiding you. I think he does it because every time he sees you it brings up bad memories. Now, with you taking over Lilith's job..." "He's losing me again," Anton finished. He let out a heavy sigh, still shifting his weight back and forth. "Maybe this is the wrong thing to do, Bryn. Maybe I shouldn't accept the position, especially if it is going to cause this much strife. I don't want it to drive a wedge between any of us." "So you need to talk to him. The longer you two avoid the issue, the bigger it's going to get." Slipping Max's shirt over his head, she laid him back on the table to work on his jeans. She glanced over her shoulder at Anton. "Does she need to feed?" "She probably should." He bit down on the finger of his left hand, noting that Kat perked up as she smelled fresh blood. "I'd say someone's hungry... ouch." But there was a bit of paternal vampiric pride watching his daughter feed. "And speaking of avoiding the issue, I want the truth, Bryn." He took a deep breath. "Be honest. Do you think this is a stupid idea?" She was quiet for a while as she got Max changed and in to his pajamas. Only his chatter and the baby's sucking filled the room. Taking a deep breath, Bryn finally said, "It was my idea, Anton. Why would I give you a stupid idea?" "It's not that it's a stupid idea, Bryn," Anton said. He shifted Kat in his arms slightly. "But I want to know if you're telling me to do this because you think I want this. Or if you really think I should do this." Picking Max up once more, Bryn carried him over to the rocking chair, where she offered her wrist to him. No longer needing any prompting, he immediately bit down on her flesh and began to drink. "Anton...I don't know...how to answer that. I love you very much and I want you to be happy. But it scares me. And I don't want you turning this down because of me. I don't want to be the reason you say no." "Bryn," he said softly, crossing over to crouch in front of her. "I can't do this without you. But I want you to be sure, absolutely sure, that you're okay with me doing this. It's okay to be scared. But is that fear going to cause problems?" She bit her lip, staring at him, before shaking her head. "No. But I want you to make me a promise. You have to mean what you said. You can't do this without me. I don't want you going in to this alone. I want to know what's happening all the time. I want to go to the meetings with you, when you have them. I don't want any chance for them to try something stupid. And most importantly...I want you to back out when either one of us starts feeling something is off." "I swear it, Bryn. If anything about this feels wrong or off, I will back away. I will not accept the position if there isn't a literal escape clause out of it." Sniffing lightly, she nodded and reached for his hand. "Thank you. That makes me feel better. I don't know if I'll ever feel a hundred-percent great about it, but I know you can do this. I believe in you." It was awkward to balance Kat, who had stopped drinking, and crouch, but somehow Anton managed it. "I know I can do this, Bryn, with your help." Her belief in him was what would keep him going, what would make this somehow work. He felt a small head resting against his shoulder. "Looks like someone's gone to sleep again." "Why don't you put her to bed? I'll join you in the bedroom when he's done. Maybe we could take a shower." "Okay, my dear." He slowly rose to his feet and planted a kiss on Max's head and on Bryn's lips. Then being certain he walked smoothly as to not jostle his daughter, he carried her into her room and crib. Watching Max's eyelids start to droop, Bryn kept rocking until he stopped sucking at her wrist. It was lucky that he and Kat had never had to be burped after feeding from a blood meal. She didn't even want to imagine how messy that would be. Standing up, she walked him over to his crib, settled him on the mattress, and rubbed his back until he fell asleep. Then she quietly turned off the light, shut the door, and headed towards the master bathroom. He had arrived there a few seconds before Bryn. Just long enough to turn down the bed and dim the lights. His mind was still turning over what Nathaniel and Bryn had said. Earlier his convictions about taking the position had been firm. But the more he thought it over and considered what it would be putting his family through, the less certain he became. Smiling at him as she walked in the room, Bryn slipped her shoes off and put them in the closet. "You ready? You look a little lost in your own world." "I guess I am," he said. He sat down on the bed. "Before I talked with the family, I was ready to do this. But the more I think about it, the less confident I become." "Why?" Sitting down next to him, she set her hand on his thigh. "You don't let Lindy's emotions affect you at the warehouse. Why would you let it happen here?" "It's not so much Lindy as Nathaniel," he admitted. "He did raise a lot of valid points. And I know we discussed this earlier. I'm still tumbling it over in my mind." "I know it's Nathaniel. I was illustrating a point. You don't need anyone's permission to do your job, Anton, so why is this any different? If you ask me, this is a job, too. And you're the one who's going to do it. The only thing you need to worry about is whether or not *you* think you can do it." She squeezed his thigh. "Yeah, there's a lot of stuff to consider. We'll need to take extra precautions with our family and ourselves. And some people aren't going to like it. But I'm more concerned about the Council's disapproval than I am of Nate's. He'll get used to it. If he really gets on the ball, maybe he'll even pitch in." "I hope so. I know this is difficult for him." He leaned against Bryn. "I think oddly enough this might be because Ivan trained me to step into this role ever since he declared me his heir. It was always understood that I would, well, not rule while he was around, but would be in command. And if something happened to him, would take over. Nathaniel, however, never had that training." He gave her a half smile. "Which is ironic considering what happened." She smiled, leaning back against him. "Have you realized yet that you're also taking on the protective older-brother role? He's not a child anymore. It's not your job to make him happy." "I think I'm afraid that if I'm going to do something that will mess up our relationship. It's still really fragile, Bryn. A year of being friendly doesn't begin to negate the nine hundred years we were enemies." Standing up, she reached for his hand. "Come on. Let's go get warmed up in the shower. And then maybe I can find something to take your mind off of your brother for a while." "Okay, my dear." Anton took her hand and stood up. He let her tug him towards the bathroom, loosening his jeans as he went. "So do you want to play with the detachable showerhead this time?" She grinned widely at him over her shoulder. "Why do you think I suggested the shower and not the tub?" Turning on the bathroom lights, she started unbuttoning her sweater. "Although, I'm sure you could have some fun with that showerhead, too." "I have to admit that more than once I've wondered what you found so intriguing about it," he said with a slight blush on his cheeks. The fact that he could still blush amazed him sometimes. "So," he asked as he took the edges of her sweater and lowered them off her shoulders. "Would you show me?" She grinned, charmed by his rosy cheeks. "Of course. But you're going to have to trust me. It's not exactly anything we've done before." Stepping even closer to him, she started working on the fly of his jeans. "You up for that?" "After everything we've been through, I should have no problem trusting you with this," he said. He grinned down at her, thrusting his hips forward slightly. There was no way she could miss the bulge growing beneath her hands. "And I'd say that I'm up for it." "I guess so," she said, eyebrow arched. Purposefully brushing her fingers against his crotch as she unzipped his jeans, she pushed up on her toes and kissed him deeply. Hips rocking into her touch, Anton moaned softly and kissed her back. Dropping the sweater to the floor, his fingers tickled down his sides to her jeans. Then they traveled along the waistband to stop at the fly. He paused only for a moment and then began unbuttoning them as well. Moaning softly, she tugged at his lower lip with the tiniest hint of fang. As soon as his pants were unfastened, she shoved them and his boxers down his hips. Moving back a bit so he could step out of them, she grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled upwards. Her nails scratched up his torso, somewhere between scraping and tickling. Anton's stomach flexed under the light scratches Now naked, he concentrated on getting Bryn the rest of the way there. He stepped closer to kiss her neck just below her ear as his fingers tangled in her underwear. He pulled them downwards, his cock throbbing at the sight of her shaved sex. Shimmying out of her panties, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "I love you, my emperor." With that, she nipped at his earlobe before pulling him towards the shower. "And I love you, my empress." He let out a soft laugh. "It feels strange to call you that. And hear you call me emperor." "Yeah." She almost mentioned that it was a little weird to hear him using a name reserved for Lilith, but she really didn't want to bring up that name. Opening the door to the shower, she started the water running to heat it a bit. Then, stepping under the spray, she beckoned him to her. "Come help me get wet." "I thought I was already doing that," he said with a teasing grin. Stepping out of his jeans, he walked into the shower. Hands went to either side of her waist, pulling her close. "Now I believe you were going to show me why you adore this showerhead so." "In a minute, Mr. Eager." She reached for the shower gel. "First, I have to get you all nice and soapy." Pouring a large dollop of the cucumber-scented gel in to her hand, she rubbed it briskly to work up and lather. Then she happily went to work rubbing her hands all over him. She paid special attention to his nipples, turning them in to hard little rocks. All the while, she had a very wide grin on her face. "I could do this all day." "No objections here, my dear." Anton leaned forward into her hands, his moving up to cup her breasts. Kneading softly, he ducked his head to kiss her lips and suck on them before whispering to her. "Feel free to dot his as long as you would like." She grinned at him. Sliding her hands even further south, she left a sudsy trail all over his belly and through his pubic hair. Before giving him what he clearly wanted, she took a moment to reload with more soap. Then she wrapped her hand around his cock and got him very slippery. His balls received the same loving treatment. She couldn't help giggling at the sounds he was making. Anton let out a soft squeak at first, but then a louder and louder one as she continued to stroke him. He rocked back and forth, shifting his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet. "You keep that up and I won't need the showerhead, my dear." "I keep this up and you'll be giving me a shower," she murmured. Urging him to spread his legs apart a bit, she moved around behind him and began soaping up his ass. She couldn't resist squeezing his sweet, round cheeks, nibbling at his shoulders all the while. Her fingers slipped in to the cleft of his ass, rubbing around his anus and all the way down to the base of his balls. His contented grunting encouraged her to carefully push a digit inside him for a moment or two. Anton let out a soft hiss at the feeling of her working her way inside of him. "No, keep going," he whispered, looking back over his head at her. "I just wasn't expecting you to do that. But it feels good." Smiling at him, she said, "I was trying not to hurt you. My nails are a little long." Careful to keep from going too deep, she pushed her finger in a little further. Anton let out a soft moan, toes and fingers curling in pleasure. "Oh trust me, you're not," he said, squirming a bit. "I should have suggested this a while ago." Bryn giggled. "You should have suggested I put my finger up your ass a long time ago?" "I was thinking the detachable showerhead. Which you have yet to use on me. But this is nice too." "I haven't even gotten to the showerhead yet. Just wait. You're in for a treat." Gently angling her fingers, she rubbed against his prostate. "You better tell me to stop if you're getting close. You don't get to cum this way." He let out a shuddering breath as he felt a jolt of pleasure run through the base of his spine. He lifted up on his toes for a second before settling against her fingers. "And how do I get to come?" Pulling her finger out of him abruptly, she reached for the showerhead. "Put your hands on the wall and spread 'em." He arched an eyebrow at her tone, but there was a teasing smile on his face. He slowly did as she asked, facing the wall and spreading his legs wide. The smirk was still on his face as he gave her a sly glance over his shoulder. Biting her lip to hide a smirk of her own, Bryn pointed the rushing water downward and changed the pressure from soft to pulsating. Starting at his shoulders, she started massaging him with the hot water, pummeling his muscles in to submission. The further down she traveled, the more time she took. Anton let out a soft groan, feeling his muscles relax under the constant spray of water. Tensions he hadn't even realized he had developed were slowly draining as his back unknotted itself. Still there was one area where the tension was growing, but this time it was in anticipation. Rubbing his side with her free hand, Bryn grabbed his hip. "Tilt forward a bit." As she brought the showerhead lower, just teasing the top of his cheeks, she reached around to firmly grasp his cock. "And hold on tight." He did as he was instructed, wondering exactly what he could hold on tight too. His fingers curled against the tile and he spread his legs a little wider apart for balance. And his hips held still, although it was tempting to start pumping into her hand. Squeezing him just a bit, she lowered the pounding water even further, letting the powerful jets stream over his anus and perineum for the first time. She was careful to keep her wrist angled so the water never hit his sensitive balls directly. The shock made his hips recoil, and he thrusted in to her hand almost accidentally. She had a feeling that would change quickly. Anton shuddered a breath, feeling the sensations caressing his ass. Inhaling sharply, he let his hips start moving on a slow rhythm in and out of her hand and against the stream of water. Smiling, she kissed his shoulder as she gripped him tightly and began making loose circles with the shower wand. The water pressure was just high enough lightly open the sphincter muscle of his anus, but not enough to actually penetrate. And she imagined that sensation on his perineum was close to how she felt when the wand was turned on her. Unconsciously his hips started to rotate, following her motions. The sensation was intense, causing him to gasp and his hips to push harder against the hand holding him. "Bryn," he whimpered softly as he felt his balls rise. Lifting up on her toes, she squeezed him hard and sank her fangs in to his shoulder as she pressed the shower wand tight to his skin. Anton let out a sharp yell at the dual sensations, his eyes blazing and fangs extending. He tensed as the shockwave of his orgasm rolled through his body, fingers curling and scratching the tile of the shower wall. Pumping his orgasm out of him, she leaned against his back as she tried to catch her breath. Despite him being the one who had orgasmed, she felt just as shaken and weak-kneed as he appeared to be. Flipping the dial on the showerhead, she gradually slowed the stream of water until it was gently coursing over his skin once more. Finally, retracting her fangs, she pressed her lips to his damp flesh. Slowly Anton went slack as well, resting his forehead against the slick tile. Slowly his breath returned to normal as he pressed against Bryn. Turning a bit, he twisted and kissed her softly. "That was wonderful, Bryn." Smiling widely, she hung the showerhead back on the wall and wrapped her arms around him instead. She didn't even need any reciprocation--it was enough that she had made him feel good. That alone was enough to make her blissfully happy as well. Still, his front was very soapy and she urged him to face the spray so she could help him clean up. Rubbing her hands all over his skin, she lifted up to kiss his mouth. "I love you so much, my sugar." He let out a contented sigh as he returned her kiss. "I love you too, my dear." He should have gathered her into his arms and carried her back to their bed for another round of blissful lovemaking. But he had been drained of energy, libido sated for the moment. Hoping she would understand, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, pulling her tight against him. Releasing a soft groan, she leaned in to him, settling her cheek on his shoulder, and hugging him tightly. The warm spray of the shower had a drugging quality and she quickly grew drowsy under its spell. Content and sleepy, she closed her eyes and settled in as if she might take a nap. Anton swayed back and forth, thinking the same thing. Except that there was one more thought nagging at the back of his head. "Bryn," he said sleepily. "We've got to move. Otherwise we're in for a rude awakening when we run out of hot water." She frowned. "We need a shower-slash-bed," she muttered. "Or maybe just an inflatable mattress for the shower." Groaning again, she reached back and shut off the water. "Let's get dry and go to bed." Anton grunted in agreement, reaching out to grab one of the fluffy, oversized towels. He lovingly wiped her down and then wrapped her in another towel. Shivering as the heat and water evaporated off his skin, he dried himself off as well. Scooping her in his arms, he carried her over to the bed and settled her on it, a tender smile on his face. She returned his smile with one of her own, pulling back the covers and quickly crawling under them. Patting the spot next to her, she waited for him to join her as she squeezed all of the water out of her hair with a towel. Then, tossing it over her shoulder, she reached for him and wrapped herself tightly in his arms. Anton smiled, not caring that his hair was still damp as he tucked himself in close to her. He let out another contented sigh, chin resting on top of her head. "So tell me, Bryn," he asked. "How long you think we have until one of the children need our attention?" "I think we have at least a few good hours to sleep. Might as well take advantage of it." She closed her eyes, clinging to his chest as they snuggled in to the covers. It was only a few moments of silence before she opened her eyes once more. "Sugar...would you consider maybe taking me hunting again?" Anton's eyes blinked open in surprise. He hadn't expected her to ask that of him, no more than he could deny her the choice. "If you wish to, my dear. When would you like to go?" She was slightly hesitant in asking. It was hard to admit it, even to herself, but she'd liked her first experience with hunting. She'd relished the adrenaline rush, the surge of power. It was like nothing she'd ever felt before. And she wanted to feel it again...even though it meant killing another human being. Squeezing her eyes shut as a wave of guilt made them overflow, she said, "I don't know." He gently stroked her head, knowing the mixed feelings that she felt. "We will soon, if you want." He'd take the responsibility from her for the moment of deciding when a person had to die. "When you're ready," he reassured. Grasping him tighter, she nodded, her body starting to shake. She hadn't cried after killing that man in the street. But she did now, the tears never ending, such overwhelming guilt for the death of thief and someone new she had yet to meet. "Shhhh" he whispered, trying to soothe her. "It's okay, Bryn," he said, guessing that the reality of their unlife was finally hitting her. Gently he rocked her back and forth. "Just let it all out. Don't worry about hiding it. Get it out of your system." Her eyes began to burn before long, until it felt like liquid fire rolling over her cheeks. Sagged against him, she finally started to calm down. Her eyelids grew heavy again, just as they'd been before. And the storm withered down to nothing as acceptance took hold of her. She wouldn't do what they had planned out of malice...but was too tired to try to justify it in her mind. Perhaps she was just greedy. Whatever the case...she was willing. "Bryn," he said when he felt her calming down. "Right now, your instinct is to hunt. You did well your first time out, but there are things you need to know how to do, situations that you need to learn how to handle. And I'd much rather you do it when I'm around than if you were out on your own in an emergency situation. So I'm not going to discourage you from hunting now. Once you've had some experience, then I'll help you learn to push the instinct back." She lifted her head, eyelashes spiky, to meet his gaze. "What if I don't want to?" "Then we'll deal with it another way. Mock hunts with the werewolves where no one will be permanently hurt. Just so you get some physical experience so it's not all words on a page or sounds in the air." Scooting closer, she wrapped her arms around his neck and let out a soft, wet laugh. It was a perfect solution. And for a moment there, she'd actually doubted. Burying her face against his neck, her eyes moist again--but out of relief, this time--she whispered, "Thank you, my love. Thank you so much." "You're welcome, my dear. Now get some sleep. We'll talk about it when we wake up." Anton kissed the top of her head, relieved that his spur of the moment idea worked. Now he would just have to talk the werewolves into going along with it. She was all alone. They had started hunting together, but she felt him slip away in the darkness and she was on her own. The night was all encompassing, deep shadows and a cold, bleak harbor. In the far distance, she could hear the lonely bell on a floating buoy. The heavy scent of salt water hung in the air, its wetness clinging to her skin. She was so hungry, and desperation made her continue without her mate. She hurried forward almost blindly, searching for the scent by instinct. Blood, warm and rich, running in rivers under the skin. She needed it, could almost taste it now. Fast approaching the next alleyway, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Spinning in its direction, she saw a dark figure moving deeper in to the shadows. [Anton? I'm not alone.] There was someone lurking there. Something malevolent, and yet she wasn't afraid. No, it was curiosity that made her step forward, towards the unknown. Her heart was pounding, and the stranger's could have matched hers beat for beat. Fangs extended, Bryn stepped past piles of garbage and old shipping crates. Deeper in to alley that dead-ended. Ahead of her, the stranger stopped, and she saw that it was a woman. Dark of hair and slight of build, she was standing there with her back to Bryn, just waiting. As if she knew what was to come, and was resigned to her fate. And the hunger wouldn't let Bryn be choosy. She flew forward, grabbing the woman with massive strength, spinning her around to take the fatal bite. Only, the woman wasn't a woman anymore. It was the spindle-limbed, grey-skinned, almond-eyed creature of her nightmares. Alien...reflecting her horrified expression in its glassy stare. Waking with a start, and only barely stifling a scream, Bryn sat up in bed and looked immediately to her left. The bed was empty next to her, blankets pulled back as if Anton had only just left. Breathing heavily, Bryn pulled the covers over her chest and hugged them tight. She shook with fear, almost expecting to see that thing in the room with her. And it made no sense. In all of her memories, the aliens had appeared to her as men...never as gray, mythical creatures. Those were her own imagination, but nevertheless frightening as could be. Squeezing her eyes shut, she took a deep breath...then opened them once more. She was still alone in the room. But she could hear Anton's voice coming through the baby monitor, and it eased the tension from her body. Relief made her see the humor in the situation. She might have laughed...except that she realized the woman in the dream, the one she'd almost bitten, was her. [The alien was me.] Earlier on the baby monitor, he had heard Kat talking to herself in a tone that he recognized. It was one that would end up in full blooded screams if he didn't get her diaper changed fast enough. So Anton got out of bed to take care of her, figuring he would be back in bed before Bryn awakened. So it was a surprise when he walked back in to see Bryn wide awake in the bed. And with a mixed expression on her face. "Bryn," he asked as he headed towards the bed. "Are you okay?" She pushed her hair out of her eyes, looking up at him. "Yeah. I just had a bad dream." Taking a deep breath, she reached for him as he came back to the bed. "I'm fine." He climbed into bed and snuggled up against her. "You want to talk about it?" he asked as his arms went around her tight. He figured it had to be about recent events, given all the trauma they had been through lately. "Was it about Justinius or Lilith?" Pressing her face against his neck, she sniffled softly. "Not really." But she would talk about it anyway, she knew. "It was about the a-aliens." "Aliens?" He looked at her, head slightly tilted to one side. It had been a long time since she had an abduction related nightmare. "What about them?" he asked, stroking her hair. Eyes still closed, she said, "I almost fed on one of them." That wasn't something he had expected to hear. "It's okay, Bryn," he said, keeping her tucked in close. "Can you tell me what happened?" She didn't want to. She just wanted to forget it. Hugging him tightly, her mouth next to his ear, she said, "I was following someone in the dark. I was all alone with her. And she went...down a dark alley. I ran up behind her and grabbed her. I was so hungry. But as she turned...it was an alien. A big, ugly gray thing. It was like an insect. And I think...I think it was me." "Bryn," he said softly, hearing the pain and the shame in her voice. Gently he cupped her face so she looked him in the eyes. "You are not an alien. You were taken by them, given part of them, but you are not one of them." Her eyes quickly saturated. "How do you know that?" "If you were one of them, would you be so upset by that thought right now?" "I don't know, Anton. But look at our children. *Our* children. They aren't natural. They wouldn't exist if they were." "Bryn, by that argument, I'm not natural." He continued to pet her hair, holding her close. "Does it make me a werewolf since in the past I have drunk werewolf blood?" "No, you...you just don't understand. They changed me, Anton. I know they did. Whatever they did to me...I wasn't the same person anymore. I could feel it." "No, you were no more the same person than I was after what Viktor did to me." He ran his thumb along her cheek bone tenderly. "Yes, you were changed after they assaulted you. It's not uncommon to feel that way." "Anton, stop. Stop telling me what I want to hear. It's not..." Lost for words, she took a deep breath. "You know it's true. I can walk in sunlight when I should be dead." There really wasn't anything he could say in response to that. "But you're not *like* them, my dear. You wouldn't snatch an innocent child in the dead of night to terrify her and do god knows what to her." She stared at him silently for a while. "No...but I would kill her father if I was hungry enough. Or her mother. Siblings. Who knows who else." "And so you think you're no better than one of them?" he said. "Do you think they mourn those they kill or hurt? Do they wake up in cold terror when they have a nightmare about what they did?" "I don't know." It was all she could say. "I don't know why they do what they do. I don't know what they feel. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I just don't know." "Bryn, you are supposed to feel like a mother, a lover, a wife. How you've felt for the last two years." He pressed his lips to her temple. "Are you more worried about being part alien, or part monster?" She gripped his arms tightly, shuddering. "Both." "You are not a monster," he said firmly. "Lilith, Natasha, they are monsters. What the aliens did to you makes them monsters. You are not like them in the least." Hugging him tightly, she pressed her mouth to his ear once more. "So why do I still feel like one?" "Because you're still adapting to be a vampire. Because you're still dealing with with the guilt of hunting. It's only natural, Bryn." She knew what he would say. She knew he would tell her that she would never think he was a monster if the situation was reversed, and it was true. She would never think that. But she couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was wrong. Not wanting to worry him any further, she sank deeper in to his embrace, allowing him to soothe her the way only he knew how. He hadn't been able to reassure her, and felt that he had failed her. But Anton continued to stroke her and cuddle her close. "Do you want to talk to Mr. Mulder about this, Bryn?" As much as it galled to admit it, the former FBI agent might have be able to help her better than he could. She sniffled and nodded. "I want to ask him about his partner...the one who wasn't supposed to be able to have a baby." Anton nodded. "We'll call him first thing at sundown," he promised. She let out a shaky breath. "I wish you didn't have to work." "Well, I do know the boss," Anton said. "I think I might be able to twist his arm into giving me the night off." She gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry I'm such a basket case. I didn't mean to be. I thought hunting would be like...a bonding experience or something." "It's okay, Bryn. It's too be expected. You remember Lindy had a hard time with hunting too." He kissed her lightly. "You're doing well, Bryn. You're handling everything that was thrown at you including your Transformation so much better than I would." "I didn't want to be a wimp about it. And I feel like I've let you down." "You are not a wimp, Bryn. You are a brave vampiress learning to deal with your unlife who has made this vampire very, very proud." She pressed her lips to him, giving him a lingering kiss. "I love you, Anton." "I love you too, my dear." He rocked her back and forth, kissing her. "Do you think you'll be able to go back to sleep, or do you want to go get something to eat?" "I'm not really tired anymore. But I'm not very hungry either." She let out a soft sigh. "Anton...it's not so much that I still feel guilt about killing people. I mean, I do...but...I feel more guilty that I want to keep doing it. I put all of that pressure on you before to drink cow's blood, because no one got hurt that way. And now I'm going against that. I just...I need to know you're not ashamed of me." "I am not ashamed of you, Bryn. You are the most courageous person I know. The most loving person I know. The woman who I love so very, very much." He rubbed his cheek against hers. "And as for drinking cows blood, I want you to learn how to hunt. And after that, if you wish to continue hunting, that is fine. If you only want to live on animal blood, that is fine too. I'm not going to judge you." Growing tired of weeping, she tried very hard not to cry as she hugged him tightly. "Thank you. I love you very much too." She pulled back a bit to look at him and smile. "I wish I could take back some of the things I said to you, before I understood. I hope you know I didn't mean to hurt you." "I know, my dear." He smiled down at her. "I'm sorry I didn't prepare you better for this. Even though I thought I would have more time, I should have made certain you understood everything that is involved before Transforming you." She kissed him again. "I know. And you are still teaching me. I learn more every day. I guess we'll learn together. Maybe by the time the kids are old enough to understand, we'll have it all together." "And then they'll come up with entirely new questions for us to think about." He smiled at her, kissing her forehead and then her lips. "I love you so much, my dear. And I'm so proud of you. I'm sorry I don't say it nearly enough." She squeezed him, returning his kiss. "And I'm sorry I don't say it often enough to you. I'm always proud of you, Anton. And I know you can do anything. Even if it means taming the Council." "Now that is going to be a challenge, my dear. I don't think the Council can be tamed." He laid down, pulling her down next to him. "So you're not hungry, and you don't want to go back to sleep. What would you like to do?" She shrugged, snuggling closer. "What do you want to do?" "Mmm...." He made a thoughtful noise. "I think we can find ways to keep ourselves entertained." "What if I'd rather you kept me entertained instead of yourself?" "Oh? And how would you like me to entertain you?" "I don't know," she said, feeling oddly shy. "I'll let you decide that." Anton smiled. "If you insist." Already naked from their earlier lovemaking, he sat up and shifted so he straddled her thighs. "How about this?" he said with a suggestive leer. "You can look, but not touch." Biting her lip, she slowly lifted her arms and pressed her hands to the headboard. She was more than ready for something to take her mind off of her dream. "Okay." Anton smiled and pulled the sheets away. "Remember. No touching." Reaching out, he traced an index finger over her lips, slowly encouraging them to part. Slowly he worked his index finger in and out of her mouth, wetting the tip before sliding it down her chin and neck towards her left breast. There was a look of intense concentration on his face as slowly the digit spiraled upwards and inwards towards her nipple. Swallowing heavily, she watched his movements closely. Her back arched, pressing her towards his finger. But she managed not to move otherwise. His other hand began to play as well. But not on her body. Instead, Anton's hand slid over his chest, plucking at his nipples until they were stiffly at attention. All the time his eyes never left hers as he gave her right breast the same loving treatment he had the left. Shivering lightly, she licked her lips and arched her back a bit higher. She stared at his chest, thinking that his nipples looked absolutely bitable. Pressing harder against the headboard, she let out a slow breath. Seeing he had he full attention, Anton pulled his hands away from her body. Now both slid over his chest and down his abs, occasionally slipping down to lightly tug on his growing erection. The sight was almost too much. Wriggling below him, she bit her lip and let out a soft whimper. "More," she said. "I want to watch you cum." Anton let out a soft moan at her words. But his eyes were locked on hers as his hands slid lower down his abdomen. Long fingers scratched through his pubic hair before wrapping around his erect flesh. Slowly his hand started stroking the length of his shaft. Nails scratching against the headboard, Bryn bit her lip harder, until she drew blood. She was shuddering visibly below him, her eyes wide as she watched him. He was so sexy he made her mouth water. It was hard not to touch him. There was a devilish glint in Anton's eyes as he continued to pump his cock. And when the scent of blood hit him, he found it impossible to resist. Bending low, he licked at her lower lip, lapping up that spill of blood. She opened her mouth to him, unable to resist meeting his tongue with her own. And when he didn't immediately pull away, she kissed him in return. Nipping and sucking at his lips and tongue, she pushed her chest against his, eager to feel him against her tight nipples. He knew he should be punishing her for pushing against him. But why would he want to punish himself by not feeling those soft lips against him? But eventually he pulled back, staring down at her as he resumed pumping his cock Although it was tempting to have her start pumping him as well. Whining softly, she said, "You're a tease. An evil tease." Trying to move her legs beneath him, she found herself completely trapped. "Come on. Do it faster." "You mean like this?" Anton said, speeding his hand up. HIs eyes shut and he leaned back slightly, supporting his weight with his other hand. Panting softly, she nodded and licked her lips. He was amazing to watch and she wished they had set up the video camera. The expression on his face was full of lust and need, and she couldn't help noticing that the slit at the tip of his cock had dilated as he grew closer to orgasm. "Yes, sugar. You're so hot, and I can't wait to see to you cum. Do it. Cum for me. Cum all over me." He wasn't certain if it was the heat in her words. Or the fire in her eyes. Or the glint of light that reflected off her fangs. But it only took a few more strokes and he was cumming hard like she requested. Her chest was heaving hard as his cum splattered over her breasts. She watched in fascination, her own body shaking with near-completion. The next strokes left streaks over her breasts, her belly, and her naked sex, and she undulated below him with the need to touch. Anton was panting heavily as he came down from his high. He could see the need in Bryn though as he backed down her body. Letting go of his cock, his fingers then delved between her lower lips. Gasping, she arched her back again and tried to spread her legs as far as she could...which wasn't far. She lifted her hips a bit, twitching as his touch found its mark. "Oh God...yes, sugar, please..." Anton's fingers continued to pump in and out of her. Now his thumb brushed against her clit with each stroke, teasing and tormenting her. "Now it's your turn, Bryn," he said in a low, sultry voice. "Cum for me." Panting hard, she tossed her head on the pillow and moved her body in rhythm with his hand. Her skin was flushed from cheeks to chest, her limbs lightly shaking in anticipation. Unable to stop moaning, she finally gave in to her body's demands and grabbed him around the neck, pulling him down for a hard kiss as she started cum hard around his fingers. He let out a gasp at feeling her squeezing his fingers so tight and her lips pressing against his. But Anton continued pumping her, trying to draw out the pleasure as long as he could for her. And he didn't stop them moving until she signaled she had enough by grabbing his wrist. Slowly he withdrew his fingers, letting them cup between her legs lightly. Whimpering softly, Bryn wrapped her thighs around his wrist as she hugged him tightly. She was breathing heavily as she settled back on the pillow, her eyes lightly glazed as she stared at him. "Mmm. That was nice." "Very nice," Anton agreed. He snuggled down next to her, brushing her lips over her shoulder. His hand slipped up her body to now rest on her waist, arm lightly curving with her body. Tangling her legs with his, she snuggled close with a smile on her face. "Thank you, sugar. You made me forget about all of that bad stuff. Although, we may have to take another shower now. Or at least I should." "Yeah," he said. "If we take one together, we'd need a shower after our shower. And then one after that. And before you knew it, we'd be through half of San Francisco's water supply." She grinned at him, leaning close for another kiss. "Well, if you have decided to stay home, you could just get dressed and go downstairs to make us some breakfast. I'm thinking some waffles or pancakes would be nice." "If you'd like, my dear." He kissed her lightly on the nose before crawling out of the bed. "But you do have to answer one question first," he said, pulling on a pair of sweats. "Maple or boysenberry syrup?" She smiled widely at him. "Actually, how about some French toast with powdered sugar, instead?" "French toast it is." Anton leaned down and kissed her lips lightly. "See you in about fifteen minutes." Pulling on his shirt, he headed towards the door. "Make it twenty. And Anton...I love you. So very much." He turned back at the door to blow a kiss to her. "Love you too, my dear." And then he was through it and gone. "You want us to do what?" Earlier in the evening, Anton called up to the werewolves and asked if he could come over to talk with them. At first the chatter had been lighthearted stuff about the children growing, how he was adjusting to Bryn's mother being around, and how soon the construction on the house for her would be completed. But eventually he got to the real reason that he was here, which had prompted Jess' disbelieving question. "It's simple, really," Anton said. "Bryn needs stalking and hunting practice, but she doesn't want to endanger any human lives. And after a nightmare last night, I don't think she'll be able to hunt anyone any time soon." "But you want us to allow Bryn to hunt us," Jess repeated. Anton nodded, understanding their reluctance. "But she needs practice. She knows intellectually what needs to be done, but she need experience, muscle memory. So I would like her to practice on any of you who are comfortable doing it," he finished. There were three mixed expressions on their faces. "What's the risk?" Alex asked. "There still has to be some danger." "There is," Anton admitted. "She could always drain you to the point where even your accelerated healing won't be able to keep up with your blood loss. At that point you have to choices - to be Transformed, or to die." "There's also a risk to Bryn," Walter pointed out. "It's one thing to volunteer to be fed on from an arm. But if we feel fangs in our throats, our instinct will be to defend ourselves. We might not be able to override it." Anton swallowed. That was obviously not an option he had considered when he came up with the idea. Walter shared a look with Alex and Jess. "Give us some time to talk it over, Anton," he said. "We'll give you a call later tonight with our decision." "Okay," Anton said. There was some more small talk about Liam, and though they tried to make it lighthearted, it was hard to keep it that way. After a few minutes, Anton said his goodbye and headed back to his home. Now all he could do was wait for the decision. But as he stepped out the door, he heard Jess' voice. "He wants us to do *what*?" End Chapter One Hundred Sixty <- Previous Chapter | Home | Next Chapter ->