Chapter Eighty-two Nate groaned, stretching out his legs and arms, then opened his eyes to meet Liam's blue gaze. He raised his eyebrow, his foggy head still adjusting to being awake. The first thing he noticed was that Liam was wide awake and playing with the remote control to the television. No doubt that was what he woke him. Lindy, still asleep between them, had her hand resting on the boy's thigh. Glancing over at the clock, Nate wiped his face with his hand. They'd slept over 16 hours since her return. Or at least some of them had. Wincing at the thought of what condition Liam's diaper must be in, Nate sat up and got out of bed. "Come here, squirt. Let's get you out of that thing." Liam held his arms up, eager to be held. Making a face, Nate carried Liam from their bedroom in search of a fresh diaper. Through it all, Lindy never stirred. Or she didn't until he had been gone from the room for thirty seconds. She woke with a start, alone in their bed. Wide eyed, she looked around, not remembering where she was for several seconds. [Not again,] she thought with a whimper. Eventually focussing on her surroundings, she touched the spots next to her on the bed and felt that both sides were warm. And she could smell Nate's deodorant. Swallowing heavily, she patiently waited for her heartbeat to return to normal. "Nate?" "I'm in Liam's room, baby--I'll be back in a minute. Poor kid stunk to high heaven. Looks like I'll be taking the diaper pail out tonight." "Okay," she said. Shivering, she pulled the sheets tighter around her body. She was safe at home, she had to remind herself. Most of last night seemed like a dream to her, and fortunately it had been real. Sitting up, she put her arms around her knees and waited for Nate to come back. Nate turned on the baby monitor in Liam's room so Lindy could hear them. Their son was grunting, trying his hardest to open the baby powder bottle and pour it all over himself. "Woo-ee that was a bad one, Liam. What did you eat yesterday?" After re-diapering their son, he dressed him in a pair of corduroy pants and a striped shirt. "Ready to go see Mommy? I bet she misses you. Let's go see what she's doing." Lindy looked up, eagerly awaiting their return. She held out her arms when she saw Nate come back into the room, Liam squirming in his arms. Smiling widely, she took Liam from her husband and cuddled him close. "I missed you so much. You've grown while I was gone I think." Liam grabbed hold of her t-shirt, so happy to be held by his Mommy. Nate crawled on to the bed as well, dragging the covers back and scrambling underneath once more. He shivered, wrapping his arm tightly around Lindy's waist. "It's cold out tonight. I think we oughta stay here and keep warm." "No arguments here," Lindy said, cuddling closer to him. He felt real and solid. She inhaled his scent and sighed. "I didn't think I was going to make it back, Nate. I was so sure he was going to kill me and take Liam." Tears started to well out of her eyes. "I didn't think I was going to see you again." Nate rolled onto his side facing her, with Liam sandwiched between them, and lifted his hand to stroke her face. "But you're here now, and you're safe. I was scared too, but I can't tell you how glad I am to see you." He traced his thumb over her lips. "I went crazy when you didn't come home that night...and then when Alex tracked you--" He took a deep breath. "I completely lost it. I thought I might lose my mind." She caught his hand in hers, pressing a kiss to his thumb. "You asked me to stay home that night, Nate, and I should have." She shivered, but not from cold. "It was my fault. If he hadn't let me go, he would have..." She shivered. "Denise was right. He hates vampires, and made it very clear to me that he'd kill me as soon as look at me." "Shh, Lind. It was not your fault. You went to work and you were coming home. You didn't do anything wrong. And if it hadn't happened that night, it might've happened some other night." He stroked her hair back away from her face. "I'll kill that bastard if I ever get my hands on him. He will *never* touch you or Liam again." She leaned harder against Nate, holding Liam tighter against her body. "I...I flashed back the first day I was there to when I was a child. And I don't think I really snapped out of it until just before he..." She covered her eyes with her hand. "I gave up! I was ready to die. I didn't struggle, didn't try to escape. I just sat there and waited to die." She was whimpering and started to rock back and forth. Nate settled Liam on the other side of Lindy, where he quickly resumed pushing the buttons on the remote control. Scooting closer to Lindy, Nate tightly wrapped his arms around her. He pressed his lips to her forehead. "That might've saved your life, Lindy. Can you imagine what he might've done if you'd angered him? If you fought back and he lashed out at you? He probably would've killed you then. And then you wouldn't be here with me now. You know how to survive, Lindy. You've been taught that all your life. I'm just so sorry you ever have occasion to us those skills." She wrapped her arms around him tightly and continued to sob. She hadn't thought of it that way. She had assumed that because she hadn't struggled she had done wrong. "What are we going to do now? I don't know why he let me go. Why he changed his mind and didn't take Liam. And if he'll change his mind back." "For one thing, I want you to start riding into work with Anton. If he can't take you, I will. And if you ever have to drive alone, if for some reason none of us can go with you--and you ask everyone--then you keep your doors locked at all times." He kissed her forehead again, holding her close. "He took you off the street, because he knew he wouldn't be able to get to you here. Not anymore. And I'll talk to Anton about getting more security at the warehouse. They only place you're vulnerable is out in public, which is why I want you have someone with you." He waited until she gave him her consent before adding, "What I want to know is what happened. Can you tell me about it? Do you remember?" Lindy nodded. "He had his car rigged up like a cop car, so I pulled over. And than I ran. I think he tackled me, cause I blacked out." She shivered a bit. "When I woke up, I was in a basement with a chain around my ankle. There was a window in it, but a small dark corner I could hide in during the day." She turned her head to look at him. "He would show up every so often and taunt me. he brought me water once, and a rabbit towards the end." Petting her hair, he swallowed to clear the sudden dryness of his mouth. "He didn't--he didn't touch you?" "No," she said, voice bordering between disgust and shame. "He made it clear that he wasn't into necrophilia, as he put it." Nate sighed heavily, burying his face against her neck. "Thank God. Every time I went to bed, all I could do was lay there and wonder what he was doing to you. And how I'd be able to face you, because I couldn't stop him. I swore to you that I'd never let that happen to you again. I was terrified that I couldn't keep my word." She brushed her cheek against the top of his head. "That's about all I can remember right now. What happened here, Nate? I know that you and my family must have been going nuts while I was gone." He lifted his head to meet her gaze. "You don't remember anything about him letting you go? About what happened or why it happened?" "We were fighting," she said a bit uncertainly. She let her head fall backwards against the headboard. "He kept asking me why he should let me live. Nothing I said seemed to satisfy him, until I told him to get it over with. He kept asking about my family life..." Lindy shook her head, uncertain. "I finally got mad at him, at the situation, and I think that's why he let me go, but I'm not sure." She looked over at him. "Does that make any sense?" Nate frowned. "No. Although I'm not sure I should be expecting it to make sense. Who knows what that psycho was thinking." He scratched his head, further mussing his already messy head. Rolling on to his stomach, he propped his head up on his arms. "What do you need me to do, Lind? What's going to make you feel better about being home? Do you want me to go to counseling with you? To hire guards for the property? Or maybe I should just leave you be and let it work itself out over time?" She bit her lower lip. "I...I don't know." She got off the bed and started to pace the length of the bed. "I'm not even certain that I can feel safe." Stopping at the far end of the bed, she leaned against the dresser. "I guess...I need....I don't know, Nate...I just don't know." "All right. You don't have to come up with any answers right now. You just got home." He rolled over and sat up, loosely looping his arms around his bent legs. "I guess what we should really be doing at this point is getting you fed. Both with a nice big breakfast, and with a strong feeding from the cows. The sooner you start feeling better physically, the easier it will be to work on the mental stuff." She nodded, even though she didn't look very convinced. They both watched as Liam push himself up to his feet, giving them a proud grin, and then took a teetering step towards Mom. Eyes wide, Lindy watched as Liam took another tentative step towards her. And another as he started to overbalance. Lindy knelt down and caught him, hugging him tight. "Good boy, Liam. I am so proud of you." She kissed her son's forehead and then looked up at Nate. "Did he start walking while was gone?" Nate lowered his eyes for a moment. "I'm ashamed to admit it, but I don't know. I didn't--I didn't spend a whole lot of time with him. I didn't take very good care of him. When I found out you were missing, I almost forgot about him. Anton was furious with me, and I can't blame him." Liam still in her arms, she sat down on the bed. She reached out to take his hand, squeezing his fingers lightly. "What happened, Nate? He looks happy and healthy, so you couldn't have taken that bad care of him." "Mostly because of Chandra and Bryn," he murmured quietly. "They volunteered to take care of him when they could, and then your parents also helped--when they weren't with me. Alex and Walter did so much...I can't believe I haven't yet thought to thank them. They just, they did everything they could." "As did you." She squeezed his fingers. She brushed her lips across Liam's head. She didn't want to say it out loud, but maybe he needed to talk to a counselor as badly as she did. But right now she wasn't strong enough to face that. "Maybe we should call everyone and let them know I'm awake?" He wearily rubbed his eyes, as if pushing the memories away. Blinking a few times, he looked up at her. She could see him swallow, before saying, "I think you should feed first, Lindy. You need to get your strength back. So do I." He looked towards the door, seeing Montel standing there, looking curiously at Lindy, his tail swishing back and forth. "Besides, I think your cat and Lily might like to say hello, too." She turned and looked at Montel. "Here, ki-ki-ki," she called. The cat trotted up to her and leapt on the bed, bumping his head against her side. She gently stroked Montel's side. "I think you're right. Let's go feed and check on Lily." She scratched Montel under the chin, and then guided Liam's hand gently over the cat's head. Getting out of bed, Nate grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them up over the briefs he'd worn to bed. He noticed that the hamper was overflowing, and he knew there were a lot of things to do around the house. But he didn't think he'd find the energy or the will to do it. The only thing he wanted to do was hold his wife. To watch his son take more of those incredible steps. It hadn't seemed real at all. Any of it. And he was so damned lucky it was. Tugging a shirt over his head, he sat down on the bed and reached for Liam so Lindy could get dressed. The little boy reached out quite willingly, and it made Nate's heart break. He pulled Liam tight against his chest and kissed his forehead repeatedly. "I love you, Liam. Daddy loves you so much. So very, very much." Lindy grabbed a pair of jeans as well and pulled off the shirt she had slept in. She put on bra and grabbed a fresh shirt. After she pulled it on, her eye was caught by the mirror. Although she looked better than last night, she was still gaunt, her cheekbones prominent and her hair limp and ashen. And there was a haunted look in her eyes. She looked back at Nate, who was cuddling Liam. "You don't have anything to worry about, kiddo. I'm not going to take my eyes off of you. You or Mommy. We're all going to stick together, safe and sound. And when everything calms down, we'll all take a trip somewhere. Maybe even to Hawaii. We'll ride horses and play in the water. And we wont have to worry about a thing. Doesn't that sound nice?" "I'm on my way to work, my dear. I'll see you later," Anton called up the stairs. He had already kissed her goodbye, but still felt the need to tell her as he picked up his keys. He walked out to the garage and deactivated the alarm of his car. As he started down the driveway, he caught a glimpse of a car that was parked in front of Jess's home. A car he didn't recognize. Curious and cautious, Anton pulled over and got out of his car. He caught sigh of a man heading around the back of it, towards Lindy and Nate's home. [Marrok,] he thought and started following him. A week had passed since LindyÕs return, and now it appeared that the werewolf was back. Anton was quiet, stalking as he would a human he was going to feed on. Making sure he wasn't in hearing distance, Anton pulled out his phone and hit the autodial for the werewolves' home. "It's Anton," he said quietly when Walter picked up the phone. ÒThere's someone out here." When Walter said they'd be outside in a moment to help, he hung up the phone, never taking his eyes off of the stranger. When the man started heading towards the front door of the house, Anton decided to act. He ran towards the stranger and caught up with him just before he reached the front steps. He grabbed one of the man's arms, forcing it behind him. "I'm only going to ask this once," Anton said in a low voice. "Who are you?" "Avon lady. Would you like a sample?" The man pulled against his grip, struggling futilely to get free. Letting out a deep sigh, he glanced over his shoulder. "You must be Anton? Or is it Nathaniel? Jess warned me to watch my back until I was introduced. Do you need credentials, or is it enough for me to tell you I'm Fox Mulder?" "Let's see your ID." There was no telling how much Marrok knew. "You'll have to get it from my back pocket." Anton sneered in disgust. "I'll let you do that," he said letting go of Mulder's arm. He watched as the man slowly reached for his wallet. Uneasily, Anton noted that the man was carrying a gun under his is jacket. "Don't try anything." Glancing down at his pistol, Mulder smirked. "If I wanted to try something, I'd use the one strapped to my ankle." Pulling out his wallet, he flipped it open for Anton's inspection. "I haven't received a welcome this gracious since leaving the Bureau. You've been talking to Krycek, haven't you?" He heard a sigh of disgust behind him. "Let him go, Anton. I know him, unfortunately." Anton turned to see Jess walking towards them, arms crossed. "I asked you to come to our home first," she said, walking towards Mulder and shaking her head. "But noooo...you had to go scare us all." She stopped and let out another sigh. "It is good to see you though, Mulder." Stepping away from Anton, Mulder flexed his arm and shot the other man a glare. After returning his wallet to his back pocket, he said, "So, do I get a hug or what?" Jess grinned and raised an eyebrow, glancing from Anton to Mulder. "I don't really think he wants to give you a hug, Mulder." "Smart ass," Mulder said as Jess embraced him. "So are you going to introduce me or what?" Jess stepped back and gestured to the vampire. "Fox Mulder, I'd like you to meet Anton Rudenko, Lindy's brother-in-law. Anton, this is Fox Mulder, an old friend of mine." "A pleasure," Anton said, although his voice didn't sound like he meant it. He still was wary of the former FBI agent, no matter what Jess said. But still, he offered his hand. "Sorry about the arm." Mulder cautiously shook his hand. "I've got another one, thankfully." Glancing back at the house, he noticed the heavy blinds covering the windows. "I take it no one's home?" "They're home. I was just thinking it might be better to call them first before inviting ourselves over. To, uh, let them know what to expect." He scowled. "You were going to prepare them for me? I'm starting to feel like an escaped mental patient." Jess curled her lip. "Well, Walter did tell me about the time he had you committed because you thought you were being stalked by a giant grasshopper..." She shrugged her shoulders when Mulder shook his head. "There's been some changes in the family dynamic that I thought I should bring you up to speed on before you talked to her." "Yeah, such as she's married now. Thanks for inviting me to the wedding." "Don't pull that guilt trip on me, Mulder. There are reasons for that, which I'll explain to you inside." She turned to Anton. "I think I've got things under control here, Anton. "Why don't you go on to work and I'll call if I need to talk to you." Anton looked a little dubious, but nodded. "I'll be home around 1 AM." As he turned to walk away he heard Mulder say. "1 AM? You've all become real night owls." Jess's response was a bit tired. "Mulder, you have no idea..." He was nearly scrubbing a hole in the dinner plate. Standing in front of the sink, scowling, Nate glanced at the clock once again. They were late. Jess had called him over an hour ago to inform them about Mulder's arrival. She'd said she would be over to introduce him before 10. That was twenty minutes ago. [Come on! Just get over here so we can get this over with. I don't know why we agreed to this. God-damned Fox Muld--] He flinched as the doorbell rang. Dropping the plate back into the soapy water, he turned around to reach for a towel. Liam was still in his high chair, looking over the side as he dropped a piece of steamed carrot onto the floor. Lindy, however, was nowhere to be seen. "Lind? Are you getting the door?" "Yeah, Nate," Lindy said, hurrying towards the door. She had been nervously waiting for Mulder to arrive with her mother. Unlike Nathaniel, she was edgy because he had known what she was before, and had told her mother to go ahead and tell him about what she was now. But she was still edgy. Would he think less of her? Would he judge her, look down on her for deciding to become a vampire? Taking a deep breath, she opened the door. "Hello, Mulder." "Wow, you look...wow." He smiled widely, stepping forward to pull her into a tight embrace. "You look wonderful. Being married obviously agrees with you." Over her shoulder, he noticed a tall, dark-haired man walking towards him, eyes narrowed and brow creased. Although not as enormously tall as his brother, he still didn't look like someone Mulder would want to meet in a dark alley. Hastily releasing Lindy, Mulder cleared his throat. "You must be Nathaniel." "I must be." Pulling Lindy closer to his side, he wrapped his arm around her waist. "And I take it you're Mulder? I thought you'd be...bigger." Lindy, Jess and Mulder all raised an eyebrow. Lindy leaned against Nate. "Come on in and have a seat, Mulder." They moved towards the couch. "Let me go get our son so you can meet Liam." As she started off to the kitchen, she kissed ate on the forehead. "I'll be right back." Sitting on the arm of the couch, rather like a gargoyle surveying his surroundings, Nate sized up the former FBI agent. He was expecting the scourge of all vampires, a formidable enemy that would send shivers down his spine. Seeing the real thing was more than a little disappointing. [I can't wait to talk to Anton about this.] Slightly uncomfortable under the larger man's scrutiny, Mulder glanced around the room. Anywhere but at Nathaniel's face. "This is a nice place you've got here. It's...'big'." "Custom built," Lindy said, walking back with their son in her arms. "This," she said, warmth and pride filling her voice, "is Liam. Our son. Would you like to hold him?" "Sure," Mulder said, holding out his arms. Ignoring Nate's scowl of disapproval, Lindy placed Liam in Mulder's arms. The little boy looked around, squirming uncomfortably. Seeing Nate, he reached towards his dad, making little whining noises. Clearing his throat, Nate stood up and reached for his son--all too happy to get the boy out of Mulder's arms. He sat back down with a self-satisfied smirk as Liam hung on to him tightly and stared back at the stranger with worried eyes. "No offense. He's like that with strange men." "So am I," Mulder said jokingly. He turned back t Lindy. "So Jess told me that you needed someone to talk to?" Lindy, a bit annoyed at Nate's attitude, gave a bit of a sigh. "Yeah. I'm having a bit of a problem adjusting to various things." "Such as?" "My marriage, having a child..." "Being a vampire?" Mulder added. "Yes, Jess told me about that when I got here tonight. Also that you had been abducted for a while." Nate didn't look pleased at all. Speaking before he had a chance to, Lindy said, "Yes. It was about a week ago. Liam's re--his biological father posed as a policeman. Thankfully Liam wasn't with me at the time." Settling Liam on his feet, Nate crossed his arms. "I hate to sound like a boor, but just what do you plan to do for Lindy that some other counselor couldn't do?" "I've worked with Lindy before. I know her history, and despite what you think, I won't be telling anyone about vampires. Even if I could get someone to believe me, Jess would kill me. She, and you, will both be able to speak freely." "Me?" Mulder nodded. "I think there will need to be a few joint sessions, and I would also like to speak with you alone, if you'll allow it." Nate shook his head, letting out a small laugh. "I think I'd rather not, thanks. I wasn't the one who was abducted." A thought drifted through his mind that made his lips curl. Anton was going to kill him. "Although, you might want to talk to my sister-in-law. She's had experience with abduction." Mulder's ears immediately perked up at that. "Oh? Really?" Lindy nodded. "Although you should really talk to her about it." She knew what Nate had done. He was trying to get Mulder's attention off of her. And if Mulder was going to be counseling her, she couldn't have him fighting her every step of the way. "Maybe we should get started tomorrow at about seven?" Nate's scowl darkened, but no one was paying attention. "That would work for me," Mulder said. He quickly changed the subject back to their earlier topic. "Nathaniel, I really think it would be beneficial to Lindy if you were willing to talk to me as well. Everything you said would be just between the two of us." Glancing at Lindy, who looked like she wanted to slap him, Nate sighed. "I'll think about it." Lindy's lips twitched. She recognized when Nate was being stubborn, and he was digging in. "So where are you staying, Mulder?" "I'm crashing over at your parents while I'm here. In fact, I should be heading over there now to catch up." "Okay," Lindy said. "Tomorrow at seven then." Nate stood up and followed them to the door. He stepped out on the porch, waving politely and saying goodbye when Mulder and Jess did the same. Yet as he watched them go, and put his arm around Lindy's shoulders, he was startled when Lindy abruptly shrugged him away and gave him a glare. He watched her storm back into the house and slam the door shut behind her. [Damn you, Mulder.] Silently hoping she hadn't locked the door, he followed her. The door opened easily, and he closed it behind him much quieter than she had. "Lindy? You want to talk to me about this, or are you going to pout all night?" "I might. It's better than pulling the attitude you have all night." "Attitude? What attitude?" Lindy rolled her eyes. "Well, how about asking him what he can do for me that other counselors can't? After I asked for him? Don't you trust my judgment?" "This doesn't have a damned thing to do with your judgment. I don't trust the guy. And I was right--what's the difference between him and going to a shrink who already lives here? Not much. Except that a shrink might actually be able to help you. This guy is a paranormal investigator, for God's sake! He's staked a vampire--did he tell you that?" "Yes! A vampire that was about to feed on him, so it a case of self preservation, even if I'm not happy about it. And he's also shot a werewolf, but you don't see my mom tearing out his throat." Lindy crossed her arms, glaring up at her husband. "I thought this was about me getting well. I can only work with someone I trust. I trust him. I don't know that I can say that about a complete stranger!" "Fine! I didn't say you couldn't talk to him. I didn't say anything. I just happened to mention that I'd rather not talk to him one-on-one...does that mean I'm now an outcast just because said no? Lindy, you know I don't care who you talk to as long it makes you feel better...but I can't just start trusting this guy over night. I've been warned about him for years." Liam, hearing the hostility in both their voices, started whimpering. Lindy picked him up and started rocking him, trying to soothe him. "If you can't trust him, trust me at least. Because this is going to be hard enough to do without us arguing about it, and I can't do it alone." Nate sighed, visibly deflating. [She has me so whipped it's not even funny.] "All right, Lindy. I won't fight it. And I'll stop being an arrogant jerk. But I'm still going to make my decision about talking to him alone later." He walked over and sank down on the couch, suddenly exhausted. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to sit here for while. I'll finish the dishes later." "Okay," she said, feeling defeated, even though she thought she had won the argument. "Here, why don't you take Liam and I'll finish the dishes." She handed over the boy, trying to bite back her tears. [Why do you expect me to trust you explicitly, but won't do the same for me?] She knocked before stepping out of the tunnel, even though she was pretty sure no one could hear her. The lights were on as she stepped out from behind the bookcase, then carefully pushed it back in place with one arm as she held Max. Dressed in a blue sleeper and wide-eyed from the new surroundings, the baby made a small cooing sound and held on to her shirt. "Let's go see who's here, sugar baby," Bryn murmured, rubbing his back. As she walked out of the den, she called out, "Hello? Is anyone awake?" Not getting any response, she walked out to the living room. She could hear voices talking, one familiar and female, one a stranger's and male. "So is everything okay with you, Jess?" the male voice asked. The werewolf shrugged. She was sitting on the couch, one leg cocked up and her arm resting against her thigh. "I'm worried about them, Mulder. I'm afraid that it's going to trigger a lot of bad memories for Lindy, and Nate's so devoted to her, it just about killed him. But he doesn't like to talk about his past or his emotions." Jess stopped to yawn. Mulder was stretched out at one end of the couch, ankles crossed in front of him. "You getting enough sleep, hell beast?" "Stop calling me that, Fox. And no, I'm not." Jess rubbed her head. She picked up her mug of hot chocolate from the floor and took a sip. "I'm having these weird dreams." Mulder leaned forward a bit. "What kind of dreams, Jess?" The werewolf shrugged again. "It's always in the past a couple hundred years, and I'm always a man. I can't quite place where or when. Somewhere in England, I think. Sometimes thereÕs a red headed woman I'm in love with. And sometimes Anton's in the dream." Bryn paused in the doorway. She wanted to ask Jess what she meant, but she didn't want to be caught eavesdropping. Stepping down into the sunken living room, she said, "Hello?" Both Jess and the man turned their heads to look at her. She smiled, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. "Hi. I'm sorry, Jess, I didn't know you had company. I can come back some other time." "No problem Bryn." Jess twisted around and gestured Bryn closer. "Bryn, this an old friend of mine, Fox Mulder. Mulder, this is Sabryn Rudenko, Lindy's sister-in-law. You met her husband earlier tonight." "And I've got the wrenched shoulder to prove it." Mulder stood up and offered Bryn his hand. "Nice to meet you." She shook his hand, although she wasn't quite smiling. "Wrenched shoulder?" "Uh, yeah. From what Jess told me, he thought I might be M--" He glanced at Jess, his eyebrows raised in question. "Marrok," Jess said. "Yeah, Marrok. When he saw me looking around Lindy's property, he decided to shoot first and ask questions later." He looked slightly chagrinned. "Your husband has some grip. For a minute there, I thought he was trying to rip my arm off and beat me with it." Bryn winced. "Sometimes he forgets his own strength. Are you all right?" "Yes, I'll live." "Well, I'm sorry that happened. Anton is very protective of Lindy. I'm sure it scared him to see a stranger on the property." "Not to mention protective of you and that little squirt. You mind if I hold him, Bryn?" Jess grinned as she took Max into her arms. "Mulder, this cutie is Maxim, Anton and Bryn's son." Mulder grinned at the baby. "He looks a lot like your husband, Sabryn, for having been adopted." Uncertain of whether or not Anton wanted Fox Mulder to have the correct information, she merely smiled. "Well, like Anton, he's certainly a handful." She grinned before realizing her words could easily be misconstrued. Blushing, she said, "Uh...metaphorically speaking, that is." Mulder chuckled softly. "He's growing like a weed," Jess said, still looking down at the boy. "It feels like he's doubled in size since the last time I held him." "He's probably done more than that, actually. I have an appointment to see Anne next week, so I guess we'll find out then." Jess sat down on the couch, still holding Max. "So why did you stop by, Bryn? Just want some company while Anton's at work?" Mulder raised his eyebrows. "He has a job?" "Yeah," Jess said. "He may be a dead man walking, but he does have a life," she added with a wry grin. "He owns an antique business down by the airport. You probably flew past it while you were landing." Bryn gave Mulder a small smile, even though she was slightly insulted by his question. [Give him a break--he's just human.] "Yes, I did want some company. It's amazing how quickly you can get frustrated by talking to someone who can't respond." She sat down in the recliner, lifting the footrest and leaning back. "So, you're here to start counseling Lindy, Mr. Mulder? Do you think you'll be able to help her?" "I hope so," Mulder said. "I've worked with her before, so I know about what was done to her. Although I get the distinct feeling Nathaniel would rather I not be involved." Jess shook her head. "Mulder, you're still the enemy, remember? You've got a reputation as a paranormal researcher in search of the truth, and they only want to hide." "True," Bryn said. "He's just concerned about Lindy's and his safety. You may mean well, but some vampires aren't even sure if they can trust other vampires. Let alone humans." She laced her hands together over her stomach. "Exactly how much experience have you had with vampires, Mr. Mulder?" "I've been involved in a few cases, but this is the first time I've actually had a chance to talk to them without my life being threatened." "The night is still young, Mulder," Jess said with a wry grin. "Shut up, hell beast." Mulder turned back to Bryn. "Actually, vampires and werewolves are a sideline for me. My real interest is in alien abduction." Bryn paled slightly. "A-And what kind of experience do you have with that?" "A lot. Not all of it having to do with the X-Files though." Mulder looked up at Jess, questioningly. When Jess nodded, he continued. "My sister was abducted by aliens when I was 10 years old. I've been searching for her ever since. That is part of what drew me to the X-Files. I've also experienced missing time." Bryn sat up a bit, swallowing heavily. "She's still missing?" "Yes. I don't know if I'll ever find her." Her gaze was distance, focused somewhere on the opposite wall...or beyond. "I didn't know that could happen. I thought they always brought us back. God, I can't even imagine the fear..." "You're an abductee, Mrs. Rudenko?" Mulder shot a slightly accusing glare at Jess. "You're holding out on me." Jess crossed her arms. "I didn't think that it was any of your business, unless Bryn told you." Mulder turned back to Bryn, eyes curious. "Do you remember much about your abduction? And when your last one was?" She still wasn't paying him much attention, but she was observant enough to answer part of his question. "I was seven. It only happened once. Once was bad enough." "Seven? That's the same age my sister was when she was abducted." Both of them looked uncomfortable at that coincidence. Jess was about to say something when the phone rang. She picked it up shifting Max to her other arm. "Hello...yes she is...okay. Front door is unlocked and 'so's the tunnel. See you in a few minutes." She hung up the phone. "Anton will be here in a few minutes." Bryn smiled at the mention of his name, sat up straighter and lowered the foot rest. "If he complains at all about going in to work, just remember that he's full of it. He secretly loves it." She let out a small laugh, grateful to get the focus off of her. "Sometimes I think he has fantasies of being the boss of everyone." A few seconds later, Anton walked into the room. He was a bit surprised to see Mulder there, but he didn't allow it to show. "Good evening, Jess. Mr. Mulder." Anton took Max from Jess. "Hi there, Max," he said, kissing his son hello. He then went over to Bryn's chair and lightly kissed her. "Good evening to you too, my dear." She smiled widely. "Good evening. How was your day?" Getting up from her chair, she gestured for him to sit down. Settling down lightly on his lap, she hugged him briefly. "I understand you've already been introduced to Mr. Mulder." "Yes I have. Sorry about the arm." Ad he was sorry, just a little bit. But not enough to act too contrite. Anton tilted his head at Mulder. "I understand you and Jess once dated." "We were set up by a mutual friend," Mulder said. "Just shortly after Jess was Changed." Bryn shifted onto the arm of the chair, hoping she wasn't making Anton uncomfortable. Looking at Jess, she said, "Did he know right away what you are? I can't imagine it would be easy to tell anyone just after you're Changed." Jess shook her head, she and Mulder sharing bemused smiles. "Bryn, *I* didn't know what I was. It had happened literally the day before I met him. And as for telling him..." "I think I knew before Jess did," Mulder said softly. "And I hoped she would tell me, but she never did. Not until the night I called her by name when she was a wolf." "I almost peed on the floor when he did that," Jess said. "The romantic part of the relationship ended then, but we've always managed to stay good friends, despite everything." Jess traced her finger around the rim of her mug. "In some ways, I think our relationship got stronger when we stopped sleeping together." Bryn smiled briefly. "I also remember Alex and Walter saying that they knew you, Mr. Mulder. Was that before or after you knew Jess? I would think that would cause some interesting dynamics." Mulder looked at Jess before answering. "No secrets, Mulder. We're an open book here." "Skin...Walter," Mulder corrected, "was my boss in the FBI. Alex was originally a partner of mine. Or so I thought, until he betrayed me." "Alex was involved a government conspiracy," Jess said, mincing no words. She had come to terms with her lover's past. "Mulder was getting too close to something, so Alex was sent to distract him." "I realized that Alex was a double agent, so he was forced to go underground. He pissed off his handlers, and ended up part of the werewolf experiment that Jess was a part of as well. They met through coincidence and fell in love. It almost ruined our friendship," Mulder said. "I'm glad you were able to...reconcile, I guess." Bryn glanced at Anton, wondering if he had anything to ask. She wasn't altogether comfortable discussing Alex's past transgressions. She knew he was a nice man and his family trusted him implicitly, but she hardly knew him herself. Was he really someone who could be trusted with Max? She trusted Jess, and surely that should count for something...but when it came to her son.... Clearing her throat, she asked, "You are friends with Alex now, aren't you, Mr. Mulder?" "Yeah. We ended up working out our differences and making peace a long time ago. And it's been helpful to have an ex-spy for a friend at times." "I see," Anton said. Lindy had hinted to him before that Alex had a dark past, but he had no idea that the man had been a spy and part of a government conspiracy. He'd have to be more careful around the man. Alex could be a bigger threat than this Mulder was. He'd have to talk to Nathaniel, make sure that his brother was fully aware of this. "I don't know about you, my dear, but I'm starting to tire out. Shall we head home?" Bryn nodded, standing up. "Thank you, both of you, for entertaining me. And it was nice meeting you, Mr. Mulder. I hope you're able to help Lindy. She really deserves to have some peace." "I hope I'm able to also. She definitely deserves it after everything she's been through." Mulder stood to shake both Bryn's hand and Anton's. "Perhaps I'll see you again later on." "Perhaps," Anton said noncommittally as he stood. He wouldn't outright avoid this man, whom he still didn't trust. But he wouldn't go out of his way to seek his company either. "I'll talk to you later on, Jess." "Good bye, Bryn, Anton, Max," Jess said. "Let me know if you need a baby-sitter any time soon." "We will. Good bye." As Anton guided Bryn, who was carrying Max, back to the tunnel entrance, he could hear Mulder's voice. "So, hell beast, tell me a bit more about the dream you were talking about earlier..." They were both quiet as they walked down the stairs to the tunnel. She grabbed his hand once they reached the open space, speeding up her step a bit to match his strides. Max's soft grunting was nearly drowned out by their footsteps echoing down the corridor. Rubbing her thumb over his, she said, "We could've left earlier if you were uncomfortable. I didn't tell him anything about us." "That's okay, my dear." He slowed down a bit, now that they were now alone together in the tunnel. "It wasn't so much that I was uncomfortable around Fox Mulder, but I was a bit surprised about Jess's revelations about Alex. I knew the man wasn't above bending the laws when needed, but I had no idea that he had been a spy." "You didn't?" When he shook his head, she let out a sigh. "I was sitting there wondering if I was the only one who didn't know. I mean, he seems like a perfectly nice guy, and they obviously aren't bothered by it...but they've had a long time to deal with it." She shook her head. "I trust Jess and Lindy, but to have a spy in their family? Jess said Alex was a 'former spy'. But would she really tell us if he still was? It would destroy his cover. Government conspiracies about werewolves--how do we know he hasn't moved on to vampires as well? I know that he's a werewolf himself, but what if he chose that fate to get himself closer to his targets? I don't want someone like that living a house away from me, let alone you or Max. The implications scare me to death." "I know, Bryn, and it scares me too." And Alex wanted him to talk about his childhood trauma? He didn't think so, not by a long shot. "We're going to have to be very cautious now, Bryn. I know you're close to Jess, but she might be unknowingly used by Alex." He sighed. "Why is it when we think we're finally safe, something always happens?" "I don't know." She was quiet for a moment, thinking. "I wish we could just ask them what's going on, but if he is still mixed up in that stuff they'd never tell us. Even though we have a right to know." She stepped closer to him, wrapping her arm around his waist instead. "Well, other than the psycho vampiress on the other side of the world plotting our demise, the possessed werewolf who likes attacking everyone who's been near his son, and the double-agent spy, how was your day, sugar?" "Positively boring when you put it that way, my dear." He slipped an arm around her shoulders. "I was able to get both my work done, and Lindy's caught up." He kissed her forehead. "How about your day? What do you think of this Mr. Mulder? I can't say too much, other than I could easily break his arm." "So I heard," she said, grinning. "Who needs a guard dog, when I have you?" At his dark look, she giggled. "Actually, my day was kind of boring. I did the laundry, fed Max, changed his diaper, changed the sheets on our bed, fed Max, cleaned the bathroom, fed Max, changed his diaper...you get the drift. Unfortunately I forgot to get something out for dinner, so we're either having spaghetti or frozen pizza." She gave him a meek smile. "And...as for Mr. Mulder, he makes me uncomfortable. He was talking to me about alien abductions. I had the feeling he knew about my abduction before I ever walked in the door." "Pizza sounds good my dear. But what do you mean that he already knew you were an abductee?" He turned to look at Bryn, pausing to look at her, his voice perfectly serious. "Do you think that perhaps Alex told him?" "I think it's more likely that it was Jess. But that could very well mean Alex knows, too." She sighed and kept walking. "It's not as if it's a state secret or anything. I wasn't hiding it. I'm...I'm just not altogether sure I want it told to any stranger that comes along. I know this is a stupid example, but it feels like they're telling anything they want to about me. 'Hey, Mulder, did you know that Bryn's lactating? Yeah, and she once farted in front of her entire fifth grade class, too." He resisted the temptation to ask if she really had. Instead he tried to stay focused on her emotions. "I'm not sure what we can do about that, my dear. Other than asking that people not discuss it. But it is a question that we need to look into - who told him first. He squeezed his arm. "I'm assuming Nathaniel and Lindy know as well? Although I doubt either of them would say something." "Yes, they do. Nate likes to make jokes about it," she grumbled. When she saw Anton frown, she was quick to add, "He's just teasing me. I'd rather laugh about it anyway. It's better than the alternative." As they reached the stairs up to their own house, he gestured for her to go up before him. The moment she pushed open the door, she let out a sigh of relief at the heat in the library. "I feel like I've been cold ever since we heard about Alex." Anton put his arms around her from behind. "Well, then, why don't I go heat up that pizza, and then we'll see about warming each other up," he said with a grin. "By the way, my dear, is it true? Did you really fart in front of your fifth grade class?" She was silent for a moment, still facing away from him. "Yes, and it was extremely embarrassing." She glanced over her shoulder, eyebrow raised. "Want a reenactment?" "No, that's not necessary, my dear," Anton said as they went to the kitchen. He turned on the oven and walked over to the refrigerator. "I hadn't thought about it before, and I don't mean him per se, but do you want to talk to someone? About your abduction, I mean. Or anything that's happened recently." "My first impulse is to say no, but that's probably just me trying to worm my way out of talking about my problems." She set the temperature on the oven, then leaned against the counter, rocking slowly back and forth, lulling Max back to sleep. "But I guess it wouldn't be a bad idea. Maybe it would help me to be a little less neurotic." She smiled. "Besides, it might get me out of the house more often." Anton nodded. "It's something to think about," he said, watching her rock Max. A soft smile crossed his face. She was so beautiful, and he still had a hard time believing that after one thousand years of longing and wishing for what he knew could not be, he was a father. That the little miracle his wife was holding was half of him, half of her. She glanced up to see him watching her and gave him a small smile. "What about you, Anton? Have you given anymore thought to talking to someone about your abuse? Or maybe even to talking to me about it? You haven't said a word about it since you told me." Anton leaned back against the sink, sighing bit. "I haven't, have I?" He shook his head. "I don't know, Bryn. I'm so used to not talking about it that I find it hard to discuss...what happened. You and Ivan are the only ones who know what happened. Alex only made a lucky guess." She walked around the counter and into the open living room, settling Max down on the couch. Petunia walked over to sniff at him, but luckily the baby only made a few protesting cries before falling back to sleep. Shooing the dog towards the kitchen, Bryn put her hands on her hips. "So, I take it that's a no?" "No, Bryn, it's an I'm-not-sure," he answered as he walked towards her. "Sometimes I think about going to a counselor, but I usually talk myself out of it rather quickly. But that's not facing up to the problem, is it?" She shook her head. "Not anymore than I was." She let her arms slide down to rest at her sides. "I've been to counseling before, so I shouldn't be worried about it, but I know it's a lot of hard work to 'spill your guts' like that. And sometimes when I'm feeling emotionally lazy or vulnerable, I don't really want to go. Is that what you're feeling? Or is it something more basic, like wondering what other people would think if you were seeing a counselor?" "A little bit of both," he said, uncharacteristically quiet. Stepping closer, she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Well, there will be times when you won't want to talk to someone because it hurts too much, and that's exactly when you know you *have* to talk about it. It's the pain of something trying to break free, and once it comes and out, you feel so much better afterwards. And counselors do listen...you can tell them to slow down if becomes too much for you to handle." She settled her chin against his chest, looking up at him. "And if you're worried about anyone else's opinion, no one has to know but us. I'm not going to tell anyone, because that would be up to you. But I will support you, Anton. I want you to start healing, because it breaks my heart to think that you've been holding on to his pain for so long." Anton put his arms round her as well and squeezed, a shiver running through his frame. His voice was thick with emotion, trying to push out the words. "I...think...I should talk to a counselor then." She hugged him tightly, rubbing a hand up and down his back. "I'm proud of you, Anton. I always have been and always will be. Even if you change your mind. But if you do want to go, I'll do everything I can to help you. If you want me to go to sessions with you, I will. Or you might decide you'd rather go alone. I only have one favor to ask--that you not hide your feelings from me. If you get sad or scared, I'll do everything I can to help you. And I promise that no matter what happens, no matter how vulnerable it makes you feel, you'll always be the man I love." He squeezed his arms around her, swaying slightly. "I promise I'll be more open with you, Bryn. And I think I want you to come along at first. Maybe not at the actual session, but it would be a great comfort to know that you'll be outside waiting for me." He nuzzled the top of her head. "I guess the question now is finding someone to talk to." "We could ask Anne. She might know someone who can help. Or you could talk to Zenobia." She lifted up to her tiptoes, pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. "We'll find someone we both can trust. Even if it takes a while." They both started slightly as the buzzer on the oven sounded, indicating it had reached the correct temperature. "How about I go put the pizza in the oven while you sit down and relax? Then we can cuddle up together until it's ready." "Okay, my dear." He pressed his lips to her forehead. Reluctantly he released her, letting her go to the kitchen Instead of sitting right away, he looked at Max, watching his son sleep. [So young, so innocent,] he thought. He sat down gently beside him quietly. Opening the box the pizza came in, Bryn discreetly watched Anton ease onto the couch. He looked so small and vulnerable for a such a large, powerful man. She knew she'd been taking a risk in mentioning his past abuse, but she truly did think counseling could help him. If he actually managed to open up, she acknowledged. [If he's uncomfortable talking to me about it, what makes me think he'll talk to a complete stranger?] Sighing inwardly, she slid the pizza onto a cookie sheet and put it in the oven. After setting the timer for twenty minutes, she walked back to where Anton was sitting and settled down on his lap. "I love you, Anton." "I love you too, Bryn." He gently kissed her temple, lingering close to take comfort in her smell and her warmth. He stroked his fingers through her hair, closing his eyes and just being with her. It had been hard for him to admit that he needed help, but in some ways it felt that a burden had been lifted. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, knowing he needed to be held. It was difficult to acknowledge he was hurting and she couldn't help him. All she could do was stay close, let him know he wasn't alone, and hope he felt her concern. Kissing him on the cheek, she remained silent and concentrated on his breathing. Finally matching and counterbalancing her inhalations with his. It felt to him that they were one being, perfectly giving and sharing breath, bodies fused together as they held and were held. He rubbed his hand along her spine, accepting the comfort she was giving him. He pressed his lips to her forehead, and held them there, squeezing her tight against him. After a moment, she pulled back slightly to meet his gaze, giving him a gentle smile. She stroked his cheeks with her thumbs, then met his lips with hers and kissed him chastely. There wouldn't be any lovemaking tonight, she knew, and she wasn't disappointed. She would hold him as long as he needed, content just to be held in return. End Chapter Eighty-two <- Previous Chapter | Home | Next Chapter ->