Chapter Seventy-two

She was watching events unfold before her like a movie. And like a movie, she had no control over the direction the story took. Some of the images and sensations were too rapid fire for her to fully absorb. A dark haired vampire woman, a sharp pain in her throat, the salt rich taste of blood, too many mortal faces in different older modes of dress she couldn't even begin to identify. And Anton's face, although somehow she knew he was much younger than he was now.

She looked down at herself, and yet it wasn't her body. Man's hands, coming up to cover her (his?) face, a deep bone-rattling sigh leaving the mouth. The sigh of someone very tired, very world-weary. And then the heart begins to pound, her eyes move to the young girl in the center of the room. Her skin so pale, hair almost crimson. She is frightened but the man's hands soothe her. And then such love, heart-pounding, aching love for her. Her smile, laugh, fills the vision completely. So innocent and pure, and yet so raunchy and bold beneath his hands. His. So very much his.

Time held no meaning. One minute took a year to pass, one year passed by in an eye blink. Six months of pure bliss. Six months of physical and spiritual pleasure. Six months of married happiness, and then it all evaporated in one night of bloody violence.

She stares through his eyes, lying on the floor in the sweet-copper stink of his own blood. The life is draining from him, bleeding out before his eyes, and he is screaming, chest feeling as if it is collapsing on every harsh breath. Screaming for her, his crimson beauty, who is trying--he knows--to get to him and failing.

His vision was dimming out when he saw Anton bending over him. He tries to tell his friend to take care of his love, but he can't get any breath around the massive stake protruding from his chest. But before he could tell if Anton understood, his sight went black, and his breathing stopped.

She sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for the air that had been denied her in her dream. She wiped a hand over her sweat drenched forehead. "Jess?" She turned to look at Walter, who was staring at her, concern clear in his deep brown eyes. "Nightmare?"

She lay back down on her side, pressing her stomach to Alex's back, and sighing as Walter snuggled against her back. "I'm not sure, Walter," Jess said in a troubled tone.

She woke up in pain. That wasn't that unusual, really. Over the past few weeks--lovely December, she thought bitterly--she'd experienced everything from back pains, kidney pains, bladder pains, Braxton-Hicks contractions that became more like real contractions with every day, and breathing pains. The last of which had become easier since the baby dropped in her pelvis just a week ago. Completely panicked, she'd been somewhat reassured when Dr. Anne told her it was completely normal and happened a few weeks before delivery. The reminder that it was only a few weeks away she could've done without.

She lost her mucus plug yesterday.

It had to be the most disgusting thing she'd ever encountered. Deciding to spare Anton the details, she continued the day--or night, as it was--as normal.

Carefully dragging herself to the side of the bed and sitting up, she took a moment to brace herself before pushing her way to her feet. She had to pee like crazy, and it wasn't even time to get up yet.

[Hello toilet...looks like we've got a long day ahead of us.]

Anton felt her stirring and rolled over to look at her. He was aware that her discomfort had been increasing for the last few weeks. And he tried to be there as much as he could. From the way Bryn was moving, she was in more pain than usual. "Bryn, are you okay? Need any help?"

"No, I'm okay. Thank you, sugar." Finally on her feet, she hurried towards the bathroom, talking to him along the way. "I just have to pee. I should be done in here before you have to take your shower--"

Her words cut off abruptly, followed by a loud gasp that made Anton sit up in bed. "Bryn?" When he didn't hear her reply, he quickly got out of bed and followed her path.

Standing in the middle of the bathroom, hunched over and clutching her stomach, Bryn wasn't even breathing. Eyes squeezed shut, knuckles white, and mouth hanging open, she looked like she was about to fall over where she stood.

"Bryn?" Anton put his hands on her shoulders, trying to hold and support her. "Bryn are you okay? Are you having a contraction?" When she nodded, he bit his lip. [She's not supposed to be due for another three weeks,] he thought. [Maybe this is another Braxton-Hicks contraction.] But from the look on her face, he didn't think so. "Do you want me to page Dr. Anne?"

She nodded somewhat frantically, leaning heavily on him. Finally letting out a long groan, she sucked in another gulp of air and gripped his arm tightly. After about thirty seconds more, she started panting, caught hold of her own balance, and stood upright. Swallowing heavily, she met his gaze. "I don't want to be pregnant anymore."

He rubbed his hand up and down her spine, noting how tight the muscles in her lower back were. "Do you need help getting to the toilet?" When Bryn nodded, he guided her over to the toilet, letting her lean as heavily on her as she wanted. After helping her sit down, he left to give her some privacy, and went to page the doctor.

Anne answered the page within two minutes. "Hello, Anton. What's going on?"

"Hello Dr. Leahs. It's Bryn. She's had another contraction, but this one seemed different from the others. More painful."

"Could you put her on the phone?"

"Sure. One moment." He walked to the bathroom. "Bryn? Dr. Anne's on the phone. She wants to talk to you."

Bryn gave him a dry look, gesturing for him to put her on hold until she was done peeing. Then she reached for the phone, still sitting on the toilet, not all that confident in getting up. She was shaking like a leaf, all over her body. "Hello?"

"Bryn? This is Anne." The doctor's voice sounded calm. "You had a painful contraction? Was there anything different about this one?"

She closed her eyes, stifling the urge to yell. Of course it was different! "Yeah, it hurt. A lot. Like the worst cramp I've ever had. I couldn't even breathe." She glanced at Anton before adding, "I lost my mucus plug yesterday. I probably should've called, but I was really grossed out."

"You lost your mucus plug?" Anne sounded a bit concerned. "Has your water broken yet?"

"No..."

"In that case, I want you to watch yourself carefully. If your water breaks, I want you to go to the hospital, and then page me. That order, Bryn. I think you're getting close, but it could be a few days yet."

Defeated, Bryn said, "Okay. I will. Thanks, Anne."

"Sure. Now, take it easy today. Get some rest. I'll call later to check in on you."

"Okay. Bye." Sighing, she hung up the phone after Anne said her good-bye. Looking at Anton, she shook her head. "She said it could be a few days still. God. I thought this was it." Handing the phone back to him, she accepted his help standing up and then turned to flush the toilet. She managed to waddle over to the sink to wash her hands by herself. "I guess that means you can still go to work."

"I can stay here and watch over you." He helped her back to the bed. Helping her settle in it, he pulled the sheets back up over her body. "I can have the office fax over any paperwork, and do everything else by email. Lindy can handle the rest of it for me."

She tugged him into bed with her, hugging him the moment he laid down. "Thank you, sugar. I would feel much better with you here." Resting her head on his shoulder, she looked up at him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about losing my mucus plug," she said, her nose scrunched up as she said the words. "It was just really gross...like my uterus hocked up a really nasty loogie. I didn't think you'd really want to hear about that."

Pressing her forehead against his shoulder cap, she sucked in a harsh breath. "I can feel another one coming."

Anton put an arm around her, and placed his hand in one of hers. "Squeeze my hand, Bryn. Just squeeze it through the pain. It will be over soon." He winced as she took his hand in a death grip, not certain that she wasn't breaking the smaller bones in it.

She wasn't aware of the constant humming noise she was making. Teeth clenched and body defensively curled, she continued to hang on for twenty or so more seconds. Finally letting out a whoosh of air, she relaxed her grip on Anton's hand...wincing when she saw the white marks where her hand had been.

"Sorry, sugar."

"It's okay, my dear." He gently stroked her hair. He watched her muscles slowly unclench and relax. These weren't like the contractions she had been having earlier. "I take it that was more painful than usual?"

She nodded, taking a deep breath. "I would say that they're a bit easier than I thought they would be, but I have a feeling they're going to get a lot worse." Sighing, she settled against him in a more relaxed posture. "You can turn on the TV if you want. It might be nice to have a little distraction."

"Actually, let me call the warehouse and let them know I'll be working from home tonight." He picked up the phone and dialed his secretary. Leaving instructions with Michelle, and not answering her questions about if Bryn was in labor, he settled on the bed next to Bryn. No sooner than he hung up than the phone rang again. "Hello?"

"Hey, Anton," came Jess's voice. "Would it be okay if I headed over and hung out at your place for a while?"

"Sure," Anton said, a bit surprised. Other than the first contraction that surprised them both, the werewolf hadn't been over since. The fact that she wanted to be near Bryn right now set off a warning bell in his head. "Come on over. The tunnel door's unlocked."

"Who's coming over?" Bryn asked as he hung up the phone.

"Jess is."

Bryn rolled onto her back, her head on the pillow. "I guess we should probably get dressed, then. Would you mind getting me a loose-fitting nightgown?"

"No." He kissed her forehead before climbing out of bed. After pulling up some sweat pants himself, he grabbed a T-shirt and Bryn's gown. As he headed back towards the bed, she noticed how calm he looked. That wasn't at all what she had been expecting. She accepted the nightgown and quickly started tugging it over her head. "How are you doing, Anton?"

"I'm not sure, Bryn." He sat down on the bed beside her, taking one of her hands. "I can't believe that this is really happening. It's close to when you're due, but it seems unreal to me." He ran his thumb over the back of her hand, giving her a small grin. "But ask me again when your water breaks."

She gave him a small smile of her own. "I feel like maybe we should elevate this end of the bed. Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll just slide right out."

Anton shook with an inaudible laugh, and Jess's voice sounded from the stairway. "If that happened, Bryn, women all over the world would be marrying vampires and trying to have their children."

Bryn wrinkled her nose. "They wish." She smoothed down her nightgown under the covers. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you, Jess. I hope you didn't have a romantic evening planned."

Jess shook her head as she stepped into the bed room. "No. We were just going to watch a comedy. We'd barely started watching 'An American Werewolf in Paris.'"

Anton raised an eyebrow at her. "That's a comedy?"

Jess shrugged. "We always seem to end up on the floor laughing when we watch it." She sat down in a chair that was beside the bed. "How you doing, Bryn?"

"I don't know yet. I'm okay one minute, and then the next I'm turning inside out. But my water hasn't broken yet, and Anne told me to stay home...that it could be days before he's actually born." She rolled her eyes, her face scrunched up as if she had indigestion. "What...um, what brought you over? Max isn't in pain, is he?"

Jess shook her head. "He's restless. And I guess it's spilling over to me." She didn't mention the strange dream she had the night before. "I just had to get out of the house for a while." And she had hoped to talk to Anton alone, but it didn't seem she could. And she didn't want to upset either of them. Not so close to Max being born.

Bryn nodded, then pulled back the covers. "I think I'm going to get up and walk for a while...supposed to speed things up a bit." She got up, with Jess's help, and grabbed her robe from behind the bathroom door. "You two can get something to eat or whatever...no need to follow me around. I think I'll just bore you to death."

"In that case," Anton said, standing, "I'm going to grab something to eat. Do you want anything, Jess?"

"No thanks, Anton." She watched the vampire head downstairs after kissing Bryn lightly on the cheek. She looked at Bryn as he went out of earshot. "He's a lot calmer than I expected."

"Yeah. It makes me a little nervous...and suspicious." She shrugged. "If he's well enough to eat, I guess that's all that matters." Bracing her hand against her back, she continued pacing. She'd only made one more loop before groaning and bending over slightly. She started that humming/moaning noise again, well-aware of it this time and yet unable to help herself. She felt Jess's hands take her shoulders, and she tried to say thank you...it came out something like 'thck ye.'

"No problem," Jess said, gritting her teeth as well. She guided Bryn back to the bed, feeling slightly uncomfortable. Or more accurately, she was sensing Max's discomfort. She gently squeezed Bryn's shoulders, wishing Anton would come back.

A few moments later, Anton reappeared, carrying a plate with a sandwich on it. He immediately put it down and hurried to Bryn's side, displacing Jess. "Another contraction?"

Bryn let out a small whimper, resting her forehead on Anton's shoulder. She wrapped her arms loosely around his back, breathing in heavy pants through her nose. She'd never felt anything like this before. It felt a little like stomach cramps, menstrual cramps, diarrhea, constipation, ovulation, and bloating all at once. As if her uterus was literally trying to break free and make a run for it. It lasted for what seemed to be forever, but was really less than a minute, then she could breathe again without getting tears in her eyes. Lightly scratching her nails across his back, she sat up a bit more to let him know it was over.

Wiping the small misting of sweat from her forehead, she looked sympathetically at Jess. "This must be hell for you. Do you want any Tylenol or something? Maybe just some coffee or tea?"

Jess shook her head. "Maybe later."

Anton looked at the pale werewolf. Jess shook her head slightly and looked at Bryn. Anton looked down at his wife. Bryn looked even paler than Jess did. He had a feeling they were in for a long night.

Her water broke around midnight, four hours after her labor had started, on her way to the bathroom--for what had to be the tenth time that night. She would've been dismayed by the mess she made on the floor, if it wasn't for the powerful contraction she'd had less than a minute later. Crying out in agony, she held tightly onto Anton's shoulders as Jess called Anne. Afterwards, feeling weak and breathless, she let Anton help her back to the bedroom to change her gown. But only after she used the bathroom like originally intended.

Now, lying in a partially reclined bed, hospital gown covering the front half of her body and most of the back, she curled onto her side and moaned. She remembered a time when she used to watch birthing shows and shake her head when the pregnant women would make sounds equivalent to cow sounds. Now she was the one letting out the heifer moos.

Anton rubbed her spine in what he hoped was a comforting motion. He hated seeing her in such pain. The nurse who had been in said they would perform an epidural on her shortly, but it seemed to be hours ago. He felt helpless, unable to take away her pain. At a loss, he continued to rub her back.

Grateful for his presence, she hugged his shoulders tightly, clutching his shirt, and hoping she didn't throw his back out of alignment.

As her contraction started to subside, she grabbed her cup off the tray and sucked down a few more ice chips. Catching her breath, she looked at Anton with bleary eyes. "My sister-in-law was in labor for thirty-two hours with Chris. If Max takes that long, will you tell them to just knock me out for a while?"

"If Max takes that long, I'll have them knock you *and* Jess out." He continued to massage her back. The sun would be rising soon, and he hoped Nathaniel and Lindy made it here for moral support for both of them. He was trying to project an unflappable image to reassure Bryn, but inside he was frightened. What if something happened to Max? What if Bryn's labor had complications? He didn't know that he could handle it.

She watched him carefully. There wasn't much else to do between contractions anyway. His apparent calm was unnerving her more and more by the minute. It might've been okay if she thought he actually *was* calm, but there was that little look on his face...the slightly uncomfortable stare--not completely meeting her gaze, more like looking at her eyebrows--he got whenever he was lying. She didn't think he was deliberately lying...maybe he thought he *was* okay. Either way, it bothered her.

"Sugar, you told me to ask you again after my water broke--are you okay?"

"My dear, I am absolutely terrified." A slight exaggeration, but close enough to the truth. "I'm afraid that something might happen to you, that something might happen to Max. I'm worried about what kind of father I'll be. Your pregnancy seemed like a dream come true, but it's become very, very real in the last hour."

She made a sympathetic noise. "I wish you'd told me that earlier. There's not a lot I could do about it, but I could try." She brushed his hair away from his forehead with her fingers. "It might help if you weren't the only one watching over me--if you had some support. Why don't you call again and see if Lindy and Nate are on their way? Or...maybe even call Mack?"

"Hopefully, Mack will take my call," he mumbled. He pulled out his cell phone and made a face. "Battery's low," he said as he dialed and put the phone to his ear. "Hey Mack, it's Anton. I don't know if you want to hear from me or not, but I wanted to let you know that Bryn's in labor. The baby still hasn't been born yet, but BrynÕs doing fine and I thought you might want to know." There was a loud double beep and Anton looked at the phone. "Looks like I need to find a charger."

She scooted over a bit on the bed, patting the spot next to her. "Lay here with me?"

"I don't think there's enough room, my dear."

"We'll make room." As he started to get up, she reached for him immediately, pulling him close, feeling another contraction start. She let out a groan, bending slightly to lay her head on his stomach. Keeping her arms wrapped around his waist, she curled into a fetal position, not unlike Max she imagined, whimpering as the knot in her lower belly tightened. "I waaant my epiduuural!"

Anton gently stroked her hair, trying to soothe her. "It'll be okay, Bryn." He grabbed one of her hands, letting her squeeze as hard as she needed. "Just hang on to me. It will be over soon."

As she was still hunched over, Dr. Leahs came back into the room, carrying a hypodermic and a small bottle of medication. "How you doing, Bryn?"

A weak moan was all she got as a response. Frowning, Anne watched the monitors carefully. "I'm going to have to check you after this contraction ends. I thought maybe we could get away with a lighter pain killer, but if you're dilated enough we'll just go with the epidural."

As Bryn's breathing slowly returned to normal, she carefully rolled onto her back. Throwing one leg over Anton's, and pulling the other back, she let the doctor check her cervix. She had to admit she was glad the curtain was pulled closed, otherwise she'd be flashing everyone.

"Four centimeters, minus one station." Anne nodded. "I'll call the anesthesiologist. Get you nice and numbed up."

Bryn sighed, relaxing her grip on Anton's hand. "Thank God."

Anton also looked a bit relieved. "Do you have any idea how much longer this will be?"

Anne shrugged. "Could be a few hours, could be a day. First children tend to have a longer childbirth, but then some literally run when they see daylight. It all depends on how quickly Bryn dilates." She smiled sympathetically. "I'll be back in a moment."

As the doctor left the room, Anton rubbed Bryn's shoulders. "I wish I could do something about your pain, my dear."

"Me too," she mumbled, leaning into him. Even between contractions she felt like crap. A dull ache had invaded her entire body. It only seemed to keep getting worse...soon there would be pushing, and ripping, most likely a episiotomy. God forbid a Caesarian section. She let out another soft moan, burrowing deeper against his chest, hoping his scent, his touch, his warmth, voice, and very presence, could soothe her.

He continued to rub her shoulders, her side, her back. He hated this waiting. Yes, vampires could be inordinately patient, but this was his wife and his child. He could handle this better if something were happening, if she were in active labor, if there were some way he could make her feel better. But all he could do was hold her and stroke her and murmur comfortingly.

It was only a few minutes before Anne returned with a middle aged male doctor. "Anton, Bryn, this is Dr. Parker. He'll be performing the epidural."

Bryn let out a sigh of relief, and a slightly giddy "Hi!" to Dr. Parker.

The man grinned, carrying his tray of equipment over to the bed. "I'll need you to sit up and face away from me. Sir, if you could stand on that side of the bed and let her lean on you, it would be very helpful."

Anton got up as Anne placed a pulse meter on Bryn's finger. They both helped Bryn to lay down on her side, curling into a C with her back to the anesthesiologist. As Dr. Parker began injecting the local anesthetic, Anton gently stroked Bryn's hair. Anton looked away, suddenly feeling somewhat queasy.

Anne, monitoring Bryn's blood pressure looked up at him. "Are you okay, Anton?"

"I think so," he answered a little shakily. Instead of looking at the larger needle Dr. Parker was holding to thread the catheter into Bryn's back, he looked down at his wife. "He's almost done, my dear."

She whimpered, hands clenching both of his, tears coming to her eyes. It felt like the doctor was shoving a drinking straw into her back. And it didn't feel as if he was anywhere close to being done, either.

Her voice somewhat stunted, she said to Anton, "Will you...call my parents? Number...should be in...my purse."

"Okay, my dear." Turning away from her and grabbing her purse, he looked through it until he pulled out a small address book. He thumbed through it and then reached for the phone next to the bed. Dialing, he glanced over at the doctor, who was now injecting medication into the catheter. Hoping that Bryn would start getting some relief soon, he almost missed Bryn's mother answering the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello Bernadette. This is Anton. I'm calling to let you know that Bryn's gone into labor."

"What? Already?" He could hear her muffle the receiver and say something in the background, then another phone picked up. "What's going on, Anton? She's not in pain is she?"

"Actually, yes she is...but she's getting her epidural as we speak. The doctor said it should take five to ten minutes for it to take effect."

Bernadette made a tsking sound. "Poor baby."

"We'll be out there as soon as we can," Steven cut in. "Is there anything we can bring?"

"Just yourselves. If you let us know when you're coming in, I'll ask Lindy's parents to pick you up. And I'll call John to let him know as well." He looked at Bryn, who was making a face. Obviously the medication still hadn't taken effect yet. "Bryn, do you want to talk to your parents?" he asked, hoping to help take her mind off her pain.

She nodded, reaching for the phone and immediately wincing as she moved her back. Tucking the phone under her ear, she said, "Hi."

"Hey, kiddo," her dad said, sounding entirely too cheerful. He was no doubt trying to make her feel better. "It's the big day, huh?"

"Maybe. My doctor said it could be tomorrow."

"Well, let's hope not. Your Mom and I are going to be on our way soon. I should actually be on the phone with the airline now, so I'll let you talk to your Mother."

"Okay."

"Hello Sabryn," her mother said, for once saying her name without tripping over it. "How are your contractions doing?"

"They hurt. A lot. But I'm dilated to four, and hopefully I'll be numb soon."

"Well, hang in there. We'll be out soon. I'm going to go start packing soon, so I'll let you go. Take care, dear."

"Thanks. Bye Mom."

Bryn handed the phone back to Anton. "They're coming out here. At this rate they'll arrive before Lindy and Nate."

"They might at this rate." He gently stroked her hair back from her forehead. He looked at Dr. Parker. "How much longer?"

The anesthesiologist pulled the needle out of the catheter. "I've finished the injection. I'm leaving it in so we can adjust your medication if you need more." He looked at Anne. "How's her vitals."

She checked the fetal monitor. "Both hers and the baby's are stable," Anne said. "We'll insert the urinary catheter now, Bryn. And then we'll be done until the next stage of labor starts."

Bryn's expression soured when she mention the other catheter. She carefully rolled onto her back, listening as Anton called John. She could tell by his silence that they weren't home, and he'd need to leave a message. Keeping her eyes closed, she silently urged the medication to start taking effect, all the while trying to ignore the pinching sensation in her crotch. No sooner had the doctor finished the insertion, than she could hear Liam babbling nonstop in the hallway.

Anne finished inserting the catheter as Anton left a message on John's answering machine. "There, done." Anne said, backing away from Bryn. "Can you feel anything?"

"I still hurt," she whimpered.

"It should take affect in a moment. Do you want to see Nate and Lindy?"

Bryn nodded. Dr. Parker said he'd be back to check in, and Left the room. Anne opened the door and gestured to the people waiting outside.

Lindy, holding Liam, was the first in the room, and winced in sympathy when she saw Bryn. "How are you doing?"

"Shitty," she said, but smiled to see her friend. "But I'm glad you're here. And Nate, too." She nodded towards Anton, who was still speaking into the phone. "I think someone could use a distraction, before he starts ripping all of that beautiful hair out."

Lindy nodded. "Who's he called?"

"My parents, my brother, and Mack."

"Mack?" Lindy's eyebrows rose. "They're speaking again?"

Bryn shook her head. "Not really. I asked him to call Mack so he'd have a distraction. He's been worrying about me ever since we woke up. Maybe...maybe you guys should ask him to go with you to get something to eat? I'll be fine here by myself...my epidural should be kicking in soon."

"I'll see what I can do." Lindy knew that Anton could be single minded when he was being protective, but she thought she might be able to draw him away if she could convince him that Bryn needed a break as well. She waited until Anton hung up the phone. "Hey there."

"Hello, Lindy." Anton looked at her and then at Bryn. "How are you doing, my dear?"

She shrugged. "Okay. I'll be okay if you want to go with Lindy and Nate to get something to eat. I don't want you to wear yourself out, Anton. I'm really going to need you later." She clasped his hand between hers. "I'm not trying to get rid of you. I just think you need a break."

He was about to protest that he wasn't hungry when his stomach rumbled. "You're sure, Bryn?" he said a bit uncertainly. He didn't want to miss anything, or leave her side in case she needed him.

"Anton," Lindy said. "I'll stay here and call you if anything happens."

He gently kissed Bryn's forehead and squeezed her hand. "I'll be back shortly, my dear."

"I know," she said, puckering up for a kiss before he left. She watched him fondly as he walked out of the room. When she was sure he was out of earshot, she mumbled, "There goes my sex-life. I had a surprising moment of clarity around the time my water broke. We can't have sex again for six weeks...and even after that, the chance to do so without constant interruptions is very slim." She sighed heavily, looking Lindy in the eye. "You probably know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. All too well." Lindy sat down in the chair Anton had been in earlier. "Every so often, we sneak this little guy," she bounced Liam in her lap, "over to Mom and Alex and Walter so Nate and I can have some time alone." She rested her cheek against Liam, who babbled up at her. "But that's right. We wouldn't trade him for anything. And that's how you're going to feel about your baby, Bryn."

Bryn closed her eyes, her lower lip quivering. "I'm so scared. I can't believe this is happening. It's not so much the pain, but...in a little while I'm going to have someone come out of me! Someone who depends on me completely, who needs me to be so strong, and half the time I don't even think I'm taking care of myself! God, what if I drop him on his head, or accidentally lock him in the car with my keys, or what if I can't relate to him, or get so frustrated I hit him, or...there's a billion things I could do wrong, and I'm afraid of all of them!" She opened her eyes, tears slipping down her cheeks. "What if I'm just this horrible mother, and Anton has to take the baby away from me so I don't hurt him?"

"Bryn, you are going to make a wonderful mother." Lindy leaned forward and took hold of one of her hands. "I've seen you with Liam. Do you think I would leave him with you if I didn't trust you completely? And if you're that good with him, why wouldn't you be that good with Max?" She looked down a little. "And everyone has those fears, Bryn. Or at least I know I do. I wonder if we're doing the right thing, how to explain when Liam gets old enough that Mommy used to be like him, but now is different. Or when he starts asking about his real mother and father."

Sniffling, Bryn made an effort to sit up a little straighter and hastily wiped the tears from her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drop all of that on you at once." She took a deep breath. "I don't think you have anything to worry about with Liam. He's very much loved. I just hope I can be as good a mother as you are to him."

Lindy smiled at her. "I'm sure you will be, Bryn. Besides, in two of your past lives, you already were a mother. So I'm sure it'll just be like old times for you. Plus you've got me and Mom, as well as Caroline and your mom to call for help."

She gave Lindy a small smile, squeezing her hand. "Thank you." She lowered her voice a bit, confiding, "I'm kind of glad Anton wasn't here when I said that. He's already so worried...I didn't want him to have to deal with how worried I am, too. I just hope he's okay. I know he's probably worrying about what kind of father he's going to be, too. He didn't exactly have the best role model either, given the way Ivan treated Nate."

Lindy nodded. "I think it's something that all parents go through. Or at least according to my mother. And hopefully we'll be able to learn from our parents' mistakes." Lindy shook her head. "I'm a bit puzzled about Ivan. How he could have been so shitty to Nate, but so good to Anton? Doesn't make any sense to me, although I know it happens all the time."

"I'm not sure. Maybe it had something to do with both the age difference, and the time difference. Anton was nearly a baby when Ivan raised him. Nate arrived about a hundred years later, and was older. But who knows? It could have been something as simple and stupid as their hair color. Or something far more profound that we don't understand or haven't learned. Either way, it sucks."

She was almost certain that part of Lindy hated Ivan for what he'd done...and she was angry about it herself. But she could never bring herself to hate him...not after saving Anton the way he did. And even though she didn't remember it, in another life she'd been married to Ivan. It blew her mind.

"Are you sure you don't want to get something to eat with the guys? I'm actually feeling a little hungry myself."

Lindy shook her head. "I had a bite on my way over. Anyway, I think Anton would kill me if I left after telling him I'd stay here with you. But I'll see if I can get you anything to eat." She wasn't sure if Bryn just wanted some time alone and was trying to politely tell her to go away. "Thank you." Bryn settled back against the pillow, watching silently as Lindy stood up and lifted Liam higher on her hip. She walked out the door, presumably headed towards the nurses station.

Bryn hadn't really been trying to get rid of everyone, but she was grateful for the sudden silence all the same. She had a moment to clear her head, her eyes carefully watching the baby's heart monitor. The epidural had started to take effect, making her lower body relax, and she was glad to see she wasn't feeling the contraction she was apparently having. Still, she couldn't feel Max anymore, either, and that worried her. Along with all of the other worries she had, the possibility of losing Max was the worst. She didn't know if she'd be able to survive that.

Although he knew that hovering over Bryn wouldn't help her, he was anxious to get back. Anton was nervous, afraid something would happen while he was gone. But not sure he'd be able to handle it if something went wrong. He leaned against the wall of the elevator, eyes shut, waiting for it to open on the basement floor, where the cafeteria was.

"You're not going to puke, are you? 'Cause I'd really like to stay clear of the launch zone," Nate said.

Anton opened his eyes to narrow slits. "Do you honestly think I'd tell you if I was?"

"Touchˇ." The elevator slowed to a stop, a bell ringing just before the doors opened. Stepping out into the hallway, they watched the overhead signs as they made their way to the cafeteria. "So...you want to talk about it, or just tell me to butt out?"

Anton sighed, stopping right before the door to the cafeteria. "I'm just not feeling confident now that I was meant to be a father. It's all become very real in the last twenty four hours that there is going to be a young, innocent life dependent on me."

"Kinda late to be thinking about this now, don't you think?" When Anton glared at him, he put his hands up in surrender. "If you weren't meant to be a father, you wouldn't have gotten Bryn pregnant. It's not as if it happened accidentally. You were supposed to be sterile. Empty, zip, void.

"As for having someone dependent on you, that's gonna last the rest of your life. Get used to it. I know it's weird, but the minute you hold your son for the first time, something inside you takes over. Something responsible and determined. After a few days, those early jitters start to dissolve, and you get really calm. And it's not a conscious decision, it just happens."

They both went into the cafeteria. Bypassing the like at the counter, Anton headed towards the pay machines. "It's not so much that, Nathaniel. It's...well neither of us had a good example of a father." He stared at the selection of candy bars. "I just don't want to repeat the mistakes Ivan made with us."

"Then don't. You have a brain; pay attention to what you're doing. If you see yourself screwing up, stop. Think about how you'd feel if someone else were treating you that way. And watch your kid...if his responses show fear or anger or sadness, think about it. Little kids are supposed to be happy. Teenagers are supposed to be rebellious little shits. If that isn't what you're seeing, something is probably wrong."

Anton gave him a half smile. "You make it sound easy."

Nate grunted. "Well, it's not. And then again, it is. Just love him as much as you can. Spend a lot of time with him. Let him know he's important. Then any mistakes you make won't matter."

Anton nodded. "Thanks for the advice, Nathaniel." He sighed again. "I think part of what is bothering me is the waiting. If something were actually happening, I wouldn't be thinking about all of this."

Another grunt from Nate, as he headed towards the cooler section and grabbed a bowl of salad. "Think about how she's feeling. All you have to do is sit there. She's doing all the work. And how long has it been? 8 hours?"

Anton shook his head. "Ten. We didn't call you right away."

"Sheesh. No wonder she looked like hell."

"Don't tell her that. Considering how she handles pain, I think she's doing very well." Anton also grabbed a sandwich, as well as a soda. He and Nate then moved to the cash register to pay. "And if you think she looks bad, you should take a look at your mother-in-law." Jess had helped them to the hospital, but she was looking paler, and got quieter the further Bryn's labor progressed. She wouldn't say exactly what she was experiencing though.

"I think Walter took her home. At least I haven't see her, anyway." Nate shook his head. "I can't even imagine what she must be feeling." Grabbing a package of peanut butter crackers for Liam, and a bottle of lemonade for both him and Lindy to share, he quickly paid for his purchases. "Eat here, or upstairs?" he asked, although he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

"Upstairs," Anton said, slightly bemused that Nathaniel was already heading towards the exit before he had even spoken. He followed his brother back to the elevator and waited for the car to come. Anton felt relieved that he had a chance to talk about his emotions. "Thanks for being here, Nathaniel. It means a lot to both Bryn and myself."

Nate gave him an assessing look, before shaking his head. "If anyone had ever told me I'd be standing here with you, talking about labor and parenthood, acting like real brothers, I would've laughed myself silly." He sniffed, a fond smile curving his lips. "I'm glad I'm here, too, man. And you're welcome."

The door to the elevator opened, and they let the passengers get off before they boarded. Neither said anything as they rode the car back up to Bryn's floor. When they got to her room, Lindy met them at the door. "The epidural finally kicked in. She's fallen asleep."

"Imagine that," Nate said, handing over the lemonade to Lindy. "Hey Buddy!" He plucking Liam out of her arms, flying him through the air like a plane. Glancing over at Anton, he arched an eyebrow. "You want to hold him? Try your luck?"

Anton held out his arms. "Sure." He took Liam from Nathaniel and held him close. "Hi there, Liam." Every time he held he werewolf child, he couldn't help but remember the first time he tried and Liam had cried at top volume. But Liam seemed to have gotten over his aversion. "Do you know you're going to have a cousin soon?" Liam looked up and babbled. "That's right, you are."

Nate grinned. "Hey Lind...he smells kinda stinky. Why don't you give Anton the diaper bag?" He chuckled at the look on Anton's face. "We have sort of an unspoken rule at our house. Whomever is holding him when he's stinky gets to change his butt."

Anton shot Lindy an accusing glance. "You never told me about that rule."

Lindy arched an eyebrow. "Why do you think he called it an unspoken rule? Come on," she said, slinging the diaper bag around to the front. "It's not that hard, and you need the practice. And just think how you'll be able to impress Bryn."

"I'm sure I could come up with a better way to impress her," Anton mumbled. "Okay," he sighed. "Where's the best place to do this?"

Nate pointed to the nearby men's room. "There should be a diaper changing table in there. If not, the counter works. Just don't forget to wash your hands before you eat your sandwich."

He could only grin widely as Anton glared at him. After she handed over the diaper bag, Nate wrapped his arm around Lindy and they both watched Anton disappear into the bathroom. Nate let out a snicker. "I can't believe he fell for that! We should have him over to hold Liam more often."

"I have to applaud your timing. I was just thinking that I'd have to change him myself." Lindy leaned against him, grinning as well. "How's he holding up? Bryn's doing okay for the moment, but I think she's more scared than she want's him to know."

He shrugged, leading over to the chairs opposite Bryn's room. "About the same. I find it ironic that they had almost nine months to think about all of this stuff and yet they're only worrying about it now. Probably too busy screwing each other silly."

"As if we don't?" she asked, her lips curved.

"They had *much* more time to do that than we have. I have to admit, it's making me realize just how responsible we've become in such a short period of time. I proud of us, gorgeous."

"I'm proud of us too, Nate." She sat down, pulling Nate down with her. "So how long before you go in there to check on them? Five minutes?"

"I don't know. I'm tempted to just leave him in there, but I don't want to get a cleanup bill from the hospital." He checked his watch, before putting his arm around her. "Five minutes sounds about right. I just wonder how many diapers he'll have gone through by then."

"Didn't you use up three your first time?"

"*Two*, thank you very much, and that's only because their little tape thingies were defective. I'm fond of the Pampers, myself, even if they do cost a fortune. At least you know you're working with the good stuff."

Lindy snickered. "I hope Anton appreciates that fact." They sat there for about five more minutes. About the time that Lindy was going to suggest that Nate go check on Anton when he walked out of the restroom, holding Liam close. "How'd it go?"

"I think it went well." He handed her the diaper bag back.

"He didn't pee on you, did he?" Nate asked.

Anton fixed him with an unwavering stare. "No. Were you hoping he would?"

"Maybe a little. You know, christen your first diaper-changing experience."

"Yeah, I know, and you would hope that, you sadist." Hitching the baby up higher on his hip, he watched as Liam played with his own shirt, kicking his feet happily, and then promptly stuck his finger up his nose. Shaking his head, Anton said, "I see he's already acquiring your mannerisms, Nathaniel."

Lindy stood up and took Liam from Anton. "I think I'll go check on Bryn. I suddenly have the need for mature conversation."

Anton made a face. "Don't bother. I want to be in there with her." Ignoring Nathaniel's dirty look, he slipped back into Bryn's room.

She was asleep on her side. He pulled up his chair closer to the bed and sat down beside her, gently pushing her hair back away from her eyes.

She sighed softly, reaching for his hand in her sleep and holding it between hers. He could see from the monitors that she was having a contraction...but apparently wasn't feeling a thing. He couldn't help but smile at that. At least she wasn't in pain any longer. And Max's heartbeat, although slowing slightly, didn't ever come close to dropping off the chart. With any luck, he hoped the next few hours or so would pass peacefully.

"Come on, Bryn! Push!" Anne urged.

Anton stayed crouched up by the head f the bed, holing one of Bryn's hands tight. "You can do this, Bryn," he whispered in her ear. "You're doing wonderful. It will all be done soon."

She felt like she might spontaneously combust. Her face flushed bright red with the need to breathe, yet her breath was held for the count of ten. Even if it hadn't been she couldn't get even a teaspoon of air with her body in this position. Curled into an odd ball, her lungs crushed under the weight of her stomach and her ribs, she pushed as hard as she could. And still didn't feel as if she was getting anywhere.

Although part of the epidural still lingered, she could feel the awful burning sensation in her crotch. A horrible ripping gash flashed through her brain, and she felt as if she might be sick.

"All right, Bryn, take a breath. Relax. I'm going to make a small incision here so you don't tear." The nurses holding her legs up and out both smiled at her, but it wasn't the slightest bit of relief. [This is really going to hurt tonight.]