Runs in the Blood, Chapter Fifty-one

Chapter Fifty-one

It was nearly time to leave when she got up the nerve to ask. Standing behind the couch, Lindy watched the television for a moment catching his attention. Liam lay asleep on Nate's chest, while he watched baseball on the large screen TV.
"Nate?" she said, softly, so as not to wake up the baby. When he turned his attention to her, she forced herself not to fidget. "Would you be willing to go to my hypnosis with me?"
"What do you mean? Just to watch?"
"Yes."
He looked almost relieved at her answer. "Yeah, sure...what about Liam? Can someone watch him for a while?"
"I'm sure Mom would. Or Bryn would too. Although we might want to warn her about Liam spontaneously Changing. I'm almost afraid of what damage he and Petunia could do to the house." She leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "I really appreciate you going with me, Nate. I have to admit I'm a little scared of what I'm going to find out."
He sat up carefully, resting his hand over hers on the back of the couch. "If it gets too intense, I'll tell her to stop. I'd rather you had a couple of hang-ups in bed, than have all of the memories come flooding back and go into a total panic. Remember, it's your choice, Lind. If you're too scared, you don't have to do this at all."
"It's not that, Nate. And I do think I need to do this." She didn't mention what had happened with Bryn. That was between her and Anton. If they felt that Nathaniel needed to know, it would be their place to tell him. "Zenobia and I have been talking about what happened to me, and we both agree that I need to give it a try."
"All right..." He stood up, Liam lying against his shoulder, and walked towards the bedroom. Grabbing the diaper bag, he headed back to the foyer and waited for her to join him. "Let's go then."
When they were done dropping off Liam with Bryn, they walked down the paved road to Jess's home. Once again, Zenobia's car was parked out front. Although she had a long way to drive from Oregon, Nate had made sure Zen had extravagant accommodations at a nearby hotel. As much as she was welcome to stay in their home, she also needed her privacy and a place to unwind.
Nate kept his arm around Lindy's shoulders as they walked up the front steps, and he could feel her slight trembling. "Is there anything you want me to do, to make you more comfortable?"
She gave him a weak smile. "You being here is enough." She reached out to open the door, but was surprised when it was jerked out of her hand. Her parents, sister, and Chandra trooped out the door. Jess smiled at them. "Zenobia's here, and we're going to dinner so you guys can have the house to yourselves. See you later."
She watched as they all walked out and got into the car. Lindy reached for Nate's hand and squeezed it as the car started up. "Ready?" she asked, as if he were the one who was going to be hypnotized and not her.
"Yep."
Zenobia was surprisingly subdued this time. Imagining it was probably from the events the day before, Lindy quietly sat down in the recliner. They went through the same procedure as they had with Bryn, only this time the relaxation took much longer. Her thoughts were jumping from place to place, her body shivering, and she couldn't seem to focus on not focusing. Very patient, Zen gave her as much time as she needed. Once they started the actual hypnosis, Lindy was already growing sleepy from the extra stress on her system.
Slowly, Zenobia began talking her through the events of her childhood. Unlike trying to put her in the trance, Lindy talked about what had been done to her without any hesitation. But when Zenobia asked her 'What was the worst way he hurt you?' her whole demeanor changed. Her voice deepened and took on a vaguely French accent and even her face seemed to change.
"The full moon was my undoing. The brothers had been out hunting, as had I. Our paths crossed as we returned to the keep. Seeing a wolf so close to their cattle, they reacted as any would, and shot at me with their crossbows. I do not know if it was my beloved's arrow, or his brothers' who pierced me, but pierced by him I had been.
"Instead of fleeing into the woods, as a wild wolf would, I fled to the keep, the brothers on my trail. It was the elder, the vampire, who seized me near the stables, blood from my wound staining my hastily pulled on dress. He realized what I was almost as soon as he saw me, and brought me before his father, the Count, with my beloved following."
Nate sat forward on the couch, his heart beating a little faster. He glanced at Zenobia, and she shook her head. She sighed in exhaustion, as if she'd been expecting this. How could she have known--unless she was in on it, too? This had to be a big practical joke. But he wasn't laughing.
Lindy continued her tale without hesitation. "Before the Count, I was forced to reveal myself. I begged him for my life, swearing a pact with them. For I knew what he and the elder brother were from the moment I met them. True, it was common knowledge in the keep and lands, but it was whispered and never spoken. In return for my pledge of good behavior and leaving their lands unmolested, I would be allowed to live.
Her head bowed, her expression becoming more and more troubled. "But I ceased to exist for my beloved. He watched me with cold eyes whenever I was in his presence serving my lady. No summons to him or his bed came. No secret trysts away from the gossiping mouths of the other servants. Although it broke my heart, I longed for the day that my lady would return to her home, even if it meant that I would be forced into a cold marriage and loveless bed with my betrothed.
"Then I learned I was pregnant by him."
Nate stood up abruptly, a bitter smile on his face. [I knew it!] Only two others still lived to tell the tales of those days, and he'd instinctively known this wasn't Anton's joke. Somehow, in some cloaked form, Natasha was responsible for this. Only she knew the details well enough to plan this farce. And although he wanted to stop this stupid trance and shake Lindy so hard her teeth rattled, getting her to admit the truth, a large part of him couldn't believe that she had a hand in this. [Please, God, let her be an unwitting accomplice...please tell me she didn't know.]
Her words were now hurried, distress flickering over her face. "I told no one. I was trapped. By the time we would return, my condition would be obvious. My betrothed would turn me away. My family would be shamed at my dishonor. My beloved lover would have nothing to do with me. And I did not know how the Count would react to learning his wife's son had bastard offspring by a werewolf. So I held my tongue until I could decide what to do.
"And then the night of blood occurred."
Nate was pacing now. Telling himself over and over again that Natasha made it up, that there was no pregnancy. That this whole story was one big pack of lies. Details...details, little pieces of information were true...but the big picture? No, it was a lie. He didn't have a child by Lindara. It wasn't possible.
Zenobia watched Nathaniel nervously and tried to break Lindy out of the trance. However, her altered voice continued speaking, determined to tell the tale in full. "I fled the keep when word came that the Count was dead, and the elder son to return most likely to a deathtrap. And if the villeins were crying for vampire blood, what defense did a lone werewolf have? But when I came across the trail of the older son, who had always treated me kindly even after my secret was revealed, being followed by a mob of seven men, I could not stand idly by. The sun was in the sky, and he would be helpless. I came upon them as they were about to drag him from the safety of a cave into the sunlight.
"I slaughtered them, a wolf among lambs."
He put his hands over his face, then slid them into his hair, pulling hard, nearly ripping the strands out of his head. [Jesus Christ!] He'd heard some of these details years later, from Natasha, who'd learned the information from Anton himself. Tilting his head back, he took a couple of steps towards the door, resisting the urge to bolt like a dog shocked by an electric fence.
Her voice grew quieter, sadder. "We traveled together apace, always at night. Quickly he and his love learned I carried his brother's children. He would have cared for me and mine, out of a sense of obligation. But he was so in love with his new wife, and so heartbroken over the loss of his old life, that I could not burden him further. As soon as I was certain that they were safe, I slipped away into the daylight.
"I wandered far afield, living off the land as a wolf seeking a lair to birth her cubs, until I came across the holding of an old, childless widower. He welcomed me into his home, but not his bed, grateful for the companionship I provided. And when my son and daughter were born, he named them his own, assuring them his lands when he died. I would have gone to his bed out of gratitude if only for that."
He couldn't listen to it anymore. It took less than four strides to reach the doorway, and then Nate was gone. Running as fast as he could, sobbing for breath, digging his keys out of his pocket before he even reached their house. He nearly broke the key in the lock in his haste to open the door. And he might've left then and there, if his eyes hadn't caught on the glint of the silver knife lying on their dresser.
Zenobia quickly brought Lindy of her trance as soon as Nate left the room. Not bothering to even look at Zenobia, Lindy ran out of her parent's home. Trying to make sense of what just happened, she followed his trail back to their home. She ran through the wide open front door. Almost tripping over an agitated Montel, she hurried to their bedroom, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw him holding the silver knife they had chosen together to help Transform her. "Nate," she said quietly, eyes flicking between the gleaming blade and his gleaming eyes. "What are you doing?"
His eyes were nearly expressionless as he stared at her. A little wicked, scary, like lifeless doll eyes, long black lashes sweeping with each blink, turning back to the knife with fascination. He pricked his finger on the sharp tip, rolling the drop of blood between his forefinger and thumb, then looking at the already healed wound. He took a step towards her, than another, something not quite right about him. Something a little insane and out of control. A dark dangerous part of him coming out to play a deadly game. She wasn't expecting his arm to snake out and grab hers, to drag her back against him with ridiculous ease. And she certainly never expected to find herself trapped between his strong arm and his chest, her back to him, with a very sharp knife at her throat.
She swallowed, trying not to move, not to tremble, not to breathe. If that knife bit into her flesh, she was dead. And she wasn't certain that Nate was in enough control to Transform her. "Nate, you're scaring me," she whispered. So close to him, she couldn't look into his eyes. Her own fear smelled sour in her nose. Nathaniel's scent she didn't want to contemplate.
"Good," he whispered, low and even. "You're scaring me, too." The knife shook in his hand, dangerously close to her skin. She could see his white-knuckled grip, the muscles in his arm clenched. Other than that, she was blind to his expression. "Who told you that stuff? Was it Anton? Where'd it come from?"
"I...I don't know," she whispered. If it had been a regular knife, she would have knocked it from his hands, not worrying if it would cut her or not. But now she couldn't even risk being nicked by it. "No one told me any of it. It just came spilling out, and I couldn't stop it."
He twitched, the tip of the knife sinking into her flesh.
She had a moment or two to think about it before she saw the thin wisp of smoke floating before her face. She wanted to cry, to beat him, but she couldn't do either as he grasped her hair and wrenched her hair back, his sharp fangs piercing her neck. She cried out in pain, a delayed reaction from the first wound, an mixture of anger and relief from the second. He was so strong, sucking at her neck so fiercely her legs gave way beneath her and they both crashed to their knees on the floor.
She choked, gagging for breath. The pain in her neck grew worse as the roaring in her ears became louder. Then her vision started darkening and everything else seemed to be fading away. Even his weight pressed full length on her didn't seem so heavy any more. She was dying, and she couldn't dredge up enough energy to care.
He pushed himself off of her enough to move his knife to the other hand, quickly slashing his wrist and bringing it to her mouth. At first, she didn't respond, and his fear and anger got the best of him.
"Drink, damn it! *Drink*!"
He almost shoved his wrist into her mouth, and the taste of his blood on her tongue brought a small tremor of recognition.
Weakly, she lapped at his wrist. A drop of blood hit the back of her throat, and she reflexively swallowed. Her breathing slowed, rattling in her throat, and then stopped.
Nate leaned over her, staring into her lifeless eyes. "No..."
He wasn't ready for when she let out a loud gasp, and her eyes flamed. Vampire, not werewolf, fangs extended and she clamped down on his wrist, snapping the bones.
He roared in pain, falling forward over her, managing to keep from collapsing on her only by his elbow. He pressed his forehead hard to her chest, panting heavily to control the pain, a growl trapped in his throat, fighting the urge to drag her off his wrist. Despite the agony of his arm, he was as hard as stone in his jeans. He tugged hastily at his fly, ripping open the buttons, shoving his hand inside his briefs to grab his swollen cock. He hissed at the sweet torture of his fingers grasping his shaft.
She continued to drink, growing stronger with each swallow. Her senses were different now, her sense of smell greatly reduced. To her it seemed she had a bad cold. But she didn't need an enhanced sense of smell to sense his arousal. Letting go of his wrist, she used one hand to pull his head to her mouth, and her other squeezed over his hand on his cock, fingers interlacing.
He kissed her harshly, nipping at her lips, grinding his mouth into hers, fucking her with his tongue. He pulled his broken wrist back, waiting for the wound to heal before putting any weight on it. When he could finally move it without wincing in pain, he reached between them and ripped her jeans open. Grabbing one side of the fabric he pulled with inhuman strength, shredding the denim down the middle and dragging the remains off her body. Barely take the time to shove the crotch of her panties aside, he pushed her hand away and stabbed inside of her. Lifting her hips into the air with the force of his thrust.
She let out an angry squeal. She planted her feet against the floor, giving her leverage to push her hips up to meet his lunges. She nipped back at his mouth, pulling his shirt up so she could run her nails over his chest.
He gasped at the scratching on his chest, rearing up with him arms fully extended to watch her while he fucked her. He grinned ferally at the glitter in her eyes, the glow of vampire blood running through her veins. Her watched her breasts bounce, his cock pushing into her over and over again. He thrust a little harder, spreading her wide with his thighs between hers. An almost savage need marked his face, strained the muscles in his neck.
She panted heavily, her nails scratching him harder. Her hands slid around his back. She stared into his eyes, spreading her legs wider. Lindy pushed harder against him, making her clit rub against his pelvis. She could also feel a different kind of hunger pulsing through her veins, the longing for fresh blood. Her eyes went hot, her fangs still extended as she ran her tongue over them.
He grew hotter still at the look on her face, nodding at her in encouragement. He placed a finger over her lips, silently telling her to keep them closed for a moment longer, then lowered himself onto her body. Still thrusting deeply, he sank his fangs into her neck, and jerked against her as she did the same to him. He came almost immediately, stabbing deep inside of her, the force of his orgasm shaking him to the core.
She drank deeply, shuddering as she came hard against him. One hand cradled his head while one went to his ass, squeezing and pulling him even deeper inside her, not willing to let him slip out just yet. She could feel him also sucking from her neck. For that moment they were perfectly balanced in pleasure, giving and taking their blood from each other.
He grew almost drowsy on top of her, suckling like a child, lying heavily on her body. He could feel himself still hard inside of her, still aroused, and he rolled over onto his back, carefully pulling her with him. Staying connected with her neck, and her with his, he braced his feet flat on the ground and lazily thrust himself into her sex. His hand rubbed in wide circles across her back, almost soothingly as they continued to drink.
She pushed harder against him, still sucking. Each swallow brought a renewed jolt of pleasure through her body. Flexing her hips, she continued to move on him as her hands tangled in his hair. She felt like she could do this forever.
Unfortunately, he couldn't. The memories came flooding back like broken shards of glass spilling around him. He squeezed his eyes shut, moved faster, trying to block them out, but it was impossible. After a moment, he stopped moving altogether and withdrew his fangs. He let his head fall back to the floor, his eyes shut, shaking with the need to run somewhere far away, somewhere where no one knew him and no one gave a damn what he'd done in the past.
She sensed something was wrong and pulled out her fangs. He was trembling beneath her, and not in the way he had been earlier. She sat up, running her hands over his chest. "Nathaniel?" she said, frowning at him. "Nathaniel, love, what's wrong?" Climbing off of him, she tried tugging him to his feet. "Nathaniel, talk to me."
He sat up, pressing his forehead to his knees for a moment before getting to his feet. He looked uncertainly at her, his eyes looking abnormally large with sadness, then walked silently into the bathtub and turned on the water. He pulled his shirt, jeans, and underwear off. He climbed in, before the temperature had a chance to regulate, and sat glumly staring at the water.
Lindy followed, pulling her shirt over her head. Also slipping her bra and panties off, she grabbed a washcloth from one of the towel racks. Kneeling beside the bathtub, she dipped the cloth into the almost too hot water and gently stroked it over his back. "Nate, what's wrong?"
He sucked in a gasp, almost convulsively shaking, and buried his face between his bent knees. He couldn't cry silently, like he was trying to, and his futile attempt left him choking and gasping with his sobs. Somewhere under the agony, he let out a whispered, "I'm sorry," but couldn't meet her gaze.
Lindy put her arms around him, hugging and rocking him as he cried out his misery. "C'mon Nate, talk to me. Just get it out. Get it all out." She gently stroked his back. "What happened? Who was she?"
When he could finally control himself enough to talk, he mumbled, "You don't understand...I was never going to tell you. Never. I don't know how you found out, but you shouldn't have."
"Found out what, Nate?" She gently stroked a lock of hair back out of his eyes. "Yes, I don't understand. I need you to explain it to me." She lightly touched her neck. "I need to know why you felt necessary to do this now instead of waiting like we'd decided."
"Because I didn't want to lose you again! I didn't want to spend another 900 years, hoping I'd come across the only woman I have ever loved in my entire life." He saw the look on her face and nodded. "Yes, I told you before we were married that you were the first woman I ever loved. I had an inkling then of what I was dealing with, but I had no idea you'd remember. You are the first, ever. I let you go nine hundred and eight years ago. And it was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. The stupidest thing I've ever done. And I not only lost you, I lost everything. My family, myself, my dignity, the woman I loved..." he sobbed, "and my children."
She held him close, letting him cry into her shoulders. "Shhhh... " she soothed, stroking his hair. Realizing the tub was about to overflow, she reached over and shut off the water. The memories she had from being under hypnosis were still fuzzy, but she understood vaguely what he was talking about. "You loved her a lot, didn't you?" She gave a little laugh. "I'm not even sure what her name was."
He shook his head, still resting his forehead on her shoulder. "Not 'her'. You. Your name was Lindara. And you were Natasha's lady in waiting. You and Brinley...Bryn. You were both there. Until I made you go."
She gently stroked his hair. She leaned against the tub, its side digging into hers. "But you're not going to make me go now, Nate. I will be with you always. Scoot forward." She waited for him to move forward and then climbed into the tub behind him, some of the water splashing onto the tile floor. She leaned back and pulled him with her so he was now cradled on her chest. Lindy pressed her lips to his hair. "What happened? Was it because she...I didn't tell you the truth about what I was?"
He nodded, moisture dribbling over his cheeks. "I was scared. It was bad enough living in a country I hated, with no friends...then to find out my new family was made of vampires, and the woman I thought was completely honest with me...was not only engaged to be married to someone else, but also a werewolf. I knew--I knew I could never have you, I knew you'd leave anyway, but I never knew about," he sucked in a shuddering breath, "the babies. I would've followed you to the ends of the earth if I knew."
She gently rubbed her fingers in a wide circle on his chest. She took a deep breath, trying to reach those emotions she remembered under hypnosis. "I never meant to lie to you about either being a werewolf, or about being betrothed. Everything happened so quickly and I had never been in love before either. The babies...our children...I didn't know how you'd react. So when everything fell apart that night, my first thought was to get away. To make sure they were protected first. I should have told you." Lindy frowned, thinking. "Were you Transformed before I left? Is that part of the reason you stayed away from me?"
He squeezed his eyes shut. "Yes. Anton should've let me die, but he didn't. Fucking horse should've done it's job in the first place. Instead of killing me, it paralyzed me...snapped my spine. I never seem to get anything right."
"Don't you *dare* talk like that, Nathaniel!" She sounded both angry and scared at the same time. "If you had...succeeded for lack of a better word, we wouldn't be together now. Liam wouldn't have a loving father who would do anything for him. And I would still be alone."
He leaned his head back on her shoulder, silent for the moment. The tears of his face slowly began to dry, his breathing beginning to return to normal.
"I spent so much time hating him and his father for making me live. So much time hating my existence. And all this time, I never knew...I had children. I'll never know them, or their faces. I'll never hold them." The tears started again. "My own children, and I never knew. And they probably hated me until they died. They hated me...almost as much as I hated myself."
"No, they never knew what happened. I hid that from them." Lindy kissed the top of his head again. "They thought you had died long before they were born. Which, in a way, is the truth, I guess." Her hands resumed the soothing circling of his chest. "My God! Liam."
"What?"
"I was just thinking. What if he were your... oh man, I'm not even sure how many greats, grandson?"
He let out a small laugh, little more than an expulsion of air. "I wish. It doesn't seem very likely."
He turned his head, burying his forehead against her neck. His voice was quiet but intense as he said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did tonight, and what I did back then. I never meant to hurt you, Lind. And I'll be sorry for the rest of my life. Just, please...please, please forgive me."
She gently kissed his forehead. "I forgive you, Nate. For everything." She took a deep breath. "How are we going to explain this to my parents? Or Bryn and Anton? And I'm sure Zenobia thinks we've got to be completely psycho by now."
"I don't know...but it can wait until tomorrow night. For tonight, I just want get Liam, and spend the day in bed with both of you. I just want to lay there and hold you. I'm not sure I can manage much else yet."
"Okay," she whispered, kissing his temple. She watched him push up out of the water, standing there dripping. She also stood up and reached for one of the towels on the rack next to the tub. After they stepped out, she ran the towel over him, drying him off gently and then wrapped it around his waist. Wrapping another towel around her. "I'll go let Zenobia know that we're okay, and go get Liam." She put an arm around him and guided him into their bedroom. After handing him a pair of sweats, she pulled on some leggings, T-shirt and sandals, and pulled her slightly damp hair back into a ponytail. She brushed her lips over his sad eyes. "I'll be right back, Nate."
She walked out of the bedroom and the house, hurrying back to her parent's home. It didn't look like the other werewolves had returned, but Zenobia was on the porch, talking worriedly with Anton and Bryn, Liam resting against Anton's shoulder. "I'm sorry about that Zenobia. Nate just freaked out when he heard me saying all that."
"But everything's okay?" Zen asked.
"Yeah," Lindy said, flipping her wet ponytail away from her neck.
Anton looked at her and frowned, eyes noting a mark on her neck an inch and a half above her collarbone. He knew that Nathaniel could be impulsive when he felt threatened and Zenobia had been telling he and Bryn that she hadn't seen Nate that upset before. "Lindy, tell me that's a hickey on your neck."
Lindy touched the small knife wound, which had healed over, but left a visible mark. "No," she said softly, blushing while she shook her head.
Bryn stared openly at the mark, reminding herself that Lindy healed quickly and without scars. There could only be one reason why she'd have a mark like that, on her neck no less. Sitting down on the porch next to Zenobia, she fought back her sudden sadness. She knew she should've been happy for Lindy and Nate, but she couldn't bring herself to feel it. She could only glance at Anton and wait for his reaction.
Anton took a deep breath. When Zenobia had told them that Lindy had spontaneously reverted to a past life during her therapy, and that Nathaniel not only had recognized her, but was extremely upset, he guessed that Nathaniel would react badly. But he hadn't expected him to Transform Lindy. The question in his mind that he couldn't ask was if it was deliberate, or was it an almost deadly accident? "Are you sure you're okay with what happened, Lindy?"
"Yes, but I'm still in shock." She gave him a half smile. "Ask me again tomorrow night."
He tried to return her smile, but couldn't. All he could feel was worry that she hadn't fully conceived what happened to her yet, and an intense jealousy that he and Bryn would still have to wait.
Zenobia stood up, brushing off her pants. "I should probably be going. My boyfriend is supposed to call tonight at nine." She walked over and grasped Lindy by the shoulders. "I'm going to be leaving for home tomorrow morning, but you have my cell phone number. If you need anything, before next weekend, just let me know and I'll help any way I can."
"Thank you." Lindy surprised everyone by pulling Zenobia into a warm hug. "I know we didn't get off on exactly the right foot, but I really do appreciate all the help you've given me and coming down here every weekend." Lindy gave her a slightly rueful smile. "You must think we're all crazy."
Zen laughed. "You must be forgetting who I am. For the first few months we were dating, Christian was afraid to make me mad...he thought I might cast some sort of witch's spell on him." She grinned. "Little does he know that's how I got him to date me in the first place."
As Lindy smiled, Zenobia said her goodbyes to Anton and Bryn as well. They all watched her head to the car, then pull away from the house.
Turning her attention back to Lindy, Bryn said, "I guess I should say congratulations." Unfortunately, her attempt at sincerity failed.
Lindy gave her an understanding look. "This isn't at all what we had planned." She sighed. "I know we need to talk about it, but I think we need to wait until tomorrow. I just want to grab Liam and get back to Nate." Anton nodded. "Do your parents know yet?" he asked as he handed the child over. Lindy shook her head. "I'd appreciate it if you'd let me tell them." She glanced concerned at Liam, who wasn't settling against her like he normally did. He kept looking at her, tilting his head from side to side and breathing deeply. She didn't know if he was going to start crying or not.
He let out a few whimpers and kept at a slight distance, but he didn't cry. He glanced back at Anton uncertainly, almost as if wishing the older vampire would pluck him back out of Lindy's arms. Lindy had to bite her lip to keep from squeezing him tight against her chest without consent.
Standing up once more, Bryn slid her hand into Anton's. "We should go make sure Petunia isn't getting into anything in the house."
"Okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Holding her stiff son in her arms, Lindy said goodnight and started back to her home.
"Lindy," Anton called after her, waiting to continue until she turned back. "If you need anything, let us know, okay?"
She nodded at him. "Thanks." She hurried on down the path and into the welcoming light of their front door. Closing it behind her, she headed towards their bedroom. "Nate?"
"Still in the bedroom," he said, quietly. He rolled onto his side as she walked in the room. She set Liam down on the bed, then quickly undressed once more. Pulling the baby onto his chest, Nate held him close and kissed him repeatedly. Unlike with Lindy, Liam settled comfortably against his daddy--who was so glad to see him he had tears in his eyes. "I love you so much, you little squirt."
She could feel her own eyes tearing up as well. Sitting down on the bed, she reached out and placed her hand on Liam's back. "Zen's going home for the week. Anton and Bryn also know that I've been Transformed." She took a deep breath. "I guess that just leaves my parents to tell."
Nate pulled the covers back further on her side, and motioned for her to lay down. "Worry about it tomorrow. Right now I just want to hold both of you close. I swear to God, I'm never going to let you go again. Ever."
She laid down beside him, snuggling in and resting her head on his shoulder. "And I'm never going to run away again. Ever." She pressed a kiss to his clavicle. "I love you so much, Nathaniel."
He wrapped his arm tightly around her, squeezing her to his side. "I love you, too, Lind. More than you'll ever know."

Sabryn tugged her pant legs up, dipping her feet in lukewarm water of the pool. She shook her head at Petunia, who was trotting back and forth, barking at her reflection in the water. Instead of following Anton upstairs, when he went to change out of his work clothes, she'd told him she'd be outside, then grabbed some snacks and headed out the door. She was feeling depressed, and when she was depressed she ate. Although the chips didn't taste nearly as good as they normally did. And she had to keep her eye on the bowl so Petunia didn't steal all of her pity food.
After five minutes, Anton came down beside the pool to join her. He had seen her from the bedroom window, a lost and forlorn figure in the pool's floodlights. Sitting down beside her, he rolled up his jeans as well and dipped his feet in too, putting an arm around her. They sat there quietly for several minutes until he asked, "So what do you think, Bryn?"
She shrugged, still staring at the water. "I know I should be happy for her, but I don't feel it. And I know I shouldn't be insanely jealous, because I'm having a baby now and she's not...but I am anyway. And I shouldn't be sad, but I am. It just doesn't seem fair. They do *everything* before us. I feel like when I'm Transformed, everyone's gonna think 'Oh, been there, done that'." She picked up another couple of chips and unceremoniously shoved them in her mouth.
He squeezed her shoulder tightly. "And that sums up how I feel." He sighed, snatching one of the chips from her bowl. "Although I don't think this is going to go over so well with her parents." He turned the chip over in his hand, not really hungry. "I know when you are Transformed, we're going to do it under very different circumstances. And for me, it won't be 'been there, done that,' Bryn."
"I know. It won't be for me, either. I just wish it wasn't so far away. So many things could happen between then and now." She swallowed heavily. "I didn't wake you up, but I had a bad dream last night. That I was abducted again, and they--they took Max away. I know that's not going to happen, but it's only one of many things that could happen. Things that scare me, because we're so sure of what's going to happen in the future...and I think we might be taking it for granted."
"I worry about that all the time, Bryn. About what would have happened if Max hadn't been able to heal you, if somehow Natasha struck back at us again, if there was another accident..." He sighed. "Do you want to try for a second child, Bryn? Or would you rather be Transformed after Max is born?"
She opened her mouth to answer him, then closed it again. She deflated a bit, leaning even more heavily against him. "I don't know. My mind changes almost every day. Sometimes I think I do want to try, and then sometimes I think I couldn't stand to wait a minute longer. I...I would like to give you a little girl. But I don't think I can wait two or three years like we'd discussed."
He rubbed his cheek over the top of her head. "Well, I guess we could try getting you pregnant again sooner than we first discussed. Probably the best thing to do is see how things go on a day to day basis, and make a decision once Max is born." He lifted the chip he was holding to her mouth.
She opened her mouth to take the chip, holding his hand in place with hers. She chewed quickly and swallowed, then licked the remaining salt from his fingers. She could hear Petunia next to her scarfing down the rest of the chips, but she couldn't bring herself to care.
"I love you," she said, softly, holding Anton's gaze.
He softly ran his hand through her growing hair. "I love you too, Bryn." He gently leaned forward, kissing her gently, offering her comfort. "I have to wonder what her reaction will be when she realizes she can't go into sunlight anymore. And it looks like I'll need help at work faster than I thought."
"I imagine it will be something like the situation with Chandra...learning to accept something new. Actually, I was thinking that you should ask Chandra if she'd be interested in Lindy's job." She rubbed her foot against his calf under the water. "She's been looking for work."
He nodded. "I should have thought of that myself." He gave another sigh. "I wish Mack would come to his senses. I don't think I've seen Chandra truly smile the whole time she's been here. It's killing her, and it's probably killing him, although he's too damn proud to admit it." He looped his leg around hers under the water, lifting it slightly."
"Maybe they aren't going to get together again. If he hasn't made a move yet, there's a chance that he won't. I just hope you won't be forced to choose sides if that happens." She placed her hand over his and squeezed. "I'm sorry. Now I'm just depressing you. Maybe we should just go inside and make a big hot fudge sundae to drown our sorrows in."
"That sounds delicious, my dear." He pulled his legs out of the water and grabbed the towels he brought down with him. Waiting for Bryn to stand, he wiped her and his legs down. "Bryn, I just want you to know that whatever you decide about being Transformed, if you want to do it right after Max is born or wait, I'm willing to go along with. I don't want you to feel pressured that it's something we have to do right away."
She gave him a small smile, hugging his waist tightly. "Thank you. But I think it's both our decision, not just mine. If you want another baby, Anton, then just tell me. I'm not going to throw away your chances--which you've waited nearly a millennium for. If you can wait that long, I think I can wait a couple of years."
His arms tightened around her, and he started walking her backwards towards the gate of the pool's enclosure. "I would love to have a daughter, Bryn. But let's wait until our son is born before we make a decision." He bent down and kissed her forehead. "I think I can hear that chocolate sundae calling my name, my dear."
She grinned, allowing Petunia to pass before heading towards the house. Once they were inside, he grabbed a bowl and a carton of ice cream, while she picked out all of the necessary toppings. Fudge, of course, caramel and butterscotch, whipped cream, nuts, sprinkles, and a shiny red cherry for the top. She loved being in the kitchen with him, working side by side. Casually bumping against each other as they moved, laughing and flirting. She once might've thought that Anton would always be serious and careful, but he had a wicked sense of humor that charmed her, and she had so much fun laughing with him that her sides hurt.
Every now and then, she couldn't help stopping what she was doing and just watching him. He filled her with such intense joy she was in awe. And she hoped he realized just how loved and appreciated he was.
He finished scooping out about half the carton of ice cream into two bowls. Deliberately clowning, trying to raise Bryn's spirits, he poured on the fudge and picked up the can of whipped cream. "Remember the last time we had whipped cream with our ice cream my dear?"
She nodded. "I remember you washing it out of my hair, too." She opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out a bit, waiting for him to squirt some of the whipped cream into her mouth.
He gave her a wicked grin. "And I remember you washing it off of other areas of my body." Instead of squirting it into her mouth, he topped her nose with a dollop of it.
She stared cross-eyed at it, before trying to reach it with her tongue. "My tongue's not long enough...you'll have to get it for me."
"Yes, my dear." Taking hold of her shoulders, he reached out and licked the tip of her nose. He pulled her a little closer and then ran his tongue along her lips, smearing the whipped cream across them.
"Mmm." She licked a bit from her upper lip, then reached up to kiss him, sharing the remainder between them. When he was finished sucking the sweetness from her lips, she sucked his tongue as well. She could feel his erection against her stomach and rubbed herself more firmly against him. "I have a feeling this ice cream will be soup before we ever get a chance to eat it."
"Hmmm.... we can't have that, can we?" He grabbed a spoonful of ice cream and slowly fed it to her. Once she had cleaned the spoon, he kissed her, pushing his tongue into her mouth to taste the fudge and vanilla flavors. He ran his tongue all over the inside of her mouth, caressing her teeth, dueling with her tongue, and tickling the roof of her mouth.
She whimpered into his mouth, grabbing his shirt and standing on her tiptoes to give him better access. She was ready to throw him down on the floor already, and they'd barely even started. Taking her own turn, she fed him another spoonful, then shared his as well. By the time she pulled back to meet his gaze, she was breathing heavily, squirming against him, and practically trying to climb his leg.
One arm came around her waist, crushing her tighter against him. Backing up and grabbing one of the bowls, he moved over to the dining room. Kissing her face, he settled down on one of the chairs and almost dropped the bowl on the table. He blindly fumbled for the spoon, and pulled her back only long enough to feed her another mouthful.
She jerked against him as he cupped her head in his hand and thrust his tongue in her mouth. Shifting back and forth over his crotch, she kissed him back voraciously. All the while tugging his T-shirt from his waistband. Once his stomach was bare, she slid her hands under his shirt and lightly flicked his nipples back and forth beneath her thumbs.
Groaning and ice cream forgotten, his hand went to her breast as she continued to kiss him. He ran his fingers over her nipples, feeling them tighten through her sweater. He grinned when she arched forward into his touch, and her hands on his chest twitched. Still kissing her, he started unbuttoning the sweater.
She couldn't have held still if she wanted to. She moaned against his mouth, before pulling away slightly to press kisses all over his face.
"Anton," she said, softly, almost a plea. "I love you so much." She continued to rock her hips against him, her fingers still tweaking his nipples. "I hope..." More kisses. "I hope you know...how much...I love you." Still more kisses, on his face, his lips, his neck, his ears. "I think about you." Tangling her tongue with his, then sucking his lower lip. "I think about you all night long." Flicking her fingers, rocking her hips faster. "Can't wait for you to come home...to me...Oh, God, yes! Feels so good, sugar."
"Cant... wait to be.... home... with you," he whispered between the kisses. Sometimes he worried about Bryn's dependence on him. It was just as strong as his dependence on her. Sweater undone and loosely hanging on her shoulders, he grabbed her hips, holding them still. "Easy, my dear. I want this to last a while."
She let out a shaky breath, leaning forward to rest her stomach against his, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She hugged him tightly, just listening to his breathing, trying to calm down. It wasn't an easy task, but she managed to get to point where she wasn't quite as frantic. She wondered if she'd come on too strong, too fast, if she was starting to smother him. Backing up a bit, she sat up straight and silently waited for him to make the next move.
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" He blinked at her before kissing behind her ear. "Sorry for what, my dear?"
She sucked on the corner of her bottom lip, unable to meet his gaze. "For being needy and clingy...for smothering you. I didn't mean to--" She shrugged. "I didn't mean to get so carried away."
"Bryn, where is this coming from?" he said, gently stroking her hair. "I didn't say anything about being clingy. I was just worried about cumming in my pants."
"It was...nothing. It was a feeling I had." She dropped her hands back to her thighs. Her voice was uncertain when she said, "Do you...ever think that?"
"Yes, but not the way you think." He tilted her chin back up so he could see her. "I do worry about being clingy, being smothering. But me doing the clinging, the smothering, not you."
"You?" She looked at him like he'd just lost his mind. "Why? I've never thought that about you. I even sometimes wish...that you needed me more." She closed her eyes for a moment. "I worry that there's something wrong with me, for wanting you so much. For constantly thinking about you, and wanting to hear your voice. I wonder if maybe I'm sick or something, because you seem so much...more in control than I am."
"Ah, Bryn, that is merely an illusion of control." He gently kissed her forehead. "I've been around a lot longer, so I can hide my feelings better. Do you know I wake up in the middle of the day just so I can watch you sleep? If I could figure out a way to be with you without having to go into work, I would."
"You own the company, Anton. You can do whatever you want." She shrugged her sweater off of her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Then, just as casually, she reached for the hem of his shirt and tugged it upwards, waiting patiently for him to lift his arms so she could pull it the rest of the way off. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to his Adam's apple. "But I guess I get to see you every day. I probably shouldn't be so stingy to keep you locked up in the house all week. You probably need some time to yourself."
"And you do too, my dear." He nuzzled her neck, hand sliding up her stomach to cup her breast. "But right now I don't really want to be alone." His thumb brushed over her nipple, just barely touching it.
She pressed herself against him once more, but didn't do much more than that. "I'm...afraid to move. I still feel--" She took a deep, albeit shaky breath. "Tell me what to do, Anton. Please?"
He leaned forward and kissed her mouth. His hands slid down her rounded stomach to unbutton her slacks and started working them down her thighs. "I want you to climb on me and ride me until we both cum."
She shivered against him, then kissed his lips. She moved delicately at first, barely grazing his lips, then became a bit bolder, pushing her tongue into his mouth, sucking his lips, finally sucking wantonly on his tongue, her hips shifting in slow wide circles on his lap. When she couldn't stand any more, she slid off his lap and quickly shoved her pants and panties down, stepping out of her shoes. She faced him wearing nothing but her socks, breathing heavily, waiting for his next move.
His eyes traveled up and down her body, his breath coming faster and harsher. Stiffly he stood up, and stepped out of his shoes while undoing his belt. He slid his jeans off and his boxers as well. Slowly he sat back in the chair. His dilated eyes staring into hers he gestured her forward.
She licked her lips, stepping closer. With one hand on his shoulder, she swung her leg over and mounted him much like she would a horse...seating herself firmly on the saddle. She was wet enough that he slid inside her easily, and they both moaned as she settled down the length of him. She whimpered, shifting to make herself comfortable, pushing down until she could feel his balls snug against her ass. His hands grasped her hips, merely holding her, and she placed her other hand on his shoulder, slowly starting to rock against him.
He moaned, his hands tightening on her hips. He pushed up into her, meeting her thrusts with his. Moving slightly from side to side, he pulled her tighter against him, then freed one hand to rub against her breast, lifting and cupping it. Squeezing his hand between their bodies, he leaned forward and slipped his tongue into her mouth, his other hand slipping around to cup her ass.
She wrapped her arms tighter around his shoulders, threading her fingers into his hair. His mouth tasted so delicious, still lingering with fudge flavor, and she kissed him deeply. In the back of her mind, she knew that the dining room shutters were open, that anyone walking past could see them clearly, but she didn't really care. All she wanted was to please him, while reaching a very satisfying peak of her own.
He rubbed his hand against her breast harder, nipping on her lips. The hand on her ass tightened as well. He rocked forward, trying to get deeper into her, trying to rub against her clit. "Scream for me, Bryn. I want to hear your pleasure."
She sped up her movements, no longer stifling the volume of her moans. The sounds echoed in the high-ceiling room. She slid her hand down her side and under her stomach, pressing her hand between them and rhythmically circling her clit. She tightened her muscles around him, slamming herself hard onto his cock.
He grunted, feeling her tighten around him. Straining upwards, he pushed greedily into her. His cries grew louder as he felt her spasms begin. Roaring, he let everything go, flooding her as he held her tight against his groin.
She let out a shrill squeal, jerking her hips as she came, shuddering, then went limp against his chest. Breathing heavily, she cupped his shoulders in her hands from behind, and closed her eyes, pressing her forehead against his neck. She felt incredibly wet and sweaty, but she didn't want to move.
In a soft voice, she said, "You'd tell me if I was smothering you, wouldn't you?"
"Yes, I would, Bryn. In fact, you are at the moment. Scoot back a bit." He took a deep breath after she resettled on his lap. "I promise you, Bryn, that if you get too clingy, or too smothering, I will tell you. And I want you to do the same for me."
She nodded. Climbing off of his lap, she started picking up her clothes off the floor, then bundled them up in her arms. "I'm sorry."
Turning, she headed towards the doorway.
"Bryn," he called, standing up and following her. He caught hold of her hand just before she reached the stairwell. "Bryn, what's wrong?"
She glanced back at him with wet eyes and pulled her hand out of his grip. "I'm leaving you alone. What does it look like?" She took a shuddering breath, then hurried up the steps. "I won't smother you again. I promise."
"Don't you dare." He caught her again, pulling her close to him. Anton stroked her back, trying to soothe her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You aren't smothering me. It was a joke, Bryn, and a very poor one."
She stood woodenly for several seconds before pushing away from him with all of her strength. "It wasn't funny at all." She could only stare at him, her eyes red, before turning away and heading upstairs again. "God, I feel like such a fucking idiot."
He followed her on up into their bedroom. "Bryn, all I was trying to do was make a joke that it was a little difficult for me to breathe with your stomach pressed against my chest. I didn't mean anything about you being too clingy, or emotionally smothering me. I'm sorry."
She knelt on the bed and glanced at him, taking a deep breath. She looked down and closed her eyes. "Now I feel even more stupid. I'm sorry. I didn't understand. And what I thought...it hurt my feelings very much."
He sat down on the bed beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry, Bryn. I never want to hurt you, even unintentionally." He pressed a soft kiss to her hairline above her ear. "What did I do to make you think that, and how can I keep from making you think it again?"
She bit back a sob. "We'd been talking about smothering before, and you said I wasn't, and I thought--I thought everything was ok. And we...then we had sex, and right afterwards you said I was smothering you...it felt like you'd just said what I wanted to hear the first time, so I'd shut up and fuck you. It felt like you lied to me."
"Lied, to you..." he repeated. "No, Bryn, that's not what I meant at all." He was sickened by the thought that she would believe he was capable of using her that way. He pulled her closer. "Not what I meant at all," he whispered again, leaning his cheek against the top of her head.
She shuddered, tears still falling, and leaned against him a bit...but that was all. She still didn't feel confident enough to wrap her arms around him. "Will you tell me you love me, please?"
"Yes, of course, Bryn. I love you so much." He twisted around, turning her head with a gentle pressure so they were both looking at each other. "I love you too much to use you in that way," he whispered, trying to reassure her. "Tell you what you want to hear so I can get what I want? I'd never do that to you, Bryn. I'm sorry I let you believe that."
She closed her eyes for a moment before wrapping her arms around his waist and lying her head on his shoulder. She let out a long breath as his arms surrounded her as well, holding her tight. She still wouldn't press her stomach against him, afraid that there might be a little bit of truth to the smothering joke after all.
"I never should've thought that about you, anyway, Anton. I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've just...been feeling insecure ever since we found out Lindy was transformed, and I don't know why." She choked on her next breath, trying not to sob. "And I know it's stupid, but I feel afraid...of losing you. Of p-pushing you away, or that you won't want me anymore. Or maybe that...I'm too fat now."
He pulled her close, settling her on his lap. "Bryn, I will always want you. Always need you." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, hand resting on her stomach. "And this is an expression of our love. But even if it wasn't, I'd still want you. It's your soul that keeps finding me, Bryn, lifetime after lifetime. Not your body."
She leaned against him, quietly catching her breath. She felt like one of those embarrassing hysterical wives that made scenes in public places. Her only consolation was they were at home. Now that Lindy was Transformed, she was the odd one out. Before when they were together, they were both wives of vampires and she'd been comfortable with that. Now that Lindy was a vampire herself, the three of them formed a trio. Like their own little clique. And Bryn was just the straggler. Maybe she should've felt privileged to be the only human one in the bunch, but she didn't. She felt like the unwanted one.
"I think I'm going to go to bed now. I'm tired, and you have to go to work tomorrow...and I think I've made a big enough fool of myself tonight. I should probably quit while I'm ahead." She pushed herself out of his lap and crawled over to pull back the covers on the bed. "You can stay up and watch TV if you're not tired yet."
Pulling the covers over herself, she curled up on her side and closed her eyes.
Anton looked at her back for a minute. She was right, he'd have to go into work tomorrow, even if it would be a shortened day to help Nathaniel deal with Lindy once she realized she was now a vampire. But recognizing Bryn's pattern of pushing him away when she wanted him there the most, he pulled back his own covers and snuggled in beside her. But also realizing that she wouldn't tell him what was wrong until she was ready to, he held his tongue. Gently he bent forward and kissed the back of her head. "Goodnight, Bryn," he whispered softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
She didn't pull away, yet when she normally would've nestled back into his embrace she didn't. No good night kiss, no hands holding on to his. After several long seconds, she finally murmured, "Good night."
End Chapter Fifty-one

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