Chapter Eighty-eight Something was very wrong. Her body didn't feel right to her. It felt smaller, a girl's body, not a woman's. And she seemed to have two minds thinking in her head. The one that felt that something wasn't right, and the second one that wanted a drink of water. She climbed down from her bed, which seemed high off the ground to her. That's when she noticed she was wearing footsie pajamas. She hadn't worn those since she was a child. But that didn't seem to matter as she walked out of her room and in search of her mama. Not Jess, but a green eyed woman with the same color hair as hers. She wandered into her mama's bedroom, seeing the unslept in bed and then down the hall way to the living room of their one story house. Halfway there she heard her mama's voice. She sounded scared. Mama never sounded scared. The adult part of her mind again whispered that something was very wrong. She stepped into the living room, and saw the stranger who she had seen watching her at the park earlier talking to her mama. Something about the tall, blond man with the ice gray eyes frightened her. And his voice got louder when he saw her standing there. She didn't understand all the words her mother used. Except 'police' as mama slammed the door shut. Mama turned around and saw Lindy for the first time. "What are you doing out of bed, Janey?" Mama started walking towards her when they heard a loud crash and a splintering of wood. The door had been torn off its hinges. Standing there growling at them was a large gray animal that looked like the neighbor's dog Eskimo would if Eskimo could stand on his hind legs. But the ice gray eyes didn't look friendly like Eskimo's did. The monster roared, waving a paw towards the light switch. "Jane! Run!" Mama yelled. She turned and started to run up the hall, trying to find a place to hide as the lights went out. She heard Mama scream again, and it was abruptly cut off with a sickening wet sound. Then she heard and felt a pounding of the floor behind her and she was being lifted up in the air.... Lindy woke up from her nightmare, screaming. Startled out of his own sleep, Nate jumped in mid-snore, his eyes scanning the room rapidly as he tried to focus. He expected to find someone in their bedroom, someone hurting her, or possibly someone trying to hurt Liam. But he wasn't expecting to see Lindy curled into a fetal position next to him, crying and trembling uncontrollably. He hesitated for a second, wondering if she might refuse his comfort, but decided he didn't care. She could push him away all she wanted--but if he never tried, he'd have only himself to blame. "Lind?" He reached out cautiously, laying his hand on her arm. She jumped under his touch, looking as if she might bolt, but as her gaze landed on his face, he saw her caution melt into desperation. She rolled over to face him, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist and sobbing against his white T-shirt. He didn't bother to question it, but wrapped his arms around her just as tightly, scooting down a bit in the bed until they were both completely covered by blankets, keeping them warm and making sure Liam stayed asleep. "It's all right, baby. You're home. You're safe here. No one can hurt you, Lind, I promise." She clung to him even tighter, shaking. A sickening realization came over her. She had recognized parts of the dream as the recurring nightmare of hers, but now she realized what it was. She had believed a lie for almost all her life. It took her three attempts for her to speak. "It...it wasn't....a dream. It's...a...memory." He stroked his hand over her hair, pressing his lips to her forehead. He wasn't particularly surprised by that announcement. She'd been having memories of her abduction ever since he brought her home. It was half the reason why she didn't want him to touch her. "I won't let him get to you again, Lindy. If I have to get rid of him, myself, I will. He's not going to hurt us anymore." She made a confused face, wondering how he could get rid of someone who was already dead. Then she understood. "No...no....um, not Marrok. The dream." She snuggled a little closer to him, tucking herself under his chin. "The dream about me running in the darkness." Her mood shifted abruptly to anger. "Damn it! I never even thought to question what he told me about Mama! Even when he lied to me about everything else." Nate frowned, but didn't bother to ask her what she was talking about. She'd let him know when she was ready. He hoped. Instead, he merely slipped his hand under the back of her shirt, cautiously watching her as he rubbed her bare back with his hand. Her skin was so warm, so soft beneath his palm, and he was slightly embarrassed to feel himself getting aroused from just a simple touch. Shifting his hips away from her, he began moving his hand in a wide circle. If this simple touch was all he could get, at least he would enjoy it. She stayed tucked close to him, soaking up his body heat, relaxing into his touch. Slowly she started to speak. "Ever since I got away from my abuser, I've been having what I thought were nightmares. Me running in darkness and being snatched off my feet while hearing my abuser laugh. I thought they were nightmares and nothing more, but I wasn't particularly eager to explore what it might mean beyond the obvious. I never thought..." She paused for a moment. "This time the dream started earlier. I saw Mama arguing with my abuser before he broke down the door. Then it went into the nightmare I was familiar with. But it's not a nightmare. It's a memory." Lindy's eyes welled up with tears. "He told me that she had been a junkie and had traded me for a fix. She didn't do that at all. He killed her. She died trying to protect me, and I believed the lies that bastard told me without even thinking about it at all." He burrowed his face against her hair, breathing in the sweet scent. "It's not your fault, Lind. You were a little girl and you were scared. You wanted someone to come rescue you and she didn't. Hell, you probably didn't even know what death was when he first took you. If you can't understand what's happening to you, you look for explanations...and if you only get *one* explanation, that's the one you tend to believe. Stop beating yourself up for being a kid, baby. You did nothing wrong. He did." She nodded. "I know," she whispered. Instead of pulling away like he expected, she stayed close to him. She was relaxed and comforted in his arms. She gave him a half-smile. "I think we know what we'll be talking about with Mulder next." He nodded, the added, "Unless he wants to keep the focus on me." Tucking his head over hers, he let out a sigh. He didn't know what to do...if he should keep holding her, or just let her roll over and go back to sleep. The thought made his throat squeeze. He hated that they slept facing opposite directions. That they wore clothes to bed and barely ever touched. He loved her to death and he always would...but he missed her terribly. His voice heavy with emotion, he murmured, "I don't want to let you go, Alinda." She missed his touch, missed his scent. She took a breath. She wasn't going to let Marrok or her abuser, or even herself ruin what she and Nate shared. "Then don't, Nathaniel." Slowly, and after a false start, much like the first time she kissed him, she pressed her lips to his, trembling at the feeling. He let out a soft sob, eyes overflowing as opened his mouth to pull on one of her lips. His hands clutched her tightly, and he had to force himself to back off. Scaring her was the last thing he wanted to do. So he wouldn't drag her on top of him and thrust his tongue into her mouth. He wouldn't rip off her clothes and stab himself into her like a possessed lunatic. Even thought he wanted to, desperately. Instead he lightened his grip, softened his touch, and let her take the lead. This wouldn't lead very far, anyway. Even though he could've made love to her for days. She could feel him backing away and for a moment did the same herself. Then she realized she didn't want to back away. She wanted to press forward. She wanted to feel him moving over and inside of her. She pushed herself against him, panting, and slid a leg between his. "Make love to me, Nathaniel. I need you so, so badly." He wanted her so badly he was shaking. Wanted her so much he actually considered it. But his brain took over before his libido could speak up. Still keeping his voice quiet, he said, "I don't think that's a good idea, Lindy. It was just a dream. You'll be able to get back to sleep." He ran his hand through his hair, swallowing heavily. "You'll just regret it later, and I don't want you upset with me because I took advantage of you." She swallowed, her hands grabbing fistfuls of his T-shirt. "I'm not going to let my past ruin my present and my future, Nate. I'm not going to let what my abuser or what Marrok did to me destroy what we have. Lindara may not trust you, but I do. You won't be taking advantage of me, Nate. I need to be comforted by your touch, to know you find me sexy." He squeezed his eyes shut, angered by his fear and vulnerability. He didn't want her to see him like this, like a sex-starved beggar. Or like an affection-hungry, love-starved little boy. Even though he was both. His lower lip quivered before he harshly bit it. Grabbing her hand, he yanked up the hem of his T-shirt and pressed her hand over his chest. Over his racing heart. "You will never know how sexy I find you. How beautiful and sweet, and wonderful. But you break my heart, Lindy. I love you so much, and it crushed me that you...didn't want me touching you. That I disgusted--" He shook his head, sucking in a harsh breath. Finally opening his red-rimmed eyes, he said, "If you want sex from me, I'll give it to you. If you need to be held, I'll do that too. But don't you dare let me believe that this is anything more than what it is, because I don't know if I can take it. I don't know if I could handle being rejected by you again." She closed her eyes, unable to deal with the pain she saw in his. [I've hurt him.] It wasn't that she didn't want his touch, or that he disgusted her. "I'm sorry, Nathaniel. I never meant to..." But she had. He had been nothing but caring and understanding and supportive, and she had rejected it all from him. She wanted him to make love to her like they used to. Not the cold impersonality of a fuck. But hearing the pain in his voice, she wasn't sure that he was going to be able to. She pressed her hand harder over his heart, not sure if she'd be the one who was rejected and pushed away in a moment. "God, I've treated you no better than Natasha did." Nate wiped his hand over his face, letting out a heavy sigh. "I never said, and I never meant to imply it. God, Lindy, look at me!" He didn't talk until she opened her eyes. "You are nothing like Natasha, and I don't ever want to hear you say that again. That woman hated me, she used me, and she threw me away. We never made love--we raped each other. The only time she showed me the least bit of kindness was when she knew she had me right where she wanted me...under her thumb and completely under her control. She hurt me sadistically. You hurt me unknowingly." Clenching his teeth, he sat up in bed, hunched forward, as if he might be sick. But instead of vomiting, he shook his head. "It wasn't your fault, baby. I'm sorry. I never should have said that to you. You were only trying to get better, and I was the one pushing. I've always been the one pushing you. I pushed you to get married, I gave you no choice about your Transformation, and now I'm doing it again." Tossing the blankets aside, he got out of the bed and stood up. "I think it might be better for both of us if I slept in another room from now on. I'm so sorry, honey. None of this is your fault. I just--you're still healing, and I think that's the way it should be. Maybe when you get better, I can come back." She sat up in bed, sheets tucked up under her arm, eyes closed. "If you come back, you mean." Her voice was low and angry. "You tell me that it's not my fault, and yet you're punishing me. Every time there's a problem, you run away. This time, you're not taking me with you." She sighed, defeated. "Go ahead and move out of our bedroom if that's what you want." "It's not what I want!" He let out another heavy sigh, feeling as if he was getting nowhere. Walking around the bed, he sat down right next to her, bracing his arm on her other side, trapping her legs under the blankets. "And for God's sake, I'm not punishing you. I'm trying to get us both through this in one piece. I can't go on the way things are right now. I just can't do it. Maybe going to another room isn't going to solve anything, but neither is staying stuck in this rut. I'm lonely, Lindy. I--I don't know what to do." He closed his eyes, despising that pleading voice. There was no way for him to change anything without becoming a total asshole...and he never wanted that for her. So he mentally gave in. Surrendered the fight. "If you want me to stay here, I'll stay. I'll do whatever you want me to do." [And I'll pretend I'm not dying inside.] She slid her legs up and put her arms around her knees. She could see the defeat in his eyes, and it was turning a knife in her side. "I want something I can't have. I want it to be like it was before..." She sighed again. "Please, just hold me." He swallowed heavily and nodded. Standing up, he walked back to his side of the bed and got beneath the covers. They didn't seem to add any warmth to his body at all. Not even she could do that. Urging her to lay down, he pulled her closer and wrapped his arm around her. Tucking her head under his chin. The arousal he'd felt earlier was completely diminished, replaced by a numb sort of acceptance. This was it. This was what he had to look forward to every single day. Well, on days when he was lucky enough to be allowed to touch her. He'd never wanted to cry more in his life. Tucked against him, she didn't feel warmth or loved or comforted. Trying to ignore the acidic feeling in the pit of her stomach, she closed her eyes and tried, in vain, to relax. She never felt more isolated in her life. [We can't go on like this.] She sat up, swallowing hard. "I can't do this." She got out of the bed, trying to keep her tears from falling. "It's not fair to you to put you through this. I...." She sighed. She didn't want to say what she felt she had to. "I think it might be best if I spend the day at my parents." He sat up, eyes narrowing in disbelief. "You give me a major guilt trip about moving to the next bedroom, and yet you want to move to another house?" He let out a soft laugh, amazed by how much his hand was shaking as he lifted it to push the hair out of his eyes. "Do you know that I slept about six hours the whole time you were gone? I searched for you every night, and drove myself insane during the day. I tried to care for our son, even though he didn't want me. He wanted his mother. And God damn it, so did I." Rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, he hung his head. "But I'm done now, Lindy. I'm done fighting. I'm just too tired, and too fucking old to be begging. So if you want to go, then go. Just remember, you're the one who walked away. Not me." "Yes, Nate! I'm walking away." Eyes flaming in anger she stared at him, hands balled into fists. "You keep saying that you want me, but when I make a move, you push me away! You keep telling me that you want to help me, but fight me at every turn! And when we fight, you run away! Well not this time, Nathaniel! I'm saving you the trouble and leaving first!" Turning on her heels, she stomped out the door. She was crying by the time she made it to the wine rack that concealed the entrance to the tunnel. Nate jumped when he heard the door to the wine cellar slam shut. Only a few seconds passed before Liam started to cry. He didn't think it was the door that frightened the boy. More than likely, he'd awakened when he heard them screaming. Now that silence had come, he was terrified. Getting out of the bed, Nate scratched the back of his neck and yawned. Part of him had to wonder why he wasn't breaking down. The numb side of his brain knew that he'd dammed up his emotions days ago. [Let her go. She was never here, anyway. She hasn't been here since she left that night.] Walking across the hallway, he pushed open Liam's door and saw him standing up in his crib. Tears streamed down his face as he held his arms out, anxious to be held. "Hey buddy. It's all right." Picking him up, Nate pulled the baby close to his chest, where Liam quickly slumped against him, clutching his T-shirt as he bawled. "You're okay, sweetheart. Come on. You can come downstairs and sleep on the couch with Daddy." Heading for the stairs, he clutched his son as tightly as the boy held on to him. Slumped just inside of the entrance of the tunnel. Despite what she had just told him, she wasn't sure she could go through with it. She wanted so badly to run back inside, cast herself down at his feet sobbing, and beg him to forgive her. She could hear Liam crying, and her heart echoed the ache. [What are we going to do about Liam?] Shivering and wrapping her arms around her body for what little warmth she could get, she started down the tunnels towards her parents home. Wandering into the kitchen, Nate lightly bounced Liam as he flipped on the lights. The boy's cries hadn't slowed or quieted one bit. Deciding to tempt him with cookies, Nate grabbed a glass from the cupboard, took it to the refrigerator, and pulled out the milk. It wasn't as easy to maneuver with only one hand free, but he managed. Milk glass full, he headed for the microwave to get rid of the chill. Walking around the counter, his gaze strayed to the clock--but he didn't even notice the time. What he really saw was the calendar hanging below it. "Shit." [Happy fucking Valentine's day, Nate.] Anton put the car in park on the bluff overlooking the ocean. So far this Valentine's night had been perfect. The werewolves were watching Max for the night, with the promise that they would have the weekend to themselves. So that had left Anton and Bryn free for an evening of wining and dining and dancing. The ocean was still high from last night's storm, but other than a few high clouds, the sky was clear, diamond stars twinkling against the dark velvet. But they didn't compare to the stars sparkling in Bryn's eyes. "Enjoying yourself, my dear?" Leaning forward in anticipation, staring out the windshield at the rolling waves, she turned at the sound of his voice. "Hmm? Oh, yes, I am." She smiled at him. "An excellent dinner, dessert, and out to the ocean with the most amazing guy around? Of course I'd be enjoying myself!" Sliding sideways, she cupped his jaw in her hand and softly kissed him. "Can we go down there? I know it's cold, but I only want to go for a little while." "Of course, my dear." As Anton got out of the car and walked around to her side, he slipped the small red foil wrapped box from his coat pocket to his suit jacket. He opened the door. "It'll be cold down there. Is that jacket warm enough my dear, or would you like my coat as well?" "Then you'll be cold. I'm fine, sugar, thank you." She stood up, grateful to be able to breathe again. Although the red and black corset dress she'd worn was striking against her dark hair and pale skin, it was also impossibly tight. Not to mention that the plastic 'bones' were poking into her belly every time she sat. Still, she did like the way Anton couldn't seem to take his eyes off her cleavage. Tucking her arms into her coat, she reached over to dig in his pocket for the car keys, giving him a little wink, and then hurried back to the trunk. Once she'd grabbed the nicely wrapped clothing box she brought from home, she closed the trunk and walked back to his side. "I'm ready to go." Anton offered her his arm, much as he had the night that they met in Santa Cruz. But at the last moment, he slipped his arm around her waist. He guided him down to the stairs that cut through the cliff and lead to the ocean. She was warm against his side, and he felt content. "Remember the last time we were on a beach, my dear?' She smiled, nodding. "Mm hmm. I remember thinking that if all guys in California were as gorgeous and amazingly sweet as you, I'd definitely have to move here. Unfortunately, I was wrong about all of the guys, but I wasn't wrong about you...so I had to move here, anyway." She squeezed the arm she had wrapped around him. "Plus, I've met some other good guys along the way. Maybe my prediction wasn't so far off, after all." "Perhaps, my dear." Reaching the base of the stairs, he stepped out onto the sand, balancing Bryn against him as she wobbled slightly. Together they walked down towards the ocean. His hand idly rubbed across her side. "So when would you like your present, my dear?" She gave him an impish grin, then shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Whenever you want to give it to me." She walked a few more steps before turning to face him, handing him the package in her hand. "But you have to open mine first!" He arched an eyebrow. "Now?" Sabryn grinned, nodding. "Yep." She watched with giddy impatience, bouncing on her toes as he pulled the ribbon off the box. He tore into the paper recklessly, knowing she was far too excited to allow him to take his time. Lifting the lid away, he let it fall to the sand. Bryn fought to keep her hair out of her eyes as he pulled away the tissue paper...revealing white silk boxers with brilliant red kisses all over them. Anton chuckled. "They're beautiful, my dear." There was more in the box. He could tell by the weight. Pulling aside another layer of tissue paper, Anton saw a plaster plaque at the bottom of the box. Carefully he lifted it out, and smiled warmly when he saw the cast of Max's hand prints, with the words "I love Daddy" carved into the top. "Bryn, this is wonderful! Thank you." he slipped his hand inside his jacket pocket and pulled out the small, wrapped jewelry box. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the box, and she shook her head to clear it. "Wait! There's more in the box." She deftly took her own gift to free his hand, and then reached into the very bottom of the box she'd given him. He could see then that she was picking up a picture, that the white photo-paper back had been facing him. Before turning it over, she paused. "I don't have this in a frame...because I wasn't sure if I was going to give it to you or not. I had this picture taken last year, long before Christmas. I could've given it to you then, but I decided not to because I thought it might be inappropriate. I had the same debate with myself on New Year's Eve. But...I finally decided that you would probably like it, so here it is." He narrowed his eyes slightly in suspicion, expecting her to turn over a boudoir picture. Yet as she flipped it over for his view, he saw that she was fully clothed, and quite pregnant. Her clothes, hair, and make-up elegantly styled. Standing in front of a glittering sea and beautifully lit by full sunshine. Smiling widely, as if looking directly at him. He swallowed. Choked with emotion, it took him a few seconds to find his voice. "It's beautiful, Sabryn. Thank you." His eyes hungrily devoured the sight of her in sunlight. "We definitely need to get this framed and put up in my office." Careful not to crease the picture, he kissed her on the lips. Setting her own present in his box for the moment, she cupped his face in both hands and kissed him back. She was relieved that he wasn't upset. She hadn't been sure whether he'd like the photograph or be painfully reminded of what he couldn't have for himself. Pulling back slightly from the lingering kiss, she said, "Danika has a few other proofs, just in case you want a bigger one or maybe something for your wallet. Now all I need is a picture of you in moonlight for my wallet." Smiling, she picked up the small box he'd given her and zealously began ripping away the red foil. Anton smiled at the little squeal she let out when the black velvet box was revealed. He eagerly awaited her reaction as she cracked open the box. It had been tricky to find a set of ruby earrings that would match both her necklace and her red diamond ring. But when, going someplace Nathaniel recommended for his other valentine's day present, he had seen the dangling pear shaped rubies earrings with the diamonds on the stud, he knew they were just what he was looking for. She covered her gaping mouth with her hand, but not before a gasp escaped. Her knees faltering slightly, she quickly pushed herself upright again. "Oh my God, Anton...you spoil me so much." She looked up at him with wide eyes and quickly matched them with an even wider grin. "They're beautiful. I just love them. Thank you so much." Giving a little bounce, she said, "Will you put them on me?" Anton nodded, taking the box from her and giving her his box to hold. Cautiously, knowing if he lost an earring or a backing it would be lost forever on the beach, he pulled the earring out of the box and carefully put one on each ear. "They're even more beautiful on you than I imagined." He leaned in close and kissed just below each ear and then on her lips. She couldn't stop smiling as she tucked her hair behind her ears and then wrapped one arm around him. Leaning in closer, she kissed the base of his throat. She also kissed his Adam's apple, after feeling it jerk against her nose. "Thank you, sugar. You make me feel like a princess." He cupped her chin with his left hand. "And you deserve to be treated like one." Now it was time for the second part of his gift. "I never thought I'd say this, my dear, but take off my wedding ring." He hoped that it was visible in the dark. It had taken three different stencils to get the right size and position for his tattoo. Underneath his wedding ring, in flowing script, was her name, marking him as hers always. She'd only moved his ring about an inch. Frozen in place, she stared down at the tiny writing. Her grasp on his hand tightened fractionally. For a moment he didn't think she was going to respond. Reaching out his hand, he tilted her chin up to see tears spilling out of her eyes. She shuddered slightly, attempting to smile. "It's...perfect." Cradling her head, he gently wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. He leaned toward her, kissing her forehead, pulling her close as she trembled with emotion. "I'm yours, forever," he whispered before kissing her lips. His tongue slid across her lips and then lightly between them. Pushing his ring back into place, she let go of his hand and wrapped her arm around him once more, pulling him tight against her, opening her mouth to his kiss. Tugging him with her, she crouched slightly to set his box of gifts on the sand. Once both hands were free, she enthusiastically wrapped both arms around him, lifting up to her tiptoes, letting out a small squeak as he lifted her off her feet. She melted into him, pouring her whole heart and soul out, telling him with her actions that she was his forever, too. He squeezed her tight against his body, wishing they could merge into one being. He kissed her thoroughly, stroking his hand through her hair. He sucked on her tongue, exploring her mouth which was no less exciting for being familiar. When the kiss broke, he tucked Bryn's head under his chin. "So would you like to take a walk along the beach, or would you like to go back to the car?" Despite the cold, she had wanted to walk along the beach. However, his proposition sounded much more inviting. "Back to the car," she said, grinning up at him. "Unless you want me to attack you here on the beach." He smiled back at her. "There are just some places you don't want to get sand, my dear. And the ocean is a tad cold tonight." Slowly he lowered her to her feet. Waiting for her to pick up the box with the presents, he then scooped her back up in his arms and carried her to the stairwell leading to the parking area. Lowering her again on one stair above him so he could look up into her eyes, he kissed her again. And again. And again. She let out a soft moan against his mouth, wanting so badly to slump to the ground and drag him on top of her. She didn't care that she'd be lying on the stairs...feeling him inside her was all she could think of. Her breathing speeding up, she sucked firmly on his tongue as she clutched his arm. Carefully backing her way up the stairs and pulling him along with her. She felt herself start to stumble and she broke away from his kiss, laughing out loud, as he caught her before she fell on her ass. Grabbing his hand, she turned around the face the right direction and hurried up the stairs, tugging him behind her, still giggling. He followed her eagerly, reaching into his pockets for his keys. He barely had time to deactivate the alarm on the Jaguar before slamming her against it. He pinned her against the front, letting her feel his erection before kissing her and reaching over to open the back door. "Isn't one of the things a boyfriend supposed to do is have sex with his girlfriend in the back seat of his car?" She whimpered softly, sliding her hand over his hip and squeezing his ass. She smiled as his muscles clenched beneath her touch. "Yes, he is." Kissing him again, she started subtly pulling the hem of his shirt out of his waist band. "And he's supposed to get a tattoo with his girlfriend's name. To make her feel really pretty and give her sweet gifts on Valentine's day. I'd say you're well ahead of schedule, Mr. Rudenko." "Good for me," he purred. He shifted his hips against her again as she stroked his stomach under his shirt. "Or more accurately, good for you." He stroked his hand down her back and started to squeeze her ass. She shuddered lightly, pushing herself tighter against him. He smelled so incredibly good, and she sniffed his cologne like a fine wine. Tugging gently on his tie, she maneuvered them around the door and climbed in the car. She could barely breathe anymore in her tight corset, and she couldn't wait to feel his hands on her. His mouth on her. His thick cock inside her. He followed her willingly, anticipating the feeling of her moving beneath him. Pulling the door shut after them, he yanked her closer to his body, crushing her against him. Breathing heavily, he started kissing her neck and ear, sliding his hand over her shoulder before straying to the laces holding her corset closed. Slowly he loosened them before starting to slowly lower the zipper in the back. She quickly stripped her coat the rest of the way down her arms, tossing it carelessly towards the front seats. Reaching for him, she pushed his coat and suit jacket off his broad shoulders, deliberately sliding her hands over the powerful muscles of his arms, then finally shoving his coat over the seats as well. He was so large, both in musculature and in height, that he nearly took up all of the backseat himself. But she relished the feeling--of being so small, being crushed against his massive frame, and being treated like fine porcelain in his hands. He didn't baby her, by any means...but his touch was gentle, reverent, protective. And delicious. Bryn wrapped her arms around his back, kissing him hungrily. She let her shoe drop to the floor, tracing her foot up and down his calf. He let out a soft growl, working the straps of her corset over her shoulders. His mouth traveled across her cheek to claim her lip. Pulling her top away, he started leaning her down, laying her diagonally along the back seat so her head rested in the angle created by the door and back seat. Resting his weigh on one arm, he started to squeeze one breast, rubbing his thumb over her nipple. "I have to admit, Bryn. I've never made love in the back seat of a car before." She bit her lip, arching herself against his hand. "You did in my Escape...but I guess that doesn't really count as a car. Which means neither one of us has done this before." Grabbing his tie, she pulled him closer for a lingering kiss. While she had him bent over her, she took the opportunity to loosen his tie and slip it over his head. "But we have made love in a carriage, several times, right? And...on the back of a horse, with me straddling your lap and the horse's gait moving you deeper inside me with every bounce." His fingers tightened around her breast. "Yes," he whispered as she started undoing the buttons of his dress shirt. "So many times we couldn't keep our hands off of each other, could barely wait until we were alone." His hand went to the fabric of her skirt, toying with it before starting to strip it away. "What else do you remember?" he asked, curious. She pulled the sides of his shirt apart, lifting up to kiss and lap at his nipples. "Not a lot. It comes in little flashes when I least expect it." Pausing, she looked up to meet his gaze. "Sometimes when you say something I've heard before, or give me a certain look, I remember when it happened before, and what caused it. Sometimes it's things I don't want to remember at all...but most of the time, I'm remembering different times when you've smiled at me. And it makes my breath catch every time." He couldn't help but smile at that, and the fact that she had nothing on under the skirt. "Sabryn...you should have told me earlier. I would have made sure the restaurant we went to had a full length table cloth if I had known that I could just done this." He ran his hand up the inside of her thigh, not stopping when he reached her slick sex. Rubbing around her clit, he pushed his long middle finger inside of her, feeling her tremble and gasp. The windows of the Jaguar had fogged over from both of their heavy breathing, which grew heavier as Anton slowly moved his finger in and out of her. "Ohhh-h-h-h-h..." She shuddered heavily, opening her legs as far as the seats would allow. Licking her lips, she let her hips lift to follow his movements, thrusting against his finger, twitching every time his thumb slid over her clit. "If you did this in a restaurant...we wouldn't need a long table cloth. My moans would let everyone know what we were doing anyway." Chewing on her lower lip, she reached up to unfasten his slacks, dragging them and his boxers down his hips, firmly grasping his erection. He let out a low moan, throbbing in her hand. His eyes shut in bliss as she slowly stroked the length of him, and then shivered as her hand caressed his balls. Unable to wait any longer, he pulled out his finger. Bryn, realizing what he wanted, pulled him closer, helping him position himself so he could ram himself inside of her. One hand on the seat by her shoulder, other hand gripping the edge by the rear windshield, he thrust as far inside of her as he could. Whimpering, she scooted her hips as tight against him as she could. Bracing her foot on the wall behind him. She grabbed his ass, holding on tightly as if he might slip away. "Oh shhh...sugar. You feel so good." She squeezed him gently, smiling widely at him. "I love you so much. And I love the way you love me." "I love you too, Bryn." Anton's eyes were still shut, his head thrown back. One leg was stretched out along the seat, his other knee resting on the floor of the car. An awkward position that he could feel causing cramps in his thighs. But he wasn't about to move out of it. Instead he started to thrust and move, arching low over her so her nipples were skimming against his chest. He kissed her again, also impaling her mouth with his tongue. She kissed him back passionately, needing him to feel just how much she loved him, worshipped him. Her hands tightened on his ass, fingernails lightly scraping his skin. Lifting her hips, she moved in opposition to his thrusts, pushing him in deeper, harder. Wishing that just once they could fuse into one undulating mass. Sliding her hands down a little lower, she skimmed her fingertips over his anus, squeaking at the sharp thrust he gave, smacking her head against the door. She barely even noticed. One of his hands wrapped around her head, protecting it as his thrusts became more forceful. Between the feel of Bryn's sex and her fingers toying with him, he was impossibly hard. Almost hyperventilating, he began stroking her clit, jumping at how she tightened down further on him. Sabryn cried out, the added stimulation so intense that it was almost too much to bear. But she wasn't going to let him stop for a second. Keeping the fingers of one hand firmly rubbing across his anus, she let her other hand drift down to add pressure to his perineum. She kept her touch light at first, slowly pressing down harder with each thrust he gave inside her. She quivered beneath him, feeling the tingles emanating from clit. Her orgasm was close, as she knew his was...but, even though they were both uncomfortable in the cramped space, she didn't want it to end so soon. His whole body was trembling with the need to cum. And Bryn's fingers on his ass and her mouth on his, tongue slipping inside was what finally pushed him over the edge, despite the intense cramp in his left leg. Crying out, Anton exploded inside of Bryn, rubbing her clit rapidly to bring her along with him. "Uh-h...uh...ahhh!" She squealed loudly, clamping down around him. Her hips spasmed, jerking against his. Panting, she helped him upright, letting out a soft sigh of disappointment as he pulled out of her. Awkwardly scooting herself out of the way, she said, "Sit down. I want to get on your lap and put your cock back inside me before it softens. I just need to feel it. I need to hold you tightly and feel you inside me one more time. Please?" "When have I been able to deny you anything Bryn?" Making a face as he stretched out his cramped thighs, he sat down on the driver side of the car and scooted towards the center. He then eased her onto his lap and back inside of her. He trembled at the sensation, still sensitive from his orgasm. And he pulled her forward so she was draped over his chest and shoulders. "Is this what you want, my dear?" Bryn whimpered, pressing herself tightly against him, lightly biting his neck. She squeezed his cock firmly, rhythmically, wondering if it would be possible to keep him hard. Or at least get him hard again. "It's perfect, sugar." Wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders, she pressed her nose to his neck. "If I'm hurting your legs, I'll move. It's not worth it if I'm only putting you in pain." "Not at all, my dear. No pain at all." He started to nip at her neck. His hands went to her waist, fingers wrapping around to stroke the upper swells of her ass. "In fact," he whispered in her ear. "It feels very good." She smiled, resisting the urge to start rocking her hips. He wasn't completely hard, and she didn't want him to slip out. Concentrating on the base of his cock, she used her muscles to hold on, pull him in deeper, and to caress the length of him. She'd had plenty of practice...when they fell asleep together after sex, and he was still inside her, his dream-induced erection could wake her from a sound sleep. Sometimes she would just lie there, subtly squeezing him, watching the expression on his face, wondering if she could bring him to orgasm without even waking him. It hadn't happened yet...but didn't mind him waking up, either. He brushed her hair back from her ear so he could nibble on the lobe. He wasn't sure exactly what Bryn was doing to his cock, but it felt good. As did her nipples poking his chest. And the heat of her thighs on his. Slowly his lips traveled across her cheeks and then caught her lower lip between them, pulling lightly. He was in no hurry, or at least not until he was a bit harder. She kissed him back lazily, pushing her tongue into his mouth. Part of her wanted to stop and pick this up at their home, in the comfort of their bedroom. But another part of her didn't think she could wait that long. Of course...she could always get dressed and let him do the same, waiting until he was driving home to give him an amazing blowjob. Then again, she wasn't certain if he could drive with her doing that. Leaning back to look him in the eye, she decided to leave the choice up to him. "Do you want to keep doing this...or have me give you a blowjob on the way home?" Anton groaned. "Decisions, decisions," he said, his cock twitching inside of her. Starting to lift her hips up and down, he shook his head. "I think we'd end up in a ditch somewhere along the way." Slowly, he began kissing her neck, leaning her back slightly so he could work his way down to her breast. She let out a shaky sigh, bracing her hand on the edge of the seat so she could help to control the movements of her hips. Her other hand slid between them, reaching down to wrap around the base of his cock tightly. Her eyes slid closed, head falling back limply as he kissed his way down her neck. His mouth felt wonderful, and she shivered in anticipation as he drew closer to her nipples. "Mmm, Anton..." He drew soft circles on her flesh with his tongue before lapping it across her nipple. He held on to her hips as she squealed and bucked. Bent over her, he couldn't get any leverage to thrust into her, so he continued to guide her with his hands. His cock had almost fully stiffened again, and her motions and her hand stimulated him further. "Oh God..." Rocking her hips, she squeezed him with every withdrawal, grunting softly every time he filled her completely, feeling his cock stab against her womb. It felt so good she couldn't keep still. She wanted to swallow him entirely, to lock herself on his body and never let go. Looking down, her head tilted to the side to see around his, she watched his slick shaft move in and out of her, the mouth of her sex stretched wide to accommodate him. Shifting the grip of her hand, she let her thumb rub against her clit with every fall. Twitching lightly with every pass. He groaned again, his hand joining hers to put more pressure on her clit. "I need you to cum first," he whispered harshly, grinding their groins together. He shoved her thumb to the side so he could rub her directly. His eyes were wide, staring into hers intently. "Cum for me, Bryn. I need you." She pushed herself close to him, kissing his mouth greedily. His fingers on her clit rubbed in rapid circles, making her shudder, and she squealed loudly when her orgasm finally swept over her. She clenched down tightly around him before her muscles rippled with waves of pleasure. "Ohhh, An-ton..." Watching her eyes shut and her mouth drop open in pleasure was what it took for him for him. While she was still spasming around him, he pulled her hips down tight against him, gasping for breath as he came. He pressed his face against her hair, inhaling her scent. This moment felt perfect to him, and he didn't want to move. "Love you, Bryn," he breathed against her ear. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, pressing a lingering kiss to his cheek. "I love you, too, Anton." Pulling back slightly to meet his gaze, she smiled widely at him. "Thank you for our date tonight. I really had fun. But I always have fun when I'm with you, whether we're out to dinner or we just stay home and snuggle on the couch. Sometimes I even prefer staying home with you. You're the only entertainment I need." She leaned forward to gently kiss his lips. "You're everything I need." He kissed her lightly. "And you are definitely everything I need. Otherwise, I wouldn't keep searching for you and finding you after all these centuries." He stretched slightly under her. "It'll be sunrise soon, so I think we need to get home. But that doesn't mean we can't still fool around the car once it's in the garage." She tilted her head to the side, as if considering it. "I don't know, oh boyfriend of mine. I think I'd like it better if you snuck me up to your bedroom and did naughty things to me. I'll be sure to be quiet if you want me to...but I could make you cum really hard if you let me be loud." He brushed his lips across her cheek. "And how am I supposed to resist an offer like that?" He held her tight against his body for a moment, although they should have gotten dressed, relishing her heat and weight against him. "And what happens if our parents catch us?" She quivered lightly, intrigued by the idea. Lowering her voice a bit, she murmured, "Then I guess I'll just have to get rebellious, because I do anything to be with you again. Even if it means running away with you." She kissed him on the jaw, following it around until she reached his lips. "I don't think I'm in any mood to put that corset back on...so I hope you don't mind if I ride back naked." Anton swallowed at the image that came to mind. "I don't mind at all, my dear." He just hoped they didn't run into any cops on the way back. She grinned again, kissing him one more time before sliding off his lap. She turned and reached for the lever on the driver's side door, giving him a small wink before climbing out of the car. Feeling extremely naughty for being outside in no clothes, it took all of her nerve to keep from sprinting to the other side of the car. Instead, she sauntered, swayed, letting him look his fill through the windshield. Mouth suddenly dry, he stared, unable to tear his eyes away. He scrambled out of the car and got into the driver's seat, intent on getting home as fast as he could. It was only when he pulled onto the main highway and felt Bryn's hand creep into his lap that he remembered that he was still naked too. [Please don't let us cross paths with any cops,] he prayed, hitting the accelerator. [Or ditches.] After another round of lovemaking at home, they had decided it was time to get Max. Pulling on some clothes, Bryn and Anton headed down the tunnels to the werewolves' home. "I'm assuming that you enjoyed yourself tonight, my dear," he said, watching the lights glint off of her ruby earrings. "Mmm, definitely," she said, grinning. She bouncing along beside him like an playful gazelle, filled with way too much energy for such a late hour. Grabbing on to his arm, she lifted up on to her tiptoes, still walking, and placed a loud kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, my love. I had a fabulous time." Letting out a small giggle, she continued to hang on to his arm. "I think we should celebrate St. Patrick's day the exact same way. Except for the driving home naked part...I think that poor truck driver almost ran off the road." Anton snorted. "I'll make a note of that, my dear." Coming up to the door, he knocked on it. They had called the werewolves earlier to let them know that they'd be coming over to pick up Max. Walter had sounded strangely distracted on the phone, but assured him that someone would be at the tunnel door. And when Alex opened the door, he knew something was wrong from the werewolf's expression. "What's wrong?" Alex swallowed, keeping his face neutral. "Lindy came over here after you left. She says she wants to stay here with us. Indefinitely." Bryn's smile faded. "She and Nate are fighting?" Alex nodded, stepping aside to allow them entrance into the den. Speaking with his voice hushed, he said, "She didn't bring Liam with her, so I'm assuming Nathaniel is taking care of him for now. She hasn't said whether or not she wants him here with her. Jess is talking to her now." He paused, glancing toward the door. "She's in shock at the moment." "Has anyone called Nate?" "Yes. Walter's over with him now. Mulder's tried talking to both of them. Neither of them are saying much." Alex passed a tired hand over his eyes. "Would you try talking to him and finding out what's wrong? I don't trust myself not to beat the shit out of him at the moment." Anton nodded, still a bit stunned. He had thought, even with her recent abduction, that Nate and Lindy's marriage was more solid than this. "I'll see what I can do." Bryn was dismayed by Alex's reaction. If he didn't know what was happening, how could he judge Nate so harshly? If she knew anything about her brother-in-law, it was that Nathaniel loved his wife. Loved his family. And she didn't believe he'd do anything to hurt them. Eyes slightly narrowed, she said, "I would thank you not to insult him in front of my husband, Mr. Krycek. Nate is his brother, and Anton certainly doesn't need to hear you bad mouthing him when you don't even know what the hell you're talking about." Both Alex and Anton looked surprised by Bryn's reaction. As the werewolf was about to respond, they heard another voice. "Alex." They looked to the door to see Jess, holding Max, standing there. "Would you sit with her for a few minutes?" Alex nodded and walked out of the room without another word. Jess shook her head as she walked towards Bryn and Anton. "You'll have to forgive my mate, Bryn. I heard what he and you said. He's always been very protective of Lindy and he's not thinking clearly at the moment." "How bad is it, Jess?" Anton asked as she handed over Max. She sighed. "It's apparently something that's been building since he found her. They're both hurting, but they're not really listening to what the other is saying." She swung the diaper bag off of her shoulder. "Max was just changed, and he was fed the bottles you sent with him. Also, he bit down on my wrist and drank some of my blood, but not too much. I'm not certain he liked the taste of werewolf blood, and I wasn't certain how good it would be for him." Bryn held the alpha female's gaze, not at all sorry about what she'd said--but also well aware that they were being effectively dismissed from the house. Hanging on to the diaper bag, while Anton held their son, she said, "Thank you for taking care of him. I'm sorry you were bitten. We're trying to teach him not to do that unless it's offered." She paused, but didn't waver her gaze. "I hope Lindy is all right. I'll call her some time tomorrow." "Please do. She's going to need all the support she can get. Same goes for Nate." Jess rubbed her forehead, like she was suffering from a massive headache. "I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a distant bitch, but this has really got me worried. I've never seen Lindy like this in all the years I've known her. And I'm afraid that it's going to get worse before it gets better.' Bryn glanced over at her son, who busily gnawing on his fist, and then up at Anton. "We should go check on Nate. He might need some help looking after Liam right now. And I think Jess already has enough to deal with." Anton nodded. "Call us if you need anything." Jess nodded and closed the door to the library as they turned back into the tunnel. "Was that wise, my dear?" Anton asked as he lifted Max higher on his shoulder. "What, Anton?" "You just challenged two emotionally upset werewolves on their home territory. I don't think Jess caught what you were doing, but I did." "I honestly don't care if it was wise or not," she said, stepping away from the door and walking briskly down the corridor. "He insulted you, and she kicked us out of her house. We didn't have a chance to say one word to Lindy. And before you say it, I realize that they were protecting her. But that doesn't give him any right to say something like that about Nate." She slowed for a minute, turning to face him. "Besides, they ruined my good mood!" Anton looked at her, a smile spreading across his face despite the seriousness of the situation. She was standing up for herself, and not caring what others thought of her. "Well said, my dear. Well said." Taking long strides, he caught up with her. "Do you think it would be too upsetting to Nathaniel if we brought Max over? Or do you want to come with me when I check on him? I think I should before too much longer." She reached for his hand, slightly relieved that he wasn't angry. Not that she would've apologized if he had been. "I think Max will be just fine," she said, stroking a hand over the baby's soft hair. "Liam is there, and he probably needs a distraction. And yes, I'm coming with you right now. Because if by chance it turns out that I was wrong, and this is Nate's fault...I'm going to personally kick his ass." "Well said again, my dear." Anton knew the werewolves tended to side with their daughter, but he wanted to see Nathaniel before passing judgment. They found the door to the wine cellar slightly ajar. "Nathaniel? Walter?" No one answered. Looking to Anton, Bryn shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe the door upstairs is closed?" "Why is this door open?" he said, more to himself, as he pushed it open. "Maybe Lindy left in a hurry." He let out a soft sigh, closing the door firmly behind her. Making sure Bryn had the diaper bag handled, he passed Max over to her. "Let me go first, just in case. We don't know what kind of mood he's in." "Well, he's not going to attack me!" He gave her a dry look over his shoulder. "Just let me go first." "Fine. I wasn't complaining. Back here I can admire the view." Anton shook his head, half smiling. He started towards the stairway, but stopped as he saw Walter coming down it. "I just put Liam down for a nap. Poor kid is confused about what is happening. I assume you've heard?" Anton nodded. "Where is he?" "Nate's in the kitchen. And he's not doing that well." Again Anton nodded and turned towards the kitchen, Bryn following. Slowly he stepped into it, not wanting to startle his brother. He didn't think that he'd react violently, but that was always a possibility. "Nathaniel?" Nate turned his head, letting out a sigh as he saw them. "I'm beginning to feel like there's a big sign above my head--Don't feed the zoo animals." He bent down to sweep up the broken glass on the floor, watching them out of the corner of his eye. "I dropped the glass, I didn't throw it. So you can stop gawking at me like that. I'm fine." Anton nodded, holding the door open for Bryn to enter. Despite his protestations of being fine, Nathaniel looked like a wreck. He knew that the vampire hadn't been sleeping even when Lindy had been found. "What happened, Nathaniel?" He glanced at Bryn, as she sat down by the table, before looking back to Anton. "I don't really want to discuss this. It's between me and Lindy. Besides, I'm sure you can get all of your information out of Walter." He lifted up the dustpan, then slid its contents into the garbage can and shut the childproof cabinet. "I don't even know why he's here," he muttered. "They're all on Lindy's side anyway. Hell, even I'm on her side." "Well, you're wrong there about a few points." Anton grabbed one of the chairs from he table and sat, motioning for Bryn to do he same. "First of all, I'm your brother, so that does make it my business. And secondly, I don't think that Walter would be here if he were automatically on her side. And I won't take a side until I've heard both your and her story." Nate narrowed his eyes at Anton. "You're not going to leave until I've told you. Are you?" he accused. "You know me too well, Nathaniel." "You being my brother has absolutely nothing to do with this. It certainly doesn't mean you have any right to butt in to my life. So I guess you're just going to have to make yourself comfortable, because you're going to be here for days." Bryn became annoyed by that statement. "Nate, he's not going to judge you--" "You stay out of this! If it's none of his business, it's certainly none of yours." "You don't have to be such an asshole about it. We're not the ones you're upset with." He glared at her, his gaze icy cold. "You are now." Immediately Anton stood up and placed himself between Nathaniel and Bryn. "What the hell is your problem, Nathaniel? We're here to help you." "Well maybe I don't want your help." "And what are we supposed to do? Sit by and watch the best thing that's happened to you in a long time self-destruct?" "What do you think you're going to do for me, Anton? I offered her everything--I told her I'd do anything she wanted me to. And she left. She got up, stomped out of the room and out the door. I've always given her what she wanted, but it wasn't good enough! She doesn't want me touching her. So I offered to move out of our bedroom, and she got all pissed off about that, too! She wants me to just lay there like some fucking eunuch and pretend I don't have any God damned emotions. So I said 'fine, I'll do it'. I gave her exactly what she wanted, and she walked. Why don't you go talk to her about it? Ask her what the hell I'm supposed to do, because I sure as hell don't know!" "And so that's it. You're just going to let her go." He had seen this once before, and then the results had been disastrous. "Am I going to come home one night to find out you've borrowed my horse again for a midnight ride?" Nate let out a bitter laugh. "You really don't think very much of me, do you, Anton? You didn't even seem to notice that I said she left *me*. I'm not walking away from anything. She knows where to find me. She obviously doesn't want me right now. So that's fine, I'll wait. I'll wait until she get it into her head that I'm not the enemy here. I don't know about you, but I think I'll be waiting a long time." He turned around, heading for the bread box on the counter. He pulled out the loaf of bread and untied the bag, adding, "It is interesting to know that you don't think I've changed at all from when I was 22 years old. Thank you so much for the faith in me, *brother*." Anton's eyes narrowed, but kept from lashing out. He knew that Nathaniel was hurting, and he was just a convenient target. "Okay, fine. You clearly don't want our help. Bryn and I will go home and leave you here to your misery." He turned around to start out of the kitchen. "But if you change your mind, we're here. Or if you need someone to watch Liam. Or someone to talk to Lindy.'' "I'll keep that in mind," Nate said, still facing away from them. He resisted the urge to say something else snarky, and remained standing there until he heard the door swing shut behind them. The hand he had holding his slice of bread balled into a fist, squishing the soft white bread into a compact ball. Turning suddenly, he threw it across the room, watching it hit with surprising force against the opposite cupboard and then bounce to the floor. Muttering to himself, he said, "I'm so glad I invited everyone to live here. Wonder who else I could find to stab me in the back." 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