Chapter Ninety Anton pulled into the garage, wondering why he hadn't seen the lights for the living room on. he closed the car door and went into the hallway. The kitchen appeared to be dark as well. Reaching for the light, he tripped over one of the bar stools. Now becoming concerned, he called out. "Bryn?" "Upstairs," came the weak response. Anton hurried towards the stairwell and on up to their bedroom. He found her in their bedroom, curled up in a fetal position on her side. She was shivering and sweating, clutching the comforter, a large metal bowl from the kitchen sitting nearby. Anton knelt down beside her, reaching out to feel her forehead. She was hot to the touch. "What's wrong, Bryn?" "I don't feel good," she said, whispering, as if it hurt to speak loudly. "What hurts?" "Everything. My head is pounding, I'm nauseated, my joints ache. I feel like I might throw up, but nothing has happened yet. My stomach just keeps rolling and clenching...and even worse, I have diarrhea." She knew she might've blushed at that last word, but she was already so hot she couldn't tell if her cheeks got any warmer. "I'm so cold." He looked around the room, noticing that the baby monitor was turned off. "Where's Max?" "I called Jess to get him." He was about to chide her and ask why she hadn't called him to come home even earlier. But it was probably wise for her to send Max over to Jess's. Less chance that he would pick up something from his mother. Or him acting as carrier. He gently stroked back her hair from her damp forehead. "Do you think you could handle some crackers and Seven Up? Or some chicken broth?" Shivering heavily, she pulled the blankets tighter around her. "Maybe some crackers and Seven Up. I don't know if I'll be able to keep anything down." She reached for his wrist, holding his hand against her face. "Thank you for coming home. I don't feel any better physically, but I'm more reassured when you're here." "You're welcome, my dear. I wish I had known. I would have been back sooner." He gently squeezed her hand. Seeing how miserable she looked, he was glad that vampires didn't catch the flu. "Let me go get some crackers for you, my dear. I'll also call Jess and check on Max. Is there anything else you want?" Her eyes filled with tears. Her head hurt so much she wanted to sob. "Just you. I know it's probably not the most appealing idea to lay down next to someone who's all sweaty and likely to puke at any second, but I think I'd feel better if you held me. You don't have to get under the covers or anything. I just want you here with me." He nodded. "Let me go get you the crackers first." He bent down and kissed her hot forehead before dashing downstairs. Ransacking a few cabinets and raiding the refrigerator, he turned up a box of crackers, and a few cans of soda. He quickly returned to find Bryn in much the same position he left her. But first he detoured to the bathroom and damped a washcloth with cold water. Going back to the bedroom, he opened the can of soda and placed a straw in it. Leaving it besides the crackers on the table next to the bed, he knelt down and gently blotted at Bryn's forehead and face. Although it wasn't as nearly a serious situation, he couldn't help but be reminded of when he nursed Diane through her last days. She closed her eyes, still laboring for breath. She could only seem to pull in little breaths at a time without her stomach turning yet again. Part of her wondered if she shouldn't just relieve him of duty and go sleep in the guest room instead. He probably didn't really want to sleep in the same bed with a sick person--she didn't really want to sleep with herself, either. The sheets around her felt damp, even though she'd put on a nightgown before Jess showed up. She couldn't stop shaking, and the fact that she had to run to the bathroom often didn't help either. If she started retching in the middle of the day, he really wouldn't want to be around her. "I can sleep in the other room if you want me to...I don't want to keep you awake all day." "No, it's okay, Bryn." He gently rearranged the pillows so they were more firmly under her head. "I'm going to let everyone know I'll be working from here tomorrow so I can keep an eye on you." Walking around to the other side of the bed, he kicked off his shoes and climbed on top gingerly, not wanting to add to her discomfort. "I'll be right here for you, Bryn." She sniffled, rubbing her cheek against the pillow. She couldn't think of much else to say. Possibly 'you don't have to,' but she knew he wouldn't listen to that. Besides, someone would have to watch over Max and she couldn't do it. Shivering again, she decided to try to get some sleep. At least then he wouldn't have to stay if he didn't want to. He gently stroked her hair, offering her the warmth of his body. Although he thought from how much she was sweating she really didn't need it. Reaching for the phone, he dialed the office and called his secretary, leaving her a voicemail. She had been out for the day too - apparently also ill with the flu. So to be safe, he called a few other employees, sure somebody would be there. After he hung up the phone, Bryn opened her eyes. "Anton...I'm honestly not feeling very attractive right now, and I can't imagine that you want to sit here and watch me be sick all night long. So if you have something else to do, or would rather be downstairs or something, you can go ahead and go. I'll be fine." She licked her dry lips. "You could probably go pick up Max. I don't think he'll get sick." "I'll go check on him in a bit. Right now I want to take care of you." He gently stroked her hair back from her head. "I just want to make sure you're okay." She let out a sigh, turning over carefully to face him. Pressing her forehead against his chest, she clutched him to her. Somehow she'd reverted to old habits--thinking that just because there was something wrong with her, he wouldn't want her. Wouldn't want to be with her. Somewhere her logic had told her that even though he would love her forever, that didn't mean he'd always be attracted to her...or even *like* her. Pushing the hated thoughts away, she held him tighter. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to push you away. I just feel...gross." "It's okay, Bryn." He gently continued stroking her hair. "I know you're not feeling good. I just want to know if there's anything I can do to make you feel better." Since he no longer got sick, he wasn't sure exactly how to help her. She closed her eyes, snuggling tight against him, feeling better just from his touch. "Just hold me, please. I love you so much, and you always make me feel better. I just want to be with you...please, until I fall asleep?" "Of course, my dear. Of course." Resting his back against the headboard he moved her around until she settled with her head was resting against his thigh. Still lightly stroking her hair, he slowly, softly began singing a Russian lullaby that Katerina used to sing to comfort him. She softly smiled, enchanted by the song and his deep voice. And although she wanted to hear every word, she was asleep before he even reached the second verse. She woke several more times during the early morning, mostly because of being uncomfortable but also to eat. He brought her a small bowl of soup and more crackers, both of which she managed to keep down. She remembered barely opening her eyes at one point to see him holding Max, feeding the baby from his finger. But after that, she didn't wake again until late afternoon. Opening her eyes, she blinked a few times. Feeling the sheets, she was glad to realize that they were dry this time. Her nightgown was gross however, bunching around her hips, and she twisted around to remove it, tossing it to the floor. Her headache was gone. That realization came as a surprise, but a welcome one. And although she was still feeling a little warm, her stomach wasn't rolling. In fact, she felt a little hungry. Turning her head, a slight dizzy sensation making her wince, she saw Anton lying on his side next to her. He was under the covers, sound asleep, his hand resting on her hip. Bryn smiled. Scooting back against him, she slid her hand over his, lacing their fingers together. Anton let out a soft sigh, squeezing her fingers before he was fully awake. His eye slid open and he smiled. Bryn already looked like she was feeling better. And her skin felt cool and dry to his touch, not hot and sweaty like it had earlier. "Feeling better, my dear?" "A little bit. But I always seem to feel better when I wake up than at bedtime, when I'm sick. Hopefully it won't come back in the morning." She settled her back against his chest, letting out a soft moan as she basked in his warmth. "My joints still hurt a little bit, but at least my head isn't pounding. Thank you for taking care of me, sugar. You were here every time I opened my eyes." "You'd do the same for me, my dear." He kissed her temple, wrapping his arms around her. "Walter sent over Amanda to watch Max while I'm taking care of you. He's been fed and changed, and was last taking a nap when I checked on him." He gently squeezed her hand again. "Would you like to take a shower, my dear?" She smiled softly. "That sounds nice. Will you come with me?" Anton kissed her temple again. "Of course, my dear." He peeled the sheets off of their bodies, making a mental note to strip the bed. Watching her carefully for any sign of wobbliness, he got out of bed as well and followed her to the bathroom. Once their, he started the shower, waiting for the water to heat up slightly. once it was at the right temperature, he stripped off the sweatpants he had been wearing and offered Bryn his hand. She quietly reached for him, curling her fingers around his, and stepped under the warm spray. Shuddering lightly, she pressed her hands against the wall, letting the water wet her hair until it stuck like a black curtain to her back. He'd kept the temperature low, to keep from overheating her, and it felt just right. Sliding down her skin vast rivulets until he entered the shower stall behind her. Turning to face him, she shivered slightly from the breeze as the door swept shut. For a moment, she wished their two person shower was smaller...so she had an excuse to stand close to him. "Thank you for taking care of me last night." "You're welcome, my dear." He stepped up close to her so that he was getting wet as well. She still looked a little shaky and pale, but Bryn still looked much, much better than she had the night before. He grabbed a washcloth and a bar of soap. "Let me wash you, Bryn?" he asked, lathering up the washcloth. When she nodded, he gently began running the washcloth over her shoulders and arms. She swallowed, stepping closer to him, until she could feel her breath returning to her from the proximity of his chest. The touch of his hands, the soapy cloth on her skin, felt wonderful. But she was still reluctant to ask for more. Maybe it was because of her feeling ill and unattractive...but she wondered if there was more. Pressing her forehead against his shoulder, she lightly gripped his waist. "Anton, would you tell me if you were getting bored? If our relationship got too familiar and you were feeling restless?" He raised an eyebrow, a bit surprised by her question. "Yes, I would tell you if I were getting bored, my dear." He stepped a bit closer to her so he could feel the heat radiating off of her body as he lightly scrubbed her upper chest. "We have so much to experience together, Bryn, between just us. The adventure of raising kids. Traveling over the world. Transforming you. Not to mention trying out every position in the Kama Sutra. So I wouldn't be concerned about me being bored for at least...oh I'd say 700 years. And by then I'm sure there will be something that will cause me to fall in love with you all over again." The hand holding the washcloth strayed downwards until he was cupping her breast. "If you're not feeling up to this Bryn, I'll stop," he whispered in her ear before kissing her. Bryn let her eyes slip closed, lightly kissing him in return. Her hands tightened on his waist before sliding around to grip his back, pulling herself tightly against him. She let out a soft whimper as he pushed his tongue into her mouth, meeting it with her own, growing a bit more excited with every second. When he finally pulled back to look at her, she was panting through her open mouth. Eyes heavy-lidded and slightly unfocused. "I love you, Anton." "I love you too, Bryn." he gently rubbed the washcloth across her breast, teasing her nipple with the terry cloth. His other hand matched his motions on her other breast, watching her face intently before swooping in for another kiss. It was times like this he wish he had a third hand he could use to wrap around her waist, so instead he contented himself with pressing her against the tile wall of the shower with his body. She moaned softly, sliding her hands down his back to squeeze his ass, lightly scraping her fingernails over his flesh. His erection was growing, nestled against her hip, and she couldn't help but squirm against him. When she couldn't stand it any longer, she reached for his cock, lightly running her fingertips up the underside, holding him firmly in her fist. She didn't give him any further stimulation yet, even though she wanted to. She wanted him inside her even more. He shivered in her grip, not daring to move for a moment. He had intended to make this last longer, but the silk of her skin against him made his desire flame. With a soft moan he put his arms around her waist and lifted her up, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his waist. "I want you, Bryn." He ran his nose along the curve of her cheek. "But only if you feel well enough." She nodded, looking down between them to watch as he guided his cock in place and pushed inside her. He looked and felt so large, stretching her deliciously. She let out a soft whimper, opening herself to him little by little, tightening around him intermittently, until he was sheathed completely. Wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders, she pressed her cheek to his ear. "Don't move yet, sugar. You feel so good. God, I missed making love with you this morning. Mmm...I think about this moment all night." He let out a soft moan, pressing her harder against the wall. Anton bit the inside of his lip, eyes shut in an effort to maintain control. He pressed his lips first to her forehead and then worked his way by feel down her nose to her lips. Gently he nudged them open with his tongue until it was sheathed in her mouth. He cradled her head in one hand, the other still wrapped around her waist, as he kissed her thoroughly. She kissed him back hungrily, tightening her legs around him. His cock felt so good, and despite her need to hold still she started lightly rocking her hips against him. Sucking on his tongue, she moaned as he started flexing his hips, firmly thrusting his cock inside her. Pulling away from his kiss, she gasped, looking down to watch them, her eyes dilating at the sight. His thrusts opened her, exposing her swollen clit, which was delicately brushed by his pubic hair, making her quiver. He kept his movements slow and even. Each breath was exhaled with a slight snort, almost making it sound like he was growling softly. His eyes were locked on her sex, watching her glisten. He could feel the warmth of the water running down his back, but it was nothing compared to the warmth surrounding his cock. Each breath was accompanied with a breathy exhale. "You...feel...wonderful...Bryn." Panting, she tilted her hips forward, making the stimulation on her clit even firmer. "Oh sugar...you make me...feel good." She squeezed her inner muscles, tightening around him until they both gasped. Sliding her fingers into his hair, she pulled him to her and kissed him again. Sucking avidly on his lower lip. Anton let out a low moan. He did his best to keep his movements slow and steady. He didn't want to push Bryn too much. But the feeling of her tugging and nipping on his lip almost caused him to lose control. He put a hand to their groins and flicked his finger lightly over her clit, barely brushing it. Sabryn gasped, letting her head fall back against the shower wall. She didn't let her gaze waver from his face, watching the subtle shift in his emotions and the expression he wore. Watching him want her and need her. Keeping her legs tight around him, she slid her hands down to his chest, using her thumbs to rub over his nipples, drawing gentle circles around the taut flesh. His thrusts came faster, his finger moving more firmly against her. He bit his lip in an attempt to keep from cumming. The tingling was building in his groin, but he held back, watching her every moment as she writhed against him. Anton let out a groan when her legs tightened around him even more. Squealing, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, trying her hardest to thrust her hips against his. He felt so good filling her, she couldn't catch her breath. When he started moving even faster, slamming his hips into hers, she gasped, clamping down tightly around his cock and shuddering into orgasm. "Oh oh ohhhh! Mmm An-ton!" He watched her face, fascinated at the expression on her face. Then he gave in and gave one final shove before exploding inside of her. "Sabryn!" Panting, he pinned her against the wall, holding her in place for a few minutes. Looking into her eyes, he kissed her, caressing her tongue with his. Taking a deep breath, he stepped back and let her feet slide to the floor. But he was surprised when she continued to sink down to the wet floor. "Bryn?" he said, concerned that she was passing out. "Shh..." She looked up and held his gaze as she settled on her knees. Water drizzled down his legs as she grabbed his thighs, straightening up as tall as she could, and carefully sucked his sensitive cock into her mouth. She heard him gasp, bracing his arms against the wall and leaning in to the sensation. Rolling her tongue around his glans, she carefully cleaned him, tasting their passion on his skin. As much as she knew they both should get cleaned up, she didn't want their lovemaking to end so quickly. If she had anything to say about it, he'd be inside her again before they ever left the bathroom. His breath coming in heavy gusts, Anton leaned his head against the shower wall as Bryn continued to suck on his cock. Eyes shut, he couldn't help but give shallow thrusts of his hips. Bryn definitely seemed to be feeling better, if her actions were any indication. Keeping his eyes shut and trying to moderate his breathing, he dropped a hand down to gently caress the top and sides of Bryn's head. She let out at soft moan, pulling more of his shaft into her mouth. They tasted so good together, and her suction became stronger the more she sampled. Reaching around from behind, she gently cradled his balls, using her thumb to rub the sack, feeling him jump at her touch. He was stiffening more in her mouth with every lap of her tongue. Anton continued to move slowly, being careful not to choke Bryn. "God, Bryn! You are incredible!" It amazed him sometimes that he was able to react to her so quickly. Her gentle touches along his perineum enflamed his desire. With a light brush against his anus, and one last long pull on his cock with her mouth, she stood up and wrapped her finger around his shaft, gently pumping him in time to his thrusts. Standing up on tiptoes, she hungrily kissed his mouth. Letting him taste their orgasms on her tongue. Millimeters from his lips, she whispered, "Let me wash you?" He nodded dumbly. He would have walked into the sunlight if she had asked, especially if she was grasping his cock in the maddening rhythm she performing on him. He was a bit surprised when she took the washcloth he had somehow managed to hold on to the whole time from him. Lathering it up, she scrubbed his chest, paying particular attention to his suddenly very sensitive nipples. She continued to watch his face, rubbing her belly back and forth against his cock. It was amazing to see how much power she could exert over him with just a touch...although not so surprising when she reminded herself of the effect he had on her, as well. Pressing her lips to his shoulder, she rubbed the terry cloth in small circles over his chest before moving to wash under his arm. She found herself pushing the cloth away more often than not, skimming her fingertips over his flesh instead. He moaned again, sensations pushing him past words. He felt Bryn slowly trace down his sides and slide over his abdomen. He twitched his ticklish muscles, making Bryn giggle. She continued her explorations lightly, and Anton shuddered. "I want you," he whispered. She gave a soft shudder of her own at his words. "Soon, sugar. I promise." She wanted so badly to throw the washcloth to the floor and Anton along with it, mounting him under the steady spray of the shower heads. Instead, she decided to finish washing him, stepping around behind him and kissing his shoulder blades, as she lowered her soapy washcloth to gently cleanse his cock and balls. Although she washed him thoroughly, she was careful to keep her touch light, making sure he wouldn't cum before she wanted him to. "You're so beautiful, Anton. You make my breath catch every time you walk in the room. But I think the sexiest part of you has to be your heart, and the way that you love me. I love the way you love me." He turned his head to look at her over his shoulder. "My dear goddess of my heart and keeper of my soul." She had neatly turned the tables on him, exploring his body like he had intended to hers. Turning fully around to watch her, he gently stroked his hand down her cheek. "I don't know how you do it, Bryn. Just when I think I know you inside and out, there is something new to explore and I find myself loving you even more." He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. She shivered, lifting her free hand to cup the back of his neck, kissing him eagerly. Her soapy washcloth traced around his hip, her hand lightly squeezing his ass, then dipped between the cheeks of his ass, first delicately probing his anus and then scrubbing gently over his perineum. She felt him jerk his hips before pushing back against the sensation, letting out a low moan. Pulling away from his lips with a soft suctioned pop, she met his heavy-lidded gaze. "Like what, sugar? What did you find that's new?" "Well, let's see." He gently brushed her hair back from her neck. "There's this mole just below your hairline." Anton leaned forward and kissed the small mark just behind her ear. "There's the depth of your compassion. I wouldn't have gone to see Lindy during the day." He nipped at her earlobe, rubbing his cock against her belly. She dropped the washcloth to the floor, hearing it land with a sodden slap, splashing water on their feet. Clutching his shoulders, she pressed herself tightly against, whimpering at the feel of his cock, feeling herself get wet. "Sugar...I want you." She shifted, squirming against him. "Will take me back to the bed, and hold my legs up really high and wide, and fuck me until I scream?" "Yessss..." he hissed in her ear. Reaching behind him, he shut off the water and opened the shower door. The pent up steam billowed out into the bathroom, making it look like they were surrounded by a cloud. He took her hand and pulled her out of the shower, grabbing a towel to wrap around her body and wipe off some of the moisture. Or that was the excuse he used to rub his hands over he breasts and back. Bryn didn't need an excuse. Her wet skin plastered against his, she opened her mouth over his nipple and sucked firmly. She whimpered at the feel of his hands squeezing her ass, her breasts, her pubic mound. Reminded of her earlier wish, she tried to climb his body, letting out a moan of approval as he lifted her, centering herself over his cock. She held on tightly with one arm, feeling him start walking, and used her other hand to guide his hard cock inside her. "Ohhh God that feels so good!" "Uuuggghhh!" Anton bit his lip trying to keep from cumming. Quickly he walked to their bed and lowered her down on the mattress. Still standing, he obeyed her request and held her legs wide apart as he began to thrust into her. "So hot, so wet..." His breath was coming in harsh gasps. "I want to see you touch yourself, Bryn." Bryn tossed her head, panting heavily. The way he was holding her legs made her feel dirty, and made her sex feel incredibly tight wrapped around him. With the forcefulness of his thrusts, she knew it wouldn't be long before they both came. Slipping her hand between her legs, she slid her fingers under his cock, gathering her moisture, before rubbing her clit in rapid circles, her thighs shaking violently at the intense sensation. Anton groaned at the sight. Shaking as well, his thrusts became harder as her fingers moved faster and faster over her clit. "You are so incredibly sexy, Bryn." He leaned over her and started to kiss her, pulling her lower lip into his mouth as he sucked hard. She clutched his shoulder, bending awkwardly forward to kiss him in return as she kept her fingers busy. His every thrust knocked the breath out of her, making her exhale in sharp gusts. But she didn't care that she couldn't breathe--nothing had felt so damned good in a long time. It was so good she was quivering, so good her muscles seemed to continuously suck his cock...so good she squealed, throwing her head back, her whole body bucking beneath him as shook into an amazingly powerful orgasm, her scream shrill in the open room. "Uhh...aahhhhhhh!!" He gave one last hard thrust before adding his voice to hers. He exploded inside of her, jetting his semen deep into her. Colored stars lit up behind his closed eyelids. Slowly he sank down on her body, air hissing out of his lungs. "That was wonderful, my dear." He nuzzled the side of her face, lips brushing her cheek. "I love you, Bryn." She whimpered, still squeezing his cock inside her, continuing to ride her high. Wrapping her arms tightly around him, she kissed him thoroughly. Squeezing his ass. "I love you so much, baby...God, you made me feel so good. I think I could probably cum again." She grinned at him, then kissed him again. Anton grinned. "So you think you could, could you?" He was too flaccid to do anything at the moment, but he did reach between her legs and caressed her clit. ''I'd like to see that, my dear. You are absolutely gorgeous when you cum." He continued to touch her, watching her avidly and kissing her temple. She watched as well, through heavy eyelids, as he touched her wet sex. She was still very aroused, the small bud of her clit peeking out from under its hood, seeking his fingers, and swelling with each gentle brush. Moaning softly, she rotated her hips, feeling a small gush of hot fluid leave her vaginal opening, unsure of whether it was his semen, her juices, or both. Most likely both. Panting softly, she opened her legs wider, holding her thighs with both hands. "Oh God, sugar...my clit hurts, it aches...oooh ooh fuck me with your fingers, lick my clit, oh please lick my little clit...I wanna cum for you, baby." Anton moaned and pulled out of her, frantically kissing his way down her body. He slowly pushed two fingers into her sex, gasping at how tightly she gripped them. Blowing softly and making her squirm, he teased her clit before giving it little flicks with the tip of his tongue before licking a broad stripe over it. Bryn squealed, lifting her hips against his mouth. Her nipples felt as hard as rocks, and she arched her neck, moaning almost continuously, as he teased her. She tightened around his fingers, gushing moisture. What she really wanted was for him to fuck her one more time, but she knew it had to be too soon. Still, his tongue was definitely nothing to complain about. Enchanted by her taste, he continued to lap her. Working his free hand under her ass, he lifted her up, leaving her unable to squirm. Also leaving him to move and lick exactly where he wanted without her being able to move. Anton continued to lap at her in slow even strokes, moaning lightly so she could feel the vibrations. Bryn fisted her hands in the bed spread, trying to twist against his grip. She could feel every little taste bud on his tongue, like little scrubbers against her sensitive clit. Her sex fluttered around his fingers, gripping and releasing, trying to suck the digits even deeper inside her. As he began to speed up the movements of his hand in response, and gave her firmer strokes with his tongue, she screeched, shuddering vibrantly into orgasm. He continued to lap at her until he felt her orgasm begin to subside. Fingers still tucked deep inside of her, he lowered her hips back to the bed. Regretfully, he slid his fingers out of her sex. he lifted them to his mouth and licked off every last trace of her flavor before lowering himself down beside her. On his side, Anton leaned a bit over to kiss her. "I love you, Bryn." Bryn rolled on to her side to face him, wrapping her arms tightly around him. She felt hot and exhausted, but had a smile on her face. "I love you too, Anton. I love you very much." As her breathing started to return to normal, she pulled back slightly to look him in the eye. "What do you say we go get Max and then curl up in bed in the guest room? I'm really tired and I don't feel like changing our sheets right now. I think we could both use a little more sleep." Anton stroked her cheek, brushing back her hair from her face. Her skin still felt cool to the touch, and she definitely seemed to have made a quick recovery. "That sounds good to me, my dear. Let's get you set up, and then I'll go over and get Max. And then we can all spend the day snuggled together." She smiled, then leaned in close to give him a lingering kiss. "I feel very spoiled to have you here with me tonight. Makes me think I should get sick more often." She smiled again, even as he frowned at her words. Smoothing the lines away from his forehead, she added, "I'm spoiled by every moment I spend with you. Forever isn't even long enough." He caught her hand in his. "You're right about that, my dear." He pressed his lips to her fingers. "And you spoil me as well, Bryn. You've give me so many gifts, the most important two being Max and your love." He kissed her hand one more time, and then her mouth. "And like you said, forever won't be long enough. They sat quietly on the couch, nervousness making them clutch each other's hand tightly. Bryn had been correct about her fever--it did return just before bedtime, but was gone again when she woke. On the third day, it was gone entirely. The following evening, sitting in Jess's living room, she felt almost normal. With the exception of her sweaty palms. She wanted to pull Anton closer, to cradle him against her chest, but she knew he was probably too rigid to move. When Mulder first suggested the group counseling session, she thought it was a bad idea. Although Mulder had reassured them that Anton could just listen instead of participate, she thought the emotions involved might just be too strong to bear--for her or Anton, she wasn't so sure. Still, listening to Jess, Alex, and possibly Lindy, talk about their past sexual abuse would help Anton realize he wasn't alone. It was for that reason she urged him to agree. The final decision had been his. Squeezing his hand, she gave him a reassuring smile. Then leaned close to whisper, "If this becomes too much, we can leave. Don't stay just because I asked you to come." Anton nodded, not quite trusting himself to speak yet. The stubborn, prideful part of him didn't want to give into the scared child telling him to get the hell out of there. And he still would have bolted, if the werewolves hadn't acted like it was just normal. After leaving Max with Chandra and Amanda, he had been greeted by Walter, who acted like they were just gathering to watch a movie. The only slight acknowledgment that this was a counseling session was that the furniture had bee arranged in a rough circle. Jess, Walter and Alex lounged on the larger of the two couches; he and Bryn the smaller. The recliners had been placed side by side, and the oversized computer chair wheeled out from the den, which Mulder was now occupied. "We'll start in a few minutes when...oh. Here they are now." Anton turned to see Lindy coming through the doorway. And his heart skipped a beat when he realized that Nathaniel was with her. The younger vampire would be curious, and would probably ask why Anton had chosen to attend when it became clear that he wasn't there because of Bryn. Now he wasn't sure that he could go through with this. Bryn noticed Nate at the same time Anton did. Swallowing heavily, she watched as her brother-in-law and Lindy sat down. She was almost certain Anton couldn't feel her grip on him now. Not with Nate in the room. Mulder certainly hadn't mentioned this. Not even Nate was certain why he was there, other than being a support for Lindy. He hadn't been told why they were gathering as a group, but it was starting to worry him. Everyone looked so serious. And he wasn't at all thrilled with suddenly being the center of attention. He let out a quiet sigh as they sat down and the other's gazes shifted to Mulder. Lindy raised her eyebrows slightly and looked to Jess who shook her head. Taking her cue from her mother, she didn't comment on Anton and Bryn's presence. She turned her attention to Mulder as he began speaking. "Thank you all for coming. I know this isn't easy for any of you," Mulder began. "The reason I suggested this group session is that a lot of times, sexual abuse survivors are used to working through things alone, they become isolated. It helps to have a reminder that they aren't the only ones going through this. There's just a few ground rules," he said for the benefit of Nate, Anton, and Bryn. "No one is to judge anyone because of anything said. Also, no one is obligated to participate. So with that out of the way, let's get started." He leaned back in the chair. "Jess, let's start with you." Jess was wedged between Walter and the edge of the couch. She appeared at first glance to be relaxed, but a second look revealed some tension in her shoulders. "A couple of months ago, Nate killed Jake Farnsworth. I found out about it after the fact, and I told myself that it didn't bother me that he was living so close, but I didn't have a clue." She shook her head in a self-depreciating way. "Never did convince myself." "Out of sight, out of mind?" She nodded. "I thought so." "Hearing he was killed must've brought back a lot of memories for you. Did you ever resent Nate for what he did?" She frowned, shaking her head. "No, of course not. It was just a shock. I didn't understand why he would do that." Mulder turned his attention to Nate. "Why did you?" "Because she's my family." Nate swallowed, staring at his hands, all too aware that everyone was staring at him. "I was very close to my own mother, but I never felt that I had enough time with her. Jess is my mother now, and I'd do anything to protect her. The idea that...Farnsworth was walking around free didn't make me feel good about the safety of my family. I wanted to protect Jess and my wife. I'm sorry that I unintentionally hurt Jess...but I'm not sorry for what I did." Mulder nodded. He looked over to Alex and Walter. "And do you have any problems with what Nate did?' "I think I can also speak for Alex," Walter said, "when I say the only thing we wish he had done was include us." Mulder nodded. "So you're dealing with it now, Jess?" The female werewolf nodded. "I ran from it for about a day and then realized it was me playing the victim again. And I refuse to do that any more." Mulder nodded. "Good." Looking to Alex, he said, "Jess isn't the only one in your relationship who has had a past assault. You were raped by another male werewolf, correct?" Alex nodded, and Nate couldn't help but stare in shock. He'd had no idea. Alex was a very tough individual. He couldn't image that the man had ever been vulnerable...especially not to a rape. "How did you feel when you heard about Jake Farnsworth's death, Alex? Did it bring up personal issues?" "No." That earned him a sharp look from both Jess and Walter. "Well, yes," he corrected. Talking about it wasn't easy for him in front of the vampires. "I felt like I failed to protect Jess." "But you didn't know her when she was attacked," Mulder pointed out "Is it really her you're talking about?" Alex looked like he wasn't going to answer that one. "No. I wasn't able to protect myself. To keep him from either raping or Changing me." Anton watched impassively, but inside he was stunned. He had thought at first that Jess had Changed both Walter and Alex out of a desire to have werewolf mates. Although he had been surprised to learn that Walter's was an accident by a strange werewolf, he hadn't thought to question Alex's, even after learning that he also had been assaulted. His hand on Bryn's gripped tighter. [Does Nathaniel consider what I did to him an assault?] The very idea sickened him. Nate noticed Anton looking at him. The haunted look on his brother's face disturbed him. He could easily understand the shock and dismay he might've felt when hearing about Alex's rape, but he wasn't quite sure why his brother seemed to be taking it so personally. Maybe he was closer to the man than Nate realized. Given Anton's relationship with Lindy, he wouldn't really be surprised. Still, it didn't quite explain the depth of his emotions. Mulder kept close eye on Anton as he questioned the others. he was hoping that the older vampire was starting to feel at ease, but if Anton's body language was any hint, he was just as tense as when he began. He wasn't certain that he'd be able to draw Anton out, no matter how much he tried. He turned back to Alex. "It must be hard living with what was done to you." Alex nodded in agreement. "I try to keep in mind the positives. But I do tend to be overprotective," he added with a slightly apologetic look in Lindy's direction. She shrugged her shoulders. "At least I know you care about me, Alex. I think I tended to annoyed a lot, but when I reminded myself that you were only trying to watch out for me, it made me feel very loved." She looked at him with vivid blue eyes, trying to express her gratitude. "I just wish neither of us had ever felt the need to be so cautious...that we'd never gone through what we did." He couldn't take it any more. Anton stood up, not caring that everyone was staring at him. He knew what was coming -- everyone was sharing and sooner or later they would be asking him. And he wasn't ready to talk in a group setting. "I...can't,' he said, looking over the group. "I'm sorry," he mumbled before walking out of the room. He forced himself to stay at a walk and not run into the night. And he knew that Bryn would be following him shortly. Part of his mind was accusing him of being a coward, but he wasn't listening. Bryn stood up, casting an apologetic look at Mulder. "I should...I should get Max and go. I'm sorry we're leaving so abruptly." Pulling on her windbreaker, she stepped around the couch and walked to the back door, not bothering with more of an explanation, as she went to the guest house to pick up Max. Chandra looked a little surprised to see her back so quickly, but didn't push the issue. "I didn't unpack the diaper bag...everything is still in there," she said, handing it over as Bryn picked up her baby from the couch. "He was still sleeping until you knocked on the door. I'm sorry I didn't have time to change him." "That's okay, Chandra. Thank you. I'll call you a little bit later." Holding Max to her chest, she slung the diaper bag over her shoulder and headed out the door. When she rounded Jess's home and stepped on to the sidewalk, she didn't see Anton. Heading home, she quickened her step a bit, nervous to be walking alone in the dark. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard a voice behind her. "What's going on?" "God, Nate! You scared me to death!" She swallowed heavily, wondering how he'd approached almost soundlessly. It didn't make her feel any better about walking home. "Why did Anton leave?" She continued walking, hoping he'd get the hint. "I'm going to find that out myself." She glanced at him, annoyed that he was still walking along side her. "Look, I'm sure he's fine. I'll have him call you later." He narrowed his eyes, then glanced back at Jess's home. It was obvious he didn't want to just leave Lindy and Liam. "You don't know what's going on?" "Nate, it's not my place to tell you. I'll have him call you." Nate stopped in his tracks. "He's my brother, damn it! I have a right to know what's going on." Bryn kept right on walking. "No, you don't. Not unless he wants you to know. Go back to Lindy, Nathaniel. I'll find Anton myself." "I'm over here." Anton had heard Bryn and Nathaniel talking as they came closer. He hadn't gone into the house, Despite not being able to handle the group session, he really didn't want to be alone. So he had waited outside for Bryn to arrive. He stepped down from the porch where he had been waiting to greet Bryn. And if Nathaniel was curious about why he left, well, he'd have to wait for answers, if he gave him any. He walked over to Bryn and put his arm around her shoulder, face impassive. "Why don't you take Max inside where it's warm, Bryn?" She glanced back at Nate, brushing away the wisps of hair that had escaped her ponytail. He didn't look like he was inclined to leave. Turning her attention back to Anton, she kept her voice low. "Are you all right? Maybe you should come in with me. You can talk to Nate later." "I'm okay, Bryn." He could tell by the look on her face that she didn't believe him. And he actually didn't believe himself either. "Let me talk to Nathaniel for a moment and then I'll be inside." He was relieved when Bryn nodded. "Thank you," he sad and kissed her on the forehead. He watched Bryn turn and take Max inside. He took a deep breath and turned back to face his brother, arms crossed over his chest. "What did you want, Nathaniel?" Nate frowned at his defensive posture. "I want to know what's going on. First you're at this group counseling session, and I have no idea why...then you run out of there like your ass is on fire. Now Bryn is acting like she has top secret information and would rather shoot me than tell me what it is. So are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on?" "I was there because I was asked to be. And I left because I wasn't comfortable with what was going on." Half the truth wasn't a lie he told himself. "I was there because I thought I was something I needed to attempt. And I wasn't up to the challenge." Nate scowled. "Fine. I don't know why I expected you to tell me anything--that would be entirely out of character for you." He turned around and started back towards Jess's home. "Fuck me for caring." "Fine, Nathaniel. You want to know the hell I was doing there? I'll tell you." He waited until Nate turned around to face him. "I was there because it happened to me too. It was not at the hands of a supposed lover like Jess, or when I was made something other than human like Alex, or repeatedly like Lindy, but it happened to me too." Nate stared at him. Deep down, he knew that would be Anton's response--it was the only one that made sense. And he suddenly hated himself for pushing so hard. It would've been easier to pretend it wasn't true if he'd never heard the words. Now, he couldn't just walk away like he wanted to. Throat incredibly tight with dread, he said, "When?" "When I was eight years old," Anton responded. As if his weight was too much to bear, he sat down on the steps to the house. "I..I was a mere child, unable to stop him." He wasn't sure how much he should tell Nathaniel, if he should avoid the topic of his bastard birth. "Ivan stopped him, but not before..." He halted and then forced himself to continue. "Ivan told me not to speak of it to anyone. And I didn't. Until recently." Nate felt the need to sit down himself, his knees weakening, but it didn't feel right to encroach on Anton's space just then. "I--I'm sorry, Anton. I had no idea. I shouldn't have forced that out of you." He ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know what to say." Anton sighed. "I...I couldn't stay. I knew that Mulder would eventually ask me a question that I wouldn't want to answer. So I had to get out there." Crossed arms resting on his knees, he stared at a spot on the ground a few feet in front of Nathaniel. "Bryn knows the details. Mulder some of them, and Alex knows something happened. No one else living knows about it." "Ivan's dead, Anton. You don't have to keep it a secret anymore." He blinked a few times, thinking. "Mulder wanted you there to hear the others, to hear their stories. To know you weren't the only one. What does that mean to you? Is it any comfort?" "I don't know, Nathaniel. I just don't know." He passed his hand over his face, as if trying to wipe away his tiredness. "Part of me says that it happened so long ago that it shouldn't be a big deal. It's over and done with. And yet another part of me can't seem to let it go." Nate let out a soft sigh. "I don't think it matters whether you rent a billboard to say it or never mention it to another person again. But I do think you should keep talking to Mulder. He's helped Lindy a lot. I'm sure he'll eventually be able to do the same for you." "I don't know, Nathaniel. I just seem to feel worse after talking to him." He really didn't want to discuss this with Nathaniel. He really didn't want to discuss this, period. But still, it was a relief of sorts that it was out in the open. "Lindy's probably wondering what happened. Go on back to her. I'll be fine." Nate shoved his hands in his pockets; for some reason Anton's dismissal of him made him feel like a boy who'd been sent to his room. "All right. I know you probably aren't going to need to, but I'm here if you want to talk. I always will be." Anton swallowed, touched deeply by his statement. "Thank you, Nathaniel. I can't tell you how much that means to me." He stood up. "I guess I better go back in before Bryn comes out searching for me." Nodding, Nate turned to go. He wanted to say something more, anything, to let his brother know this wouldn't change things between them...except maybe to bring them closer. He swallowed heavily, his hands shaking as the words came out of his mouth. "Anton...you know I love you, don't you?" Anton swallowed again. "Yes, I do." He stepped up to Nathaniel and put his arms around him. "I love you too, Nathaniel." He held onto his brother tight, relieved that Nathaniel understood. Clutching Anton just as tightly, Nate let his eyes slip closed. He never would've thought anything could feel so good. For over nine hundred years he'd craved his stepbrother's love and approval. He finally realized all he had to do was give in order to receive. Patting Anton's back, he let go, blinking tears out of his eyes. "Go...go see Bryn. I'll go back and get Lindy, before she thinks I abandoned her." "Okay, apologize to everyone for me. I'll talk to you later on." He watched as Nathaniel nodded and started back to Jess's home. Anton took a deep breath and walked up the porch to the front door. He paused for a moment before opening the door. "Bryn?" "I'm upstairs, sugar," Bryn called out. Walking in the house, Anton shut and locked the door behind him. As he headed towards the stairs, he saw Petunia standing on the landing, wagging her tail, excitedly wiggling as he got closer. He reached down to pet her, somewhat disconsolately, then continued up to his bedroom. When he walked through the double doors, he saw Bryn sitting on the bed, Max lying on his stomach in front of her, both looking at him expectantly. "Come here, sugar. Come sit with us." He walked over to the bed, stepping out of his shoes. He settled down on the other side of the bed and then scooted over next to Bryn. Supporting his weight on one arm, he leaned against Bryn. "I told Nathaniel," he said simply. He reached out and placed a hand on Max's back, gently rubbing it. "We talked about it a bit." Carefully maneuvering, she settled down on to her side, almost diagonal to him, letting him rest his head on her shoulder. She pressed her lips to his forehead. "I'm a little surprised by that. I didn't think you'd tell him." She combed her fingers through his hair. "That's a very big step forward for you. I'm proud of you, Anton." He nodded. "It was hard, but it felt like the right thing to do. I think he would have resented it if I didn't say anything." He continued to rub Max's back as Bryn continued to stroke his hair. "Do you think it was wrong of me to leave like I did? Should I have tried to stay?" "No. You're perfectly capable of making the right decisions for yourself, Anton. Mr. Mulder didn't ask you to attend for anyone else's benefit, he asked you come for yours--and if you were uncomfortable being there, then it's acceptable for you to leave. I don't think anyone was disappointed or upset by it. If anything, they're just hoping you're all right." She tilted his chin up, meeting his gaze. "Don't worry about what other people think. Take care of yourself." Anton kissed her lips briefly. "Thank you, Bryn." She had said exactly what he needed to hear. He felt safe and loved and protected. He closed his eyes and leaned against Bryn more. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?" She smiled, leaning her cheek against the top of his head. "I think you have, but it never hurts to hear it again. Is it anywhere near as much as I love you?" "I hope so. Because I love you with all my heart and soul, my dear." Anton lifted his head to look into her eyes. "And for all that you've given me, sometimes I don't think that's enough." He leaned forward to kiss her, trying to show her the depth of his love with the simple act of a kiss. She closed her eyes, and opened her mouth to his kiss. She nipped at his lips, softly sucking on them, before sliding her tongue against his. Keeping her touch light, she cupped his jaw and brushed his cheek bone with her thumb. She didn't push him to go any further than he wanted...the kiss was comforting, loving, and gentle. He moaned softly, gently brushing her cheek with the back of his fingers. Keeping his mouth open, he lightly sucked on her tongue. His hand slowly drifted downwards, brushing her neck and sternum lightly before coming to rest at and cupping her breast. He didn't squeeze but just enjoyed it's slightly heavier than usual weight. She shivered lightly, scooting closer to him. She didn't care that he'd left the counseling session early--she was amazed he'd gone in the first place. It had been a huge risk, and she was so proud of him for taking it. She tried to show him that as she kissed him, the reverence of her touch as she slid her hand over his chest. As she let her lips travel across his cheek to whisper in his ear. "You're my hero, sugar. And I'm so proud of you." He didn't feel like a hero. He felt very vulnerable as he started to tremble, tears that had been pent up starting to fall down his cheeks. He held onto her tight, face pressed against her neck. "Would you make love to me tonight, Bryn?" he asked, hating the tremor in his voice. "Of course, my love." She kissed him on the cheek, holding him close while he cried. "I'll hold you and kiss you, touch you, love you, worship you. Anton, nothing that happened in your past will ever change the way I feel about you. You'll always be the strongest man I know. You'll always be my hero. And even if you're scared, hurting, or feeling alone, you're still strong...it just gives me a chance to hold you even tighter. And you know I love any excuse to do that." Anton smiled slightly through his tears as he looked up at her. "I love you so much, Bryn. I am so lucky to have you." He hugged her tighter and kissed her forehead before working his way down to her mouth. "So, do you want to put Max in his crib, or should I?" She kissed his mouth softly. "I'll do it. You just get comfortable." Kissing him once more, she reluctantly got off the bed and picked up Max. Although not asleep, he looked at her with sleepy eyes and cuddled close to her. Walking around the bed to Anton's side, she held Max out so he could get a kiss from his Daddy. The baby let out a happy gurgling noise. Smiling, Bryn carried Max into his room, Petunia on her heels. She hoped he would go to sleep right away. Luckily, he curled up quietly on his crib mattress and clutched his blue blanket. "Good night, Max. Sweet dreams, sweet pea." Anton, meanwhile, stretched out on the bed. he was tired - emotionally and physically. It had been a lot harder for him to attend the counseling session than he cared to admit. And the same applied to telling Nathaniel as well. But both were now done, and he relax and enjoy being with his wife, who loved him no matter what. His eyes stayed focused on the doorway, eagerly awaiting her return. She turned off the light in Max's room and walked through the door smiling. Her face lit up even brighter when she met Anton's gaze. Walking towards him, she stripped off her shirt, carelessly dropping it on the floor, then unfastened her jeans, letting them slide down her legs, and stepping out of them when they hit the floor. Crawling on to the bed in only her bra and panties, she slithered her way up his body. Straddling his hips and gently kissing his mouth. "Mmmm...I love you, Anton." His hands came up -- one thread his fingers through her hair, one to rest lightly on her waist. "I love you so much, Bryn." he tried to sit up to kiss her more, only to be gently pushed onto his back. Acquiescing, he gave a soft sigh as she started to unbutton his shirt, kissing his chest as it was exposed. She rolled her tongue around his nipple, worrying it and sucking on it like a piece of hard candy. She moaned softly at the salty flavor of his skin, the spicy-woodsy smell of his cologne. He moved restlessly beneath, muscles rippling under her hands, and her breath caught at the little whimpers he was releasing. Kissing her way across to the other nipple, she looked up at him. "What do you want me to do to you, sugar? Suck your cock? Ride you? Fuck your ass with my fingers?" Anton moaned again. His eyes slitted open to watch her tongue circle around his nipple. He reached down to comb his fingers through her hair. He could feel her hard nipples poking into his stomach, even through the lace of her bra. "I want you to ride me, my dear. Ride me so hard I see stars." She let out a sound, half-purr and half growl, as she moved back up to kiss his mouth. Sucking on his upper lip as she leaned over him. "My pleasure." With a little smile, she crawled backwards, settling lightly on his upper thighs. Reaching for the button on his jeans, she watched with slightly amusement as his belly flexed against her touch. Shifting her hand, she cupped the bulge in his jeans with a firm grip. "Did you ever name your cock, Anton? I think I should be able to address it by its correct name, don't you?" "Yes you should," He purred as she gently squeezed him. "However, I seem to have never got around to naming it." He rolled his hips underneath her, squirming lightly in her grip. "Would you like that honor, my dear?" "Mmm...this might be fun." Carefully lowering his zipper, she slipped off of him to pull his jeans down, throwing them and his socks on the floor. "Let's see, there's Lance, Excalibur, Goliath, The Titan..." She massaged his cock gently through the charcoal silk of his boxers, unable to keep from smiling. "King Kong, U-571, and Mr. Steel." "U-571?" "Yeah, after that movie about the submarine...they're both full of seamen." She grinned, giggling as he laughed out loud. "But...I think I'd have to choose Moby. It has a nice ring to it." "Moby Dick?" "Thar she blows!" Anton laughed again, shaking his head slightly as she carefully lowered his boxers. There was still a lingering sadness in him, but it was being displaced by his growing desire for her. He caressed Bryn's head again, unable to reach any other part of her. "What do you say that you lean down and kiss Moby hello." Grasping his cock lightly, she traced her fingertips over the underside and watched him twitch with anticipation. Leaning down close, she let him feel the heat of her breath against his skin. "Hello Moby," she said softly, pressing her lips fully against his glans. She opened her mouth slightly to let him feel the moisture on the inside of her lips, then gently brushed him with her tongue. Briefly flicking at the slit in the tip, she closed her lips around the head of his cock and sucked as stroked his shaft. He let out another long groan. Her mouth was so warm and wet around his cock, he wasn't sure he'd be able to hold out long enough to get inside her sex. Anton arched his hips beneath her, hips leaving the bed to follow her mouth as she drew back. "Bryn...please." "Shh. Let me take my panties off." She smiled as he nodded vigorously. Tucking her fingers in the waist band, she pulled off the wet cotton bikinis and got ready to toss them on the floor--then thought better of it. Instead, she tucked the pink scrap of fabric in his hand and gave him a wicked grin. Moving quickly to straddle him, she watched him closely. Quivering at the sight of him stroking her damp underwear. He moaned, entranced by the heat and dampness on his cock, as well as in his hand. He rubbed his finger along her panties, relishing their feel. She was so beautiful above him, and he felt so lucky to have her. To be able to make love to her and be confident his past didn't matter to her. Anon started to arch up into her, moving his thumb in time with his thrusts. His other hand lightly probed between her legs, seeking her clit. She gasped, opening her legs wider for him. Bracing her hands on his chest, she moved in firm strokes on his cock. She let out a soft grunt every time the head hit her cervix. Although he felt fantastic and filled her completely, she wished she could pull him in even deeper, to accept more of his length, and squeezed his breadth with her tight muscles. She felt a small gush of moisture against his fingers as he rubbed her clit and she moaned as she looked down to see. His cock was slick, spreading her open widely, and she sped up her movements as she continued to watch. His eyes were shut as he settled his head deeper into the pillows, trying to get better leverage for his hips. Anton continued to thrust and rub, letting out a small whimper every time she tightened around his cock. "You...feel...wonderful...my...dear." "What are you thinking about?" She lightly scratched her nails against his chest. "Are you having a fantasy? A Vegas showgirl? Mmm...or a Swiss milkmaid...maybe a geisha?" She didn't mind if he fantasized, even about other women, so long as he saved his love for her. Besides, it was fun to learn what turned him on. What merely piqued his interest and what made him cum. "Maybe she's a spy..." Whatever turned him on turned her on, too. "Is she hot? Does she torture you or beg you to fuck her?" "What make you, ugh, think that those aren't one, ooh, and the same?" The thrust of his hips came harder and faster now. Letting go of the damp cotton, he grabbed her wrist, just needing touch her as much as possible. A playful gleam came into his eye and he guided her hand to between her legs, just above his. "She tortures me by not letting me touch her and by touching herself and fucking me while I watch helpless, tied to the bed." She whimpered, sliding her fingers between his, moving them both in short circles. After a moment the stimulation became to intense and she grabbed his hands in hers, pinning them to the bed. Tightening around him, she lowered herself on to his chest, pressing her forehead against his neck, using only her lower body to ride him. It was more like tugging than actually thrusting--clenched hard around his cock, she didn't release him but merely pulled with her hips. Lifting his balls with every move. The thrusts he gave only served to mesh them more tightly together. Anton bit his lower lip. He sucked in a breath, trying hard to hold back longer. But the pleasure was too sweet, the sensation too intense. Straining against her body and hands, he arched up once, letting out a hoarse shout as he came. She continued to ride him, drawing out his orgasm as long as she could. Panting, she went boneless against him, feeling him lift her as his chest rose and fell. Although she hadn't reached her climax, she felt curiously tired and sated. Continued to squeeze him as he softened inside her. Bryn pressed her lips to his neck, kissing him softly. "I love you, sugar." He pressed his lips to her forehead. "I love you too, my dear." He took a deep breath and let his eyes close. Anton rubbed the top of her head with his cheek. He knew she hadn't cum, but wasn't quite sure what to do about it. "Bryn? Is there something you want me to do?" She lifted her head a little bit, saw his eyes were closed, and then settled it back down. "Only if you want to. You can go to sleep if you want. You had a hard day. I'll still be here when you wake up." She nuzzled his neck. "I want to be with you. That's all I've ever needed to make me happy." He kissed her forehead again and then let his head fall back on the pillow. She was right. He did have a hard day and was feeling tired. "I promise I'll make it up to you when we wake up in the afternoon." His arms tightened around her. "Have I mentioned lately how much I love you, Bryn?" She squeezed her eyes shut, heartbroken that the day had given him such pain. Wrapping her arms tightly around him, she bit her tongue to keep from getting too emotional. "Of course, Anton. You tell me every time you look at me." He opened his eyes and lifted his head. "Thank you, Bryn. For being so understanding about everything. For loving me." She opened her own eyes and scooted up to meet his lips, feeling him slip out of her as she did so. Pressing her lips firmly to his, she lingered there, releasing a soft sob when she finally pulled back to meet his gaze. Her eyes were sorrowful as she said, "I understand you better than anyone. And I will always love you, with all my heart." He gently ran his fingers through her hair, massaging the base of her skull. "My dear goddess of my heart and keeper of my soul. You always have been, and you always will be." He relaxed back against the pillow, but kept her head cradled on his shoulder. "Now and forever." Opening the door at the top of the cellar stairs, Nate walked in to the living room and turned up the thermostat as he passed. Tossing his coat on the back of a chair, he slumped down on the couch and let his head fall back. After his talk with Anton, he hadn't felt much like sitting through the rest of the counseling session. Apparently Mulder hadn't minded...he was easily able to switch the entire discussion towards Jess's family. Persuading Lindy to leave with him had been easy, too. Yet now that they were alone in their own home, he wasn't sure it had been such a good idea. If he'd pretended nothing was wrong, she probably would've let him be--now, however, she was itching to question him. As she set Liam down on the floor and straightened to look at Nate, he spoke before she had a chance to. "Before you ask...I think it might be best if you discuss this with Anton yourself. I'm not so sure he wants me blabbing." "Fair enough." Lindy took off her jacket and then grabbed Nate's. "So he finally admitted he's been abused to someone?" she asked as she hung their jackets in the hall closet. "You knew?" Nate asked in a stunned tone of voice. "No, not really. Or at least I wasn't sure." Lindy closed the door, leaning against it before responding. "I had a gut feeling about it. The way he reacted when he found out I was abused, or when the subject in general came up. But I wasn't positive. Not until he ran outside tonight." She walked over to Nate. "I won't ask for details, if he told you any. I'm just glad that he's finally admitting that something happened to him." He sighed, picking up Liam as the boy toddled over to him. Settling his son on his knee, he said, "I'm not so sure that I am. I know that makes me really selfish, but that's about the last thing I wanted to hear come out of his mouth. All I could think about after he said it was that I wished I hadn't followed him. I should've just sat there and minded my own business. I guess it's kind of late for that now." "Yeah." She settled beside him, slipping an arm around his waist. "But still, it had to be a big step for him to even be there. And I'm sure he appreciates the concern you have for him. Sure beats what your relationship used to be like. Besides, isn't that what brothers are supposed to do? Worry about each other?" Rolling his head to the side to meet her gaze, he shrugged. "I guess so. Although some people might argue that our earlier relationship was more accurate as far as being brotherly." He went back to absently staring at the top of Liam's head. "It felt so surreal--he was telling me someone raped him, and the expression on his face was just the total opposite of everything I've ever known about him. He's always been so powerful and intimidating. Humans didn't have a chance against him, and he could even kick my ass if he felt the need. The thing was, he rarely ever tried. Always so stone-faced and in control." Nate shook his head. "Tonight, he looked at me with the eyes of a frightened little boy...and it scared the hell out of me." Lindy nodded. "Since I don't know the details, what I'm about to say might be completely wrong, but maybe the fact that he's in control so much has to do with what happened to him." She leaned her head against his shoulder. "It could've evolved out of feeling so out of control when he was attacked. But it must have taken a lot for him to drop his guard in front of you." She paused for a moment. "I wonder how long Bryn's known. It must have been hard for her to hear too." "I don't know how long, but she sure wasn't about to tell me what the problem was. I think if we hadn't run into Anton, she would've punched me and told me to fuck off." He yawned, then set Liam down when the boy started squirming. "I think he must've sworn her to secrecy, which is why I don't want him to know I said anything, either." Lindy shrugged, watching Liam toddle off towards Montel, who was napping in front of the fireplace. "It could be that she was just trying to protect him. If the situation were reversed, I wouldn't be telling Anton without checking with you first." She kissed his cheek. "I won't let it slip that you told me." He gave her a tired smile. "Thanks. I just hope this doesn't make things weird between Anton and me. I'm sure it will be very uncomfortable for a while." Stifling another yawn, he glanced at the clock. "It's getting to be about that time. You ready for bed?" "Yeah, I'm tired, and the sun's almost up." Lindy lightly rubbed his back. "Nate, do you have any questions about what was discussed? I don't mean about Anton, but about Mom and Alex. I know you had to be surprised by what you heard." He shook his head in bewilderment. "After Anton, I almost forgot about that. I knew about your mother, but I had no clue about Alex. I guess that explains his being so protective of you, but it's still hard to imagine. He must've been very young at the time?" "Actually no. It happened about fourteen years ago, same time he was Changed. It's a long story, but he was working with some men involved in a government conspiracy. He displeased them, and he was experimented on." She sighed. "He doesn't like to talk about it, but he'll answer questions if you ask them." "I wouldn't even know what to ask. I just--I know that's hard for women to take, but for a man? I guess it shouldn't be any different, but it is. Feeling like they've lost their masculinity, feeling powerless...I know women feel powerless too, but men are supposed to be the protectors. The head of the household, and...I don't know how Anton still manages to maintain that facade. Maybe it's because it was so long ago, but what about Alex? Like you said, it wasn't that long ago." "I know it hasn't been easy on him, or Mom, or Walter for that matter. But they've worked through it, dealing with issues as they come up." She looked up in his eyes. "It's partially why Mom and Alex got involved with Walter, but that's a story for another time. They've kept things very open and very honest and confronted problems head on. And if you watch carefully, you'll see that Alex isn't the tough guy he tries to appear to be. But don't get me wrong. He's every bit as dangerous as Anton can be. And in some ways, more." He nodded, then added, "Well, don't underestimate Anton either. You haven't even begun to see him when he gets pissed. It's a little like watching a volcano blow. Takes him a while to get there, thankfully." Standing up, he reached for her hand and pulled her to her feet. "See, you're lucky you ended up with me. I'm the peaceful sort. I don't cause trouble, and I'm as mellow as marshmallow fluff. Not to mention charming as all get-out." "And we can't forget humble either." She grinned as he frowned at her. "But you're right. I'm very, very lucky that I ended up with you." She stepped closer to him and lightly brushed his lips with hers. "So what do you say that we put Liam to bed, go to our room, and I show you how glad I am that I'm so lucky?" "Oooh...see you've reminded me now that you're even luckier than before, 'cause I'm really good in bed too!" He grinned at her, before turning and picking up Liam from the floor. The boy let out an angry growl at being pulled away from the cat, but, judging by the tuft of fur in his hand and the way Montel scurried away, he was pretty sure the cat was glad to see him go. "Come on, squirt, time for bed." Walking over to the bottom of the stairs, Nate stopped and swept his arm towards the staircase. "After you, lucky lady." With a deliberate swish of her hips, she walked past him. She turned around and arched an eyebrow at him. "Well, what are you waiting for?" Still smiling, he followed her up the stairs and kept his eyes on the sway of her ass. Since that day he'd carried her out of her parents' home, things had changed between them. She was finally able to laugh again, and it felt fantastic to see her smile. Although he'd mainly been focussed on needing to touch her and hold her, he now realized just how much he'd missed her--just Lindy. The playful, clever, and adventurous woman he'd fallen in love with. He'd missed their banter, passion, and the unspoken language they shared with just a look. Now those things were coming back. Not all at once like a landslide, but gently as a trickling stream. He couldn't remember being so happy in months. She stopped in front of Liam's room, letting him enter first. She had expected to feel emotionally drained after the group session, but instead she felt energized. Anton and Alex had been the focus, but while Nate was out of the room, there was a brief discussion about what had changed since she had come home, and what still needed to be worked on. She wasn't completely normal yet, but she could feel herself stretching towards it more and more every day. And before where it had seemed to be an insurmountable task, now it was a goal she could see herself getting closer and closer to every day. And when she felt that it was too much, when the discouragement and the doubt started to creep back, all she had to do was look at her husband, the wonderful man who had given her so much and stayed by her side through all the ugly self-doubt, to regain her motivation. Once Lindy entered the room, Nate lifted Liam up and swooped him towards his mommy, all the white making the puttering, buzzing sound of an old prop plane. "Time for a bedtime kiss." He released Liam into her arms, watching the two of them fondly. "Don't be hogging the spotlight, boy. After this, she's all mine." Lindy smiled and kissed her son good night. "Sleep well, Liam." After a loud kiss on the forehead and a tight hug, she handed the child back to Nate, smiling gently as he then hugged him and made more airplane noises as he laid the child back down. "How soon do you think it will be that he needs a real bed? We could get him that race car one you were threatening to buy when I first moved in." "Baby, I have no clue how long it will be before he needs a bed...I would think we could at least wait until he's two." He chuckled softly as he tucked the blanket over Liam's footsie pajamas. "I think he was asleep before he hit the mattress," he said, lowering his voice. With one last rub on the back, he walked over to Lindy and leaned against her as he flicked off the overhead light. "I think that race car bed would be perfect. Although, I can't guarantee there'll be room for Liam once I'm in it." "Why do I sometimes feel like I'm raising two little boys?" She took the sting out of her words by kissing his nose as she put her arms around her waist. "I guess since there won't be room for Liam, there definitely won't be enough room for me. Unless they make minivan models." "Hmm..." Stepping even closer, he lifted her off her feet and carried her, legs dangling, across the hall to their own bedroom. Kissing her soundly the entire way. When he placed her feet on the floor, at the foot of the bed, both their faces were flushed. "I guess we'll just have to order a customized race car bed. Twice the size but just as flashy. Because I..." he said, walking her backwards to the bed, "can't imagine," he added, pressing her on to the mattress, "sleeping without you." "Neither can I." She felt a twinge of guilt at a stray thought that they both knew what sleeping alone was like, but she quashed it, reminding herself that it was firmly in the past now. Grabbing the collar of his shirt, Lindy pulled Nate on top of her more firmly, still kissing him. She felt lightheaded from his kisses, and couldn't get enough of them. "Teach me something new, Nathaniel. I want to learn from you." He let out a deep moan, rocking his hips against her pelvis. "Yes, baby..." He slid his hand under her ass, lifting her higher to bring his subtle thrusts closer to her covered sex. Still nibbling at her lips, he said, "Bathroom...I want you to come to the bath with me. I'll teach you there." Sucking on her lips, kneading her breast. "Get you naked and slippery, so I can make you moan." She let out a little whimper, pushing her breast harder into his hand. "I can't get up with you laying on top of me," she whispered. She toed off her shoes as he pulled away. Standing up, she took two steps towards the bathroom and pulled the hem of his Henley out of his jeans. She couldn't help but smile as he started to unbutton her denim blouse. He opened the rest of the buttons with very little finesse, merely pulling the sides apart and hoping the fabric wouldn't rip. Her shirt slid off her shoulders but caught at the buttoned wrists. Nate didn't even notice as he picked her up once again, burying his face in her breasts and inhaling deeply as walked into the bathroom. Although this bathroom wasn't as nice as their master suite downstairs, it was still beautiful. With a tub so big a person could get lost in it. Instead of switching on the overhead lights, Nate turned up the smaller dial, lighting the tiny lamps placed on the underside of each mirror, casting the room in a dim orangy glow. Just a touch darker than candle light. Her heart was pounding and she was almost hyperventilating from excitement. Still kissing him, she began working his shirt higher so she could run her fingers over his silky skin. letting her legs slide down until she was standing again. She pulled his shirt over his head and freed arms from her shirt. Staring up into his eyes, she slowly began unbuttoning his jeans. Grasping her wrists, even as she still worked on his fly, he tugged her along as he walked backwards to the tub. Awkwardly bending down, trying purposefully not to dislodge her hands, he turned on the water and check the temperature, before plugging the drain. Then he moved even more swiftly to unhook and remove her bra. As soon as she was done unzipping his pants, he bent her backwards over his arm, leaning over her to nuzzle her breasts, teasing them with his lips, and finally sucking them one by one into his mouth. She let out a gasp and a low moan. One of her hands came up to cradle the back of his head closer to her breast. Not only did this position leave her breasts vulnerable to his loving attention, but pressed her sex hard against his crotch. She wrapped one leg around his hips, whimpering. He let out a low groan and grabbed her thigh, using it pull her even tighter against him. Sucking voraciously on her nipple, he started to rock his hips and grind his crotch against hers. By the time he felt her fingernails start to dig into his skin, he realized he was just about ready to rip off her pants and fuck her where she stood. Panting, he let go of her thigh and brought her upright as he unbuttoned her jeans with shaking fingers. "Hurry up and get in the tub, before I change my mind and take you on the floor." She swallowed and nodded, sliding off her jeans and panties in one smooth motion. She then turned to the tub, not certain that he wouldn't surprise her and take her from behind. But he left her alone as she stepped into the tub. As she sat down, she realized that her hair was loose around her shoulders and trailing down into the hot water. "Like this?" Stepping out of his discarded clothes, he shook his head. "No, sit up on the edge of the tub, legs open." She arched an eyebrow, but did as he asked. Watching silently as he grabbed four towels out of the cabinet. He set two of them on the counter, then carried the other two over to the tub. He laid one on the floor along side the tub. "To catch any water that splashes over." Then he stepped into the hot water and submerged the fourth towel. "To cushion my knees." Dropping down on to it, he put his hands on her thighs, pushed them open, and licked a long stripe up her sex. She let out a surprised gasp. Squirming and trying to keep her balance on the edge of the tub, she watched his dark head bobbing between her legs. He was licking expertly her in all the right places. Biting her lip and trembling, she wondered if she may have gotten herself in over her head. He moaned, his cock feeling as rigid as steel and desperately pointing towards his belly. Continuing to lap at her, hungry for her juices, he pushed his tongue inside her and tried to tickle her g-spot. He felt her buck against him and pulled back, grinning. "Hold on to the edge really tightly," he said, his voice husky, before slipping his arms under her thighs, lifting her butt off the edge and pulling her open sex to his mouth. Finally able to get the right angle, he pushed his tongue inside her as far as he could, moaning, his lips vibrating against her. Lindy squealed, almost twisting out of his grip. Using the little leverage she had, she pushed herself against him. Her nipples ached with desire, but she'd lose her balance if she let go of the tub to soothe them. And she didn't want to risk letting his tongue fall out of her. Especially when he flicked his fingertip lightly against her clit. She screeched, sex contracting around his tongue in a powerful orgasm. He shuddered lightly himself, holding her hips tightly to keep his mouth connected with her sex. He wiggled his tongue inside her, prolonging her orgasm as long as he could. When her contractions finally began to wane, he swiped his tongue over her clit and felt her jump at the sensation. Wondering if he could make her cum again, he continued the gentle brushing, back and forth, slow and deliberate. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her knuckles whiten as she gripped the edge of the tub. She panted lightly from both coming down from her orgasm and the fresh sensations Nate was teasing her with. She let out a soft moan and tilted her head back, spreading her legs as wide as she could in the bath tub. "You do such incredible things to me, beloved." He looked up for a second, pulling away from her. "Put your feet up on the rim of the tub." Thighs still shaking, she did so cautiously. Although marble surrounded the tub, carved into an almost shimmery set of stairs, the outer rim still wasn't very wide. And she had no desire to tumble over backwards. Yet as she watched him move closer, she was surprised to see that instead of licking her he reached for the bottle of scented bath gel. Pouring a small amount of the thick pink liquid into his hand, filling the room with a light floral smell, he then set the bottle down again. He lifted his hand and smeared the gel over her breast, softly kneading her as he lathered the soap, circling her tight nipple with his thumb. She let out a soft sight, chest lifting firmer into his touch. Idly she wondered what Nate had in mind, but she was too absorbed in his touch. She watched in fascination as his thumb started brushing back and forth over her nipple, raising it to a peak as well as spreading the lather. His eyes dilated as he rubbed her. Yet it wasn't her breasts he was watching. Fascinated, he stared at her sex, watching her get wetter with every stroke of his thumb. He leaned down, bracing his free hand on the floor of the tub, licking a long, slow, torturous path up her sex. She squealed, her head thrown back, so close to orgasm yet again. And then he stopped abruptly, started to lather her other breast, and began the same process all over again. She was vibrating beneath him as he continued to tease her. Her breath was coming in harsh gasps. "Oh God..." Slightly frustrated, she squirmed around, trying to intensify the contact as he teased her. And as his tongue passed over her clit one last time and his thumb rolled her nipple, she squealed, cumming again. "So gorgeous, baby..." Instead of leaning down to lick at her while she came, he slid his soapy hand down her torso instead, pressed his thumb over her clit, using the silky foam to slick the rapid rubbing he gave her. Her thighs shook heavily, ass leaving the tub's rim, and if it wasn't for Nate's quick reflexes as he wrapped his arm around her, she would've toppled over backwards. Holding her securely, he watched her sex fluttering, still contracting wildly with every pass of his thumb. "Does that feel good? You want my cock in you? You want to feel me fucking you?" "God! Yes! Yesyesplease!" He kept his thumb on her, even as he tilted his hand awkward to brush his fingertips over her anus. "How about here? You want me to fuck you here? Make you cum? You want me to make you cum even harder than you are now?" "Yes!" she shrieked, eyes pressed shut. She wouldn't be surprised if they found gouges in the marble where she was clutching it tightly. Her voice was shaky and her breath harsh. "I feel empty, Nate. I want to feel you fill me!" Her eyes snapped open, locking pleadingly on his "I need you to fuck me." He grinned at her, coaxing her down from her orgasm by slowing the swipes of his thumb. Settling her back to the tub rim, he murmured, "You're going to have to be still now. I don't want you to fall and hurt yourself." Making sure he had her agreement with a nod of her head, he continued to gently rub her clit while he grabbed the bath gel again. Opening it with one hand, he squirted a generous amount on to her pubic hair, allowing it to drip over his fingers. Then he set the bottle down and switched the hands rubbing her clit so he could begin to coaxing open her anus with the more slippery hand. Watching her face, he used light pressure on the tight orifice, not yet entering her with his fingers, but merely testing her reaction to his touch. He smiled when she pushed against his fingers with her muscles, opening her sphincter a bit. "God, you look so fucking hot when you're horny, Lind. That's it...open up a little wider for me..." He groaned. "I wish you could see your sweet cunt. You're so wet and open." She whimpered a bit more, feeling his fingers teasing her anus. There was a slight discomfort, but not anything that made her want to back off. "I wish you could see your face when you're this excited, Nate." Her eyes were half shut as she concentrated on the sensations and staying relaxed as much as possible. "You look so sexy, and a tad dangerous." His voice became slightly breathy. "It's only because I want you so much, I'd take anyone who got in my way and rip him to shreds." Lifting his hand to her pubic hair, he rolled them in the soap gel collected there, making sure they were coated completely, before moving back to rub her again. This time, circling his fingertip in a tight circle, like a corkscrew, he opened her anus and pushed his finger inside, stopping at the second knuckle. Seeing her face scrunch in discomfort, he firmly caressed her clit in reward. "You're doing so good, baby...you're so tight, but I'll relax you completely. I promise." She sucked in a breath and blew it out, focusing on relaxing her muscles. Although she considered herself rather open minded when it came to sex, this act to her had a taint of being taboo, and therefore very exciting. Experimentally she pushed against his finger, whimpering a bit at the still lingering discomfort. Watching her expression closely, he began slowly moving his finger in and out of her, lubricating her tight passage, and gently pressing deeper inside her. He'd been so sure of himself a few minutes ago, but now as he saw her obvious unease, he wasn't so sure this was going to work. If his finger bordered on pain for her, she'd never be able to accept his cock. No matter how slippery she was. "Relax, Lind...you're tightening up on me. Push out, baby. It'll feel better." Eyes still closed, she followed his instructions. Her brows lifted in surprise as the discomfort disappeared. And she relaxed further as he lightly circled her clit again. "Mmmmm..." She looked at the blatant desire on his face. It scared her sometimes and sometime just left her in awe to see him so focused on her. Like now. Feeling her muscles loosen was like sweet liquid heaven to Nate. Instead of gripping him so tightly he could barely move, she allowed him smooth entry, and the silky feel of her passage, along with the intense heat of her, made him bite his lip. He was so painfully hard he was tempted slam himself into her sex instead. But he forced himself to stay on course, doing what she'd asked of him--teaching her something new. "How does it feel, baby? Does it hurt when I move my finger?" "No, it doesn't hurt." She shifted slightly, pleasantly surprised when she didn't feel any pain. "It feels good." Cautiously, she tightened and released around his fingers. "No pain." "Good. When we're done and all dried off, I'll use lotion instead of soap so you don't get all dried up." He leaned forward, stretching up to kiss her lips. He licked and sucked at her, groaning softly as she pushed her tongue into his mouth. While she was distracted, he used the opportunity to slowly ease a second finger inside her. He felt her tense for a moment, and resumed circling her clit to relax her. She took a deep breath and blew it out her nose, allowing her muscles to relax. As long as she kept loose, it didn't hurt. She continued to probe his mouth with her tongue, exploring it as a distraction. She felt tight, but it was starting to feel good. Nate was starting to wonder if he was developing blue balls. It was difficult for him to move, for the head of his cock brushed his belly with every bend. If he were smart, he head for the tub faucet and run a little cool water over it. But he didn't want to leave Lindy's side. Grabbing the soap again, he squeezed more of the liquid over his fingers as he continued to pump them in and out of her. He was about to risk adding a third finger to her anus. He knew it would be the real test as to whether she was able to accept him or not. She bit her lower lip as he pressed into her. But she forced herself to relax and accept his third finger. She continued to pant lightly, but didn't make any noises like she was in pain. She felt full and tight, but no pain. All she let out where little whimpers as he continued to rub lightly around her clit. Grateful that she wasn't in pain, he pulled his fingers out of her and quickly rinsed them in the bath water. Grabbing her around the waist, he said, "I'm going to turn you over so you can kneel in the tub...but try to keep your ass out of the water. I don't want all of the soap to wash away." She nodded, letting go of one side of the tub as he held her securely. She slipped once as he started to turn her, but he quickly caught her and carefully lowered her legs. Purposefully keeping her pelvis tilted forward, she settled down on the soaked towel in the bottom of the tub, just in front of him, and jumped slightly as she felt him pull apart the cheeks of her ass. She lightly whimpered as she felt him squirt more soap over her, and heard as he squeezed some on to his own shaft. The head of his cock felt huge nestled against her anus. Instead of pushing, he slipped one hand back around and tease her clit. "Push out, baby. Keep it slow. I don't know how long this will last if we're not careful." "Okay," she said nodding. She concentrated on staying relaxed and pushing out as he pressed against her. She expected a lot more resistance, but the head of his cock popped into her without too much difficulty. She gasped in surprise. Nate immediately froze. "Am I hurting you?" "No," she whispered. "Keep going." He bit his lip harshly, choking on a groan. She felt fantastic. Tight and silky, so hot wrapped around him. It took all of his willpower to keep from thrusting immediately. Easing in a little bit further, he pressed his fingertip down firmly on her clit. "You're doing so good, baby. I know it's not easy, but you're doing so good. We're getting to the thick part now...if it hurts, I'll stop." She nodded again. She felt extremely full, but Nate was being so gentle, there was only a slight discomfort. Lindy trembled slightly as he pushed farther into her, and she continued to concentrate on staying relaxed, even when she felt his pubic hair brush her ass. He continued to push until he was inside her to the hilt. Belly against her back, he let out a low groan and pressed his face to her neck. Whispering, "God, this feels so fucking good, baby." He swallowed heavily, shaking against her. "You're so damned tight." She was trembling. She hadn't felt this tight or this stretched ever before. And at the same time she felt empty, her sex open and seeking his cock or his fingers. Whimpering, she pushed back slightly into his groin. He gripped her hips tightly, his fingers threatening to leave white prints in her flesh. Carefully, slowly pulling all the way out of her, he pressed back in a bit faster, picking up his pace a fraction with every thrust. He spread her legs as wide as the tub would allow, sliding his fingers down to hold open the lips of her sex, exposing her clit and vaginal opening to the air, enhancing the feel of her vulnerability and emptiness. "How does it feel, baby?" he whispering, voice gravelly. "It feels good, Nate." She matched his pace, meeting his lunges with a backwards one of her own. It was an odd sensation to be so filled and so empty at the same time. She arched her back, feeling the water starting to slosh around them from their movements, and let out a low moan of pleasure. His thrusts became more forceful as he covered her pubic mound with his palm. Sliding two fingers in opposing half-moons around the opening of her sex. He never would've imagined that her ass could look so sexy opening to him and slapping against his groin. He'd only made love this way a few times before...less than he could count on the fingers of one hand. Certainly never with Natasha. And he was pleased that Lindy was enjoying it. He was pleased Lindy was enjoying being with him, period. The feel of her gripping his arm so tightly was just a bonus. Letting out a soft grunt with each push, he sped up his thrusts again, pushing his finger inside her to the first knuckle, feeling his orgasm get closer. Her eyes widened as she felt him inside of both her ass and her sex. Part of her was worried that her tight grip on his arm would snap his wrist, but she couldn't loosen her hand. Not with the delicious sensations he was sending through her body. She squealed as she felt his finger slip further into her body, increasing the tingling radiating through her groin. "Yes, Nate!" Thrusting rapidly now, he pushed two fingers deep inside her sex, pressing his the heel of his hand to her clit, moving his entire hand in a back and forth motion. His balls were lifting and his lips pulled back from his teeth, jaw clenched, hissing softly. Trying to crawl his way into her body. Two more hard thrusts and his semen jetted into her with amazing intensity, making him lightheaded. "Lind!" She squealed again, feeling his cum splash deep within her. At the same time, his fingers pressed firmly on her g-spot, and his palm on her clit. She was vibrating around him, feeling her orgasm burst through her with a sweet intensity. She yelped before sagging, trusting him to support her. Nate settled her carefully against the rim of the tub, using his arms to cushion her, as he lightly laid on top of her. He could still feel subtle aftershocks from his orgasm wracking his frame, and judging by her soft whimpers should could feel them too. Wanting to ease her discomfort as much as possibly, he pulled out of her and washed his softening cock, then gathered hands full of water to press against her sex, washing away the soap. Moving back a bit on his knees, he pulled her down in the water to lie against him, holding open her anus with his fingers, then plunging them inside to carefully remove the rest of the soap. She shuddered as she felt his fingers slide in and out of her, cleaning her. When he was done, she didn't resist as she was pulled back against him. Cradled on his chest, she gave a contented sigh and pulled his arms around her as she nuzzled the base of his neck. "I didn't realize that you were into that." He was quiet behind her, and somewhat glad she couldn't see his face as his smile dropped. "You asked to try something new. We don't have to do it again. I--I'm sorry, I thought you liked it." She heard the disappointment in his voice. She twisted her head around to kiss his cheek. "Who said anything about not liking it? I just didn't have a clue that you were into it." She looked up at him, smiling. "So what else are you into that I don't know about?" He shrugged, not looking at her, unable to help the defensive tone in his voice. "I didn't say I was 'into' that. This was only the fourth time I've done it." He reached for the tub drain and started the water releasing. "I don't...I've never really taken inventory of what I like and don't like, so I couldn't tell you." He closed his eyes, shivering lightly. "I just want to make you happy." "And you did." She rolled over, pinning him into place. "I'm just curious. I mean, we make love all the time, but we never talk about it." She heard the hurt in his voice, and it broke her heart. "I'm not casting stones, or making judgments, Nathaniel. I was just curious." He took a deep breath and met her gaze. It was hard to hold it...his eyes kept straying to the side, nervously. "I'm not used to talking about it. I'm used to either being told what to do, or having to guess. So when--when it feels like I've guessed wrong, I feel the need to apologize for it." He took another deep breath, closing his eyes briefly. "Before you ask, none of the previous times I've...had 'sodomy' was with Natasha." "Nate, look at me." Fingers resting on his jaw, she turned his face until he was looking at her. "I asked you to teach me something new, and you did. And I enjoyed it. If I hadn't, if it had hurt, I would have let you know." She gently stroked his cheek and kissed his lips lightly. "Natasha knew and used it against you, right?" When he nodded she kissed his forehead. "I won't do that to you, Nate. I promise I will never make fun of or judge what you want to do in bed." He dipped his head, shuddering lightly, and leaned forward until his forehead was resting on her shoulder. His arms wrapped around her, at first loosely and tighter with the passing seconds. Letting out a soft sob, he felt his wet lashes stick to her skin. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that you would." He sat back for a moment, wiping his eyes clean. "I know you'd never do that." "It's okay." She gently stroked his hair. "Sometimes I forget that you've been hurt just as badly as I was. Just in a different way." She was curious about who he had been with, and had a good guess about at least who one of the people were, since it had struck such a nerve when he said that Natasha hadn't been one. But she wasn't sure it would be a good time to ask. Or even if she ever should. He met her gaze, well aware that he was seeing more there than just comfort and concern. Shivering, he started to stand, reaching for her hand, and helped her down the stairs to the tub. Grabbing the two dry towels from the counter, he handed one to her. "What do you want to know?" he asked, without resentment. "I'll try to tell you whatever I can." She almost didn't ask. But that would make him hurt. "I was just wondering who," she said simply. "And why you feel so ashamed about it. Although I think I can guess why for the last part." Holding the towel shut around her, she took his hand and squeezed it. "You don't have to tell me if it's too painful." He shook his head, rubbing his towel over his hair. "It's not painful. Most of it, anyway. Her reactions to it...that was the painful part." He swallowed, then snorted as if physically pushing the thought of her out of his mind. "The first time was several hundred years ago. It was her idea, or it never would've occurred to me to make love like that. She was a married woman, looking for someone to satisfy her in ways her husband wouldn't." Wrapping his towel around his waist, he tucked the edge under. "The next was about twenty years later. The girl didn't like it, so I never tried it again. The most recent time was in 1937. I guess you could call it an orgy, but it didn't start out that way. I was with a lot of people that night...but most memorably with two men. They were both surprisingly tender and caring...I think it was one of the first times since Lindara that I was being with someone more than just sexually. I know it sounds crazy, since sex was all is was. But I felt respected. Important. I didn't feel like I was just there to do a job. They might've thought differently, but they didn't treat me like a toy." "Which is what Natasha treated you like," she said. "And something I know all too well." She sighed and stepped closer to him. "Nathaniel, I never want you to feel like that with me. And I'm so, so sorry if you've felt like that. The only reason I asked is because we never talk about what we like, what works and what doesn't, and I was curious. I didn't mean to make you think that I was using you. I'm sorry." He shook his head, pulling her closer so he could softly kiss her mouth. "You haven't. You wouldn't. It was just me, having a bad flashback moment. I didn't mean to ruin the mood." He hugged her tightly, pulling her feet off the floor. "Why don't we go get some lotion and make you feel better...then if you feel like it, we can make love again. The more comfortable way." She nodded, wrapping her legs around his waist. "Or, we could make love like that again, since I'm already stretched and I'll be nice and slick." She kissed his lips lightly. "Because I did enjoy it, Nathaniel. I wouldn't be saying that if I didn't." Nate stared at her for a moment, his lips twitching, before laughing out loud. "I'm sorry, I just never expected 'I'm already stretched and I'll be nice and slick' come out of your mouth." He snickered again, when she smacked his shoulder. Still smiling, he kissed her, softly nipping at her lips with his. "Mmm. Why don't we just do whatever sounds like fun? Nothing planned. We'll just know where to go by what feels good at the time." She grinned broadly at him. "That sounds perfect, beloved." 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